What do you think it is specifically that causes us to put ourselves on the outside...like watching life from outside an invisible line. I never really knew until recently how to articulate that feeling of being an outsider in every area of life? For me, I think low self esteem is the conduit but there is something else at the root of this feeling? Perhaps it is what I've been reading all over the place in here about alienating everyone we come in contact with either by being too direct, blunt, or interuppting, or not focusing on them? Do any of you wear your emotions on your sleeve or find yourselves being too open, too direct in too many situations? It's like not being able to discern the right time to pipe in and the right time to be quiet.

I know friendships have always been hell for me. I have a few very close friends who love me as is..and I'm grateful for them. But, even when the four of us are together, I'll put myself on the outside and they will have to draw me in. Can anyone relate to that? Perhaps I'm protecting myself for what i feel is imminent rejection or perhaps I just can't help feeling like they don't REALLY want me there....that they are tolerating me?

AND YET, 9 out of 10 times i'm the life of the party because i am very quick witted. But, I can also be introverted and cold if the situation doesn't suit me or the conversation doesn't interest me.

As a matter of fact, as I'm writing this and getting ready to open my first thread, the thoughts going through my mind are...people might not open your thread or respond to you because you are an outsider even in this forum.

Ironically, to see me and watch me, you'd never know my self esteem has been so badly beaten that I'd feel that way, even here.

What do you think it is specifically that causes us to put ourselves on the outside...like watching life from outside an invisible line. I never really knew until recently how to articulate that feeling of being an outsider in every area of life? I can totally relate to this. I've always felt like I was on the outside looking it. As a child I was painfully shy. I've mostly outgrown it but it still strikes at times. I don't really understand where it comes from either.

Perhaps I'm protecting myself for what i feel is imminent rejection or perhaps I just can't help feeling like they don't REALLY want me there....that they are tolerating me?
This really does seem like self-esteem problems but I've been the same way since I was very young.

As a matter of fact, as I'm writing this and getting ready to open my first thread, the thoughts going through my mind are...people might not open your thread or respond to you because you are an outsider even in this forum.

Ironically, to see me and watch me, you'd never know my self esteem has been so badly beaten that I'd feel that way, even here. That's why I mostly read and rarely post in internet forums.

Cheers,
Kristian

Don't sweat the small stuff...and welcome with your first post. We are outsiders because the hyper ones are rejected and the spacey ones are neglected. We are outsiders because we can't get a great read on what is expected of us and how to respond, and finally we are different and we preceive this as do others.

Self esteem? You are the judge of yourself. I don't give a rats *** of what anyone else thinks of me. If you do the right thing, people will be attracted to you anyways. And thats just it, if you're happy with what your doing with your life then there are less self esteem issues. "To they own self be true".

Hi hopeful..

I like your name. From one insider to another insider...hello, I love your thread :)

The most shy and the biggest life of the party, here, only not ever at the same time. Self esteem takes a beat'n when you are always tripping and stumbling outside and all around your boundaries.

When I was in third grade, the teacher put a sign on my desk "don't talk to her"
Do you have a magic marker? Because I still need that stink'n sign.

While we are making signs,how about....

"speak up, so someone can understand her"

"slow down, she's speeding"

"wake her up"

"like her"

"watch her"

"don''t break her"

If she wears a sign, will the world notice?
I don't know the answer as to why we put ourselves out there, unless outsiders just are not able to read the signs.

>>>.Self esteem? You are the judge of yourself. I don't give a rats *** of what anyone else thinks of me. If you do the right thing, people will be attracted to you anyways. And thats just it, if you're happy with what your doing with your life then there are less self esteem issues. "To they own self be true".<<<<<<<<quote:Scuro

Flying rats *** is one of my favorite expressions.
Can that be one of my signs?
I think I've been going out the in door.

That sign..."don't talk to her"...ya gotta laugh at that one....teachers geesh. My sister in law had to get up in front of her whole class and say that she was stupid. The teacher prompted her...come on say your stupid...

Kids think they have it rough now. lmao

THANKS for the responses :)...SEE now I just have to apply this to everyday life and not be afraid to go and do something or to participate for fear of rejection. I was thinking that what I have done also is made allowances for people...like...I work with this woman whom I've known for about 15 years. She is the queen of negotiating for herself. I actually joke with her that even though I am her "boss" I am going to hire her as an adjunct next time I need to ask for anything from my higher ups...it's funny how you could say she is somewhat short on talent but major in striking sweet deals for herself. I don't fault her a bit...good for her for having the kahunas to do that!