View Full Version : Weight fluctuations - eating disorder?


julialouise
06-08-16, 11:31 PM
Ever since I can remember, at least since I first started puberty (age 9), my weight has fluctuated, particularly with the seasons. I noticed that I would eat more and gain more weight in the winter, but when summer started, I wouldn't eat nearly as much and I would be a little thinner.

I know this might be a fairly common cycle for most people, especially those who live in places with cold winters and hot summers, but I was aware that I was more likely to eat when bored during the colder months, not just because I was hungry. When I was in 4th grade (age 10/11), I was being bullied a little and I hated my body, so I stopped eating lunch to lose weight. I was also a ballerina at the time, so the pressure to look like the other girls might have impacted me even more.

Now I'm in college, and I know that a lot of college girls in particular develop eating disorders, but I've realized now that the eating habit might be part of my ADD. I read somewhere that ADDers tend to overeat, chew the insides of their mouth, or chew lots of gum because of the "calming" eating motion, and I've had these habits for EVER. I definitely choose chewier/gummier candies or crunchy foods, and I eat mindlessly if I'm doing another activity, like when I'm trying to do homework or watching a show. I know sugar might also be a typical go-to substance for ADDers, and I definitely have an affinity for it.

However, I started to eat dramatically less at some point in the last 6 months or so, and it started when I was briefly counting calories using an app on my phone (which I eventually gave up filling in because it took too much time and thought). I started to eat less with hopes of losing weight, especially that "Freshman 15" which is oh so real, and it might also have been a result of my school's new food company having terrible options for vegetarians, but I'm having trouble eating a normal amount of food or even remembering/making the effort to eat. I've lost about 20 pounds during this time (past 6 months), and I'm around 120-125 lbs. I don't want to lose more weight, but I'm having trouble forming an appetite, and my stomach hurts if I try to eat certain things.

The medications I take are: 10-20 mg Viibryd for depression/anxiety, low-estrogen birth control, generic Singulair 10-20 mg (montelukast), and I used to take Omeprazole for GERD. Since I don't take that last one any longer, there's a chance that certain foods make my stomach produce extra acid, but this feels different, and it wasn't this bad when I first stopped taking it. But I hardly eat enough to feel comfortable drinking alcohol because my stomach feels to empty, but it's uncomfortable when I try to fill it with anything! I also think this loss of appetite started before I ran out of MJ, so I don't think I'm going thru any sort of withdrawal. And I remember smoking in order to give myself an appetite.

Sorry this is so long winded omg but do you guys experience anything similar? Do you think this might be a sort of EDNOS? I do have a LOT of body image issues, I've always seen myself as bigger than I really am but I didn't realize this until recently, and I have sort of a weird relationship with food, so I think there's a possibility. However, I don't obsessively check my weight or calories.

sarahsweets
06-09-16, 02:02 AM
Maybe not a full-on eating disorder but it reminds me of 'disordered eating.' Dont know if thats a real term or something I made up. basically it means to me, a preoccupation with food, how, when, what to eat and how much food and calories is too much. Also extreme or rigid food intake and calorie counting issues. I say this from the perspective of someone who has issues. Not anymore really, but not a day goes by where I dont criticize my body or think about my weight. Kind of ego centric of me, to think about me this way; as if the world does as well.

TheFitFatty
06-12-16, 06:57 AM
I think you need to ask yourself why you're really eating less? Do you naturally just feel less hungry, or are you eating less because you're afraid of gaining weight?

My disordered eating was always because I was trying not to gain weight, so I wouldn't eat or try and eat as little as possible. When I couldn't continue to not eat and eventually "gave in" I'd binge eat out of some weird self hatred.

My eating has dropped significantly with Concerta, but the reasoning behind it has changed. I'm simply not hungry. And instead of trying to further restrict myself or punish myself, I now just try and eat healthy things. :/

julialouise
07-08-16, 04:02 PM
Maybe not a full-on eating disorder but it reminds me of 'disordered eating.' Dont know if thats a real term or something I made up. basically it means to me, a preoccupation with food, how, when, what to eat and how much food and calories is too much. Also extreme or rigid food intake and calorie counting issues. I say this from the perspective of someone who has issues. Not anymore really, but not a day goes by where I dont criticize my body or think about my weight. Kind of ego centric of me, to think about me this way; as if the world does as well.

yeah disordered eating is definitely a thing. it's often considered EDNOS (eating disorders not otherwise specified). i do have a slight preoccupation with how much i'm eating, and on some days i even think that the small amount of food i ate is too much. and then there are those times when i'm hungry but i just don't do anything about it because my blood sugar isn't acting up for once and i'm usually doing something more interesting.

