View Full Version : ADD PI and rage


NateDEEzy
04-09-16, 05:00 PM
Is it a trait of ADD PI to have rage? Like I go to file my taxes and call my mom for help and ask how she did it electronically and she can't remember, which started to **** me off. And then I go to open what my work sent me and it's not the right thing, and it's something I've never seen before and don't know what to do with it. Then I try using the online source we use, which I never signed up for, so they said I should have been mailed the info, which I wasn't, and then I go to try and sign in and can't. And at this point I'm for real on the verge of punching my wall. I feel like this isn't normal, but I don't know if this is ADD related or just something else? Btw I used to be this way when I was younger- I had so many holes in my door. But lately with my general apathy with life I don't feel much and so I don't care a lot, it's mostly sorrow and despair, but hardly rage. I just don't have the energy for rage it seems. Anyway, I digress. Thoughts?

Little Missy
04-09-16, 05:06 PM
I have rage, but never, ever in my life have I damaged anything because of it.

ginniebean
04-09-16, 05:07 PM
Rage is not really an inattentive trait. It's emotional impulsivity. Yes, I rage at times but then I'm adhd c type

dvdnvwls
04-09-16, 06:38 PM
There's a thing I think I can see going on here... not a "perfect storm", but I guess it's a "pretty good storm". :)

First, the fact that your mom and the other people at work probably finished their taxes before you started thinking about yours. (Like, maybe the reason your mom forgot how was that she was done so long ago.) You know that and I know that, and we're both used to the fact that that's likely the way things are going to happen - and yet, somewhere inside, it still hurts me to know it. I don't know about you, but I suppose it might do the same to you.

And then there's the fact that you counted on the right resources to be there when you needed them, and they weren't there. It's not your fault. But people who don't understand are going to be quick to blame you, saying you should have started your taxes earlier and then you would have had an easy time getting those problems solved for you. Again, you and I have both been through that type of situation thousands of times, and again that's just the way things are - but for me it still hurts pretty bad. I still blame myself. I know exactly what "They" are going to say, and I save them the trouble by saying it myself.

And we are told over and over again that stuff like this is very important and we'll be in deep trouble if we don't succeed at it.


With that amount of internal pain, and that level of urgency and fear, are feelings of rage any surprise?

TheGreatKing
04-09-16, 09:20 PM
psychiatrist said i might benefit from anger management.
-

Little Missy
04-09-16, 09:23 PM
psychiatrist said i might benefit from anger management.
-

Hogwash. Unless you enjoy that whole process. If you can walk away and sleep on it, things sure can become different the next day.

daveddd
04-09-16, 09:31 PM
psychiatrist said i might benefit from anger management.
-

Anger was one emotion i was able to gain control of

So they may be right

TheGreatKing
04-09-16, 09:31 PM
Hogwash. Unless you enjoy that whole process. If you can walk away and sleep on it, things sure can become different the next day.

I personally believe it's some of my adhd symptom.
When i am trying to pay attention to something and someone disrupts me i can get grumpy or when no one is listening to me just some examples. I also hate when people stare!but that could also be not properly reading the situations.

Little Missy
04-09-16, 09:33 PM
I personally believe it's some of my adhd symptom.
When i am trying to pay attention to something and someone disrupts me i can get grumpy or when no one is listening to me just some examples. I also hate when people stare!but that could also be not properly reading the situations.

oohhh, now I understand. :)

TheGreatKing
04-09-16, 10:26 PM
oohhh, now I understand. :)

He he damn adhd!:lol:

sarahsweets
04-10-16, 05:37 AM
For me, rage is a type of anger combined with no fear of consequences, reality or fate. Its a place I have rarely experienced because of the loss of control that would be born. I would have zero regard for my own safety if I were to someone end up raging. Plus, I just havent had many experiences with people places and things that have caused me to rage.....I guess I havent met someone that evil or bad. But I do experience intense anger and irrational anger. The irrational anger is the worst because every fiber of my being is just itching for a fight or confrontation and its just a matter of who the lucky victim will be.

