View Full Version : That's what I get


Gilthranon
04-09-16, 03:01 PM
Being polite all evening, reminding how awesome the guys are. But one guy insists on mentioning his religious beliefs. But when he get's drunk AND I REMAIN NEUTRAL !!!!! He insists, I stand my ground (growing up) and say I prefer to keep it private that our friendship shouldn't depend on this and his friends remain nice. Even touches my arm, firmly holds it and blocks the door before I get out.
I have my principles on where my line is. ITS FAR BEHIND THIS.

WHy oh why do i remain nice ? WHY ?!!! Because I was scared. I hate this, absolutely hate his. His friends were so nice.

You what they say ? Don't mind him, he's like this when he get's drunk. Yeah ? WELL SINCE WHEN IS THATS AN EXCUSE ? GROWN MEN STAND for their beliefs. STOP EXCUSING.

Now I feel depressed and, quiet frankly, slightly scared.

Gilthranon
04-09-16, 03:30 PM
[Mod Note: First reply removed due to violation of ADDF guidelines on discussion of religion.]

Thnx for replying, this doesn't happen often and needed some sympathy. Whether just or not :) They asked A LOT of my self control tonight and he was insanely pushing and intense. All I keep thinking of is knowing some people, physically very confident enough to not be remotely scared. Give me a break; moments like these, it helps. The door was locked on their key, all that had to happen was this guy to snap and the moment I told him to stop insisting on his religion, you should've seen him.

midnightstar
04-09-16, 03:53 PM
:grouphug: Ocyan, hope you feel less scared soon :grouphug:

Lunacie
04-09-16, 04:45 PM
Thnx for replying, this doesn't happen often and needed some sympathy. Whether just or not :) They asked A LOT of my self control tonight and he was insanely pushing and intense. All I keep thinking of is knowing some people, physically very confident enough to not be remotely scared. Give me a break; moments like these, it helps. The door was locked on their key, all that had to happen was this guy to snap and the moment I told him to stop insisting on religion, you should've seen him.

You did great. Fight or freeze ... sometimes freezing means you don't make things worse.

I had a situation last week where a neighbor was blasting music in her SUV in the driveway with the doors wide open. I was just going to ask her to please turn it down but she jumped down and was in my face screaming at me.

I stepped away and called the cops. She scared the crap out of me the way she erupted before I could even say a word. Apparently she apologized to the cops and the park manager, but she never apologized to me. :rolleyes:

dvdnvwls
04-09-16, 06:52 PM
"Accepting that he is a religious man"

is very different from

"accepting his religion".


He seems to not be getting that.

If you don't accept the fact that he is a religious person, there's no possibility for friendship. If he doesn't stop trying to make you religious, there's also no possibility for friendship. It sounds to me like you have done your part just fine, and that he has messed up his part very badly.

If I were you, I would be asking myself "Is he worth it?" - and from the sound of things, my answer would be "Probably not, but maybe I'm willing to try again."

aeon
04-09-16, 07:11 PM
Ocyan:


I no longer have any expectation for a person who believes in things that cannot be proven to exhibit reasonable behavior, regardless of the presence of ethanol intoxication.

I’m sorry to know that in your situation it led to distress.


Well-Wishes,
Ian

TheGreatKing
04-09-16, 09:00 PM
ocyan,
I hope your emotionally ok.
I am so happy it didn't go further then it did.
you are a better person then me. I am here for you my friend :)

Gilthranon
04-09-16, 10:09 PM
Thnx you guy for your support.

Without touching me he crossed the line already where he was out of my life when he became menacing, but when he touched me - irrelevant how many excuses, you're out of my life for good. I don't ever want to see him again. If I came across him I will maybe say I don't want to talk to you at maximum.

KarmanMonkey
04-12-16, 09:15 AM
Being drunk is not an acceptable defence. Regardless of my state of mind, it's still important for me to be accountable for my actions.

ADD makes me impulsive. That does not mean I have a license to hurt someone through my impulsive actions and have that behaviour accepted. And this is in a situation where we did not choose to create this state of mind.

I've never understood why people get away with so much when they're drunk, when it was their choice to use enough alcohol that their judgment was impaired.

I'd talk to him about it when he's sober, and if he doesn't take you seriously, or if he fails to give a plan on how to prevent a recurrance of his behaviour, then it's up to you to decide if you're willing to put up with a repeat of that night, and what you need to do to ensure your own safety.

Sometimes people need to be told point blank that their behaviour is not acceptable.

namazu
04-12-16, 02:45 PM
MODERATOR NOTE: Discussion of religion is prohibited by ADDF guidelines (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=15842):

Banned Topics:
* The main focus of ADD Forums is to provide a safe supportive place for people affected by AD/HD, and other co-morbid disorders. To do this, sometimes we must limit the scope of the permitted topics, to foster such a supportive environment.

* We have had issues arise here that have prevented this from happening - primarily members voicing their opinions about religious and political matters. While everyone is allowed their own opinions, there really is no other way to prevent such issues from "disturbing the peace", except to keep these things completely out of the ADD Forums in the first place.

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Little Missy
04-12-16, 02:48 PM
Sometimes people need to be told point blank that their behaviour is not acceptable.

:goodpost:

Fuzzy12
04-12-16, 04:48 PM
It's nice that you remained nice but the next time he troubles you tell him (nicely if that's possible) that his behaviour isn't ok.

ginniebean
04-12-16, 08:28 PM
Ocyan, Such behaviour is extreme, we can't prepare ourselves for this kind of thing. It sounds like you were ambushed and you were the one adhering to social protocol. What happened with this guy is no relection on you. What a jerk!. I do hope you'll stay in touch with your nice new friends but this guy crossed the line.

I did have something similar happen to me years ago. A couple of fanatic women jumped me, held me down and started speaking jibberish. It scared the heck out of me. I couldn't get out of their fast enough. Can totally relate to what your experience.

Gilthranon
04-13-16, 03:18 AM
Being drunk is not an acceptable defence. Regardless of my state of mind, it's still important for me to be accountable for my actions.

ADD makes me impulsive. That does not mean I have a license to hurt someone through my impulsive actions and have that behaviour accepted. And this is in a situation where we did not choose to create this state of mind.

I've never understood why people get away with so much when they're drunk, when it was their choice to use enough alcohol that their judgment was impaired.

I'd talk to him about it when he's sober, and if he doesn't take you seriously, or if he fails to give a plan on how to prevent a recurrance of his behaviour, then it's up to you to decide if you're willing to put up with a repeat of that night, and what you need to do to ensure your own safety.

Sometimes people need to be told point blank that their behaviour is not acceptable.
Entirely agreed but I don't give second chances. He's banned from my life.

It's nice that you remained nice but the next time he troubles you tell him (nicely if that's possible) that his behaviour isn't ok.
No reason to be nice with people like this. He's lost his one chance.

Ocyan, Such behaviour is extreme, we can't prepare ourselves for this kind of thing. It sounds like you were ambushed and you were the one adhering to social protocol. What happened with this guy is no relection on you. What a jerk!. I do hope you'll stay in touch with your nice new friends but this guy crossed the line.

I did have something similar happen to me years ago. A couple of fanatic women jumped me, held me down and started speaking jibberish. It scared the heck out of me. I couldn't get out of their fast enough. Can totally relate to what your experience.
Yeah I can relate to that experience too !

sarahsweets
04-13-16, 06:31 AM
Next time tell him to go f**k himself.

KarmanMonkey
04-13-16, 10:34 AM
I don't blame you; I often am thinking of the next person, or the fact that he might not be aware of how his behaviour and habits are affecting people...

Then again, he may just be a jerk.