View Full Version : Fading


Gilthranon
03-27-16, 06:09 AM
Do you also, when people are being sort of loud in a group, getting into the discussion, fade to the background ?
In which situation I mostly walk away, no matter how nice they may be. It makes me feel forgotten quickly and I swift into uncertainty and negative thought patterns. Which ultimately adds to my 'dark side'. The chances of eventually getting the attention one deserves in a situation where one is easily overheard is smaller. Walking away would be self knowledge.

sarek
03-29-16, 02:45 AM
When it gets noisy I sort of shut up completely. Worst annoyance then is when people still try to talk with me in such a place. Even when I notice that they are trying to reach me in the first place, I can not hear the question, I can not hear myself think and I can not hear myself giving an answer. Its very stressful.

Gilthranon
03-29-16, 03:15 AM
When it gets noisy I sort of shut up completely. Worst annoyance then is when people still try to talk with me in such a place. Even when I notice that they are trying to reach me in the first place, I can not hear the question, I can not hear myself think and I can not hear myself giving an answer. Its very stressful.
I have been there as well. Hence, I avoid night clubs, loud bars, high ways, and try to communicate the issue in a joke so they get it. I'm surprisingly dull in nightclubs, socially. And in bars, I just sit there, pretending to listen if in a group, if people smoke immediately join them (just outside, don't smoke) and savor the relaxing discussion. But it does definitely put a pin in my mood if I can't find a way out.

Also noticed, warning someone I don't socialize in such places doesn't seem to be grasped. Generally I have the impression they assume I still listen and respond. Although for this topic I meant more like, loud or very direct people, even just two, make me fade to the background quickly.

Fuzzy12
03-29-16, 03:42 AM
I don't like shouting over other people or hAving to fight to get ny voice heard . it's too tiring and annoying.

Cyllya
04-02-16, 09:51 PM
I tend to fade into the background in groups as well. Everyone is much more talkative than me. I don't usually mind this. If I go to bars after work with my coworkers, I usually end up drawing pictures on my Nintendo for most of the conversation until I've got something good to say. My coworkers have commented that they like how I'll be doing my own thing and suddenly say something funny.

It gets a bit annoying in work meetings though. Sometimes the more assertive people will get confused and blab on discussing various hypotheses about something in my area of expertise, and I'm thinking, "Will you guys chillax and let me explain? You know I know more about this than you; that's why you told me to come to this meeting! :rolleyes:" but what I'm saying is, "Erm...... I--... Wait.... Hrm. :("

willow129
04-02-16, 11:29 PM
I can understand the aversion to loudness for sure - though it doesn't generally make me mad/dark. More often overwhelmed - though...that can turn to mad when pushed.

I noticed this at work a couple times. I remember we had a day with a different schedule than normal and we were wrapping up after an hour with 5th/6th grade, I think we said they could play basketball for a bit in the gym cuz we ended up finishing early so it was loud. Then someone unleashed the 4th graders into the mix while others were getting 5th/6th lined up and basketballs put away. WHOA.
My brain just was totally blank from all the commotion and a student came up to me along with a teacher asking questions. I realized I was COMPLETELY zoned out. With kids I can usually manage to say something to appease them, or it's easier for me to say to them like...whoa I cannot hear you it is overwhelming in here, can you ask me after, but it does **** me off when adults persist with questions or their own needs in an environment like this. That can make me snippy.