View Full Version : I'm a misanthropist, I hate being around people, feel happy being around less people


baical
05-02-16, 01:31 AM
And no, I'm not asking for "help" but more of a mutual understanding from like-minded misanthropists.

How do you "cope" with wanting to pummel puny individuals but you know you can't (or should I say, "shouldn't")? Is visualizing their uneventful demises a good exercise? Is this a form of mindfulness as to avoid confrontational situations with the little minded oppositions?

I usually pretend I didn't hear any of the trash talks they do as I'm focused with my ADHDness. I also like to play stupid as to not offend anyone should they feel I might be taking over their "position" should their egos feel another individual (I) is in a better position (whether social or professional, etc.).

Any advice?

sarahsweets
05-02-16, 04:50 AM
I guess I just dont get that angry. I am more of a people person anyhow.

Little Missy
05-02-16, 06:55 AM
Have you always felt that way about people?

Fuzzy12
05-02-16, 07:58 AM
I don't hate people and don't wish anyone ill. I do hate very often being around people.

Gilthranon
05-02-16, 08:03 AM
Alright good for you if you know what makes you happy

Don't let anyone tell you any different

People person myself. But I can relate, sometimes find some so intolerable I just walk away if I can

Fantasize away mate, it's important not to block yourself, hell draw it or sing it, enjoy it, cause you can !

Little Missy
05-02-16, 08:07 AM
I don't hate people and don't wish anyone ill. I do hate very often being around people.

Yep. Me too.

Unmanagable
05-02-16, 09:05 AM
I've learned if I feel ill will towards self or others, even just in thought, it boomerangs and bites me in the a** every time.

I view what you described as a form of mind-full-ness vs. mindfulness. The mind is too full of trying to figure out, or even take out others while you're keeping your mind space busy judging them as somehow being beneath you vs. being mindful of what can bring a more healthful and calm peace to your be-ing.

I have a hard time being in the presence of certain energies and have learned just because an individual demonstrates one thing in one moment doesn't mean that's truly who they are at all times.

I've happened upon people who I can't stand to be around in the moment, only to find them very intriguing and quite delightful at other times. But if it feels like an act just to impress, I can't hang, I have to release and remove myself from their space.

Sometimes, it's more because of my own issues than it is because of anything they may be doing. They may simply be reflecting behaviors I deeply recognize and dislike within myself.

It's all about the energy of the moment for me, and trying to get better at recognizing and releasing the roots of my own stuff.

Little Nut
05-02-16, 09:28 AM
And no, I'm not asking for "help" but more of a mutual understanding from like-minded misanthropists.

How do you "cope" with wanting to pummel puny individuals but you know you can't (or should I say, "shouldn't")? Is visualizing their uneventful demises a good exercise? Is this a form of mindfulness as to avoid confrontational situations with the little minded oppositions?

I usually pretend I didn't hear any of the trash talks they do as I'm focused with my ADHDness. I also like to play stupid as to not offend anyone should they feel I might be taking over their "position" should their egos feel another individual (I) is in a better position (whether social or professional, etc.).

Any advice?

I usually filter based on whether I think my posts are helpful or interesting to others. Filter seems to be a wee bit broken last cupla days and I find myself dumping random thoughts into a post.

Using just the info in your post and looking at the extremes with an eye toward the truth is in the middle somewhere.

So let's say your self revelations are accurate. "pummel the puny", the "little-minded opposition". Your actual response is to "play stupid as to not offend" to avoid exposing yourself as their "better". So you've been gifted with exceptional intelligence compared to most others. Your response to exposure to the less fortunate (wrt intelligence) is to get upset/irritated. You mentally disengage with the less fortunate when interacting. You're squandering your gift. It is as if you are able to keep warm in the snow because you were given shelter and a fire. When confronted by a person that is freezing, instead of sharing your shelter and fire, you shoo them away and slam the door. Maybe a better course would be to help the ignorant and less intelligent which costs you nothing?

So let's say your self revelations aren't accurate. You actually believe the characterizations to be true, but they are a self-delusion, Likely a protection mechanism, but whatever. You avoid engaging with other people for some unknown reason, but you tell yourself it is because it is a waste of your valuable time. The reality is that is because you are afraid of others to get to know the real you. (I don't know why.)

So lets assume the reality is likely somewhere between these 2 extremes. Let's say you believe (probably hope) you are brighter than most of the people around you, but you need to validate this to yourself periodically. So you could find a place where a bunch of touchy-feely types hang out and throw out a tale of insensitivity and watch all the ants scurry around spending all their time with messages of consolation.

