View Full Version : How to stop a certain song from re-opening up the trauma?


midnightstar
05-07-16, 01:31 PM
There's a certain song that I still cannot listen to years after the event that I associate it with because that particular song was playing during the trauma. How can I get myself to be able to listen to that particular song without it re-opening up all the old emotional wounds all over again?

Cause of the song in question is a happy song but I just cannot listen to it cause of it brings everything from that day back to me.

sarahsweets
05-07-16, 02:02 PM
Same thing for me. I cant stand the artist either which is a shame because I used to like him. You wouldnt believe me if I told you what went on.

Fuzzy12
05-07-16, 02:32 PM
I have a few songs like that, which reminds me of unpleasant events. One of them is come undone by Duran Duran, which is a shame because it's a beautiful song. I just don't listen to it unless I'm very depressed already. I'm not sure what you could do if you can't avoid the song.

I'm not sure if you can retrain your brain to associate that song with something else...or if it's worth the event. Maybe you could go.slowly like first just read the lyrics (especially if it's a happy song wit happy lyrics) and once you are very familiar with the lyrics maybe listen to snippets of the song qhen you are feeling strong or maybe when you sre distracted by something else. I really don't know.:(

Little Missy
05-07-16, 03:05 PM
Oh God, The Clown Song. I was stuck under the deck at the farthest point because I painted the entire foundation. The farthest, tightest, tiniest point and it was horrible.

I always wondered, how did that song happenchance to come on that station anyway?

aeon
05-07-16, 03:24 PM
For me, part of it is accepting what happened without condition. Thatís part of healing the wound.

Part of it is recognizing that my love affair with music came first, and nothing, and I mean nothing,
comes between me and my belovťd. I will always be true, for it has always been true to me, for all my days.

Part is considering the intent of the artist in creating the music, and honoring that, respecting it.

Beyond that, I donít know what to say. Songs never remain attached to traumas for me. Iím not willing
to lose them to things I had no control of. The trauma is enough, I donít need my music taken from me too.


Well-Wishes,
Ian

midnightstar
05-07-16, 03:32 PM
The song I am referring to is "what a wonderful world" by Louis Armstrong (I think that's who sings it)

Fuzzy12
05-07-16, 03:38 PM
The song I am referring to is "what a wonderful world" by Louis Armstrong (I think that's who sings it)

That is a beautiful song.

I like aeon's perspective on this. I've never thought about it that way though I do feel bad that there are so many songs I love but cant listen to .

Maybe another way to break the association is to listen to cover versions of the song by different artists?

aeon
05-07-16, 03:45 PM
The song I am referring to is "what a wonderful world" by Louis Armstrong (I think that's who sings it)

:grouphug:

My heart just broke a little for you.

And pox on whoever left you hurt.


Hugs,
Ian

Simargl
05-07-16, 03:46 PM
I associate memories with music. I couldn't listen to anything by Radiohead or the Cure for a few years because the emotions associated to the music was too much for me. I had to slowly bring the music back into my life and accept the emotions that it brought up. There are still a couple songs that hit me a certain way. But the emotional connection is another reason why I love music so much.

It's difficult but what helped me was just facing it-- listening, accepting the feelings. It got easier for me over time.

Little Missy
05-07-16, 03:51 PM
I am just SO glad it was The Clown Song. Sheesh, I love music.

Twiggy
05-07-16, 08:36 PM
Play the song over and over again until you get used to it.
It's like exposure therapy.

midnightstar
05-08-16, 05:21 AM
Play the song over and over again until you get used to it.
It's like exposure therapy.

I'd probably have to literally get held down in order for that to work otherwise I'd just turn it off straight away :o :grouphug:

TygerSan
05-08-16, 07:42 AM
If I were to have something utterly traumatic happen with a song playing in the background, there is absolutely no way I'd be able to listen to that song again without memories being triggered. Songs for me are strongly, strongly associated with mood memories and context. (((Hugs)))

Honestly, as much as I'd want to be able to chill out and listen to the song in question on an intellectual level, I think this is one battle that I wouldn't be able to win without significant therapy and work. Regardless, the first step would be to forgive myself for having the reaction in the first place. Whatever happened to you is not your fault, Midnight, and your response to the song isn't either.

Lunacie
05-08-16, 10:13 AM
For me the song is "I see the want in your blue eyes. Baby, I want you to want me the way that I want you" by Lobo.

Fortunately it isn't played very often, even on the oldies stations.

Star, the song you mentioned gets played a lot, remakes and original.

Maybe if you do the exposure therapy thing with one of the remakes instead of Louis Armstrong it wouldn't hurt so bad?

acdc01
05-09-16, 09:52 AM
Is it worth the effort to fix this problem? If it's one song, there are plenty of other songs in this world. Maybe realizing that it's ok to just turn the song off it pops up on the radio or something - or just make sure you don't run into that song as much as you can.

I think the bigger issue is the trauma itself. Does it affect you in other ways besides not being able to listen to one song? If it continues to hurt your self-esteem, make you depressed, etc. then dealing with the trauma is what's important. I would think talking to a therapist might help with that. Your fear of the song will naturally go away once you have gotten over the trauma.

midnightstar
05-09-16, 03:16 PM
Is it worth the effort to fix this problem? If it's one song, there are plenty of other songs in this world. Maybe realizing that it's ok to just turn the song off it pops up on the radio or something - or just make sure you don't run into that song as much as you can.

I think the bigger issue is the trauma itself. Does it affect you in other ways besides not being able to listen to one song? If it continues to hurt your self-esteem, make you depressed, etc. then dealing with the trauma is what's important. I would think talking to a therapist might help with that. Your fear of the song will naturally go away once you have gotten over the trauma.

I had a couple of years of therapy after the trauma and I get sad about what happened if my brain decides to make me remember it. It's literally just that one song now that causes me problems, I moved away from the triggering location and have been able to google map that area without it affecting me, and managed to walk through the area on google maps without a problem so it's just that one song that affects me about it still.

KarmanMonkey
05-25-16, 10:26 AM
Play the song over and over again until you get used to it.
It's like exposure therapy.

With trauma, this can sometimes make things worse; if the triggered emotions retraumatize us, it can make us more sensitive to the trigger with repeated exposure, not less.

My best advice is that if this is a serious concern for you, it might be time to start exploring trauma therapy. It's a long process, but they can help you learn techniques to put the lid back on things when you need to, and how to let some of the emotion out without it overwhleming you.

The whole "talk it out and you'll feel better" thing doesn't work well when it comes to trauma unless it's done extremely carefully, strategically and with the right person.

sarahsweets
05-25-16, 01:14 PM
I think it depends on many things...like hold were you, who was around at the time, who else was there.
I think some days are better than others. It can depend on parenting, other disorders etc.
I truly believe that old, squashed down trauma can create host of issues as an adult.

I had a lot of stuff happen but I had such a horrific new experience that it literally made me afraid to drive or leave my house. I had agoraphobia. I guess other than my wonderful doctor and therapist who both let me rely on the phone, i had to do my own version of exposure therapy. It was hard but it did get better.

lighthouse3716
06-17-16, 05:49 PM
Have you guys ever considered going to EMDR therapy? I had a friend who has PTSD, in which I also have PTSD. My friend couldn't listen to a certain song and the therapist used the song and EMDR to relieve the emotions associated with the song. In my opinion for PTSD, EMDR is a miracle! (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)