View Full Version : Wife adderall abuse...need advice


tannat
04-05-16, 02:25 PM
Hello all,

My 14 year old son has adhd, but this thread is about his mom who began abusing his Adderall about a year ago.

I'll try to be brief.

In January of 2015 we realized our marriage was on the rocks and we went started therapy, in the end it wasn't helpful, but just recently I may have discovered why.

I found out that since March of 2015 my wife had been filling the scripts of my son's 15mg xr of D-amphetamine. My son does not take the medication-his tics get quite bad when he does.

In March of 2015 number of things gradually changed in our marriage:

-healthy sex life to no sex life
-wife found that she was unable to stay at our home at night, began housesitting for a wealthy friend, then moved into an apartment with another friend
-she also dropped about 6 clothing sizes, very important to her and her family as she and siblings have all battled with weight issues

Since March of 2015 she has slept in the house maybe 30 of 365 nights. March-September she had monthly doses of the 15mg pills, but then we got other doses as well, supposedly for our son to help him in school, but he could not take them (tics).

In February of 2016 I found that the pills which we she was supposedly keeping for our son we decreasing at 30- 40 mg per day-and later that month confirmed she refilled two scripts for 10mg and 15mg, for her own use.

I confronted her with it, and she admitted to doing it only a little, then a little more, then a little more...you get the picture.

I confiscated the bulk of the drugs-left her a little bit and asked her to try to wean off the medicine.

Within a few days she filled a prescription for 5mgs that she had been holding. She said the 5's did nothing for her. She is a school administrator, and it is a tough time for her, so I caved in and gave her the 10s and 15s.

On top of all of this she has now filed for divorce....and it bothers me tremendously that pre March 2015, yeah, we were not on the best of ground-but when she began taking the meds seems to be a huge turning point in our lives.

Questions:

1) Are my above feelings justified about the effect of Adderall on how it affects ones behavior. Could it have 'promoted' her feelings to go this route?

2) I fear for my well being, her well being, and the well being of my 10 and 14 year old if the divorce goes through for we have many financial entanglements. If I feel she is making irrational decisions am I justified in providing the above information to her parents (who have helped us tremendously in so many ways...).

I personally feel she has been living in an amphetamine fog for the past year, and had she not started taking the drug we would be in a better spot than where we are now...

Thanks for listening...

Jiberish
04-25-16, 06:44 AM
Hey, Im sorry you are going through this. Addiction is a tough subject, whether its just abuse, or actual full blown dependency.

Generally speaking, as I understand it, drugs and abuse are used to fill a void, or self medicate. If you were on the rocks, it wouldnt be hard to say hmmm.....when I take these I forget about my problems (self medicating).

I think if she is taking prescription meds from her child (if thats how im seeing it) is obviously not just wrong, but dangerous for her and your child.

I think reaching out to her family would be a great idea. Know this though, and this is hard (im going through it with my cousin). You can support, you can try to help, you can spend years trying to help.......but until she comes to terms with the fact that she has a problem and wants to change....im sorry my friend......its unlikely. Give love and encouragement, not judgement.

A good way might be look, I know you are using this and after the last few years, I can understand why, but I think regardless of our situation, I think it would be good to stop while your ahead. I would love for you to be their for our child regardless of our interpersonal relationships etc. It might be the small intervention she needs to deal with life, if in fact thats what she is running from right now.

I hope this helps. A great website where you will find usefull help to check out is www.intherooms.com and or soberrecovery.com. A lot of people go on their for themselves and loved ones.

PS this is just from my personal experience........im not a DR, not therapist, so take it with a grain of salt. Their are other people in here with more experience than I have when it comes to abuse/addiction.

Pilgrim
04-25-16, 05:04 PM
A person that has issues regarding self esteem and direction in life is always a hard nut to crack.
A relationship I had with a woman like this just ended in heart ache. I realised that I really became attracted to a woman that was a lot like my own mother and all her problems.

The drug is not going to completely transform her mind into something else although she is using it inappropriately.
It sounds like you don't want to completely let go and I don't blame you. However in the long run are these problems you want later on.
There are no simple answers and my heart goes out to you believe me.
Try to focus on the things you can influence, your own wellbeing and the care of your children.
I think, and I'm not a dr, why don't you go and see someone and talk about how you feel.
If your trying to control things that are not controllable this can be a recipe for unhappiness.

Believe me I wish the best for you and I hope this gives you peace. And your able to see what's important here.

ginniebean
04-25-16, 05:51 PM
Call the son's doctor. You have every right to discuss his medication and explain the situation.

Yes adderal can change a person dramatically. This is wrong in many ways.

sketchywhale
05-25-16, 02:17 PM
This must be really rough for you! Yeah, what are you describing of your wife, and the sneakiness, the lying, the unusual behavior is partly due to Adderall (or mostly). Adderall made me lie, and do the opposite of what I used to to. Instead of being kind, I became irritable, and mean at times. Well, there are obviously other issues that your wife is probably avoiding, because it hurts her, even if she does not know it. The bottom line is that it does not sound like you have much leverage in getting her stop, unless you reported her. I don't know if that is the best action to take as she could lose her job (maybe), and whatever else. What if you were to just be as kind towards her as you can, and treat her with love. Focus on the good that is in her, even though it may be buried right now. At this point she probably thinks that without Adderall she cannot function at all. She will not be able to recover unless she wants to, so she may just have to get to her bottom before she is ready.

Remember this is just my opinion! Seek advice of a addiction counselor, or someone who is qualified.