NateDEEzy
04-10-16, 12:51 PM
I don't know what it is. I think it's a chemical imbalance that I have. I got it from my dad. He's always had anger issues, and it's one of the main reasons why my mom divorced him. Once when I was real young-like 11 or 12 my uncle had to hold my dad back with literally all his strength cuz he was trying to get to me bc he thought I pushed my niece down the stairs (bc my aunt who's a **** was trying to blame me, even though my uncle saw that I wasn't even in the room when she fell). It's just an irrational anger that builds with anxiety- like the hulk goes through- I feel like hot and itchy inside and get real tense and my mind races even faster and it's just a huge buildup of energy and it all comes down to whether I let choose to act on it, or just keep it in. It hasn't happened to me in a while- in fact everyone I know thinks I'm the most chill person. When my sister tells people how I used to punch holes in my door no one can believe it. It's just something I guess I try to suppress, which I know isn't healthy but I'm not real sure if it's something I can ever get rid of- the best I can do is try to cope with it and I guess that's what I've tried to learn how to do on my own and I think why I've been drawn to spiritual type books in maybe a subconscious effort to help me solve these issues.

TheGreatKing
04-10-16, 02:20 PM
I don't know what it is. I think it's a chemical imbalance that I have. I got it from my dad. He's always had anger issues, and it's one of the main reasons why my mom divorced him. Once when I was real young-like 11 or 12 my uncle had to hold my dad back with literally all his strength cuz he was trying to get to me bc he thought I pushed my niece down the stairs (bc my aunt who's a **** was trying to blame me, even though my uncle saw that I wasn't even in the room when she fell). It's just an irrational anger that builds with anxiety- like the hulk goes through- I feel like hot and itchy inside and get real tense and my mind races even faster and it's just a huge buildup of energy and it all comes down to whether I let choose to act on it, or just keep it in. It hasn't happened to me in a while- in fact everyone I know thinks I'm the most chill person. When my sister tells people how I used to punch holes in my door no one can believe it. It's just something I guess I try to suppress, which I know isn't healthy but I'm not real sure if it's something I can ever get rid of- the best I can do is try to cope with it and I guess that's what I've tried to learn how to do on my own and I think why I've been drawn to spiritual type books in maybe a subconscious effort to help me solve these issues.

so.. i had a awesome paragraph and exited somehow out of my browsers what the hell!:D
Well i was just saying that i too had an explosive and impulsive nature as teenager when it came to my anger. My father was a little afraid because of this but i am not going to get into that today he he. 20-21 of age i started to mellow out, and yes i still have that deep aggressive nature but it is how you react to those toxic emotions that matter.
some tools are
-meditation
-behavioral therapy
- anger management groups
-practice coping strategies
I also found this

1) Control your emotions by looking ahead
I recall an old Zen master saying: "Your anger, depression, spite, or despair, so seemingly real and important right now; where will they have gone in a month, a week, or even a moment?"

Very intense emotions blind us to the future and con us that now is all that matters. In fact, when we are incredibly angry or anxious, we can even momentarily forget that there is even going to be a future. I'm reminded of one guy I worked with who'd stuffed an ice cream cone in his boss's face when he was enraged. This momentary action had huge and prolonged consequences on this man's life; particularly finances.

We've all said or done things we later regret simply because, for a time, we let ourselves be dictated by our own emotion. If you get angry, think to yourself: "How will I feel tomorrow if I lose my dignity and tell this person (I have to see everyday) that they have a face like a cow pat?" If you are anxious about some imminent event, say to yourself: "Wow, how am I going to feel tomorrow/next week when I look back at this?" Look beyond the immediate and you'll see the bigger picture and calm down, too.

2) Get to know yourself
We all kid ourselves a little/a lot. "No, I'm really pleased for you! No, I really am!" (Arghhhhhhhh!)

Learn to observe your own attitudes and emotional ebbs and flows. One key first step to emotional control is to know when we are actually being emotional and also why.

