View Full Version : Rewards


ADHDWife&Mom
04-10-16, 04:15 PM
What do you use for rewards with your ADHD kids? Ive been doing a lot of reading and many of the plans for keeping kids on track is to give them rewards.
Id prefer non food rewards, especially since most ADHD kids dont need extra sugar and artificial colors. Id love to know your ideas. Thanks in advance

ginniebean
04-10-16, 08:19 PM
Sugar has no impact on adhd, too many studies have been done refuting this folk wisdom. Praise is your best tool!

ADHDWife&Mom
04-11-16, 08:44 PM
Sugar has no impact on adhd, too many studies have been done refuting this folk wisdom. Praise is your best tool!

Thanks. You are right, Im not sure what I was thinking. Arent the artificial colors an issue though?
Id love for praise to work but im not sure if it will at the beginning. My son is at an age where he isnt all that happy about making us happy anymore. I think if he were a bit younger it might have worked but at 10 he seems to expect more.

sarahsweets
04-18-16, 05:11 AM
Thanks. You are right, Im not sure what I was thinking. Arent the artificial colors an issue though?
Id love for praise to work but im not sure if it will at the beginning. My son is at an age where he isnt all that happy about making us happy anymore. I think if he were a bit younger it might have worked but at 10 he seems to expect more.

There are always new theories about dyes, additives and food coloring. They are best avoided by all, not just people with adhd.
Your son my seem like he is beyond pleasing his parents but thats a facade. He is going to base his self worth on how others, especially his parents, see him. Thats just a fact, The trick is to get him not to worry about what most people think of him and value what he thinks of himself. That will always start in the home. As our kids' personalities and self esteem forms, they only have their parents to base their behavior, intentions and self worth on. Praise helps them understand that they are worth it. That will carry over to real life when he wont have to worry about what others think of him because you have helped him build a good foundation. In this society we get so wrapped up in rewards being 'things' or 'stuff' that we think that simple praise will not do. It might seem that way on the outside but on the inside is where it counts.

BellaVita
04-18-16, 06:11 AM
I would earn gold star stickers daily (they were put on a wall chart) if I did my chores and did the things I was supposed to do. (As a young child, it stopped before I was a teen) And I remember my favorite thing to "earn" was a banana split. (I also got that if I read enough books)

mildadhd
04-18-16, 02:48 PM
What do you use for rewards with your ADHD kids? Ive been doing a lot of reading and many of the plans for keeping kids on track is to give them rewards.
Id prefer non food rewards, especially since most ADHD kids dont need extra sugar and artificial colors. Id love to know your ideas. Thanks in advance

I think the best type of rewards for adhd are emotional.

Dr. Barkley recommends sipping Gatorade (not gulping), although I think he recommends sipping only a little bit of Gatorade only while blood sugar level is to low. (something to do with self regulation and blood sugar)(to high blood sugar levels also influence self regulation)

People with ADHD have hypersensitive temperament which makes allergies and blood sugar level issues more likely for some of us.

During the teen years teens are naturally developing their own independence. Which does require caregivers to take a different parenting angle.

Dr. Mate has some great perspectives on parenting teens with ADHD, that I personally found really helpful.


m

Lunacie
04-18-16, 04:29 PM
Thanks. You are right, Im not sure what I was thinking. Arent the artificial colors an issue though?
Id love for praise to work but im not sure if it will at the beginning. My son is at an age where he isnt all that happy about making us happy anymore. I think if he were a bit younger it might have worked but at 10 he seems to expect more.

When my grandkids were younger I was able to use techniques from the Love and Logic books.

Google 'Love and Logic' and you can read some articles on the site. I was able to check out the books at my local library.

ADHDWife&Mom
04-18-16, 04:35 PM
Thanks everyone, this is very helpful. My son is my oldest so I am still trying to figure out not only the ADHD thing but also just parenting an older child in general.