So Baical, where do you "really" think the truth lies?

baical
05-03-16, 04:27 AM
What you said isn't even close to what I'm trying to say, you may have paraphrased it to make it sound as if it's what you think I'm trying to say so you can satisfy your own "intelligence" (i.e. what you think you know, what you think I'm trying to say) as a form of "protection mechanism" as you say (you seem to know your stuff). Your rendition of my topic isn't what you were hoping I was trying to point out. I could have just said, some people suck, I'm not sure about the others, but boy, I sure would like to slap the ones that deserve it.

Your tone is snarky. You're thinking too much about me.

I usually filter based on whether I think my posts are helpful or interesting to others. Filter seems to be a wee bit broken last cupla days and I find myself dumping random thoughts into a post.

Using just the info in your post and looking at the extremes with an eye toward the truth is in the middle somewhere.

So let's say your self revelations are accurate. "pummel the puny", the "little-minded opposition". Your actual response is to "play stupid as to not offend" to avoid exposing yourself as their "better". So you've been gifted with exceptional intelligence compared to most others. Your response to exposure to the less fortunate (wrt intelligence) is to get upset/irritated. You mentally disengage with the less fortunate when interacting. You're squandering your gift. It is as if you are able to keep warm in the snow because you were given shelter and a fire. When confronted by a person that is freezing, instead of sharing your shelter and fire, you shoo them away and slam the door. Maybe a better course would be to help the ignorant and less intelligent which costs you nothing?

So let's say your self revelations aren't accurate. You actually believe the characterizations to be true, but they are a self-delusion, Likely a protection mechanism, but whatever. You avoid engaging with other people for some unknown reason, but you tell yourself it is because it is a waste of your valuable time. The reality is that is because you are afraid of others to get to know the real you. (I don't know why.)

So lets assume the reality is likely somewhere between these 2 extremes. Let's say you believe (probably hope) you are brighter than most of the people around you, but you need to validate this to yourself periodically. So you could find a place where a bunch of touchy-feely types hang out and throw out a tale of insensitivity and watch all the ants scurry around spending all their time with messages of consolation.

So Baical, where do you "really" think the truth lies?

baical
05-03-16, 04:37 AM
Not always, but be mindful we all have different life experiences. My opinion might be different than yours. I think the "real world" has its problems, that's all.

Have you always felt that way about people?

baical
05-03-16, 04:45 AM
I'm not angry. I used to be. I just avoid people, which I think has lessened my anger throughout the years, but there are people out there that are just a different kind of weird that it becomes personal.

People person are lonely, I'm here for you, Sarah! muah!

I guess I just dont get that angry. I am more of a people person anyhow.

sarahsweets
05-03-16, 04:51 AM
What you said isn't even close to what I'm trying to say, you may have paraphrased it to make it sound as if it's what you think I'm trying to say so you can satisfy your own "intelligence" (i.e. what you think you know, what you think I'm trying to say) as a form of "protection mechanism" as you say (you seem to know your stuff). Your rendition of my topic isn't what you were hoping I was trying to point out. I could have just said, some people suck, I'm not sure about the others, but boy, I sure would like to slap the ones that deserve it.

Your tone is snarky. You're thinking too much about me.

I didnt get that impression at all.

Cyllya
05-04-16, 03:24 AM
I can sympathize with parts of your post. I'm an introvert, which I guess is like a misanthrope but less cranky? But I used to have anger issues, so there were many times I wanted to attack people, daydreamed about attacking people, or sometimes actually did attack people. The anger issues turned out to be related mainly to hypersensitivity, so some coping skills and change of life circumstance managed to resolve most of that. (The exception was when I had some very problematic situations such as my abusive step-father. Don't need any outside causes of a bad mood to want to stab that guy to death :lol:) I still want to be on my own as much as possible, but people are swell enough in small doses. I think most people who've met me in the last couple years would be surprised to know about the past anger problems.

RE: Other people being worried you're going to take over their "position" and you have to act a certain way to appease them. That problem is so weird to me. I've seen other people (on the internet) describe something like this, not just you, but I've managed to avoid the problem personally. I have trouble even imagining it. What kinds of positions are they worried you're going to take?

Roundmouth
05-04-16, 05:40 PM
I have a problematic relation to humankind...