If you catch yourself feeling unexpectedly strongly about something, ask yourself why. Controlling your emotions isn't about pretending they are not there. If you feel jealous, angry, sad, bitter, or greedy, label exactly how you are feeling in your own mind: "Okay, I don't like that I'm feeling this way, but I'm feeling very envious!" Now you've admitted it to yourself.

The next step is to identify why you feel the way you do: "I hate to admit it, but I'm feeling envious of Bob because he's just been complimented for his work and I haven't!"

Being able to exercise this self-honesty means you don't have to resort to what a large proportion of the human race do. You won't have to 'rationalize'. We rationalize by kidding ourselves that we are angry with someone not because they have got a raise at work and we haven't, but because of 'their attitude towards us' or some other made up reason. Knowing what emotion you are feeling and being man or woman enough to identify the truth as to why you are feeling it means you're that much closer to doing something about it.

3) Change your mood; do something different
We tend to assume that moods just 'happen to us' and, like storms, the best we can do is wait until they pass. But, unlike climatic storms, we can influence - even change - our moods without resorting to unhealthy means such as alcohol or drugs. Being able to manage and influence your own emotions is a powerful marker for good health, emotional maturity, and happiness.

One way to alter your mood is to instantly do something else. For example, if you feel flat and bored, continuing to watch uninteresting TV will deepen the mood. Switching it off and going for a walk in a new neighbourhood will inevitably change your mood. If you feel cross, consciously focus on three things in your life for which you can feel grateful. If you are anxious, start to imagine that what you are anxious about has already happened and gone much better than expected.

The important thing is just to do or think something different. Don't be passively carried along by the current of the mood. The quickest way to do this may be to simply imagine not feeling the way you are feeling. So if I'm feeling hacked off, I might close my eyes and take a few moments to strongly imagine feeling relaxed and comfortable and even in a good mood. This will, at the very least, neutralize the bad mood and may even put you in a good mood.

4) Observe how others deal effectively with their emotions
We can learn so much from other people (as long as we look to the right people to learn from!).

How do other 'emotionally skilled' people deal with their frustrations and difficulties? You could even ask them: "How do you keep so cool when you're presenting to all these people? Why doesn't that make you angry? How do you keep smiling after such setbacks?"

Their answers could actually change your life if you start to apply what you learn.

5) Change your physiology
Some people assume that emotions are 'all in your head', whereas actually all emotions are physical responses. Anger pushes heart rate and blood pressure up, which is why having an angry temperament is a predictor of heart disease (2); anxiety produces lots of physical changes; and even depression suppresses the immune system (3).

So part of changing your emotional state involves dealing directly with the physical changes. Physical changes are led by the way we breathe. For instance, anger and anxiety can only 'work' if we are breathing quicker with shallow breaths. Take time to:

Stop breathing for five seconds (to 'reset' your breath).
Now breathe in slowly, focussing on your diaphragm, until your lungs are full of air.
Then breathe out even more slowly (and whilst doing this, imagine that you are breathing pure rest and relaxation into your hands).
Keep doing this and remember it's the out-breath that will calm everything down.
6) Use your noggin
Think of emotion as a strong but stupid being that sometimes needs your guidance and direction. We need some emotion to motivate us, but it needs to be the right emotion at the right time applied in the right way. The more emotional we become, the stupider we become (4). This is because emotions want us to react blindly and physically rather than to think or be objective and rational.

Being objective and rational when a lion was attacking wouldn't have been great from an evolutionary point of view - because it would have slowed us down. But much of modern life needs measured calm thought rather than blind and sloppy emotional responses.

If you force the thinking part of your brain to work when you start to feel emotional, then you can dilute and subdue the rampaging emotional part. You can do this by simply forcing yourself to remember three names of other students you went to school with or even running through the alphabet in your head. Try it - because it really will work.

7) Create spare capacity in your life
We experience counterproductive emotions for different reasons. Maybe we have never learnt to control ourselves or perhaps we are living in such a way that makes it more likely we'll experience emotional problems.

