View Full Version : did you believe you had ADHD before you got an official diagnosis?


bluejay14
05-25-16, 09:24 AM
I feel like a fraud at the moment, because I don't know for sure.
I'm wondering if this is a common feeling for people who self-diagnose but then have to wait a long time to get an official diagnosis?

Most of the time I'm so sure I have it, and the more I read and research, the more sure I am... but occasionally I get hit by self-doubt and wonder if I'm just seeing what I want to see because I've spent so many years looking for a reason to explain why I am the way I am.

I need to know for sure, because I'm hoping meds will help me. But I'm stuck in limbo at the moment. It's going to be months, or longer and the wait is already driving me crazy :(

psychopathetic
05-25-16, 09:39 AM
I pretty much self diagnosed myself before getting the official diagnosis. lol I went into see my therapist, told her matter of factly that I strongly felt I had ADHD-PI...and she didn't argue it a bit and sent me to see a psych doc who would be able to give me the diagnosis.

I doubt my diagnosis a lot...I have a hell of a time letting myself admit that I have legit struggles...instead I like to beat myself with a bat and tell myself I'm just being a good for nothing lazy person.

I think a lot of this stems from the fact...that I still don't exactly understand even what ADHD-PI is or how it works. I've read descriptions and articles and blah, blah, blah...and yet I still couldn't sit down and tell someone what ADHD-PI is in a nutshell. In just a few sentences.

Still though...I've had at least a dozen diagnoses over the years ranging all sorts of things. I've never felt any of them have matched me so well as ADHD-PI does.

(((((((BlueJay)))))))

Hang in there.
Getting a proper diagnosis wont fix things...but it sure is a relief and sure does help answer a lot of questions that otherwise go un-answered.
Sorry it's taking so long for you :(
What's the hold up?

Socaljaxs
05-25-16, 09:57 AM
I was 9 when I was first diagnosed, so I really didn't have an opinion 1 way or the other.. I also have what is concerned common ADHD behaviors that people tend to relate to ADHD.

Lunacie
05-25-16, 10:10 AM
Yes, I had been trying for many years to figure out what was different about me, why I struggled more than other people.

But nothing really explained it until a friend suggested my granddaughter might have ADHD.

I began reading about it and had no doubt that both my granddaughter and I have ADHD.

I knew I had depression at times, but realized there was name for the fidgets and worries as well ... anxiety disorder.

I was so happy to finally have the answer, and to find something that helps so I don't struggle as much as in the past.

bluejay14
05-25-16, 11:07 AM
Still though...I've had at least a dozen diagnoses over the years ranging all sorts of things. I've never felt any of them have matched me so well as ADHD-PI does.

(((((((BlueJay)))))))

Hang in there.
Getting a proper diagnosis wont fix things...but it sure is a relief and sure does help answer a lot of questions that otherwise go un-answered.
Sorry it's taking so long for you :(
What's the hold up?

Thank you :) I'm glad you found something that feels like a better fit for you.

And yeah, I'm hoping that knowing for sure will bring me some peace of mind - not that it will fix everything, but I've always felt that something isn't right... and nothing else quite fits.

The hold up is being in the UK and waiting lists. Nothing happens very fast here unless it's a medical emergency.
Although to be fair, I first suspected I had ADHD ages ago and procrastinated for two years before deciding to ask my doctor for a referral :rolleyes:

bluejay14
05-25-16, 11:12 AM
Yes, I had been trying for many years to figure out what was different about me, why I struggled more than other people.

But nothing really explained it until a friend suggested my granddaughter might have ADHD.

I began reading about it and had no doubt that both my granddaughter and I have ADHD.

I knew I had depression at times, but realized there was name for the fidgets and worries as well ... anxiety disorder.

I was so happy to finally have the answer, and to find something that helps so I don't struggle as much as in the past.

I'm glad to hear that knowing has helped you.
And that's what made me suspect ADHD - was when a friend (who is a doctor) told me that she thought might daughter might have ADHD. When I read about it I quickly realised that actually we both have it, and probably my son too.
Now we are all on the waiting list for assessment!

bluejay14
05-25-16, 11:14 AM
I was 9 when I was first diagnosed, so I really didn't have an opinion 1 way or the other.. I also have what is concerned common ADHD behaviors that people tend to relate to ADHD.

