Okay guys,
I'm not good with the opposite sex. Not that I need to be hitting on anyone since I'm married. But I thought I would share some of the worst things I've said to women in bars and at parties.

1. Hi. You are a girl.
2. Haven't I met you someplace again?
3. What's your uh... uh... you know, the starry thing with lines?
4. You look hot, but not in a sweaty way.
5. That accent sounds American.
6. You realize that we all share DNA so we're related.... Right?
7. You look good like pizza.
8. Margeret Thatcher has nothing on you baby.
9. How long did it take to dye those roots black?
10. Those clothes look itchy

If you've done worse let's hear it.

MB

I know nothing! :P

you look like you lost a ton of weight

I think that could work with someone who has lost a lot of weight, but not with someone who hasn't.

I've been in both positions. :D :D

My pick up line:


Smile, look.... get a smile back... wait for them to talk to me.

Never works, lol!


I am working on this one: always get her e-mail/phone number because they do not call/e-mail if you give yours out...oh well.

I give up :)

you look like you lost a ton of weight

Not kidding, some woman at work told me that LAST FRIDAY.

pick up lines vary by the woman ,subtle teasing usually works to get the convo going then I clam up because I suck at small talk

Hi, I'm Dave

Hi, I'm Dave

Now that would get my attention. Simple is often the best route otherwise our "super player alert" kicks into high gear.

:eek: I'm sorry guys I just noticed this is the mens section, I'm multi tasking and apparantly not doing a very well job of it today. forget my advice. :faint:

quietly slinking out of the room with my tail between my legs,
Cherity

O' no the urge has overtaken me to remind you pick up lines are not just things men screw up. I once walked up to a total hunk at a frat party and asked "can I keep you?" And then noticed his very lovely girlfriend attached to his arm. :eek:

Ok now I"m slinking away quietly with my tail tucked between my legs

NO! You may NOT slink away until we have taunted you severely with our maleness...


oh wait?? Women have pickup lines ?


Someone give me a quarter because I need to buy a clue...

My favorite disasterous pickup lines are: "nice shoes..." or maybe "nice shirt", or "why does your hair look funny?" or "are those real ?" :faint:


Me :D




O' no the urge has overtaken me to remind you pick up lines are not just things men screw up. I once walked up to a total hunk at a frat party and asked "can I keep you?" And then noticed his very lovely girlfriend attached to his arm. :eek:

Ok now I"m slinking away quietly with my tail tucked between my legs

Ok, this was back in the late 70's and this wasn't a pickup line that I screwed up....just a generally ADD driven response.

I was hitting on this sales woman who had a little bit of an accent that I didn't recognize. This woman looked like a cross between Catherine Zeta-Jones and Jennifer Anniston.
Her name was Natasha. I asked her where she was from and she said Russia. So I said the first thing that popped into my head "Really? You don't LOOK Russian."
Let's just say I couldn't have had gotten a less positive response if I had the words "I'm stupid" tatooed on my forehead.

NO! You may NOT slink away until we have taunted you severely with our maleness... :rolleyes: O' now theres something I've never experianced before. lol Should I warn you I give as good as I get? With 4 brothers and 2 fathers, 2 sons and a husband I've learned to be quick on my feet with the comebacks. :D


oh wait?? Women have pickup lines ?Of course!!!! How do you think I landed my husband though its rather dirty and shouldn't be mentioned in polite company. :p


Someone give me a quarter because I need to buy a clue...

My favorite disasterous pickup lines are: "nice shoes..." or maybe "nice shirt", or "why does your hair look funny?" or "are those real ?" :faint:"Are those real?" I would definatly drop that one unless your aiming for a good slap. But, just so you know for future reference...Yes indeedy they are. ;)


Me :D

Women in fact use a lot of lines men generally use. I love your hair, have you lost weight (is used but should never ever be attempted unless the fact is true), wow what big muscles you have *drools*, can I take you home? Yep, we got them and we fail miserably just as much as men unless of course your me. lmbo

Ok, this was back in the late 70's and this wasn't a pickup line that I screwed up....just a generally ADD driven response.

I was hitting on this sales woman who had a little bit of an accent that I didn't recognize. This woman looked like a cross between Catherine Zeta-Jones and Jennifer Anniston.
Her name was Natasha. I asked her where she was from and she said Russia. So I said the first thing that popped into my head "Really? You don't LOOK Russian."
Let's just say I couldn't have had gotten a less positive response if I had the words "I'm stupid" tatooed on my forehead.

You could have said something along the lines of "OMG your beauty has me so flustered what I meant was your accent has a Russian lilt to it" Women like knowing their beauty flusters a man. ;)

Ok slinking back out and stop calling me back in here or a mod will severely punish me. :D ;)

You could have said something along the lines of "OMG your beauty has me so flustered what I meant was your accent has a Russian lilt to it" Women like knowing their beauty flusters a man. ;)

Ok slinking back out and stop calling me back in here or a mod will severely punish me. :D ;)
Yeah, if ONLY I could think that fast on my feet when I'm flustered by a woman.
I could have used those words of wisdom in the park yesterday when I was yet again flustered by a woman's beauty.
I've learned to not say the first thing that pops into my head....which in this instance was..."Hi"...
So, I'm still finding a happy medium between sounding stupid and looking stupid! :D

"nice shoes..."
Well see that is rather a nice thing to say I think (huge shoe collection).

TIP: If a woman has pretty shoes on, they are meant to be noticed.

I once attracted a nice man by wearing a new pair of black and white lizard skin Dan Post cowboy boots. Yessiree. It was a lovely conversation starter indeed. ;) :D

HaHA! Well, whatever works , works. :D

Me

Well see that is rather a nice thing to say I think (huge shoe collection).

