View Full Version : innattentive and meds


NateDEEzy
05-04-16, 02:18 PM
To my fellow innattentives. What's your take on meds? Have they improved your life, and if so, to what degree?

I've been on the generic Adderall before but stopped bc I'd only take it once in a while and my doctor didn't feel comfortable prescribing it that way. However, I find that I'm barely hanging on right now with being able to function. I can't concentrate at work. I have taken a break from coffee and had some today and noticed I felt much more mentally clear, and had energy. Most days I'm in a haze and have no energy or mental clarity. I never want to do anything either bc I don't have the mental energy to and just feel awkward when I go places bc I don't really talk bc I have anxiety and can't seem to keep up with a conversation or make normal transitions.

I want to get on something but then I question if I'm supposed to be this way for a reason. It's it something I'm supposed to transcend and not let it effect me. Am I supposed to help people from what I've learned from it? Is it cheating to be on meds? I always wonder if there's a purpose to life and if taking meds is somehow avoiding why I'm actually here and what I'm here to learn. I'm just so torn. I wonder if anyone else feels this way.

sarahsweets
05-04-16, 02:43 PM
To my fellow innattentives. What's your take on meds? Have they improved your life, and if so, to what degree?
Im combined but I think Im allowed to comment? All of my kids are adhd. My daughters are both inattentive. The oldest did well on meds but decided that she didnt want to take them anymore.
My youngest could never tolerate meds, and we tried a lot of different ones.


I've been on the generic Adderall before but stopped bc I'd only take it once in a while and my doctor didn't feel comfortable prescribing it that way.
I dont understand this. Your adhd is always an issue, it doesnt take breaks or only happens once in awhile.

However, I find that I'm barely hanging on right now with being able to function. I can't concentrate at work. I have taken a break from coffee and had some today and noticed I felt much more mentally clear, and had energy. Most days I'm in a haze and have no energy or mental clarity. I never want to do anything either bc I don't have the mental energy to and just feel awkward when I go places bc I don't really talk bc I have anxiety and can't seem to keep up with a conversation or make normal transitions.

Well you've just answered your own question. Obviously you need meds and they worked.

I want to get on something but then I question if I'm supposed to be this way for a reason. It's it something I'm supposed to transcend and not let it effect me. Am I supposed to help people from what I've learned from it? Is it cheating to be on meds? I always wonder if there's a purpose to life and if taking meds is somehow avoiding why I'm actually here and what I'm here to learn. I'm just so torn. I wonder if anyone else feels this way.

If you want to look at your adhd as part of your destiny or fate- thats your choice. And one day when youre on the otherside you will help someone but its not cheating to take medication. Am I cheating because I take bipolar medication to correct a chemical imbalance in my brain?
Taking meds is not avoidance.If anything not taking meds IS avoidance.

NateDEEzy
05-05-16, 08:38 PM
I think it just depends how we look at it.

Like depression, IMO, is mostly self created. There's multiple reasons why I think this. People aren't born depressed. Look at how anyone who has something tragic happen to them that's irreversible responds. They almost always go through a grieving process.

For example, I wanted a documentary called happy on Netflix where a woman had her face mangled in an accident. She was once very pretty and had a nice life. But after the accident her husband left her and she had a horribly disfigured face. As a result, she said she became extremely depressed, and almost committed suicide. Take also vets who come back. Sooo many are committing suicide (somethign like 22/day).

These aren't things that the result of a chemical imbalance, yet they are depressed. What's the commonality? They now live in a reality that they don't like, bc the mind becomes a terrible place to live. Does this mean that the only solution is a pill, since their condition is no doubt chemically related?

I had an experience that changed the way I look at these things. I wasn't very depressed at the time, but I wasn't really happy either. I read the book "the seven spiritual laws of success" by deepak chopra and was in a state of perpetual bliss. Things that used to scare me, like going into public, no longer scared me, I was still in bliss. I was working retail at the time and when people would get upset with me, it didn't effect me. I embarrass easily, but when people would try to embarrass me, it didn't bother me at all. I could face situations that would be awkward for ANYONE, without fear. It was unbelievable.

The point is- yes, I still was a slow reader. But it was amazing how many of my symptoms were simply intensified by this anxiety that was no longer there. And so why I question whether or not to get on a pill is, I wonder if I'm just avoiding facing the actual purpose of my existence. Yes, I'd feel normal and much better on a pill, BUT, when that pill is gone, I am right back where I started. And so I just have the inner question of, am I avoiding learning a lesson, and therefore avoiding my real purpose for even being here?

