View Full Version : How are you ?


Gilthranon
04-09-16, 05:34 AM
When people ask how I am, I know they expect a 'fine' or such, but quiet frankly, when was the last time I was ? Trick question as it may be, few moments of my life didn't have any restlessness. I generally have sufficient matters that occupy my mind, that parasite a healthy spirit so I can't find myself being that fine.

Right now for example - health. Body signs there's urgent work to do. And financially heavily in debt with parents.

Not saying anything dramatic, just, not fine. Right now living on hitch hiking, couch surfing and buying a tent. But deteriorating health (and debt) just steals some stardom away. Yes the counter argument would be, salvation doesn't lie within the absence of problems, but knowing how to deal with them. But all philosophies aside, how are you ?

sarahsweets
04-09-16, 05:48 AM
I think the "how are you" question is a societal nicety. Most people ask you how are are because that seems to be standared part of a greeting. And when people that are just every now and again friends, Im not even sure they really want to know. Like when the clerk says how are you, can you imagine if we were like " terrible. My mom dies and my house burned down." I think that answer would surely stump someone. When I run into friends Ive been working hard on being specific. To show that I am interested and care about whats going on in their lives. So if I run into a college friend I might say " hey bob! What have you been up to?" or " I heard you got married recently. Congrats" But I am guilty of the run of the mill 'how are you' when I dont know someone well.

Unmanagable
04-09-16, 08:53 AM
I tend to answer them all very honestly. They tend to stop asking. lol

Gilthranon
04-09-16, 10:09 AM
Unman - hahaha brilliant
Yeah agreed Sarah and I'm a normal guy, no different than everyone else's superficialities of course but if it's asked in a genuine way, I genuinely think about it. I'm also honest that I hate saying I'm good if it's a blunt lie. It's not the saying I'm good if I'm not that is the thing.

It's knowing the underlying truth of my answer in reflection to my life.

midnightstar
04-09-16, 04:15 PM
I just pretend to be okay even when I'm not - spares me having to explain to people how I really feel.

TheGreatKing
04-09-16, 04:46 PM
I just pretend to be okay even when I'm not - spares me having to explain to people how I really feel.
Hahaha exactly!
I grew acustom to saying "Good", so that is what i say all the time, it has just become a part of my everyday vocabulary. It's easy and get's people off your back, plus do you really want to explain what is going on in your life.
Once you say anything negative they want you to explain to them why.
Just saying!

psychopathetic
04-09-16, 07:34 PM
This question...or questions similar to it...really trip me up sometimes. Like are they asking how I'm doing just to be nice? Do I say "I'm doing good!"?? Or do they really want to know how I'm doing? And how much do I really want to tell them? Will they respect me less if I tell them I'm doing anything less than great? Meh...I'm just going to tell them I'm doing good so I don't mess things up.

lol it just trips me up a bit...and sometimes my response comes out slightly awkward "I'm doing great!" but I'll stutter a little or there will be a small awkward pause before I answer as I have this littler 'internal dialogue' going on trying to figure out how to respond. And sometimes I feel a bit guilty if I say I'm doing really well...when really I'm not doing so well at all. Like I'm lying or trying to be an imposter or something.

Or sometimes people ask me how I'm doing, and I'm not doing so well at all...and I'd absolutely love to sit down and tell them all about it...but...I'd really hate to burden them with my crap, and they're probably only asking to be nice anyhow.
"I'm doing good! How about you??!"
/sigh...

In fact. I don't think I like being asked how I'm doing at all!
lol :p

psychopathetic
04-09-16, 07:38 PM
I tend to answer them all very honestly. They tend to stop asking. lol

LOL :lol: :lol: :lol:

My poor Unsy! haha

((((((((((((((Uns))))))))))))))

midnightstar
04-10-16, 05:33 AM
Hahaha exactly!
I grew acustom to saying "Good", so that is what i say all the time, it has just become a part of my everyday vocabulary. It's easy and get's people off your back, plus do you really want to explain what is going on in your life.
Once you say anything negative they want you to explain to them why.
Just saying!

Yep either that or they back away and run as soon as you say anything negative :eyebrow:

I don't get why though because surely if you ask someone how they are you actually want the answer?

TygerSan
04-10-16, 06:05 AM
For me, it's a script. "Hi, how are you?" "Fine, thanks, and you", a ritualistic meaningless exchange that doesn't actually aim to elicit any real information from the other party. That is, it's a greeting and nothing more (especially true of people like cashiers and other folks I do not know at all).

The funny thing is that this was driven home to me when I moved to England and failed to get the memo that "Are you alright?" falls into that category of ritualistic greeting until I was well into my stay.

midnightstar
04-10-16, 09:00 AM
For me, it's a script. "Hi, how are you?" "Fine, thanks, and you", a ritualistic meaningless exchange that doesn't actually aim to elicit any real information from the other party. That is, it's a greeting and nothing more (especially true of people like cashiers and other folks I do not know at all).

The funny thing is that this was driven home to me when I moved to England and failed to get the memo that "Are you alright?" falls into that category of ritualistic greeting until I was well into my stay.

I'm British and even though I know the correct answer to "how are you" is "fine thanks" I don't understand why nobody wants to know how you actually are :eyebrow:

Little Missy
04-10-16, 09:03 AM
Sometimes I just yell out, "Groovy!" and keep on going.

TheGreatKing
04-10-16, 02:45 PM
Sometimes I just yell out, "Groovy!" and keep on going.

sometimes i yell out "I AM DOING SUPER AWESOME" and then just laugh!
Just saying.:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lo l::lol::lol::lol:

Fuzzy12
04-10-16, 02:49 PM
I'm sometimes tempted to tell people the truth when they ask how I am but I never do.. if I did answer truthfully they'd probably never ask again. :rolleyes: