View Full Version : Vyvanse caused me to feel again?


Pugly
04-03-16, 11:16 PM
I visited this forum before, but I sort of went away. This is going to be long, but I have a lot to say and now feel comfortable enough to say it.

I'm back because I'm starting to get treatment of add. Trying to get my life turned around here after 33 years of untreated add.

So I got a Vyvanse prescription and tried it for 2 days. I don't know if the psychiatrist knows a lot about add, but he prescribed 70mg which now I see as the highest dosage. I also have issues with anxiety and depression, or so it seems. I'm not super depressed, but I often lack motivation and interest in life activities... and sometimes jump to negative associations. But I often feel numb to everything, intellectualize and day dream. The psychiatrist asked what was a bigger problem, the anxiety, depression or add... and I said the focus issues.

First day I was nervous trying it, but I was very happy with the effect. I have never in my life done recreational drugs, but I guess the first use of Vyvanse can cause euphoria and it did big time with me. I just felt on and happy... with a huge boost to my confidence and social skills. I did notice the focus effects, but I felt I was speaking too fast as well. But it was a balanced fast, where I knew what I wanted to say. Talking with family I noticed eye contact was odd, I made more of it, but people responded to me differently. I normally smile a lot, either through nervousness or general amusement... but I seemed to be smiling at people. I was engaged in the world in a way I have never felt in my adult life.

Towards the end of the day I started to feel off though, I retreated into my shell and started to want no part of social interactions. I still felt positive and productive, and could communicate better but with a layer of anxiety that was slightly more intense than without medication. When I went home it was still there, but I had fewer anxiety triggers so I was okay.

It was challenging going to sleep, but that was also my fault since I stayed up way past my bedtime doing more Vyvanse research.

Onto Day 2: I help out my Grandpa and Grandma and so I took the meds and then headed off to help. At first the meds were great, even better since I didn't seem to have that false euphoria that I now didn't expect to last. And just went about the day doing the tasks. I was less anxious talking to people at stores. I felt normal in a way. Not concerned what people were thinking about me, just in the moment living like people do... instead of the cautous neurotic intellectual wondering I normally do all the time. The intellectual wondering was there, but less pervasive and I felt I could communicate my ideas and it wasn't controlling me.

Anyways all good stuff so far. Then the same anxious cut off feeling started to happen again. And the appetite thing is caught up with me. And I'm starting to feel nauseous and food doesn't seem appealing. Then I started to get really sensitive. My grandparents started bickering and I couldn't take it. I was in the moment, but I was starting to feel some negative feedback from that. I was feeling again. Not numb intellectualizing. But it was painful. I'm a sensitive person, but I have kept an intellectual shell around me.. for what seems like forever... and so I just feel numb emotionally most of the time. But not now, now it's coming back on this drug.

I left my grandparents feeling sad. Then on the way home I listened to music, which also mad me feel sad. I couldn't place it, and this feeling coming back... the in the moment emotional roller coaster I was experiencing is not familiar to me. When I got home, I started to clean up things and I just broke down and cried. I couldn't place it, I just thought of things in my life and cried.

So um I don't know. What is this all about? I'm worried that this might crop up in inopportune time is. I'm kinda scared that my sensitivity is back, the sensitivity I felt that I've lost for the longest time. But I'm kind of happy that this is what people are supposed to feel like. But this anxiety I feel towards the afternoon scares me as well.

It felt like Data getting his emotion chip back.

Is this normal for Vyvanse? Should I get the doctor to treat the anxiety and depression too? Am I taking too much Vyvanse? Am I just getting used to it and my body is responding in strange ways?

During the early part of the day, I feel almost no anxiety or depression feelings. It's quite good. I feel like I can take on the world, and the rumination I would normally do and amplifying all the negative feedback side of things is gone.

But I'm also worried about this other stuff.

This post would have taken me 3 hours to write without the drug though. And as is it only took me eh 20 mins or so. So the positive benefits seem so very much worth it, even the appetite thing... who needs food any more. I've been meaning to try a liquid diet anyways...

Thanks to all who read this!

ginniebean
04-04-16, 12:16 AM
You're going thru a lot right now. Congratulations on going for treatment. It sounds like you're getting some very positive effects that may be life changing. It also sounds like you're having a difficult time handling the end of day crash.

I think we kinda have to just put up with the crash. I could be wrong and if I am hopefully someone will come in and correct me.

It's possible you are more emotional because you are more aware of how you're feeling or it's possible you are awakening to your own sensitivity. It's a bit soon to tell. Give it more time and see what happens. Let us know.

TheGreatKing
04-04-16, 12:48 AM
yes that's exactly what i was thinking.
Its quite possible it is the crash that's causing you these feelings.
I guess the best way to find out is to see if the times line up the same each day.

Pugly
04-04-16, 09:48 PM
Okay, day 3 and I'm done. I'm not taking this stuff anymore.

I don't know what it is about this, but at work everything was just off. I started off feeling good. I feel like I can say more, my anxiety goes away and my mind is clear to formulate ideas very quickly. Too quickly.