Little Missy
05-05-16, 08:45 PM
Sometimes people get depressed when they have everything in the world.

NateDEEzy
05-05-16, 09:18 PM
Sometimes people get depressed when they have everything in the world.

Exactly. Which again makes me wonder if there's more to this life, and maybe it's the same root dysfunction- looking outside for peace and happiness.

The ADD Advisor
05-05-16, 09:22 PM
I take generic Adderall, and it makes a big difference in how productive I am throughout the day. Without it, I really struggle to focus.

After two years of "trial and error" experimentation, I finally got good results by starting my day with a 40mg dose, followed by another 20mg in the afternoon.

I had been taking 20mg three times a day, but never saw a lot of improvement until that second 20mg was in my system.

In effect, changing my dosing pattern changed my daily productivity profile. Now I am more productive from 8 to 5, instead of 1 to 9.

NateDEEzy
05-05-16, 09:31 PM
I take generic Adderall, and it makes a big difference in how productive I am throughout the day. Without it, I really struggle to focus.

After two years of "trial and error" experimentation, I finally got good results by starting my day with a 40mg dose, followed by another 20mg in the afternoon.

I had been taking 20mg three times a day, but never saw a lot of improvement until that second 20mg was in my system.

In effect, changing my dosing pattern changed my daily productivity profile. Now I am more productive from 8 to 5, instead of 1 to 9.

What do you do, or anyone do, about building a tolerance?

sarahsweets
05-06-16, 04:23 AM
For example, I wanted a documentary called happy on Netflix where a woman had her face mangled in an accident. She was once very pretty and had a nice life. But after the accident her husband left her and she had a horribly disfigured face. As a result, she said she became extremely depressed, and almost committed suicide. Take also vets who come back. Sooo many are committing suicide (somethign like 22/day).

These aren't things that the result of a chemical imbalance, yet they are depressed. What's the commonality? They now live in a reality that they don't like, bc the mind becomes a terrible place to live. Does this mean that the only solution is a pill, since their condition is no doubt chemically related?

Right but these are circumstances that caused depression, what they sometimes call 'situational depression "
Clinical depression, major depressive disorder, bipolar,etc...they are all conditions with chemical imbalances as the root cause.
The vet and the woman you mentioned would likely be suffering from PTSD-as a result of something traumatic.
In cases like this sometimes medication can help, but more often therapy does.

sarahsweets
05-06-16, 04:26 AM
What do you do, or anyone do, about building a tolerance?
People have been getting fixated on tolerance lately. Its not as big of an issue as you think it is-in fact its pretty rare that someone experiences true tolerance and even then its after being on meds a long time.

Worrying about tolerance when thinking about taking meds should be the least of your worries,. and it shouldnt prevent you from trying.

Pilgrim
05-06-16, 06:31 AM
Check out a guy called Sapolsky on u-tube he describes this really well. What you experience is real. Also the mental attitude side is just as important as the other. It is a good question though.

roflwaffle
05-07-16, 12:53 AM
What do you do, or anyone do, about building a tolerance?
In terms of the treatment, medication is only one part of the whole. If it changes, you can always try tweaking it along with everything else to get you back to where you want to be.

willow129
05-07-16, 01:10 PM
The change of dose that The ADD Advisor made wasn't from building tolerance, it was because he needed a different dosing/different timing for the medication to work. That's not an example of building tolerance.

When you read that book and it treated your anxiety, that would be a form of therapy. You learned some coping strategies. well done. They say the best treatment for ADHD is medication, therapy, and exercise. Are those strategies still working for your anxiety? You said in your OP that you feel anxious to have conversations. That can be because of your ADHD. ADHD makes it hard for me to focus on what people are saying. I remember the first time I took medication, and I was participating in this conversation that was kind of complex, I was blown away that I was able to follow what was being said and wasn't losing interest. That was a HUGE difference for me. I take Adderall and have far fewer problems with anxiety now.
If the coping strategies that you learned from that book aren't still working, it may have been something you were hyper focusing on, but there still might be some things that could be useful to treat your anxiety. However, those strategies aren't going to treat the mental fog you are experiencing.

