View Full Version : Overworked situation


Gilthranon
06-24-16, 06:44 PM
At the end of a nice day I was talking with the mother of a great friend of mine. We always got along and since my travels we managed to get closer and more confident. Which, alone on the terrace led to more intimate opening up. She joked how much my father really lives on his own planet, my mother sometimes too. And I told her how the overwork over the last years in combination with his stubborn have-to-fight-to-get-there my way or the highway led to frequent intense moments n our households.

Now I see a big difference between the man who is my father, and the overworked overcharged with responsibilities 'leader' who has a high temperament and can fire off at criticism which makes me sometimes glad he's traveling because my social anxiety (near gone) makes me walk on eggshells, and, quite frankly, with, based on experiences, good reason. My mother even agrees some outsiders may have a hard time living with someone like this. But I judge those people because the context isn't one he chose.
HOWever, his ADD (which, to my high frustration, neither of my parents ever admitted despite me having to fight in this world with medication, judgement, rejection and people) drives him to overfocus on his job and at some days we suffer the consequences of being second priority (in this case that means tensions and taboo). On my birthday, when you come home, one day a year, please don't first rant for an hour =(

I enjoy my parents, they are amazing, good role models, and when we have good times, they are funny, relaxed, wise and inspirational. And I wouldn't dream of even hinting on overlooking the support and love, but I just wish, outside of those relaxed moments, in everyday moments, I wouldn't have to worry saying anything he dislikes for having to fear his reaction which is disproportionate.

Because to see my father grow white hair and having to live in discomfort with the result of worse-than-terrorism society's evil - it affects us :(


I certainly aren't perfect, maybe even childish about this, it's ok to think so, in irrational states I find it hard to judge myself :) Everything is fine and sorry for the rant. It's a many years build up. Every family has its itches. It's no biggy, for real, I just have an overstressed father and it affects the health of relations and I remember how he used to be: I hate society for this. Worse than terrorism.

Gilthranon
06-25-16, 05:45 AM
This came over wrong didn't it ?

stef
06-25-16, 06:22 AM
Not at all

Unmanagable
06-25-16, 07:52 AM
It came across perfectly clear to me, and I can relate. Society has managed to screw up a lot of families based on the expectations of "normalcy" and the overwhelming slavery conditions. And it isn't getting any more user-friendly as time passes. That's why I spend so much time alone within, and alone without.

Laserbeak
06-25-16, 10:51 AM
My father sadly died unexpectedly (plane crash) when I was 15, but I still remember him quite well. And, yes, he was like two different people at home and at work.

He was a plastic and reconstructive surgeon so he had to see patients. I went on rounds a few times with him to see his hospitalized patients, but usually got stuck in the waiting room.

I also spent a lot of time in his office, and worked there in the summers when i got a bit older doing filing, fixing the computer, etc.

I may have told this story before, but as an aside, one night he left me in his office and it took him hours to do his rounds at the nearby office and I got adventurous and started snooping around. Guess what I found?

A HUGE bottle of Cocaine HCl USP CII! I was tempted but didn't try it! Plastic surgeons use it for surgeries where they have to numb mucous membranes, such as nose jobs (rhinoplasties). And he did plenty of those lol!

Gilthranon
06-25-16, 11:17 AM
My father sadly died unexpectedly (plane crash) when I was 15, but I still remember him quite well. And, yes, he was like two different people at home and at work.

He was a plastic and reconstructive surgeon so he had to see patients. I went on rounds a few times with him to see his hospitalized patients, but usually got stuck in the waiting room.

I also spent a lot of time in his office, and worked there in the summers when i got a bit older doing filing, fixing the computer, etc.

I may have told this story before, but as an aside, one night he left me in his office and it took him hours to do his rounds at the nearby office and I got adventurous and started snooping around. Guess what I found?

A HUGE bottle of Cocaine HCl USP CII! I was tempted but didn't try it! Plastic surgeons use it for surgeries where they have to numb mucous membranes, such as nose jobs (rhinoplasties). And he did plenty of those lol!
I'm so absolutely sorry to hear about your father's passing, you must've been devastated. That's horrible. Hope you managed to make your peace with it and only good memories (such as this one ? :D ) Hope you can laugh about it yet - also thnx for sharing, on this topic means a lot

Laserbeak
06-25-16, 11:36 AM
No prob, it obviously still upsets me to some extent but it was a LONG time ago (1989).