Nobody knew about ADHD when I was a kid. But I think I ticked all the boxes back then too.

cobbler8
05-26-16, 12:22 AM
I felt like a fraud for a very long time, someone who just wanted an excuse, or maybe worse someone who just wanted the drugs.

For me I think it was out of fear. Not really afraid of having ADHD, but afraid of not having it. The fear that, if there is nothing wrong with me, that must mean I'm just an awful person. I hated myself for so long, a long time before I knew about ADHD. I would tell myself, it isn't ADHD, you're faking because you don't want to admit you're a failure. Well, that is no way to live. And, normal people do not fake for years, and they certainly don't fake since they were a kid.

Besides, there are other things that look somewhat like ADHD, and it could be one of those. If you have something like that, it doesn't make you a faker either, it just means the label was different (and if you are really lucky, it might be curable.)

But I know a lot of people felt like a fraud before being diagnosed (and many feel that way for a long time after.) In my case it was probably because I had low opinions of myself. Maybe that's a thing for people who have undiagnosed and untreated adhd for a long time, it wouldn't surprise me. Regardless, you certainly are not alone in feeling that way, and I hope you do not get too discouraged by the wait.

BBSurf37
05-26-16, 01:43 AM
I know that feeling too. However once I started on my MEDS, I was able to tackle some of my big issues. I'm glad I don't feel like a loser anymore.

stef
05-26-16, 01:59 AM
"For me I think it was out of fear. Not really afraid of having ADHD, but afraid of not having it. The fear that, if there is nothing wrong with me, that must mean I'm just an awful person. I hated myself for so long, a long time before I knew about ADHD. I would tell myself, it isn't ADHD, you're faking because you don't want to admit you're a failure. Well, that is no way to live. And, normal people do not fake for years, and they certainly don't fake since they were a kid."

ThiS is why im not diagnosed
Its not as diagnosed here as in the US
And if some snippy french Dr said i have nothing
What would i do...

Hermus
05-26-16, 03:58 AM
Yes, I do and I did for some time in the past. A drama therapist I was in therapy with suggested it at the time, but when mentioning it to my psychiatrist he just talked over it and didn't even consider the possibility. However, lately after a lot of struggles I went to my GP and he again referred me to the hospital. Now they are taking it seriously and I'm in the diagnostic stage.

Actually if I read the symptoms of ADHD-PI I'm not even doubting that all symptoms match. However, one of the prerequisites is that it already was present in childhood. When my parents filled in the list for the psychiatrist some symptoms matched during childhood, but not all. So that's confusing, since ADHD-PI can't suddenly occur later in life.

sarahsweets
05-26-16, 04:27 AM
When was 5 I was"diagnosed" with something the child therapist called "attentional disorder". I dont know if she was just not willing to be more bold an call it like it is, but this was 1980 and I was seeing her because my parents were getting divorced.

I am not against self diagnosis so long as people keep in mind the possibilities of other issues. As a mom this happens a lot.I know what strep looks like. and I know how my kids act when they have it. I even call the peds and tell them we need to be seen again...but I still need to let the doc do his thing.
My daughter was misdiagnosed with mono and missed parts of christmas- turns out she just had a reallly bad cold.

I guess its balance between knowing your own body-and being willing to hear what might make you uncomfortable.
Either way, my gut instinct has always been the recuer of the day and sometimes it seems that all the doctors are good for is dealing with the insurance companies.

bluejay14
05-26-16, 07:04 AM
I felt like a fraud for a very long time, someone who just wanted an excuse, or maybe worse someone who just wanted the drugs.

For me I think it was out of fear. Not really afraid of having ADHD, but afraid of not having it. The fear that, if there is nothing wrong with me, that must mean I'm just an awful person. I hated myself for so long, a long time before I knew about ADHD. I would tell myself, it isn't ADHD, you're faking because you don't want to admit you're a failure. Well, that is no way to live. And, normal people do not fake for years, and they certainly don't fake since they were a kid.