I want to get on something but then I question if I'm supposed to be this way for a reason. It's it something I'm supposed to transcend and not let it effect me. Am I supposed to help people from what I've learned from it? Is it cheating to be on meds? I always wonder if there's a purpose to life and if taking meds is somehow avoiding why I'm actually here and what I'm here to learn. I'm just so torn. I wonder if anyone else feels this way.
This sounds a bit martyr-ish to me. I guess if that's what you want then that's what you want. But know that the struggles with work that you are experiencing are legit.

Your examples about depression, in my opinion, are irrelevant. ADHD is not self created or situational. It is not the same thing.
But on the topic of that kind of depression (situational) if those people felt that taking medication would help them build the tools they needed to cope with life the way it is for them now, that would be their choice, and also totally ok.

Something that I feel strongly about, regarding medication, is that I often come across this attitude that medication somehow "changes" kids/people, takes away some special energy they have or makes them less fun or something. (One thing with this is: if meds are making you into a zombie, they're not supposed to. If that is happening either it's the wrong dose or it's the wrong medication. Try something else.) BUT, how I feel, having dealt with untreated ADHD for 26 years, is that I NEVER felt like I was reaching my true potential. I couldn't do things I WANTED to do. I WANT to be able to focus on practicing, have a clean home, be organized. I can't do these things. I always felt like there was a successful, maybe even reliable person in there that was getting covered up, and that was because of ADHD.
This is really important: Meds do not hamper my character or my talents or creativity, they make it so that I can actually functionally access my strengths. ADHD makes it a huge struggle for me to do this. Meds don't fix everything but, using them, there is definitely an improvement.

The guilt you feel about having to take medication is not unusual, a lot of people feel this way, but understand that we are coming from a society that is really not supportive when it comes to mental health. Try to use your experiences to guide you instead of guilt. Keep track of positive and negative impact on your life and make a decision using that information.

aeon
05-07-16, 02:31 PM
To my fellow innattentives. What's your take on meds?

Total and complete unadulterated love and adoration. http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-happy093.gif

Have they improved your life, and if so, to what degree?

No, they have not, but they did make it possible for me to help myself to improve my own life.

I donít mean to sound pedantic (heaven knows I often do), but I wanted to stress how
the pill itself is just the pill. It doesnít do anything. Itís still all on you. Which is OK.

In terms of degree, I donít know if I could even begin to explain it. They are the difference
between me being lost in a melancholy fog where I am reactive and time-blind to
me being present, awake, with a plan and direction and actual movement toward goals.
Iím no longer reactive as much as I am decisive. I can tune out the irrelevant and
choose for myself what is relevant. The noise in my head is gone...there is peace, quiet...
stillness.

And for sure, there is the effect upon my mood. I have a chance to escape the clutches of
depression and feel a wide range of things, yet have none of them overwhelm me.
I have the patience to drive like a responsible person. I can read (and reply!) to long
posts. I can participate in group discussions. My social anxiety is neutered. My tolerance for
frustration is so very much higher.

In short, aspects of me are radically transformed, yet I remain my most essential self.

I've been on the generic Adderall before but stopped bc I'd only
take it once in a while and my doctor didn't feel comfortable prescribing it that way.

That makes sense. ADHD is 24/7/365 and the best results in terms of treatment efficacy
come from daily use, or so says the science and the studies.

However, I find that I'm barely hanging on right now with
being able to function. I can't concentrate at work. I have taken a break from coffee and
had some today and noticed I felt much more mentally clear, and had energy. Most days
I'm in a haze and have no energy or mental clarity. I never want to do anything either bc
I don't have the mental energy to and just feel awkward when I go places bc I don't really talk
bc I have anxiety and can't seem to keep up with a conversation or make normal transitions.

I can appreciate all of that, and I am sorry to hear you are having such difficulty.

ADHD is a profoundly-disabling disorder, affecting so many domains of life. I too barely hang on
without meds. They are the difference for me between surviving (porrly), and living...maybe even thriving.

I want to get on something but then I question if I'm supposed to be this way for a reason.

We have no way to know if there is a reason, if there is one to begin with, so I am not sure it is
worth spending time thinking about. That said, Iím not much for shoulds and supposed-tos,
as they are most often tools by which people are shamed and made to feel less than.

ADHD does that well enough on its own...you donít need to pile more on top for yourself.

Accept that you have it, and then choose to control what you can...yourself...
to live the life you want to live, to meet your own needs, as you define them for yourself.

It's it something I'm supposed to transcend and not let it effect me.

If you (or I) could have done this by our selves, we would have done it by now.

