View Full Version : Friend hid Facebook post from me


jashley
06-08-16, 08:17 PM
I am so upset, my friend from church made a FB post about moving to my town from her neighboring town and closer to my church and where I live, and that she was looking for a roomate. I got a notification that she posted this, looked at it but later saw that the status was gone. I asked another mutual friend if she could still see the status and she said yes. And a few days earlier she had posted pretty much the same thing about wanting to move to my town only it sounded less definite. The status she posted then hid from me said she was excited to be able to move to my town and closer to my church and that she was looking for a good roomate and not just anyone. Why would she hide that status from me??

acdc01
06-08-16, 11:37 PM
I see you've posted multiple posts all about your church acquaintances. Think that should tell you it's time to move to a different church and forget about your old one.

peripatetic
06-08-16, 11:44 PM
Why would she hide that status from me??

the only way to know for certain is to ask her. full stop.

Tetrahedra
06-08-16, 11:46 PM
Either:

1) She hid it from a bunch of people and you just happened to be in that group, possibly unintentionally, or

2) She doesn't want to be your roommate. And that is *Okay*. I know many people who I enjoy spending time with but I'd never ever want to be roommates with. Similarly, there are people I wouldn't mind being roommates with, but I don't have a lot in common and therefore don't want to spend time with them elsewhere.

I've noticed a pattern in your posts, and I think you need to take a step back and breathe. Ditch the social media, skip a church group, and go on a walk or hike or to the movies or whatever. You're clearly very invested in whatever is going on, but as I'm reading you post, you're coming across as very intense. This intensity might translate to other people as desperation or other such things, and they might not appreciate that. It might even push them away more.

Without knowing all sides of the situation, it's hard to make a judgment call, but I'd be willing to bet that all of you--yes, you included--are making this situation what it is.

And that's understandable. If I were in your shoes, I'd be really upset, too. I'd want to know what's going on, and I'd be very tempted to do the same things you are. But I think now is a good time for a break and to explore other options.

Just remember that you're a cool person and you don't need to change yourself to appeal to any group of people. Yes, growing and maturing is a wonderful thing, but don't bend to the whims of people who don't care for your personal growth. There are people out there who appreciate you for you, and you will appreciate them for who they are.

sarahsweets
06-09-16, 02:43 AM
Look, Im going to be blunt and dont mean to be harsh...tell these people to f**k off. Do this either literally or figuratively. They are not making you feel good. They are not real friends. Your church sounds mad unhealthy to be a part of. Why do you put yourself through this misery? The truth may be they dont like you, they dont want you around, they dont like your company and they are little snooty-snots. SO what?
You are not defined by what other people think of you. "what other people think of you is none of your business" thats something I try to live by.
The other one: "no, is a complete sentence."
You dont owe them anything. Punch your time card and move on!

jashley
06-09-16, 10:56 AM
Either:

1) She hid it from a bunch of people and you just happened to be in that group, possibly unintentionally, or

2) She doesn't want to be your roommate. And that is *Okay*. I know many people who I enjoy spending time with but I'd never ever want to be roommates with. Similarly, there are people I wouldn't mind being roommates with, but I don't have a lot in common and therefore don't want to spend time with them elsewhere.

I've noticed a pattern in your posts, and I think you need to take a step back and breathe. Ditch the social media, skip a church group, and go on a walk or hike or to the movies or whatever. You're clearly very invested in whatever is going on, but as I'm reading you post, you're coming across as very intense. This intensity might translate to other people as desperation or other such things, and they might not appreciate that. It might even push them away more.

Without knowing all sides of the situation, it's hard to make a judgment call, but I'd be willing to bet that all of you--yes, you included--are making this situation what it is.

And that's understandable. If I were in your shoes, I'd be really upset, too. I'd want to know what's going on, and I'd be very tempted to do the same things you are. But I think now is a good time for a break and to explore other options.

Just remember that you're a cool person and you don't need to change yourself to appeal to any group of people. Yes, growing and maturing is a wonderful thing, but don't bend to the whims of people who don't care for your personal growth. There are people out there who appreciate you for you, and you will appreciate them for who they are.
Well why would she let me see the other post about her looking for a roomate a few days ago but not this one?

Socaljaxs
06-09-16, 11:00 AM
Well why would she let me see the other post about her looking for a roomate a few days ago but not this one?

We won't know for sure since we aren't her... However did you respond to the previous post? Also, cut your losses these people aren't your friends nor should you want,people like them considered as such.

Corina86
06-09-16, 05:01 PM
Well why would she let me see the other post about her looking for a roomate a few days ago but not this one?

Does it matter? If she doesn't want you as a room-mate there's no point in confronting her about it. It can't possibly end well. You're far far too caught up in this. Move on and find new friends. They don't have to be from the church, they don't have to be Christian or religious at all, they just have to be people who like you.

Little Missy
06-09-16, 06:23 PM
Facebook Schmacebook. Free yourself! :)

jashley
06-09-16, 08:28 PM
Does it matter? If she doesn't want you as a room-mate there's no point in confronting her about it. It can't possibly end well. You're far far too caught up in this. Move on and find new friends. They don't have to be from the church, they don't have to be Christian or religious at all, they just have to be people who like you.

Find new friends? Is she not my friend? And it doesnt make sense why she would make one post about moving out and looking for a roommate that seh let me see, then make another one pretty much about the same thing and hide it from me

Unmanagable
06-09-16, 08:54 PM
Outside of facebook posts and feeling left out of church events, when do you hang out with these "friends"?

Little Missy
06-09-16, 09:16 PM
Find new friends? Is she not my friend? And it doesnt make sense why she would make one post about moving out and looking for a roommate that seh let me see, then make another one pretty much about the same thing and hide it from me

Go visit with her at her home and then you can ask her in person. :)

Corina86
06-11-16, 09:34 AM
Find new friends? Is she not my friend? And it doesnt make sense why she would make one post about moving out and looking for a roommate that seh let me see, then make another one pretty much about the same thing and hide it from me

I can't answer that. Nobody can except this girl. But she'll never give you an honest answer anyway. Maybe she wants you as a friend but not as a room-mate. Either way, let it go! If you want to hang out with her, ask her out. If she says no, ask someone else to hang out with you. If you want her to be your room-mate, ask her to move in with you. If she says no, ask someone else. It's that simple. Stop trying to figure out what other people are thinking of you because you just can't.

acdc01
06-11-16, 10:52 AM
Outside of facebook posts and feeling left out of church events, when do you hang out with these "friends"?

This is a good question. If you don't hang out with them outside church events - then you are more acquaintances than friends.

I'd still try to start over with a new church. And I do wonder about what tetrahedral said. If you seem needy to people, it will turn them off so I'd definitely act chill and not confront people. They either like you or they don't and confronting people never changes that.

EDIT: I just went back to another post of yours and noticed you already confronted one person in your church already. I definitely would move to another church after reading that post again. And I would see a therapist and see what their thoughts are on your situation. Tell the therapist what we told you here. I suspect some of your actions may appear too needy (though I can be totally wrong). Don't feel bad about seeming this way if you do. It's something that's very fixable.

sarahsweets
06-11-16, 11:42 AM
Ok, harsh response coming- please forgive me...LET THESE PEOPLE GO.
They are doing you no good. Toxic people are like toxic waste... they both need to get dumped.

anonymouslyadd
06-11-16, 12:23 PM
I see a lot of myself in your attempts to understand these friendships.

Broaden your circle of friends so that you're not as dependent on your church friends when they let you down. Do you have a hobby that you can explore in a small group setting or maybe take a free class somewhere? I think you'll benefit greatly by finding more friends.