View Full Version : Problems with maintaing Relationships and/or Friendships

06-04-16, 05:02 AM
I've only had a few relationships as a 20 year old male that haven't gone the best the longest was 6 months and I was dumped based on ADHD and other health issues and the rest are 2 months or less...

Part of the problem is in person I get really hyper when I like someone or get excited and I can't react in a "normal" way I will poke or tickle or lick or whatever weird action to them or say random things that mean nothing...

It's also hard making friends because I am so hyper with people in person...

The last couple times I've tried internet sites and things always seem perfect because through texting I'm amazing at expressing my feeling but after a few dates they seem to break up with me...

The thing is I also try a little hard, I buy them flowers and write poems and songs and take them to waterfalls where it would be just us or on a picnic or a nature walk...

It seems no matter what I do my ADHD is too much to handle...

Should I try dating someone who also has ADHD so they understand why I am reacting the way I do or would that make things bad due to us both being so hyper?

Little Nut
06-04-16, 10:19 AM
Guy, I would not even try to offer advise to you on this. When I was your age, Jimmy Carter was President. If you have any mature friends around your age (man/woman) you could talk to about this would be great I think. Try coffee shop, park, museum, stroll while shopping would be great places to discuss this and practice interpersonal skills as well.

If unable to do this online gaming can give an opportunity to develop casual relationships and be able to discuss these type of issues, but I would think face to face talking while doing interesting stuff would be much better and more fun. GL Ill, -LN

06-06-16, 11:07 AM
Hi. It sounds like you come across as too over-the-top for a new relationship. Writing poems and songs might win over girls on TV and in novels, but in reality, it can come across as overwhelming and a little creepy. I agree with Little Nut about discussing with friends; they might be able to give you good insight as to what is appropriate and what is inappropriate.

As far as only dating ADHD people, I wouldn't limit yourself like that. There are NTs and non-NTs who appreciate you for you and don't mind your behavior. It's just a matter of finding them.

06-06-16, 12:27 PM
most females and males too, will run far away when someone is too intense, and comes on too strong too quickly.. it sweetish however for the other side it adds unnessasary pressure, and a fear of neediness from the other person. In the beginning especially of acquainting your self with a potential mate, you need to not force it or over disclose your feelings and let things be fun and pressure free as possible. It takes a while to truly know a person and the overly romantic gestures can scare a person away pretty fast. Plus when I've been in situations like this, when too much too fast, I've felt it wasn't about me and it was in my min assumed to be fake feelings.

I'm,hyper and loud and interrupt and,talk to much. But that doesn't stop people from being my friend

06-09-16, 02:49 AM
Are you on any medication?