My eating has dropped significantly with Concerta, but the reasoning behind it has changed. I'm simply not hungry. And instead of trying to further restrict myself or punish myself, I now just try and eat healthy things. :/

mine is definitely a lack of appetite combined with my pre-existing issues with body image. i've been eating a lot less, and i've been kind of happy about it, so i let it continue. once i stopped eating as much, i definitely did try to eat mostly healthy stuff, but that doesn't always happen. i'm a sucker for chocolate and salty stuff. and then of course during PMS i junk out way more, and i feel guilty. i think any time you feel guilty while/after eating is indicative of a larger problem.

TheFitFatty
07-11-16, 01:21 AM
mine is definitely a lack of appetite combined with my pre-existing issues with body image. i've been eating a lot less, and i've been kind of happy about it, so i let it continue. once i stopped eating as much, i definitely did try to eat mostly healthy stuff, but that doesn't always happen. i'm a sucker for chocolate and salty stuff. and then of course during PMS i junk out way more, and i feel guilty. i think any time you feel guilty while/after eating is indicative of a larger problem.

You're probably right. While I'm enjoying the lack of appetite, sub consciously I'm probably reinforcing it as well. Like you though, I binge out during PMS.

I'm starting to feel less guilty though, maybe the meds are helping those issues? :scratch:

julialouise
08-04-16, 11:08 AM
In November 2015, I weighed 140 lbs, maybe teetering on 145. Last week (or maybe the week before) I saw that I was 118 lbs. A couple days ago, it said 116 lbs. I'm not actively trying not to eat or lose weight. I think a combination of being broke, being at home (away from the school caf), and just not having much of an appetite during the summer are all responsible. i could almost say that i just got rid of my "Freshman 15" but I haven't been this thin since 8th grade (when I was 14) and I'm turning 21 in November. I've also done a couple exercises this summer, but mostly just a couple 15-minute yoga sessions and muscle training (squats, ab workouts, planks), hardly anything to raise a sweat. It made my deflated butt look a lot better, though.

Whenever my mother, friends, or my boyfriend compliment my body and tell me how good I look, I react with contempt and bitterness because they don't seem to understand that I have had no control over this and I'm a little bit scared. I hardly eat one meal a day, though I have managed to replace the junk food I"m used to with healthy options, since it's likely to be the only thing I'll eat (usually vegetarian chikn nuggets, corn dogs, mac n cheese). There are multiple days where I do let my stomach growl for hours, usually because my brain goes, "Oh, I'm hungry. I should eat something. OH, that article on Facebook looks interesting, gotta read it right now." repeat. I think part of it is because the hypoglycemia that I thought I had isn't nearly as bad this summer, so my hunger doesnt turn into "Am I gonna throw up and faint because I'm hungry or because I"m sick?" which means that I don't feed myself right away.

i'm mostly sad because my boobs, like my butt, are a bit deflated and they were already small to begin with ): but if i were to fill them up again, that would require me to gain weight, and i worry that i would end up too big and the cycle of self-hate will never end!

PositiveThinker
08-09-16, 10:53 PM
With the way, I look at it, I would have the same reactions with your friends and relatives that it could be a positive sign because you would not have the difficult time to lose much of your weight. However, contrary to that, it could be alarming because everything is not really normal and there must be some ailments that you need to check with a doctor.
One thing more, if you have this "hypoglycemia", I have read that it can be treated easily by eating or drinking a small amount of glucose rich food.

TheFitFatty
08-11-16, 02:06 AM
Whenever my mother, friends, or my boyfriend compliment my body and tell me how good I look, I react with contempt and bitterness because they don't seem to understand that I have had no control over this and I'm a little bit scared.