Besides, there are other things that look somewhat like ADHD, and it could be one of those. If you have something like that, it doesn't make you a faker either, it just means the label was different (and if you are really lucky, it might be curable.)

But I know a lot of people felt like a fraud before being diagnosed (and many feel that way for a long time after.) In my case it was probably because I had low opinions of myself. Maybe that's a thing for people who have undiagnosed and untreated adhd for a long time, it wouldn't surprise me. Regardless, you certainly are not alone in feeling that way, and I hope you do not get too discouraged by the wait.

All of this makes so much sense to me. Thank you for your thoughtful words. It's so helpful to realise these feelings are shared by others in similar situations.

bluejay14
05-26-16, 07:05 AM
I know that feeling too. However once I started on my MEDS, I was able to tackle some of my big issues. I'm glad I don't feel like a loser anymore.

I'm so glad to hear that knowing and getting treatment has helped you. This is what I'm hoping for myself eventually.

bluejay14
05-26-16, 07:07 AM
"For me I think it was out of fear. Not really afraid of having ADHD, but afraid of not having it. The fear that, if there is nothing wrong with me, that must mean I'm just an awful person. I hated myself for so long, a long time before I knew about ADHD. I would tell myself, it isn't ADHD, you're faking because you don't want to admit you're a failure. Well, that is no way to live. And, normal people do not fake for years, and they certainly don't fake since they were a kid."

ThiS is why im not diagnosed
Its not as diagnosed here as in the US
And if some snippy french Dr said i have nothing
What would i do...

:( I can understand that fear. I half expected my doctor to just send me away, or tell me it wasn't ADHD, but something else instead.

There's an article I keep seeing floating around on social media about that French doctor who claims that ADHD doesn't exist in France. Every time I see it I get ragey :mad:
I can imagine that it's very hard to get taken seriously there. The UK is better, but still a long way behind the US in recognising and diagnosing.

bluejay14
05-26-16, 07:09 AM
Yes, I do and I did for some time in the past. A drama therapist I was in therapy with suggested it at the time, but when mentioning it to my psychiatrist he just talked over it and didn't even consider the possibility. However, lately after a lot of struggles I went to my GP and he again referred me to the hospital. Now they are taking it seriously and I'm in the diagnostic stage.

Actually if I read the symptoms of ADHD-PI I'm not even doubting that all symptoms match. However, one of the prerequisites is that it already was present in childhood. When my parents filled in the list for the psychiatrist some symptoms matched during childhood, but not all. So that's confusing, since ADHD-PI can't suddenly occur later in life.

I hope you find out for sure soon. Is it possible that your parents just didn't recognise the inattentive symptoms in you as a child? I think they can be hard to spot unless you know what you're looking for. Good luck with your diagnosis.

bluejay14
05-26-16, 07:14 AM
Either way, my gut instinct has always been the recuer of the day and sometimes it seems that all the doctors are good for is dealing with the insurance companies.

I'm in the UK so we don't have to do the whole insurance thing... but getting the NHS to diagnose is a different battle. Our resources are so stretched the waiting lists are endless - even if you're lucky enough to have an ADHD specialist in your area.

I am open to other possibilities... people are complex. But I think I'm very much ADHD with possibly a dash of ASD and a hefty shot of anxiety ;) But the anxiety is usually secondary to the ADHD and very much fed by it I think - due to hyperarousal/edginess and a tendency to obsess/ruminate.

TheFitFatty
05-26-16, 07:48 AM
The thought that I might have it never crossed my mind. I knew I had issues, I've struggled with depression and anxiety and always suspected I might be bi-polar, but never would I have ever thought that it might all be because of ADHD. When it was suggested and I looked at the symptoms it was like everything suddenly fell into place. Like my entire life and everything I've been through suddenly made sense.

cshaw07
05-26-16, 08:54 AM
For 27 years friends and family asked me if I was ADD or said I was ADHD, I laughed. Then i got promoted at work and my work declined since it was boring. I went to a psych (found a good one after 3 bad ones...) and he's like "i could tell within the first 5 min, you're everywhere at once" so that confirmed it. The next hurdle is actually obtaining medicine for it.

bluejay14
05-26-16, 08:59 AM
The thought that I might have it never crossed my mind. I knew I had issues, I've struggled with depression and anxiety and always suspected I might be bi-polar, but never would I have ever thought that it might all be because of ADHD. When it was suggested and I looked at the symptoms it was like everything suddenly fell into place. Like my entire life and everything I've been through suddenly made sense.