Every organism, from amoeba to antelope and from bluebell flower to blue whale, has needs. And so do you. If these needs aren't met, then the organism will suffer. You have very basic needs for food, sleep, shelter, and water; if these needs aren't met properly, you will feel more emotional - no doubt. But you also have emotional needs.

To be emotionally healthy, a person needs to:

Feel safe and secure; feel they have safe territory.
Regularly give and receive quality attention.
Feel a sense of influence and control over their life.
Feel part of a wider community.
Enjoy friendship, fun, love, and intimacy with significant people.
Feel a sense of status; basically, feel they have a recognizable role in life. This also connects to a sense of competence and achievement.
Feel stretched but not stressed to avoid stagnation, boredom, and to enhance self-esteem and a sense of status in life.
When these are met adequately, we then feel our life has meaning and purpose.
Not meeting basic needs leaves us feeling that life is pointless and meaningless and will leave us wide open to emotional problems.

When you live in a way that, to some extent, meets all or most of the above needs, then you'll enjoy greater emotional stability and control. Knowing what you need in life is the first step to creating 'spare capacity' to focus beyond your emotions. And you can see how not meeting the need for feeling secure or getting enough attention or feeling connected to people around you could cause you emotional problems. Really think about these needs and gradually pursue activities that are likely to help you fulfil them.

In this way, you'll begin to feed the right tiger with the right amount of the right foods.

George S
04-11-16, 07:15 PM
Are communication difficulties commonly a part of ADHD-PI? I've had a hard time talking to people my whole life. They sense it and lose interest before I finish what I am clumsily trying to say and move on to something more interesting. It hurts. And it really hacks me off! I don't care how dull I am or how banal what I'm saying might be. Nobody has the right to treat another human being that way! It happened yesterday and I'm still ****ed. If I'm not angry with someone else for dissing me I'm angry at myself for being so "disordered." I'm 58 years old and was just diagnosed last summer. Been dealing (or not dealing) with this for a lo-o-ong time and the rage that goes with it.

NateDEEzy
04-11-16, 09:26 PM
Yep, that's me too. I have a really hard time stringing sentences together most of the time. Only thing that helped me a lot was "medical" marijuana (but only a very small amount- like a single medium to small hit). If you're in a legal state, at your age I'd definitely say try it. Brings an incredible increase in quality of life. What it did for me was made conversation easy, and made short term retention possible. I can't read a page from a book and remember what I just read, but while high, I could not only recall what I read PAGES ago, but I also understood what the author was trying to convey while writing it- it's hard to explain that part, but it's like I could tap into the writing in a much deeper way. Incredible plant. It's like life was alive and finally made sense- like I understood what others could. Again, hard to explain. It causes gynecomastia with me though so I stopped unfortunately. The only other thing that helped me was the book "the seven spiritual laws of success" by Deepak Chopra. I'm obviously not in it anymore but I literally felt bliss after reading it. It wasn't that my ADD symptoms went away- still struggled with the same reading issues, but I felt such love and bliss that it didn't matter. Reminded me of the euphoria of being high, but it was just constatnly there in varying intensities. Couldn't recommend either enough. Of course I'm not a doctor and ask a doctor first bc this is a crazy world and I don't know what the liability of suggesting a plant to someone can be.

Cyllya
04-11-16, 09:53 PM
There are two main situations where I sometimes feel rage very badly:

Firstly, if I'm trying to work on something that requires sustained attention, working memory, thinking, and all those other things ADHD-PI makes you bad at, any interruptions kind of tick me off. It's like the cognitive equivalent of trying to juggle some balls and then some jerk comes along and slaps a ball out of the air right before you catch it. Ugh!