I understand how you feel. I can't say I've ever had full blown anorexia, but in the past I've wavered between periods of starving myself and overeating.
During the worst phase of starving myself (less than 500 calories a day, not sleeping) I lost quite a bit of weight. To the point, that despite being 5 ft 6 I had to buy clothes in the children's section (somehow my BMI was still in the healthy range, but I think I must have heavy bones or something). I felt horrible. But everyone complimented me.
They had no idea what I was doing to myself.
You can't really blame them though. It's the societal idea that thin = good and beautiful that's the problem. :mad:

TheFitFatty
08-11-16, 02:11 AM
Julialouise I think you need to really start tracking what you eat and trying to force yourself to make sure you get enough calories/nutrients everyday. It's not about getting your boobs and bum back, it's about making sure you don't permanently screw up your metabolism and cause yourself major health problems in the future (osteoporosis, gallbladder issues, type II diabetes, fertility problems, etc).
Try making yourself protein shakes?
There's nothing wrong with a little junk food time again either, especially if you're eating too little.

julialouise
08-11-16, 10:36 AM
Julialouise I think you need to really start tracking what you eat and trying to force yourself to make sure you get enough calories/nutrients everyday. It's not about getting your boobs and bum back, it's about making sure you don't permanently screw up your metabolism and cause yourself major health problems in the future (osteoporosis, gallbladder issues, type II diabetes, fertility problems, etc).
Try making yourself protein shakes?
There's nothing wrong with a little junk food time again either, especially if you're eating too little.

I had this great app that would track my calorie intake and, based on my current weight and how much weight I wanted to gain/lose/keep, it gave me a daily calorie recommendation. When I started using that is when I started to eat a lot less. I also stopped using it because it took so much effort to find the products, especially if I ate a salad of fresh ingredients. But I think I'll start it again with the goal of maintaining my weight (which is now 116 lbs and I'm 5'2 which is apparently a healthy weight). And I definitely still eat some junk food lol. I bought a bag of flamin hot munchies the other day and Taco Bell the other day and so on. I just don't have an appetite, which is common for me in the summer. I've also had a lot less money so I can't afford to eat as much and I probably won't for a while. I tried protein shakes in the past but I don't trust whey protein powder but maybe I can find a substitute.

TheFitFatty
08-14-16, 02:24 AM
I had this great app that would track my calorie intake and, based on my current weight and how much weight I wanted to gain/lose/keep, it gave me a daily calorie recommendation. When I started using that is when I started to eat a lot less. I also stopped using it because it took so much effort to find the products, especially if I ate a salad of fresh ingredients. But I think I'll start it again with the goal of maintaining my weight (which is now 116 lbs and I'm 5'2 which is apparently a healthy weight). And I definitely still eat some junk food lol. I bought a bag of flamin hot munchies the other day and Taco Bell the other day and so on. I just don't have an appetite, which is common for me in the summer. I've also had a lot less money so I can't afford to eat as much and I probably won't for a while. I tried protein shakes in the past but I don't trust whey protein powder but maybe I can find a substitute.


Are you vegan? I put two raw eggs in my shakes. Even though I'm a weightlifter, I despise protein powders. However, if you're vegan eggs' not going to work. :D

Was it Myfitnesspal you used? I did have the issue in the past, when I was using MFP and Weight Watchers online that I would try to under eat as much as possible. In my head I figured that had to be better for weight loss than eating the allotted points or calories. It always backfired horribly in the end. :( So I don't calorie count anymore. Now I'm just trying to make sure I eat a certain amount of veg, protein and fat everyday.

Socaljaxs
08-14-16, 03:44 AM
Sarahsweets from what I have read in this thread alone, pretty much termed the issue pretty clearly and correctly, in my opinion( I'm not a,professional nor do,I play one on tv). My opinion is based solely on what I've read, in this thread and my personal experiences... But as Sarahsweets mentioned it sounds like you have a very unhealthy relationship with food., which is "disordered eating"

Sadly, it's a very common eating disorder that many people of all ages, and gender experience. It is not something that can be fixed by an app or eating more or less junk/healthy food, or counting calories... It is something that is deeply rooted and planted inside of us and not something that stems overnight....