This is how I felt when I first read about it after years of struggling with mild depression and anxiety. I looked it up for my child, and then realised it applied to me too, and the more I read about ADHD in adults the more sure I was.
But I need to know for sure, because part of me worries that I've just grabbed onto it like a life raft and I'm kidding myself.

bluejay14
05-26-16, 09:00 AM
For 27 years friends and family asked me if I was ADD or said I was ADHD, I laughed. Then i got promoted at work and my work declined since it was boring. I went to a psych (found a good one after 3 bad ones...) and he's like "i could tell within the first 5 min, you're everywhere at once" so that confirmed it. The next hurdle is actually obtaining medicine for it.

Good luck with the next stage. I hope you can get the help you need.

cshaw07
05-26-16, 09:06 AM
This is how I felt when I first read about it after years of struggling with mild depression and anxiety. I looked it up for my child, and then realised it applied to me too, and the more I read about ADHD in adults the more sure I was.
But I need to know for sure, because part of me worries that I've just grabbed onto it like a life raft and I'm kidding myself.

I considered that too after the 3rd doctor telling me add isn't real... If you feel you're add based on what you've read about you, and especially if friends and family can see the traits you're seeing, I'd say it's a good chance you have it and not to think you're kidding yourself.

bluejay14
05-26-16, 09:13 AM
I considered that too after the 3rd doctor telling me add isn't real... If you feel you're add based on what you've read about you, and especially if friends and family can see the traits you're seeing, I'd say it's a good chance you have it and not to think you're kidding yourself.

If I'm honest with myself... based on what I've read, I'm like 99% sure I have it. I tick all the boxes for combined ADHD and I did as as child too (from what I can remember and from what my family tell me). If someone tells me I don't have it, I don't think I'll believe them. But I will also be devastated because it took a lot of courage for me to get to the point where I was able to ask for help.

I'm sorry you had to fight so hard to get answers for yourself. I hope getting meds is an easier battle!

cshaw07
05-26-16, 09:54 AM
I did what you did, and I wouldn't believe them either. It is very disconcerting to have three doctors tell you ADD is made up... Don't give up.

Cyllya
05-26-16, 10:06 AM
Yep. I started looking into it strongly when I was 20 and couldn't handle my first full-time job. However, it seemed you had to go to a psychiatrist (or psychologist) for that sort of thing, and my insurance at the time didn't cover mental health. The local university had a thing where you see their clinicians-in-training for a diagnosis for a relatively non-horrible price, but they had a waiting list several months long before you could even make an appointment.

After I got better insurance (and moved so I was seeing a different doctor), I went to a GP about it with the expectation of getting a referral to a psychiatrist, but instead the GP diagnosed me on the spot and gave me an Adderall prescription. So... easier than I was expecting?

If I hadn't already self-diagnosed and been looking for meds in particular, I probably wouldn't have been comfortable enough with the diagnosis to take the meds. But the more I think about it, the more it seems like GPs should be able to diagnose ADHD in adults in one 20-minute appointment. It's not like it's some obscure and rare condition.

bluejay14
05-26-16, 10:27 AM
Yep. I started looking into it strongly when I was 20 and couldn't handle my first full-time job. However, it seemed you had to go to a psychiatrist (or psychologist) for that sort of thing, and my insurance at the time didn't cover mental health. The local university had a thing where you see their clinicians-in-training for a diagnosis for a relatively non-horrible price, but they had a waiting list several months long before you could even make an appointment.