My main cause of rage is overstimulation. I used to think I had anger issues, until I understood sensory issues. This is something that affects a lot of kids, but most adults stop having a serious problem with it. The deal is that pretty much any sensory input that you don't have control of (smells, sounds, riding in a car, things touching you) will just slowly pile up. The individual sensations don't have to be that bad; they might even be pleasant. Next thing you know, you're attacking your family members because they're talking too loud. It is very common for ADHD people to have sensory issues, although this sort of problem deals more with hypersensitivity, and I get the impression hyposensitivity is more common in ADHD.

Gilthranon
04-11-16, 11:11 PM
Interesting theory. I could see how rage would be the consequence of people blaming for symptoms, but being inattentive (I am half, considering combined, and I confirm) there's a lack of reaction therefor accumulation.

Had it yesterday. Being distracted missed half the conversation with someone. Later on he got angry at me for missing details to which I got upset and told he I informed him about my impairments. He wouldn't listen. The basterd.

During my childhood any criticism would pass unanswered from my side. Just because my brain wouldn't answer.

But I felt every bit of it, raging inside.

NateDEEzy
04-12-16, 09:38 AM
During my childhood any criticism would pass unanswered from my side. Just because my brain wouldn't answer.

But I felt every bit of it, raging inside.

Wow, this is spot on!

George S
04-12-16, 03:25 PM
Well NateDEEzy, thanks for the reply. Interesting thoughts on the use of marijuana to enhance attention. It would be easy for me to give it a try. I live in a small to medium size town in Washington State where recreational marijuana is legal. There are, I think, three pot shops here now. Let me tell you, it is kind of mind-blowing for an old (former) toker like me to drive down the main drag and see a store called "The Joint" with a big marijuana leaf on the sign. I've always thought there were legitimate therapeutic uses for marijuana. My wife does not agree. Anyway, while marijuana may be a useful aid to some folks, it would not be a good option for me. I spent 30 years floundering from one addiction to another, one of which was pot. And so as not to wander too far from the subject of rage, my worst raging ever, I did under the influence. Nine years sober and no way am I going to jeopaedize that. I still believe pot can be used therapeutically. But not by me.

NateDEEzy
04-12-16, 08:57 PM
Well NateDEEzy, thanks for the reply. Interesting thoughts on the use of marijuana to enhance attention. It would be easy for me to give it a try. I live in a small to medium size town in Washington State where recreational marijuana is legal. There are, I think, three pot shops here now. Let me tell you, it is kind of mind-blowing for an old (former) toker like me to drive down the main drag and see a store called "The Joint" with a big marijuana leaf on the sign. I've always thought there were legitimate therapeutic uses for marijuana. My wife does not agree. Anyway, while marijuana may be a useful aid to some folks, it would not be a good option for me. I spent 30 years floundering from one addiction to another, one of which was pot. And so as not to wander too far from the subject of rage, my worst raging ever, I did under the influence. Nine years sober and no way am I going to jeopaedize that. I still believe pot can be used therapeutically. But not by me.

Definitely understand that. You should look onto either CBD oil or, what I think would be better would be an extremely low THC, very high CBD strain like Charlotte's web. I haven't tried it, but I think it wouldn't give you a high or if it did, it would be very minimal ( probably less than any effect you'd notice from a pharmaceutical medicine). Speaking of, out of curiosity, if you're unwilling to try marijuana, would you be willing to use pharmaceuticals? Not judging, but if so, how do you rationalize that thought process? I understand you have a past of addiction, but I'd at least look into modern options available. At the very least, I'd try CBD oil, bc there's no high with that at all, the high comes from THC. But make sure you research BC most of what's out there isn't good oil

sarahsweets
04-13-16, 05:25 AM
Definitely understand that. You should look onto either CBD oil or, what I think would be better would be an extremely low THC, very high CBD strain like Charlotte's web. I haven't tried it, but I think it wouldn't give you a high or if it did, it would be very minimal ( probably less than any effect you'd notice from a pharmaceutical medicine).
Which pharmaceutical medicine are you comparing pot to?

Speaking of, out of curiosity, if you're unwilling to try marijuana, would you be willing to use pharmaceuticals? Not judging, but if so, how do you rationalize that thought process?
I dont understand what you mean? Are you referring to stimulants or antidepressants or something else?