TIP: If a woman has pretty shoes on, they are meant to be noticed.

I once attracted a nice man by wearing a new pair of black and white lizard skin Dan Post cowboy boots. Yessiree. It was a lovely conversation starter indeed. ;) :D

Hi, I'm Dave


[QUOTE=Nucking_Futs]Now that would get my attention. Simple is often the best route otherwise our "super player alert" kicks into high gear.


Then it's settled. If I am ever in a position again where I need to pick up a woman I'm going to do what Dave does. Walk up and say:
"Hi, I'm Dave."

:D

Make me pround and don't say Daaaa with your tong hanging out LOL

Russian girls, "Drul" A very good friend of mine who is one ot the top Photographers in the country married a Russian girl. And I have told her that she is probably the most "Gorgeous" girl I have ever meet , we are great friends. LOL

LOL yer silly :p :)

Then it's settled. If I am ever in a position again where I need to pick up a woman I'm going to do what Dave does. Walk up and say:
"Hi, I'm Dave."

:D

Then it's settled. If I am ever in a position again where I need to pick up a woman I'm going to do what Dave does. Walk up and say:
"Hi, I'm Dave."

:D

I'm feeling a little bit mocked here. :(

So, I will get my revenge by offering you some great advice *giggles*

How about the next time you run into a woman you'd like to get to know better you just yell out across the room "Hey, baby I wanna take your tempeture" and let me know how that goes. :p

Did you hear me Futs ! LOL

Did you hear me Futs ! LOL

Loud and clear :o

You really should read your pm's. lmbo

I try to keep up with them LOL, thanks for the reminder.

I have a fool proof line.... approach a girl and ask her "would you like to dance"

If she is nasty or gives attitude, look at he quizzically and say,

"no no, i said you look fat in those pants."

Let the merriment begin

nice :)

I experience complete brain lock when around women I do not know. Even if a cute woman approaches me and starts a conversation, I cannot get past "Hi".

Not a big deal - I'm married - I don't worry about pick up lines anymore. Given my complete inability to communicate in any comprehensible manner with the opposite sex, it's amazing that I'm married at all.

Yeah I shy away most of the time, especially if she is single and starring at me. Most men would take this as a sign from god and capitalize, but me? I just get nervous and awkward(that brain lock mentioned above kicks in). I just feel so unworthy of love sometimes..you know? I think I'm doomed for single life forever. Oh well, at least my hands are in good working order. har har har!!:p
I think i'm going to go cry now.:(


But all foolishness aside, there are times I can be so dam suave and charming that even I am shocked that I have so much potential. Too bad its once in a full moon though.

A few i've never really used...

I'd like to get something straight between us....

Pardon me is anyone using that body?

You're quite gal "said in a thurston howell voice"


Mike

the first one made me laugh out loud hahaha.

I'm going to have to use that one.

[quote=davehawk]

Hi, I'm Dave





Then it's settled. If I am ever in a position again where I need to pick up a woman I'm going to do what Dave does. Walk up and say:
"Hi, I'm Dave."

:D

Only works if your name also happens to be Dave!
Of course you could say you're not actually a Dave but heard it worked for some guy who was a Dave so you thought you'd give it a try.
If she doesn't appreciate the humor she's not worth it anyway.

I don't know if women have as many pickup lines - but this one was my worst ever, in
1989 : "you look just like my ex-boyfriend!"
*slaps forehead*

the worst I ever heard : "you have beautiful eyes, even if they're red" (after several beers in a very smoky bar)

A guy I dated, when we met, said "I would shake my *** like a babboon to get you to sit and talk to me"

It worked, I sat and talked to him. But I like the awkward guys, personally. Somehow I don't think that would have worked on other girls :D

This one doesn't work either....

"Wow...you look good compared to your friends!"

:cool:

I learned very quickly that, under pressure, I was a blathering idiot.

I have only asked one girl out in my entire life. I did it over the phone, I had it scripted on paper, and it went relatively well. I got shot down, and I haven't asked a girl out since.

However, my first date stories abound. Such timeless classics as:

-Showing up 2 hours late to the first date (and forgetting the second date)

-Forgetting her name

-Calling her by someone else's name

-Exiting the movie theatre and spending 1.5 hours trying to find my car

-Showing up to the wrong movie theatre

-Driving over her foot upon pickup

-Leaving the car lights on, and stalling the car on the first date

-Accidentally locking the car keys in the trunk of the car (oh...this was her graduation ceremony...does it still count?)

-Arriving at the restaurant on time, but forgetting to pick her up

-Forgetting a valid drivers insurance, and spending the first date with her and two policemen

-Forgetting to do up one's fly on the first date

-Forgetting to bring my wallet to the restaurant

And yes, I should really be a 30-year-old virgin (yet somehow I'm not). There are some incredibly forgiving girls out there if you're lucky enough to find them and wise enough to appreciate them.

i have done this towards the end of the night before,

just go around the club asking 'do you want to have sex?',
start off on the prettiest and work your way down,
2 slaps and a couple of ignores,
your in
what a night and some nice meetings at 2am on weekends;)
(i would'nt try working your way up the list:))

Yes, actually that does work. If you are tough minded and can handle rejection. Also,make sure your protected. ;)

Another thing I want to point out is, if your going to go out, do it by yourself. You have a heck of a lot more freedom than if you go with your friends. You will be much less self-conscious and will be able to focus more on what works for you INSTEAD OF what looks cool to your friends but does not work for you.