After I got better insurance (and moved so I was seeing a different doctor), I went to a GP about it with the expectation of getting a referral to a psychiatrist, but instead the GP diagnosed me on the spot and gave me an Adderall prescription. So... easier than I was expecting?

If I hadn't already self-diagnosed and been looking for meds in particular, I probably wouldn't have been comfortable enough with the diagnosis to take the meds. But the more I think about it, the more it seems like GPs should be able to diagnose ADHD in adults in one 20-minute appointment. It's not like it's some obscure and rare condition.

This post makes me remember the horrors of my first full time job (I was a teacher). That was the first time I really knew something wasn't right with me because I didn't understand how anyone else coped with the demands! Ugh.

Glad you got diagnosed relatively easily in the end. GPs definitely need more training in recognising the signs of ADHD given how common it apparently is, it's shocking that so many of them are still clueless (certainly here in the UK anyway).

Pilgrim
05-26-16, 04:31 PM
I feel like a fraud at the moment, because I don't know for sure.
I'm wondering if this is a common feeling for people who self-diagnose but then have to wait a long time to get an official diagnosis?

Most of the time I'm so sure I have it, and the more I read and research, the more sure I am... but occasionally I get hit by self-doubt and wonder if I'm just seeing what I want to see because I've spent so many years looking for a reason to explain why I am the way I am.

I need to know for sure, because I'm hoping meds will help me. But I'm stuck in limbo at the moment. It's going to be months, or longer and the wait is already driving me crazy :(

It's common to feel this way, I know I did. I didn't really understand the concept, regarding ADD I always thought my problem was depression.
You've basically got to jump on one side of the fence or the other, and it doesn't really matter how long you take its just easier, wether to believe in your diagnosis of ADD.
The three things that made me a believer was how I was suffering, and I just wanted to make it stop. Meds, I instantly felt more grounded and aware. And the third thing was coming on ADDF and reading the posts, no joke , the in depth ones I reckon I could have written about a hundred of them.
ADD is complex and a little bit mysterious, but it's doable and very real. I think the beauty of embracing ADD is I don't have those unguarded moments when I feel totally lost and bereaved becuse I don't know what I am. Now I know and I can develop myself in a more friendly manner.

Roundmouth
05-26-16, 04:53 PM
I did not believe it. I'd KNOWN it for years but not exactly believed it.

Fuzzy12
05-26-16, 05:17 PM
Yes, I suspected it but getting told repeatedly how unlikely it was made me seriously doubt myself. I am still sceptical even though ive been diagnosed by by two separate psychiatrists now. I honestly don't know but I can relate to feeling like a fraud.

aeon
05-26-16, 05:32 PM
Yes, for about 6 weeks prior to the official diagnosis at age 41.

Prior to that, I had no idea. I had so many other ways to explain it all,
even if those things didn’t fit quite right.

It amazes me sometimes given my voracious appetite for reading all
things neurobiopsychopharmacological.


Cheers,
Ian

BellaVita
05-26-16, 07:12 PM
I had no clue I had ADHD and didn't know much about it. (I was a teenager)

I went into the psychiatrist for bad PMS mood swings and walked out with an ADHD diagnosis.

Heybunny
05-26-16, 07:38 PM
I self-diagnosed. My mom was too afraid of me being "drugged up" to take me to the doctors so I struggled through school ultimately getting worse grades than predicted. When I was around 20 (ten years ago) I asked a temporary doctor at our GP surgery and they laughed saying "Adults don't have ADD, that's a children's disorder" and I kind of felt dismissed and began to think I was just useless and a rubbish person.

The past few years (dropped out of Uni twice sadly, which is a giant anxiety trigger for me due to feeling useless) I've been thinking about why I dropped out of various courses and jobs and started searching for info again. Suddenly, I find the ADHD Reddit with a wealth of easily accessible information in the sidebar and noticed I had 99% of the symptoms of combined ADHD and that many adults have it. I felt awakened and at least partly justified in my many failings in life due to being out of my control.