I work as a tutor and while I felt positive and upbeat I was also kinda flat. And I got what felt like negative responses from the students. I think I was so clear and confident that the way I was teaching felt like I was an arrogant jerk or something. It felt smooth to me, but the response was all wrong. I would say something off my head, and then people responded to me... more than people have responded but it seemed mostly negative or neutral.

I think I had one student on the verge of tears with how fast and to the point my explanations were... With out the meds I think I had my quirky absent mindedness to make me more relate-able. But with these meds and how clear my thinking was, I think I might have come off as intimidating... or something. I don't know, but I didn't like it. And I don't want it to affect my employment.

And I top of this I had the crash again. Towards the end I felt even more mentally foggy than I normally do. I worked a long time without a break, so that might be part of it. But I was absolutely drained at the end on the inside. I started to feel the sadness creep in on the way home too. It wasn't complete sadness, more disappointment and frustration. But it wasn't good either.

My therapist was surprised that I was given 70mg to start. And all the stuff I've read said you need to ramp up the dose to see what works.

This is so frustrating, because the benefits to me seem perfectly clear. But these downsides are the worst too. The weird eye contact I have now. The communication that seems to frustrate everyone, but seems great to me.

The one upside is the meds gave me the clarity to set up a primary care doctor, so I'll see that one and see what they have to say. I think the psychiatrist I went to didn't know what he was doing.

QuasarMind
04-11-16, 02:18 PM
The effects you describe are unfortunately normal but they will dampen some. I worked Gold tech support for Dell supporting business, educatin and government customers and while most people I talked too were pretty smart some, typically those without an IT department would be kind of blind and I would have the urge to snap at them as well as my temp roommate for being "dumb". Despite all this I remained in the top 5% for every measured stat including customer experience. Without Adderall I was around the top 30%. I did find a solution not many here will approve of and that was 1mg Xanax. At the time my weight was 240lbs so if I were much under 200lbs I think 0.5mg would do. This made me a far nicer person, didn't hurt the positive effect of my Adderall nor reduce my reflexes on my motorcycle which typically included long sustained 70-110mph wheelies every day.

Pugly
04-13-16, 09:56 PM
Yeah the social changes were too drastic, even if that's what it is supposed to feel like. I can't deal with having a crash because I have such a social job. Especially because I'm already established in a social role with these students. I'm paranoid about changing too much and losing my job or something, although that's unlikely... and my job isn't great. Managing my ADHD to me is the first step in turning my life around and turning down a new path.

I'm set up for my first visit to a primary Dr. in 3 weeks, and the Psychiatrist later that week, so I'll see what changes are recommended.

I don't mind being spacey some of the time, it's my normal state I'm comfortable in... but the lack of focus towards life projects, social issues, and mild depression that I always have really makes it hard to live a 'normal' life...

QuasarMind
04-14-16, 04:54 PM
I found that taking 2x (20mg am 10mg pm) doses of Adderall IR per day completely eliminated the crash I felt with Vyvasne 70mg. I don't get that crash anymore but since I moved to Oklahoma I don't have a "real job" any more so it isn't as noticeable. You may also wish to consider a Ritalin based drug, I tried Concerta 37.5mg and it just didn't have that push I needed or the ability to clear that "drowsy fog" I suffer from unmediated. It did work some but for me Adderall worked 3-4 times better. I certainly didn't have any kind of euphoric rush, which for me I think of as "probably what its like to be normal" but I think that is what is causing some of your problems. For me, as far as the "snapping", I don't think it was so much adrenaline as it was feeling smarter than everyone else... and on Adderall I pretty much was... so when people would be F$#%#$#@ stupid I would get mad at them but eventually with or without the Xanax I learned to control that with the anticipation and experience of what was happening. You might find your self able to do the same.

I am not kidding about the 2x per day split Adderall dose eliminating the "crash", for the 60 days I took Vyvanse when I would come down after hour 10 or so I would get bad anxiety and have the urge to drink or take Xanax which neither is a good thing. Drinking once in a while, say every few weeks is fine, but not every day after work... Taking Xanax is fine, but if you have a compulsion to take it then you've got a problem unless you are just the top 1% of those people wired high strung.

Yeah the social changes were too drastic, even if that's what it is supposed to feel like. I can't deal with having a crash because I have such a social job. Especially because I'm already established in a social role with these students. I'm paranoid about changing too much and losing my job or something, although that's unlikely... and my job isn't great. Managing my ADHD to me is the first step in turning my life around and turning down a new path.

I'm set up for my first visit to a primary Dr. in 3 weeks, and the Psychiatrist later that week, so I'll see what changes are recommended.

I don't mind being spacey some of the time, it's my normal state I'm comfortable in... but the lack of focus towards life projects, social issues, and mild depression that I always have really makes it hard to live a 'normal' life...

Jiberish
04-20-16, 10:06 AM
Some meds just dont work for some people. I personally can only take one SSRI. The rest give me HORRIBLE adverse side effects to the worste degree. My Doctors will not even let me touch them! (thank god)

I would talk to your Dr. Again, every medicatin is taylord to the individual, sometimes its just how our body processes them that cause these things.

Good luck!