View Full Version : Friend seems to dislike me


jashley
05-12-16, 12:53 PM
I am so upset, this girl from my church who I thought was my friend had a ladies night get together and posted pictures on FB, and when I asked what it was for and if it was dress shopping she said "No. We were hanging out. And you dont need to be at every social thing I do, ok? Im sorry, but no." What the heck? She hasnt ever invited me to a single social thing shes done, ever. And then I said well sorry for asking I just felt excluded. She said theres no reason you should have felt excluded. But isnt that what you just did? And then to follow it up with an exclusive remark of I dont need to be at every social event you do. Wth? On top of that she made a fb post about a sushi get together and when I responded told me it was cancelled and would reschedule it for next week, then ended up cancelling again because she forgot shed had an appointment to get her phone fixed. Then she glared at me at church and didnt end up going to a small group prayer meeting that she was going to go to after seeing that I was there. I dont know what to do.
And I was at a church small group party last night and sitting with these people friends around a table when suddenly they these two friends just got up and left without even saying goodbye or anything. One of them said brb and then left. Why would they do that?? I FB messaged one of them after and said hey did you leave? I was going to say bye. And they said yeah, sorry, I kind of snuck out. No reason, I just left. Why would they say brb if they were leaving and why did they leave without saying goodbye?

Fuzzy12
05-12-16, 08:22 PM
No idea. But it sounds like she felt a bit stifled. Doesn't necessarily mean that it's your fault but she people get a bit sensitive about this. Anyway if there isn't more to the story none of these people you mentioned sound very nice.

It sucks to feel excluded though.

Socaljaxs
05-12-16, 08:34 PM
These aren't friends. Move them off that list andto the people you see at church, and don't give them the privelge of a title they don't deserve, hold out for people,that deserve you :grouphug:

sarahsweets
05-22-16, 05:26 AM
Oh man, I got my panties in a knot reading this!

I am so upset, this girl from my church who I thought was my friend had a ladies night get together and posted pictures on FB, and when I asked what it was for and if it was dress shopping she said "No. We were hanging out. And you dont need to be at every social thing I do, ok? Im sorry, but no." What the heck? She hasnt ever invited me to a single social thing shes done, ever. And then I said well sorry for asking I just felt excluded. She said theres no reason you should have felt excluded. But isnt that what you just did? And then to follow it up with an exclusive remark of I dont need to be at every social event you do. Wth?
This is one of the reasons I get annoyed by facebook. It allows people to be passive aggressive and run online 'mean girl' type cliques from the comfort of their own homes. The minute she said that snotty comment about not excluding you- then making an excuse-would be when I put her in the "not worth my effort or time" category. Seriously, who wants to be friends with a queen bee like that?

On top of that she made a fb post about a sushi get together and when I responded told me it was cancelled and would reschedule it for next week, then ended up cancelling again because she forgot shed had an appointment to get her phone fixed. Then she glared at me at church and didnt end up going to a small group prayer meeting that she was going to go to after seeing that I was there. I dont know what to do.
OK,Ill be careful here but... for me, when I was a church attender having good friends there was an issue because if he had a falling out it made the whole point of going to church uncomfortable. Her whole schedule and cancel thing is just another sign she is not reliable.

And I was at a church small group party last night and sitting with these people friends around a table when suddenly they these two friends just got up and left without even saying goodbye or anything. One of them said brb and then left. Why would they do that?? I FB messaged one of them after and said hey did you leave? I was going to say bye. And they said yeah, sorry, I kind of snuck out. No reason, I just left. Why would they say brb if they were leaving and why did they leave without saying goodbye?
Well it seems like the Queen Bee has her own followers, if indeed they left because of her gossip. Check your motives and make sure you arent reading too much into their behavior but it does sound like they are too afraid or unsure to deal with you with their own thoughts and their own self will.

Im sorry this happened to you. I am going through a drastic change in female friends and its really painful.

ginniebean
05-22-16, 04:30 PM
It is time to put this person in the not friend category. Even if she is willing to make pretense why do you?

I'm not saying be unfriendly or angry even, but being more than a polite hello before moving on is unnecessary.

In situations like this people want to verbally justify themselves, for some reason that makes it more legitimate. I wouldn't bother listening that long.

wonderboy
05-22-16, 04:35 PM
Read the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie"

It is a classic, and might help you in some way. Give it a chance..

KarmanMonkey
05-26-16, 10:33 AM
Sometimes I'll ask the person directly what make them feel uncomfortable. Occasionally their answer might even be helpful.

Sometimes I'll just walk away from the relationship and look for someone who is a better communicator.

Sometimes I'll ask a third party who knows us both to walk me through what happened.

Sometimes I'll respond in less healthy ways.

It sounds like this person might be undermining other relationships you have in your church, and this is not right. If it continues in this fashion, or gets worse, and you can't work things out directly with the parties involved, maybe approach the leader of your church to talk about your concerns and see if they can help you come up with a solution.

Lloyd_
06-09-16, 03:58 PM
I am so upset, this girl from my church who I thought was my friend had a ladies night get together and posted pictures on FB, and when I asked what it was for and if it was dress shopping she said "No. We were hanging out. And you dont need to be at every social thing I do, ok? Im sorry, but no." What the heck? She hasnt ever invited me to a single social thing shes done, ever. And then I said well sorry for asking I just felt excluded. She said theres no reason you should have felt excluded. But isnt that what you just did? And then to follow it up with an exclusive remark of I dont need to be at every social event you do. Wth? On top of that she made a fb post about a sushi get together and when I responded told me it was cancelled and would reschedule it for next week, then ended up cancelling again because she forgot shed had an appointment to get her phone fixed. Then she glared at me at church and didnt end up going to a small group prayer meeting that she was going to go to after seeing that I was there. I dont know what to do.
And I was at a church small group party last night and sitting with these people friends around a table when suddenly they these two friends just got up and left without even saying goodbye or anything. One of them said brb and then left. Why would they do that?? I FB messaged one of them after and said hey did you leave? I was going to say bye. And they said yeah, sorry, I kind of snuck out. No reason, I just left. Why would they say brb if they were leaving and why did they leave without saying goodbye?


Sounds like these people are emotionally and psychologically abusing you. Once you've realized this and that you were being abused by these people, you'll feel a lot better about your situation.