I armed myself with old school reports, mostly saying how distracted I was and how I couldn't talk to the other kids very well as I interrupted people, etc. I took my mom and went to a GP, my mom confirmed everything and talked about my behaviour as a child and the GP grudgingly referred me to a specialist clinic nearby. I went there armed with the same reports and letters and my mom again, who took notes and told us they'd be in touch. That was in maybe February this year, last week I had an appointment with a specialist who officially diagnosed me with ADHD and a massive weight was lifted from my shoulders.

I will begin taking Concerta after an electrocardiogram and I get my blood test results and I hope it'll start a new chapter in my life where I'll be able to work and focus on things. :)

There's a lot of stigma around ADHD sadly, because it's newer than more accepted conditions like depression. I imagine that can cause self-shame in some people who suspect they have it. I've seen many posts on Reddit saying they felt embarrassed to go to the doctor in case they look like a pill popping drug addict looking for a fix. It's so sad. :(

mrh235
05-26-16, 08:47 PM
It did surprise me and still does sometimes, but at the same I suppose knowing I had ADHD to a degree was in the back of my mind for the longest time. When I first got tested and diagnosed I knew there was something wrong with me well beyond depression and anxiety as it was present always. I didn't know if it was ADHD, a learning disability (people frequently assumed I was dyslexic because of how I struggled with reading, following instructions, and ended up doing a lot of stuff backwards), or autism. It was ADHD and it was such a relief to finally get treated and be understood.

bluejay14
05-27-16, 03:53 AM
There's a lot of stigma around ADHD sadly, because it's newer than more accepted conditions like depression. I imagine that can cause self-shame in some people who suspect they have it. I've seen many posts on Reddit saying they felt embarrassed to go to the doctor in case they look like a pill popping drug addict looking for a fix. It's so sad. :(

Yeah, this is definitely true. One of my sisters is part of the 'ADHD doesn't exist' brigade. So I know if I get diagnosed I will have to face up to people like that (assuming I tell them - which I probably will because I'm prone to oversharing!)

bluejay14
05-27-16, 03:55 AM
I wanted to say thanks to everyone who has replied here. It's really encouraging to hear positive stories of people who are happier since diagnosis - although frustrating to hear what a battle it's been (or still is) for some.
It's also good to know I'm not alone in the feeling like a fraud part.
I think if I eventually get a diagnosis I will accept it happily - as it's what I'm expecting and hoping for. Fingers crossed.

Steppe
05-28-16, 04:04 PM
By the time I went through the five month process; from referral to a diagnostic specialist, to filling my first prescription last Tuesday, I felt like I had walked in the eye of a hurricane to avoid being destroyed. My last thought before accepting ADHD was the possibility of a rare and mild seizure disorder causing my mind to stop and restart every 5-40 seconds depending on my normal life factors.

When I did the testing I did my best to ace the tests and not get an ADHD diagnosis.
So if I got the diagnosis I could slowly come to peace with it. The clinician made a point of saying 5-6 times, "You have a severe attention deficit." I let her know I had
absorbed the idea. Her report was adamant that my ADHD demands treatment.

So... "did you believe you had ADHD before you got an official diagnosis?"

I knew something was dreadfully wrong and now I am accepting it slowly.
ADHD is a galaxy of symptoms so each person expresses and relates to it differently.

My current therapist, though outvoted 3-1, is still pushing schizo-affective disorder.
Suffice to say she's 3-10 times flakier than I am. Sigh....

Have great weekends if possible!

Twiggy
05-28-16, 09:43 PM
I was a child, so I wasn't savvy on ADHD at the time.

TheFitFatty
05-29-16, 03:21 AM
This is how I felt when I first read about it after years of struggling with mild depression and anxiety. I looked it up for my child, and then realised it applied to me too, and the more I read about ADHD in adults the more sure I was.
But I need to know for sure, because part of me worries that I've just grabbed onto it like a life raft and I'm kidding myself.


I though maybe I was doing the same thing till I started meds. The meds have made everything so much easier!

ADaptHD
05-30-16, 03:48 AM
I though maybe I was doing the same thing till I started meds. The meds have made everything so much easier!
Yes! Meds were a big aha moment for me. Before trying meds, I knew a lot of ADHD symptoms probably applied to me, but I didn't have perspective on what the implications of that were. Meds gave me a sense of what not having ADHD means, which is a good way to understand what ADHD is about -- before that, ADHD just felt normal since it was the way I'd always felt.