I understand you have a past of addiction, but I'd at least look into modern options available. At the very least, I'd try CBD oil, bc there's no high with that at all, the high comes from THC. But make sure you research BC most of what's out there isn't good oil
How is THC considered a modern treatment for adhd? What is the evidence supporting this?

NateDEEzy
04-13-16, 08:13 PM
Comparing to stimulants mostly, BC that's the most common treatment for ADHD.

Personal experience as well as other testimonies I've seen where has helped tremendously with neurological disorders.

You seem against cannabis as a treatment. Do you not believe there's been a war against it for the personal gain of few? It's schedule 1, meaning it has no medical value, but just YouTube cerebral palsy or seizure or MS and marijuana and you'll see just how many ppl it helps. We've been sold a bill of lies when it comes to the medical industry and marijuana. In fact marijuana isn't even its real name, it's a slang word created to link it to Mexicans. Its real name is cannabis, but everyone calls it marijuana, which just skews how deeply we're influenced by the spread of misinformation. A scientific study isnt gonna change anything about how cannabis works, it's just gonna make ppl feel better about it being prescribed.

sarahsweets
04-14-16, 05:14 AM
You seem against cannabis as a treatment. Do you not believe there's been a war against it for the personal gain of few? It's schedule 1, meaning it has no medical value, but just YouTube cerebral palsy or seizure or MS and marijuana and you'll see just how many ppl it helps. We've been sold a bill of lies when it comes to the medical industry and marijuana. In fact marijuana isn't even its real name, it's a slang word created to link it to Mexicans. Its real name is cannabis, but everyone calls it marijuana, which just skews how deeply we're influenced by the spread of misinformation. A scientific study isnt gonna change anything about how cannabis works, it's just gonna make ppl feel better about it being prescribed.
I dont know what made you think I had an issue with cannabis. I asked you a couple of questions because I want to know.
I can comment on the war on drugs type stuff because it goes against political guidelines. Personally I think it should be legal for people to use how they see fit. How doers cannabis treat adhd?

BellaVita
04-14-16, 05:19 AM
I used to have rage for hours as a child. I was put on different medications. And went through therapy.

Now I realize they were massive meltdowns as a result of being in an abusive environment.

Funny, now that I'm out of that environment...no more rage! :rolleyes:

George S
04-14-16, 07:27 PM
Speaking of, out of curiosity, if you're unwilling to try marijuana, would you be willing to use pharmaceuticals? Not judging, but if so, how do you rationalize that thought process? I understand you have a past of addiction, but I'd at least look into modern options available.*

Oh I've definitely "tried" marijuana - day after day for years - until it just wasn't fun anymore and I moved on to something else. As an addict I can't afford to rationalize using a drug "for medicinal use only" that I've abused in the past. I take Adderall now and it works. There was some concern at first by my p-doc, my wife, and me about the potential for abuse. That hasn't been an issue since, because I have ADHD, I don't get any "high" from it at all. I really don't feel anything when I take it except happiness and amazement that I can concentrate on a task long enough to finish it. I don't have any objections to drugs. What I do object to is using them destructively or for the wrong reasons. But I digress. Actually we're both divressing from the subject of this thread, which is rage.

I used to have rage for hours as a child.*

BellaVita, some of my earliest and most painful memories as a child are of rage - mine and my dad's. Getting out of the situation, unfortunately did not rid me of my rage. It's unfortunate for my kids too because all too frequently I took it out on them. Very sad. I'd love to go back and fix it, but of course I can't. I just have to do what we all have to do - the next thing.

peripatetic
04-15-16, 12:19 AM
moderator note

this thread is now closed for review. if you have questions, feel free to address them via private message to section moderators, our administrators (andi and andrew). i'm also happy to forward correspondence to the most appropriate person to reply.

in the meantime, here's a link to the forum guidelines: http://www.addforums.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=75