Shamindo
06-11-16, 12:01 AM
How old is your son? If my boys behave and eat dinner well I reward them with a walk after dinner. Haha it's pretty funny really, but they both love going for a 20-30 minute walk around the block after dinner. My oldest takes his bike sometimes. We usually have some kind of destination. My son really likes living up to expectations placed on him. So if I know he won't have a problem doing something I will Say something like "Olen please make your bed now" (knowing it's not a challenge and he enjoys it) and then saying giving him the reward of recognition. They like to know you are proud...but if your gushing it out all the time it means nothing. So I give him plenty of opportunity to prove himself and he likes it cause I acknowledge his effort afterward. I generally don't reward with food. To me, food should be left as food. Another thing is I read to him everynight, but if he's tried really hard to control himself on a day where his emotions are getting the best of him, I will reward him with a card game before story at bed time. I give him these rewards on days he is his most restless. Don't get me wrong, I let him know his behaviour is not acceptable, but I also give him strategies (For example, ok Olen I think maybe a bath would help you settle) and if he agrees to use them instead of fighting me I will give the card gaime. I make a point of discussing with him that Though he had a really hard time controlling himself and I may have gotten angry, he did also try very hard to regulate himself by listening to me.

ADHDWife&Mom
06-11-16, 04:11 PM
How old is your son? If my boys behave and eat dinner well I reward them with a walk after dinner. Haha it's pretty funny really, but they both love going for a 20-30 minute walk around the block after dinner. My oldest takes his bike sometimes. We usually have some kind of destination. My son really likes living up to expectations placed on him. So if I know he won't have a problem doing something I will Say something like "Olen please make your bed now" (knowing it's not a challenge and he enjoys it) and then saying giving him the reward of recognition. They like to know you are proud...but if your gushing it out all the time it means nothing. So I give him plenty of opportunity to prove himself and he likes it cause I acknowledge his effort afterward. I generally don't reward with food. To me, food should be left as food. Another thing is I read to him everynight, but if he's tried really hard to control himself on a day where his emotions are getting the best of him, I will reward him with a card game before story at bed time. I give him these rewards on days he is his most restless. Don't get me wrong, I let him know his behaviour is not acceptable, but I also give him strategies (For example, ok Olen I think maybe a bath would help you settle) and if he agrees to use them instead of fighting me I will give the card gaime. I make a point of discussing with him that Though he had a really hard time controlling himself and I may have gotten angry, he did also try very hard to regulate himself by listening to me.

Thank you for your response, it is very helpful advice.
My son is newly 10. I think these ideas of special activities would be most helpful for my son as well. I dont like the idea of food rewards, I feel like it is setting him up for future eating issues. I dont know if the walk will work for him, we do this sometimes and he often complains about it. I might consider a bike ride instead though, he would probably prefer that. The card game idea also sounds good. We do read most nights but I kind of feel like Im doing that wrong as a rewards system. It ends up more like a punishment. I try to read to him each night unless he is so much trouble that I just cant handle him staying up any later and reading to him. So its sort of a reward for doing well but more like a punishment for doing badly when he doesnt get it. Maybe I need to stop making it an every night thing and turn it into a reward where he knows we'll be making the decision each night so that he knows its something special when he gets it for doing well.

acdc01
06-14-16, 08:02 PM
I don't have any kids so this may sound crazy. But I don't like the idea of rewards and punishments at all (beyond praise). I'm afraid it can make some kids feel like losers, especially if their siblings end up getting way more rewards than them.

Instead, to me our ADHD just makes it hard for us to do things so what we (both the parents and kids) need to do is figure out a way to make what's hard to do (i.e. eating stuff we don't like eating but is healthy for us), easier. So maybe tell the kids we know certain things are hard to do and that even we have difficulties doing those things. Then ask him, what do you think would make it easier for you to do those things? If he suggests all these things that are bad for him, let him down easy, oh no that wouldn't work cause so and so. Or good idea, lets try that but only this much cause too much would cause so and so problems. Then suggest some ideas and see what he thinks?

The ideas can actually be the same as "rewards" but not thought of as reward. Like my toddle niece really likes fruit which is healthy for her. So when she's with me, she takes one bite of her fruit and then one bite of her main meal. We say it's always just one bite, then just one bite more little by little when she's really having a hard time.

I also am using the zoodle maker now to make vegetables more fun when she visits. She likes watching me make the spirals and then she likes eating them. Seems when I get her involved in preparing the meal in some way too (like making sandwiches), she eats them easier too.

In general, I don't like thinking in terms of rewards and punishments but rather, just what makes things easier/more fun.