Greyhound1
05-30-16, 08:51 AM
Yes, for about 6 weeks prior to the official diagnosis at age 41.

Prior to that, I had no idea. I had so many other ways to explain it all,
even if those things didn’t fit quite right.

It amazes me sometimes given my voracious appetite for reading all
things neurobiopsychopharmacological.


Cheers,
Ian

Pretty much the same for me. I had no idea, nor did I ever consider ADHD even though I searched and researched for answers for most of my adult life.

I was shocked when I was diagnosed at 45. I had considered and was treated for so many other things in the past, I was very skeptical and apprehensive.

After beginning treatment and researching ADHD, my whole life finally began to make sense. Now, I have no doubt about my diagnosis.

soonrgrl
07-04-16, 01:21 PM
I feel like a fraud at the moment, because I don't know for sure.
I'm wondering if this is a common feeling for people who self-diagnose but then have to wait a long time to get an official diagnosis?

Most of the time I'm so sure I have it, and the more I read and research, the more sure I am... but occasionally I get hit by self-doubt and wonder if I'm just seeing what I want to see because I've spent so many years looking for a reason to explain why I am the way I am.

I need to know for sure, because I'm hoping meds will help me. But I'm stuck in limbo at the moment. It's going to be months, or longer and the wait is already driving me crazy :(

Wow. I can't thank you enough for this post, although I'm saddened that so many have/are feeling this way. I am new here and have not been diagnosed at this point. I feel such a kinship to the people on these forums even tho we have never met and this is my first post. I have seen myself in so much of what I have read, and this thread is at the top of the list.

I recently brought this subject up with my gp and she referred me to a neurologist and gave me an order for a ct scan of my head/brain. I have not followed up on either at this point due to a few reasons. First and foremost is this fear of being wrong and then what do I do?? I will be stuck feeling like I'm never good enough for the rest of my life (I'm 41 btw). Secondly, I told my husband (we've been married 23 years, yes I was young) that I've been trying to figure out how to help myself and that I had been reading about add/adhd and see myself in what I've read. But I told him I get so overwhelmed with information overload that I get lost and don't know where to start or what to do, it's very frustrating living in my brain!!! So his response was that I don't seem that much like the kids that he works with that are add/adhd and don't focus in so much that I make up my mind on a self diagnosis, his suggestion is for me to look more at what I can do to improve one or two things that bother me and work to make that happen. (If only it were that easy... ~sigh~) So he makes me doubt myself as well even tho he is aware that I have a terrible memory, can't seem to focus and get things accomplished, low energy/motivation/metabolism... (I was diagnosed with depression and hypothyroidism several years ago.) And lastly is money. I was really hoping my gp would diagnose and treat me, but couldn't get that lucky I guess. Who knows how many appts, tests, Drs, not to mention meds would end up being.

These three reasons will probably keep me from trying to get myself the help I need. I don't want to seem as tho I just want medication, truth is I'd prefer to just be "normal" whatever that is. I will still try to talk with my husband about it and see if I can get him to understand how much life could be better if he would support me in getting this help. Don't get me wrong, he has been good to me, I think it's just hard for him to understand where I'm coming from. His brain works at optimal levels and he gets things done. I feel like he just thinks I'm lazy and don't apply myself. Which, coincidentally, is how I see myself as well.

Anyway I've rambled on quite enough, sorry about that. I will quickly mention that we have three kids as well (ages 20, 19, and 16) who I think may also have some add/adhd tendencies. (Again with the money issue, since they should come first.) So now you know me in a nutshell. Also, I've just been mom all these years, and I for sure question my capabilities on that one. My poor husband got the short end of the stick with me (no pun intended since I am short!).

Thanks again for this post, at least I don't feel so alone!

casper
07-04-16, 10:08 PM
I was dx as a kid, had no clue about it at the time. Since I have been Reading anything and everything I can get my hands on about it