View Full Version : Goals in relationships

Free to Fly
04-19-16, 11:35 PM
Have any of you used a particular goal setting strategy in your relationship? Did you use a purchased system or make one up? Thanks in advance.

04-20-16, 01:24 AM
Yessss ! Love

Sorry my social life is purposefully as simple as can be. But I'm not exactly the king of relationships with the extend of my longest was two months. But those were very romantic months.

04-20-16, 01:54 AM
I have two responses, a half-joking one and a serious one.

The half-joking one (but only half): What does the word "goal" mean?

The serious one: What kinds of goals are you talking about?

04-20-16, 04:26 AM
Do you mean as in an end result?

04-20-16, 07:38 PM
Other than those of John M. Gottman, no.


04-20-16, 11:05 PM
What do you mean by a purchased system? You can purchase something that tells you what goals to set in your personal relationships?

Free to Fly
04-28-16, 12:53 AM
Sorry haven't been slammed. Will try to clarify soon...

04-28-16, 08:31 AM
I'm always setting goals for myself; things I want to change. They are largely things that will help my marriage or make me a better dad, but it's for me that I'm making those changes.

My wife is incredibly supportive, and sometimes my goals are driven by where she would most appreciate help and support. She's also great to help me strategize.

My personal feeling is that we don't need formal goals in our relationships; we just need open and compassionate communication.

04-28-16, 09:33 AM
Sometimes we overthink things.
IMO Goals in a relationship:
Loving yourself
not trying to change your partner, realizing you can only change yourself.

04-28-16, 12:49 PM
I have goals in terms of things to do in next relationship.

For me it's stop wasting my time dating the same type of person over and over again.. All seem to have the same core values and behaviors. Working to change that since the ones I seem drawn to are the ones I shouldn't be.

Also this pertains to me in any form of relationship is know your worth

Free to Fly
05-28-16, 08:16 PM
Goals along the lines of building a life together. May be too late now. Just getting tired from trying to hit a moving target. I have looked at and printed out Gottmans 4 Horseman. Wish I had known about that sort of stuff years ago. Rambling here, but I am just tired. Tired of being reasonable patient and persistent. I am a contradiction, I can work with anyone, enjoy social interaction, can instruct one on one, or to large groups, and if asked what I would like to do when I retire, I just want to be left alone.

05-28-16, 08:48 PM
What does the word "goal" mean?

Totally seriously, I really try to get an idea of that.

The other thing on this issue that I'm trying to get an idea about: What does 'social relationships' mean?

05-28-16, 09:39 PM
There is no goal.
Play soccer instead.

Little Nut
05-28-16, 09:41 PM
Annual Performance Reviews
Hands On Evaluation

05-29-16, 12:14 AM
Yes. Goals.

Understand that he is not me and I am not him. We each have our own needs. Strengths. Weaknesses.

I can not expect him to magically understand what I need/want. I must articulate that to him. I must also articulate to him that I really, truly do care about what he needs/wants.

Free to Fly
06-15-16, 10:01 PM
Room-mates now. Sad, but not sad. So tired of all the work going down the drain. Rambling a bit here, due to meds. Dealing with some temp injuries, and slight loss of income. Will try to fake it for a bit longer. Choose well, or suffer. crud.

06-19-16, 06:29 AM
Goals in relationships

Not to end with a mortal enemy who plans better than I can which would not be hard to do.

Good personal boundaries is a goal but with friendships I am good with that it is the relationships of an intimate kind I struggle with from time to time.

I try to be decent enough company to not have to pay for companionship

Am I getting any where near the topic?

I feel like I am throwing bee-bees at a bull and wondering why it refuses to fall over :o

Free to Fly
06-19-16, 12:17 PM
Not to end with a mortal enemy who plans better than I can which would not be hard to do. (I was told almost that exact line last night.....really....I can do evil, choose not to, and I sure as h*** wouldn't tell you it was coming)

Good personal boundaries is a goal (I forget that all the time)

Am I getting any where near the topic? (yes)

I feel like I am throwing bee-bees at a bull and wondering why it refuses to fall over :o (Gotta remember that one)

Good response, tkx.