It's how we look and how we view food (our relationship with food) and also how we treat/acknowledge/talk to ourselves before/during/ after we consume or refuse to consume food.. Simple either/or type of example.. indulging in a slice of cake., for some people It is "too much sugar, i'm full" or not even that since they "stop once satisfied" other than uncomfortable with being full they move on.. They don't self hate or feel guilty for eating it... For many people however, we may feel guilty for binging and/or overeating and going over calories ext, and start to obsess about how they can "work it off" and/or "eat less" and figuring out how they can "crash diet" starve, detox.. That thinking then turns to guilt and then turns to self-bullying name-calling and self-hatred of "ugh this is why your fat, and insert more,and more derogative self-loathing statements....that's the unhealthy relationship with food.

Today's society (tmedia, common forms of PR and marketing , the fashion industry ext) puts a lot of unrealistic pressure to conform to what is considered that day to be beautiful.. I remember thigh gaps being an ideal thing and the next no gaps, and the impossible body types that are not the norm and are airbrushed and photoshopped are what to strive for to be considered beautiful.

I speak from a person with body dismorfia and working in correcting my unhealthy relationship with food. I've battled with weight my entire adult life. My relationship with my self and food is not perfect but it is something I am working in and have sought help,for as well since it isn't easy to overcome.

http://www.printfriendly.com/print/?source=homepage&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.quickanddirtytips.com%2Fhealt h-fitness%2Fmental-health%2Fdisordered-eating-9-signs-of-an-unhealthy-relationship-with-food

Unmanagable
08-14-16, 09:04 AM
The view from where I stand is...........when our entire food system is disordered, it's really difficult to escape disordered eating.

I never realized food was such a significant issue, even though I was always overweight and sickly, because NONE of the medical arenas I sought out for care and help in ever made it an issue or started a discussion about my choices and lifestyle, so I always assumed things I suffered so greatly from could never be because of the food stuffs.

Only once I'd drastically changed everything, without the help of the typical helpers we're taught to seek out, did I find effective and lasting relief and answers to problems I thought I'd never find or experience.

TheFitFatty
08-15-16, 06:29 AM
when our entire food system is disordered, it's really difficult to escape disordered eating.



I know! As as a society we've totally lost sight of what is and isn't healthy eating. I don't even know where to start some days! fats good, fats bad, carbs are good, carbs are bad.

The only thing certain is that everyone keeps getting fatter regardless!

julialouise
10-10-16, 10:55 PM
I'm down to about 110 lbs ): when i made this post i think i said i was 120-125, and shortly after I went down to 118.

i haven't been able to make an active effort to eat more because i've been way too stressed and honestly i get so distracted by other things that i forget to eat, even when i have food right in front of me, lol

but my cheeks have gotten sunken in and i REALLY hate it. i'll never hate my body for being plush again. i just want like at least 10 lbs back ): it's also just hard to have an appetite big enough to eat as much as i need.

BellaVita
10-11-16, 06:59 AM
I don't honestly know much about eating disorders, I've never struggled with one.

I know how you feel about stress and not eating, or at least I can relate. When I reach a certain level of stress, I simply cannot eat. My body gets so tense and my anxiety so high and my stomach gets in knots.

Also when I'm in a Crohn's flare-up I dread eating sometimes because like clockwork 1-2 hrs after the meal I get very bad intestinal pain to the point I can't walk at times. (I'm guessing the food is passing through the inflamed intestines or something - sometimes feels like fire passing through my body or boiling water)

Also - I've noticed I actually eat more when I'm happier.

I drink a special glucose drink sometimes. It's when I can't get to a meal and I feel very weak and shaky. It's for diabetics and I'm not diabetic but I've struggled with blood sugar sensitivities since I was a kid.

Or, I drink a cup of chocolate soy milk.

It helps also when I'm unable to force myself to eat a real meal right away.

Maybe something like that would help you?

I hope you can get back to the weight that makes you feel good. Don't be too hard on yourself.

julialouise
10-11-16, 01:59 PM
@bellavita

Sugary things definitely help give me more of an appetite. It just sucks because I don't want to eat so much sugar. I've had a "sugar addiction" for as long as I can remember, lol. But yeah, it's just hard because it's my first time living on my own (with roommates) and I'm not on the meal plan at school anymore so I have to shop and cook for myself. I'm still figuring it all out ):

C15H25N3O
12-07-16, 06:09 PM
Especially industrial sugar is pure poison. It destroys your guts flora and supports the "bad"
guts bacteria which can make someone end in diabetes. It also increases bad LDL-cholesterine.

Sugar, wheat flour and carbonic acid are the main reason for gastro intestinal diseases.