View Full Version : How to You Gracefully "Bow Out" of A Job


Gypsy Willow
06-28-16, 09:41 AM
...when it's not a good fit due to the ADD? Lie? Say you have another job offer? Tell them you're moving to Tahiti? Because God knows, if you tell them you suffer ADD and feel the need to find a "better fit", all they do is freakin' argue with you about it and tell you it's not real, or you are giving up too soon, etc.

I'm on a job that is WAY to distracting and chaotic and I can't get the ADD medication because I have no insurance yet.

I'm getting corrected on little stupid mistakes that I make because of all the interruptions.

The stress of this is making me have other health issues and I just don't know what to do.

In theory, this is a great job. Good benefits, retirement, etc. But I'm miserable and once again, am facing another "failure" due to this condition of inattentive ADD. And the harder I try, the more mistakes I make.

I feel trapped and helpless.

Fuzzy12
06-28-16, 09:44 AM
Are you asking how to inform your employer gently that you are leaving?

Just tell them thanks for the opportunity they've given you but you are moving on to something that's a better fit (no need to get into details) and you hope you will stay in touch.

If you want to be extra nice you can ask what you can do to make the transition for them easier (e.g. training your replacement or documenting your work so your replacement will find it easier to start where you stopped, etc)

Gypsy Willow
06-28-16, 09:49 AM
Are you asking how to inform your employer gently that you are leaving?

Just tell them thanks for the opportunity they've given you but you are moving on to something that's a better fit (no need to get into details) and you hope you will stay in touch.

If you want to be extra nice you can ask what you can do to make the transition for them easier (e.g. training your replacement or documenting your work so your replacement will find it easier to start where you stopped, etc)

I'm just frustrated that I can't find my "home". That "right" fit. That "right" job that I can do. Oh sure....there are jobs I can "do" but they don't pay enough for me to survive on. I don't have another job offer yet either. I'm miserable.

But what you advised is very good. Thanks!

Fuzzy12
06-28-16, 11:20 AM
I'm in a similar situation. Can't find the right fit. I love parts of what I'm doing now but hate some other parts of it and absolutely suck at those. It's been like that with every job I've had.

Gypsy Willow
06-28-16, 11:31 AM
I'm in a similar situation. Can't find the right fit. I love parts of what I'm doing now but hate some other parts of it and absolutely suck at those. It's been like that with every job I've had.

Me too! It's much more manageable with the meds but without them......UGGHHH!!!

Tetrahedra
06-28-16, 08:47 PM
Is there a way you can stick it out until you can get insurance? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I would assume that if there are good benefits, it would include health insurance, and you would therefore just have to wait until it kicks in. If you enjoy the job and think medicine is what's going to make the difference, it might be worthwhile to consider sticking it out.

The other thing to consider is that no one is perfect at their jobs. Are you underestimating your abilities? Are there minor adjustments that can be made to help you become better adjusted with this job? Does your job allow you to have more of a distraction-free setting?

If you are leaving, I agree with Fuzzy12. There is no need to tell them about ADHD. You might even be able to google search ideas for how to submit a two weeks' notice.

Gypsy Willow
05-17-17, 12:11 PM
I stuck it out and couldn't be happier! I actually just got back on Adderall (wanted to see how long I could function without it but the anxiety and brain fog started returning) and handled the job fine. The evil, mean boss retired and the new boss is awesome! Got a great raise too!

finallyfound10
05-21-17, 11:38 PM
I stuck it out and couldn't be happier! I actually just got back on Adderall (wanted to see how long I could function without it but the anxiety and brain fog started returning) and handled the job fine. The evil, mean boss retired and the new boss is awesome! Got a great raise too!

:yes:

Thank you for the follow up!!

psychopathetic
05-22-17, 06:25 AM
I stuck it out and couldn't be happier! I actually just got back on Adderall (wanted to see how long I could function without it but the anxiety and brain fog started returning) and handled the job fine. The evil, mean boss retired and the new boss is awesome! Got a great raise too!

omfg that's amazing! :yes: haha I just realized I said that out loud in the 3d world! :lol:

Freaking awesome that you ended up sticking it out! I SOOOO wish I'd have stuck my last out. I think it would've become my 'forever' job.

