View Full Version : Demoted at my job


anonymouslyadd
06-16-16, 12:43 AM
I was demoted tonight. I didn't accomplish the one thing my boss wanted me to accomplish and he has me doing some of the regular tasks that my colleagues are doing. I need some support and encouragement for how to handle this situation better in the future.

I wish he would have asked me throughout the day where I was with the assignment. I guess I'll always reach out to someone to give them a chance.

My boss is a type A personality and is very aggressive. He's never satisfied with results, even if they're good, as he seems to find something else wrong to focus on. To complicate matters, I am living with him until the project is over, which will be done soon.

I hope to learn what I need to learn so it doesn't happen again. Of course, my boss is difficult to work for, probably one of the hardest ones in my life. He changes his mind constantly, acts impulsive and then wonders why he didn't plan it better to begin with.

I've learned a lot and have stood up for myself. I did many good things and some not so good things. I'm going to be upset with myself that I didn't accomplish the one thing he wanted me to accomplish. That's frustrating. I guess I'll put an alert in my phone and have it go off every hour next time.

stef
06-16-16, 08:40 AM
Anon my boss is type A, agressive and rarely satisfied with results. Or he is but he is never "overall satisfied" ever, with performance in general, and his philosophy is to put all this pressure on. But, he is consistent and that's how he treats himself as well (I've heard him talking to himself actually).

I've also worked for "vague and/or impulsive but good tempered/fun", that's an entirely different set of problems.

If he ALSO changed his mind constantly, I would not be in this job anymore. I can barely keep up, let alone "plan ahead" (which I am expected to do but he works so fast anyway, it's pointless)

That is just a nearly impossible combination for ANYONE to deal with.:grouphug:

Unmanagable
06-16-16, 08:46 AM
Hope things start to look up and feel more comfortable once you're free from those energies.

I can't imagine living with a boss. That would kick my stress levels into turbo before I even had a chance to get to the work.

Hats off to you for remaining immersed in the experience. Yet another stepping stone in this thing called life. Ugh.

(((Hugs)))

Fuzzy12
06-16-16, 09:14 AM
I'm sorry this happened. Do you know what exactly went wrong? Did you know that this was the one job he really wanted you to do? If not he really needs to let you know next time before the deadline.

finallyfound10
06-16-16, 09:35 AM
I'm sorry this has happened to you.

He changes his mind constantly, acts impulsive and then wonders why he didn't plan it better to begin with.

This is a big reason why he's never satisfied. Don't blame yourself.

acdc01
06-16-16, 12:12 PM
There's no way to satisfy bosses like that (unless you are an extremely good kiss ***) so don't feel bad about your mistake - it doesn't matter. He would have found something else to nitpick on.

I'd consider transferring to a different department if you still have to work with him or getting a new job. You'll be happier. And this mistake wouldn't have mattered.

salleh
06-16-16, 01:59 PM
.....well this sucks eh? ...I know that jobs are harder and harder to find these days ....but it couldn't hurt to start thinking in that direction, but if you are tuned into him from long experience, sometimes it's better to keep with the bad you know...a new job is no guarentee that you'll land in a better position .... ....how long have you worked for this guy ? ....

.....BUt you can be proud of yourself for not freaking out, and just deciding to do better the next time .....it does sound like maybe you might consider taking care of his special projects first all the time ....then, you don't have to worry about priorities ....if he then decides that you should do reg work first, then point out to him that he behaves ( not the best word but you get what I am trying to say) as if his projects come first ....

.....that's all I got .....I deal with a very difficult roommate all the time, every time he gets mad ....I am blindsided by his anger ...cause i never know what is going to set him off ....but I am really stuck there ...( very long story) ....but at least I am my own boss ....so i kinda have a clue what you're talking about ....but staying there makes life walking on eggshells 24/7 .....and that is unsustainable for any length of time, for your sanity if nothing else ....

....keep us updated 'k? ....

midnightstar
06-16-16, 05:05 PM
(((((anon))))) sorry to hear that, hope you can either work your way back up or find another job, whichever you'd prefer :grouphug:

Gypsy Willow
06-16-16, 05:31 PM
*hugs* Anon. I'm sorry you're are dealing with crap at work.

anonymouslyadd
06-16-16, 08:08 PM
I'm sorry this happened. Do you know what exactly went wrong? Did you know that this was the one job he really wanted you to do? If not he really needs to let you know next time before the deadline.
I had numerous things happening during the day, and I dropped the ball. He could have called to check up but he probably would have told me that he shouldn't have to.

When he's focused on something, that's the only thing that matters. Nothing else.

I'm so ******* embarassed, Fuzzy. :(

I got a ******* idea: How about I sleep with his married sister, who has been flirting with me incessantly since I came here?

anonymouslyadd
06-16-16, 08:18 PM
Anon my boss is type A, agressive and rarely satisfied with results. Or he is but he is never "overall satisfied" ever, with performance in general, and his philosophy is to put all this pressure on. But, he is consistent and that's how he treats himself as well (I've heard him talking to himself actually).

I've also worked for "vague and/or impulsive but good tempered/fun", that's an entirely different set of problems.

If he ALSO changed his mind constantly, I would not be in this job anymore. I can barely keep up, let alone "plan ahead" (which I am expected to do but he works so fast anyway, it's pointless)

That is just a nearly impossible combination for ANYONE to deal with.:grouphug:
I was tasked with his schedule and one Saturday he was supposed to go to this area and work there. Instead, he got his suit tailored and went to an event. Later on in the day, he did what I wanted him to do.

anonymouslyadd
06-17-16, 07:16 PM
This guy is nuts. He came to me yesterday and asked me to work on something else for him. I like the work and love the industry so I jumped at the chance.

