View Full Version : I must apologize


ginniebean
03-30-16, 12:54 AM
Some of you knew me before I recently came back. When I left and long before I was pretty mentally sick. I said and did things on this forum that can still make me cringe.

When I left, I felt hated and that I deserved it. But I was also bitter about how I felt.

It was a surprise to me when I returned and so many have been so welcoming and made me feel ok about being here again.

I sincerely apologise to whomever I offended, to those who had to deal with me being a massive pain in the ***.

I am not sick anymore, I can't promise to never be a pain in the *** ever again. But I can say, if I hurt anyone, I'm sorry. To those I did hurt, I humbly apologise, you know who you are.


I have come back with an open but cautious heart. I don't want to hold any bad feelings to anyone. I want to feel clean and whole.

Cheers to moving forward.

BellaVita
03-30-16, 01:02 AM
:grouphug:

Ginnie, you know as I've recently said, that I admire you. I've always admired you.

To me, you are one of my role models. Someone I've looked up to since I first read your posts years ago. Your posts really impacted my brain during a hard time, and I have felt that good positive effect even until now.

I think it takes so much strength to publicly apologize, even more reason to admire you and your character.

You have never hurt me, but I'm sure whoever reads your post who has been hurt in the past, will see your good heart and forgive you.

I'm glad to hear you are doing better. I hope you can continue to feel better with each passing day.

Thank you for being here, thank you for being a friend.

Thank you for coming back.

ginniebean
03-30-16, 01:07 AM
Thank you, I'm embarrassed a bit.

I did do a lot of stupid and even at times mean things. I am sorry. I now feel like i'm fishing and I'm not.

But to take nothing from your feelings bella, thank you! <3

BellaVita
03-30-16, 01:19 AM
Your post never came across as "fishing" to me, like fishing for people to say good things?

I was just being honest in my post, because truth is, one day when I die I do not want to have missed an opportunity to tell someone how much what they did meant to me. I wouldn't want to be on my deathbed wishing I had thanked people and wishing I had told people how much they meant to me.

My true feelings can sometimes come across as mushy or too much, but thank you for accepting them. :)

sarek
03-30-16, 02:33 AM
Ginnie, you are very much loved.

midnightstar
03-30-16, 04:24 AM
ADDF loves ginnie :grouphug:

Fortune
03-30-16, 05:33 AM
Ginnie, you are kind of awesome. You know that, right?

Lunacie
03-30-16, 11:26 AM
I had no idea you were struggling back then. I'm sorry I didn't know. I might not have been of any help, but I cared then and I care now. :grouphug:

Fuzzy12
03-30-16, 11:56 AM
Ginnie, I'm assuming that your apology isn't really meant for me (because we haven't had any major issues and you weren't a massive pain to me at all) but to be honest I was a bit annoyed with that one rep comment you made to me just before you left. Anyway, if the apology is meant for me or not, I'm going to accept it and I'm sorry for the unkind thoughts I had when maybe I should have realised that you were going through a tough time.

It wasn't a big deal and I feel petty for even mentioning it but it's nice to move on with a completely clean slate for me as well.

I was really happy actually when you came back and I hope you'll stick around. :grouphug:

ginniebean
03-30-16, 12:02 PM
I'm sorry fuzzy, I have no recall but I do apologize for hurting your feelings.

ginniebean
03-30-16, 12:05 PM
Thank you Lunacie, You're gold. Fortune, mental illness can really take a chunk out of any reasonable self perception. I'm just keeping my head above water. Thank you midnight and sarek. Thanks to everyone.

Luvmybully
03-30-16, 12:06 PM
I have always been the one that doesn't really fit into any tidy category here, and you have always been one to make me feel welcome, no matter what.

I am so thrilled you are not sick anymore. How wonderful!

I am so happy you are back.

stef
03-30-16, 12:29 PM
I didn't know you had been struggling; I was very happy to see you back here :grouphug:

Fortune
03-30-16, 03:46 PM
Thank you Lunacie, You're gold. Fortune, mental illness can really take a chunk out of any reasonable self perception. I'm just keeping my head above water. Thank you midnight and sarek. Thanks to everyone.