Gypsy Willow
02-07-18, 06:31 PM
I stuck it out and couldn't be happier! I actually just got back on Adderall (wanted to see how long I could function without it but the anxiety and brain fog started returning) and handled the job fine. The evil, mean boss retired and the new boss is awesome! Got a great raise too!

Well, my last day is Feb 23rd. Too much. I lost a sibling in January and the way I was treated by co workers when I had to leave in the middle of the day, was a nightmare. And the way I was treated by two of them when I returned from the bereavement leave was reprehensible. I was weepy that first day, couldn't focus. The Adderall doesn't do too terribly much when you are in mourning. One of them thought I was "mad" at her (because afterall, one's grief is ALL about some selfish, immature person.) Well she goes and turns another co worker against me so neither one has spoken to me. LOL! So I speak to them and they are the ones who look like an ***.

I had gotten pneumonia in December, then the sibling died, then I had a relapse and just can't take it anymore. I couldn't focus at all. The Adderall helps in every other scenario but this job. The hostility. The toxicity. The immature distractions.

The really cool boss we got in May? He left in November. Not even 5 months. What does that say when the good people leave.

I don't have another job yet. I'll just go back to temp work.

This is when ADD really sucks.

finallyfound10
02-07-18, 06:36 PM
(((Gypsy Willow)))

Fraser_0762
02-07-18, 06:38 PM
Well done for hanging in there.

aeon
02-07-18, 06:50 PM
Do a pirouette on your way out the door as you wield your Kalashnikov? :lol:


Best Wishes,
Ian

Fuzzy12
02-07-18, 08:04 PM
Well, my last day is Feb 23rd. Too much. I lost a sibling in January and the way I was treated by co workers when I had to leave in the middle of the day, was a nightmare. And the way I was treated by two of them when I returned from the bereavement leave was reprehensible. I was weepy that first day, couldn't focus. The Adderall doesn't do too terribly much when you are in mourning. One of them thought I was "mad" at her (because afterall, one's grief is ALL about some selfish, immature person.) Well she goes and turns another co worker against me so neither one has spoken to me. LOL! So I speak to them and they are the ones who look like an ***.

I had gotten pneumonia in December, then the sibling died, then I had a relapse and just can't take it anymore. I couldn't focus at all. The Adderall helps in every other scenario but this job. The hostility. The toxicity. The immature distractions.

The really cool boss we got in May? He left in November. Not even 5 months. What does that say when the good people leave.

I don't have another job yet. I'll just go back to temp work.

This is when ADD really sucks.


I'm so sorry about your sibling. That must be so tough to then have to go back to work and function. ADHD sucks and so can life. Hope things will look up for you soon again!!

sarahsweets
02-08-18, 04:36 AM
You do not owe anyone an explanation. If you have to leave its just time to move on.

stef
02-08-18, 07:29 AM
There may always be conflicts with certain colleagues at a job, but please keep in mind that how you were treated is NOT the norm; I've worked in a lot of places and I've never seen anything like that. I'm sure you didn't want to be fired, but what a relief to be out of there! :grouphug:

Gypsy Willow
02-08-18, 02:36 PM
There may always be conflicts with certain colleagues at a job, but please keep in mind that how you were treated is NOT the norm; I've worked in a lot of places and I've never seen anything like that. I'm sure you didn't want to be fired, but what a relief to be out of there! :grouphug:

Thank you! The few friends I've shared the stories with re: co workers and where I work, are flabbergasted. They cannot believe the way I was treated.

allesandro1
02-23-18, 02:04 PM
I think one's first obligation is to oneself i.e. if the situation was turned around and the employer didn't think it was a good fit would they agonize over giving you your walking papers? Hardly. take care of yourself, that's something I learned the hard way---it's not worth agonizing over, and sacrificing your health over the stress of it all. Do what's best for you

Gypsy Willow
02-23-18, 07:09 PM
I think one's first obligation is to oneself i.e. if the situation was turned around and the employer didn't think it was a good fit would they agonize over giving you your walking papers? Hardly. take care of yourself, that's something I learned the hard way---it's not worth agonizing over, and sacrificing your health over the stress of it all. Do what's best for you


Exactly!