ADHD is a way to describe an aspect of who I am as a living being in this world.
I canít transcend myself with myself, but I can accept myself and grow to be my best self.

Am I supposed to help people from what I've learned from it?

Thatís for you to decide for yourself, and no one else. I value when people share of their selves,
but no one is obligated, and they know best for their selves if and when they are ready.

Is it cheating to be on meds?

Cheating at what? What rules? Who says?

Do paraplegics cheat when they use a wheelchair?
Do the nearsighted engage in dirty pool and sneaky tricks to wear glasses?

Life isnít a competition, but it is a game, and a game that is often played hard. Ultimately,
you decide the rules of the game as you want to play it. It will be hard enough as it is.

Thereís no need to judge yourself for doing what you can to live your own life as best as
possible. Love yourself, and respect and honor the fact you are in the middle of a
heroic struggle.

I always wonder if there's a purpose to life and if taking meds
is somehow avoiding why I'm actually here and what I'm here to learn. I'm just so torn.
I wonder if anyone else feels this way.

I do, but only when I am not medicated and my depression is talking **** again.

Meds are how I can see and know my purpose, and live in a way that serves that purpose.

Iíve wandered wounded and lost for too long. Thereís more to life than blue daydreaming
and hiding away from a world that seems to be overwhelming in size and scope.

Meds give me a chance to live my life, and not think it was for no reason and that I am a mistake.

Thatís priceless, and I am so grateful for the opportunity.

If meds can help you to be your best possible self, and enable you to make use of and
share your gifts, whatever their nature and number, I encourage you to do the work to see if
they could be of benefit to your well-being. Strongly, even.

This life...one chance...no do overs...no mistakes except to choose not to grow and adapt.

Help yourself to be your best self, whatever that is. Come in out of the fog. There is help.


Cheers,
Ian

Little Missy
05-07-16, 02:35 PM
Just do it before it is too late. I still have not perfected The Time Machine.

aeon
05-07-16, 02:40 PM
And so why I question whether or not to get on a pill is, I wonder if
I'm just avoiding facing the actual purpose of my existence. Yes, I'd feel normal and much
better on a pill, BUT, when that pill is gone, I am right back where I started. And so I
just have the inner question of, am I avoiding learning a lesson, and therefore avoiding
my real purpose for even being here?

Always have the question, always introspect, but know that the asking is the exercise and there
is no answer, or any number of them, as you decide them.

All other things being equal, I would rather enjoy the time I am given.

I discovered why I am here. That was after I got sober and got on the meds I needed to be well.

Your answer will be your own, but be careful not to limit your vision such that you deny yourself
your right answer, whatever that may be.

Remain open, do not judge, and see what you can find. Donít decide an answer and then not
take the journey because you think you know the path and the destination beforehand.


Cheers,
Ian

aeon
05-07-16, 02:44 PM
Exactly. Which again makes me wonder if there's more to this life,
and maybe it's the same root dysfunction- looking outside for peace and happiness.

The dysfunction, as I found for myself, was thinking there was an outside to begin with.

Peace and happiness are always present, and all that is required of me is my acceptance of them,
and willingness to be present.

That said, without my meds, I lose that wisdom and am as a blind man.


Cheers,
Ian

Donny997
05-09-16, 01:21 PM
Hey Nate,

I want to reccomend a couple books that deal with the questions laid out in your first post. Listening to Prozac and Prozac as a way of life.

Both explored the question of medication's affect on intimacy, identity, purpose, etc. You will find it very helpful but there is no answer other than the one you have formed for yourself.

It depends at how you look at the use of medication: Do you think it obscures your authentic self, or do you believe it was your authentic self that made the active decision to use society's various available enhancement technologies (i.e. meds) to enhance your own life and self.

Also, this may be taken the wrong way but I think it's wise to forget about "helping other people from your own struggles," and help out yourself first.

Lastly, taking medication is always less a conflict when you have a solid identity, career you enjoy, etc. Lets say your an accountant who truly loves his work, but is anxious much of the time and it interferes with this work. It would be less a conflict for him to take meds for the anxiety.

On the other hand, those with less clear goals and interests amd purpose in life are going to find more conflict with taking medication because you think it might be taking you off the path of what you really want to do, etc. So gettimg clear goals in life will make the deicision to take meds easier, maybe yoi wont need them afterall because more motivston is coming internslly, or maybe you will because ADD is still a neurobiological problem, regardless of whatever lifestyle you design to lessen and mute its infouence over your life.