Yeah, I totally know.

Zoom Dude
03-30-16, 09:08 PM
Ginnie,

Though I've been on the forums for years now, I jump in kind of rarely these days. I didn't know you were struggling, and I wish you all the best in that effort.

I also see you as one of the stalwarts here. One who has given me and many others much sage advice. Frankly, its effectiveness was probably due to some extent to its delivery. So, don't go totally soft on us, OK? Sometimes a little attitude is a good thing.

http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b138/dazed_n_dejected/icons/and_what_manner_of_jackassery_must_.gif

Love ya,
ZD

ginniebean
03-30-16, 09:31 PM
Thank you Zoom Dude and I doubt I can completelt take the bite out. Thank you so much.

TheGreatKing
03-30-16, 10:18 PM
Hi Ginnie,
I am newer here, so i don't know much history here in the addf but i just wanted to speak up because it takes lots of courage to do that apology and that if you truly feel like you might ve hurt someone back then taking action like this is real responsible and will mean a lot to those people, especially if they held it as a grudge, they can move on.
you are an inspiration to me :D
The Apology opened the opportunity for a new relationship based on mutual respect and mutual responsibility between Indigenous and non-Indigenous Australia. Because without mutual respect and mutual responsibility, the truth is we can achieve very little.
Right actions in the future are the best apologies for bad actions in the past.
:D

aeon
03-30-16, 10:32 PM
Didn’t know you then, but even if I did, it’s all good. :)

No matter what you did, you were doing your best at the time.

Why would I hold that against you?


Glad You’re Back,
Ian

Ganjin
03-30-16, 11:36 PM
Ginniebean! I've wandered back in to these forums after nearly a year away. Very surprised to see your post. I had no idea that you had left. But I'm glad you're back. And I'm glad you're healthy after whatever struggles you had.

I think everybody who has read your words on these forums would know that anything "mean" was not the real you.

peripatetic
03-31-16, 12:15 AM
You'll always be mama bean to me (and Doi) :)

Having written a couple of similar threads, I hear you and I totally understand the desire to offer some explanation/apology/hope to clean start. It amazes me how forgiving most people can be on here and how understanding even when we can't imagine that.

The main reason I am posting is to applaud your strength in returning and be engaged once again. I can relate to feeling embarrassed and apologetic and fearing that I've alienated everyone and made outlandish claims and, if nothing else, overshared my mental illness. It is a testament to the camaraderie and community one can find here that I've returned. I can think of at least twice when I was away inpatient for stretches and when I got released I thought there was no way I could "fit" here again. And it's been really hard at times.

I'm so glad you decided to return. I'm so happy for you to be feeling better. You are one of my longest lasting friends on here and we've been through so much... Whatever meanness or misunderstanding or suspicions between us were because I was unwell, too. What I'm saying is that you are courageous to acknowledge your errors, just know that you weren't the only one making regrettable mistakes.

You're a good egg, bean...I look forward to picking up some of the many interesting conversations we've had over the years xx

midnightstar
03-31-16, 03:47 AM
Ginniebean, you have always been an absolute gem on here and I am glad you're feeling better and I hope you never feel like you have to go away again :grouphug:

Unmanagable
03-31-16, 08:39 AM
Being surrounded by so many who are also struggling, hurting, celebrating, joking, venting, lashing out, providing comfort, lending a hand, and tripping over perceptions and notions, and often all at once, lol, can lead to hurt feelings, misinterpretations, and pains we'd rather not experience.

I've found your presence and energies to be incredibly helpful and supportive to me through the years, even if I didn't understand the information or intention in the moment, mainly because I wasn't sure of my own, and am so f'n glad to have you back in the house. :) Big love and hugs to ya', beanster.

RobotInDisguise
03-31-16, 09:22 PM
ADDF loves ginnie :grouphug:

i second that.