On one side I have a fundamental idea that we are herd animals - which I see as a positive thing. I don't think that elevated individuals is the prime power behind our civilization, but people working and playing together. Leaders can only do what we allow them to - sooner or later they'll have a shot in their neck if they try pushing us too far.

On the other side... I have serious problem with respecting many human flock behaviors. How members of society are supposed to recognize and accept their place; how harmless behaviors are punished just because they're considered weird.

Also I can become aggitated with how vague and inexact people are when analyzing the world and communicating eachother. How they generalize wrong and miss crucial details. Trying to follow really blow my fuses sometimes.

I think for me, misanthropic feelings have to do with not feeling comfortable in the hierarchy.

Lloyd_
05-07-16, 08:05 PM
How do you "cope" with wanting to pummel puny individuals but you know you can't (or should I say, "shouldn't")? Is visualizing their uneventful demises a good exercise? Is this a form of mindfulness as to avoid confrontational situations with the little minded oppositions?

I hear ya my friend. :lol:

Well, I've learned over the years to just become more detached and not give a crap but yeah I get that sick feeling in my stomach whenever I have to deal with the general population.






I usually pretend I didn't hear any of the trash talks they do as I'm focused with my ADHDness. I also like to play stupid as to not offend anyone should they feel I might be taking over their "position" should their egos feel another individual (I) is in a better position (whether social or professional, etc.).

Any advice?


As far as trash talks I guarantee those same individuals talk even more trash about each other behind their backs than they do about you considering that you're more of an introvert which keeps yourself under the radar and less of a discussion topic.

As for myself, I'm sorta messed up in the head and weird. Everyone knows it and I enjoy making them feel uncomfortable. :D

No worries brother, in the 21st century the misanthropes shall inherit the earth! :cool:

aeon
05-07-16, 09:01 PM
I think for me, misanthropic feelings have to do with not feeling comfortable in the hierarchy.

You are surely my brother from another mother. So true...

Wait, are you reading my mind? :scratch:

Humankindís lasting achievement (enslavement?), all based on a lie, built on a foundation absent Love, nourishing no one,
draining the joy of being alive, same as it ever was. :doh:


Itís an Epic Struggle,
Ian

Lloyd_
06-21-16, 06:10 PM
And no, I'm not asking for "help" but more of a mutual understanding from like-minded misanthropists.

How do you "cope" with wanting to pummel puny individuals but you know you can't (or should I say, "shouldn't")? Is visualizing their uneventful demises a good exercise? Is this a form of mindfulness as to avoid confrontational situations with the little minded oppositions?

I usually pretend I didn't hear any of the trash talks they do as I'm focused with my ADHDness. I also like to play stupid as to not offend anyone should they feel I might be taking over their "position" should their egos feel another individual (I) is in a better position (whether social or professional, etc.).

Any advice?

I was just thinking the same exact thing right now...

My experience has always been that I eventually discover the people who you thought were your friends and said nice things to you are always the ones that only told lies....

Somehow because we are socially inept that makes us the subject of ridicule among the regular crowd. We are different....otherwise there would be no focus on us.

Whether you choose to accept yourself is up to you, some people on here suffer greatly only because of their need to want to fit in with the regular crowd. Why do we feel that pain from not being accepted by people who really could care less for you? I do not understand this but I digress.

The truth is people talk trash about everybody, most people have no honor or any decency and they prove me right on this by their actions every single time and I get so sick and damn tired of hearing how it is somehow our fault for this?

Guess my only advice is to not invest your faith into most people, don't expect much and be thankful when somebody is honorable. It will make life a bit easier for you.

Lloyd_
06-21-16, 06:12 PM
Not always, but be mindful we all have different life experiences. My opinion might be different than yours. I think the "real world" has its problems, that's all.

Some people are naive tho are of good nature.

KarmanMonkey
06-22-16, 08:47 AM
Anger generally comes from a place of hurt, or being treated unfairly. Anger is an important signal to us that the status quo is unacceptable.

You can work to change the attitudes and behaviours of those you see most often in your life, find a way to accept that some people are idiots but that doesn't make them bad people, or find a different way to process the information yourself. Leaving things as they are probably won't do you any favours in the long run.

Fantasising can be a good safety valve when things risk boiling over, but it doesn't address or change the problem. Therapy can help here, as it can be a chance to challenge your ways of thinking and/or find new ways of addressing the actions of others so they don't do the things that make you angry.