I'm trying not to feel hurt or anything. Seeing things being done that I was supposed to do bothers me. I like being part of things. I like being involved.

Do I tell people I know that I've been demoted? Do I tell people in my field that I've been demoted? There are relationships that I have that are important to me.

Fuzzy12
06-17-16, 07:53 PM
I had numerous things happening during the day, and I dropped the ball. He could have called to check up but he probably would have told me that he shouldn't have to.

When he's focused on something, that's the only thing that matters. Nothing else.

I'm so ******* embarassed, Fuzzy. :(

I got a ******* idea: How about I sleep with his married sister, who has been flirting with me incessantly since I came here?

I think you are being too harsh on yourself. Just because your boss is too harsh on you doesn't mean that he's right. Maybe you made a mistake but we all do and it seems like your boss makes tons of mistakes.

Rebelyell
06-17-16, 11:48 PM
This day an age it isn't worth being loyal to most bosses,suck the blood all out of you an the stone throw ya away like a piece of dog crap when there done with you

anonymouslyadd
06-18-16, 12:02 AM
This day an age it isn't worth being loyal to most bosses,suck the blood all out of you an the stone throw ya away like a piece of dog crap when there done with you
I've never had a boss like this. I've had good and bad bosses.

stef
06-18-16, 03:30 AM
This guy is nuts. He came to me yesterday and asked me to work on something else for him. I like the work and love the industry so I jumped at the chance.

I'm trying not to feel hurt or anything. Seeing things being done that I was supposed to do bothers me. I like being part of things. I like being involved.

Do I tell people I know that I've been demoted? Do I tell people in my field that I've been demoted? There are relationships that I have that are important to me.

you dont have to tell anyone unless you really worked closely with them and its strange for you not to be contacting them.

hey just say you have a "new assignment"

and yeah hes nuts. but he must appreciate you if he asked for your help.
remember hes nuts try and keep some distance

Free to Fly
06-18-16, 09:07 AM
When he's focused on something, that's the only thing that matters. Nothing else.

I got a ******* idea: How about I sleep with his married sister, who has been flirting with me incessantly since I came here?

ADD boss?

And is the sister good looking? Might make for an interesting Sunday dinner.

Jselwocki
06-18-16, 10:42 AM
Have you been to a life coach at all? I feel it would be a big help to you. I've been doing this expert ADHD .com thing. It's expensive but I feel like it's helping me. The coach gives me strategies to help with symptoms specific to me. At work I get scattered too. Don't be down on yourself but don't be complacent either. We have to work harder to keep focused. So although your boss may not have your best interest try not to throw all the blame to him. I had a similar situation except I got fired. I would get emotionally activated causing me to argue with my boss all the time instead of just doing what I was told. Anyway hope you're doing well.

anonymouslyadd
06-18-16, 11:47 PM
ADD boss?

And is the sister good looking? Might make for an interesting Sunday dinner.
Yea, she's pretty. That's another nightmare to this story.

I doubt that he has ADD.

anonymouslyadd
06-18-16, 11:49 PM
Have you been to a life coach at all? I feel it would be a big help to you. I've been doing this expert ADHD .com thing. It's expensive but I feel like it's helping me. The coach gives me strategies to help with symptoms specific to me. At work I get scattered too. Don't be down on yourself but don't be complacent either. We have to work harder to keep focused. So although your boss may not have your best interest try not to throw all the blame to him. I had a similar situation except I got fired. I would get emotionally activated causing me to argue with my boss all the time instead of just doing what I was told. Anyway hope you're doing well.
I have. She was great but very expensive.

Doing what I'm told without arguing is something I hope I'm better at.

Gilthranon
06-19-16, 03:54 AM
Dude that sux

Like a vacuumcleaner on acid at a saturday night on liquor trying to find a diamond

Good luck mate

You're too good for it anyway !

meadd823
06-19-16, 05:35 AM
I could not live with my boss unless I was married to him .... then if he was a but-hole I would tie his ankles together in the wee hours of the morning and yell "fire"!


I would not sleep with the married sister it will only make a bad situation complicated, who needs complicated ....

anonymouslyadd
06-20-16, 09:20 PM
I would not sleep with the married sister it will only make a bad situation complicated, who needs complicated ....
Why not go out with a bang? :rolleyes::cool:

I'm just not happy with how I've been treated.

anonymouslyadd
06-20-16, 11:53 PM
I was going to get my boss' mom flowers, but since he seemed so stressed out, I let it go. Now, I'm definitely getting her flowers, and maybe he'll learn the importance of showing appreciation to people.

Tetrahedra
06-22-16, 02:15 AM
Anon, you have an odd situation there, and I hope things smooth out soon.

But as far as advice, I have to say that differentiating between what you could control and what he can control is very important. If you can identify where you went wrong in this scenario, do it. And understand that it might be greater than just this one particular incident; there may have been things that lead up to it. But once you understand what you did wrong, you have more power over the situation and can seek help to overcome your weaknesses.

But it's also important to identify what components in this story are your boss' fault. You can't change your boss, and you can't take responsibility for his issues. Please don't feel bad that you couldn't fully cater to the whims of someone who can't give you consistent feedback or task information.

If possible--if it's not to awkward--you could potentially talk to him to see what you could do better in the future to avoid this situation from happening again. Unfortunately without knowing fully what's going on, I can't offer specific advice on this because I don't want to tell you the wrong thing, so if you decide to go down this path at any point, you'll have to construct it yourself.

You hit a roadblock. You made mistakes. Your boss made mistakes. It's a learning process, and you'll bounce back from this and use it to better yourself for the future, maybe not at this job but at the next. Still, it sucks that it happened and I'm sorry that you got demoted. It's a ****ty feeling, and I hope that in the end you'll be okay.