I am not sure if this ADD related, but maybe some of you who have ADD have experienced this. I would like to see if it is common among ADDers...

Many times I do not have a lot of time to spend in front of the mirror...there is the usual grooming, hair, make-up, brushing teeth.


But sometimes I will tend to get hung up on one feature of my face and worry over it....like the shape of my nose, or my skin, or a certain line or freckle.

This feature will take all focus from whatever grooming task I may be trying to complete and can really cause problems with my getting places on time.
I am assuming this may be some kind of hyperfocus? In this I can see an ADD possibility.



But here is the thing that has me puzzled.....





Next thing....maybe should be a separate thread, but
sometimes I look in the mirror and I am simply not there.
Not like a vampire :D


But I look at myself and it is not me.

My face is unrecognizable. I have a strange feeling of not belonging to my body. I wonder.... who is that in the mirror?

I try to reconnect, but I am just not there.
I have styled my hair, fixed my face, dressed head-to-toe.
I smile.

But it is not my face....I am just not there.


Anyone else have a similar experience?


~gourmet~

I tend to focus on my hair color or my ears. With short hair I look like Dumbo.

I find that my mental image of myself does not match what I see in the mirror. I'm often confused that I look as old as I do since I do not feel old inside if that makes any sense. I still feel young but I notice crow's feet around my eyes, I still feel giggly but I notice stress lines on my forehead sometimes it completly baffles me and I can stand there looking at myself for or one feature for minutes at a time.

NF you do not look your age! :)

Most times I feel younger than I look, but sometimes I do see my older self, or my ugly self, or even my beautiful self....... and I don't always like what I see.
Sometimes I look really cool or even foxy, and of course there are the plain Jane days.

But the strange thing I am referring to is that I think "who is that?" Does she belong to me? Almost as if my soul were not attached to my physical body. It is a very curious feeling. The face does not tell me who I am in any way and is unrevealing.

I do the same thing. The good thing is that I accepted that I am one ugly cuss many years ago. So now I say "I don't recognize that ugly guy in the mirror... and that's a good thing!"

:)

It sure has saved me some time over the years. If I was moderately good looking or even not frightening - I bet it would bug me more.

I feel like you Futs, when i look at myself i see this old woman.. And i feel inside like i am 18 yrs old. Maybe that is why people stare at me when i act like i am 18. They see an old barf being stupid LOL...ok i am exagerating. Also the weight loss as made my face drop i guess lol...i feel like i look like i am 50 yrs old, and i am only 41 yrs old :eek: :eyebrow: :faint:

I know i need to get over this, but i am having a hard time.

I tend to focus on my hair color or my ears. With short hair I look like Dumbo.

I find that my mental image of myself does not match what I see in the mirror. I'm often confused that I look as old as I do since I do not feel old inside if that makes any sense. I still feel young but I notice crow's feet around my eyes, I still feel giggly but I notice stress lines on my forehead sometimes it completly baffles me and I can stand there looking at myself for or one feature for minutes at a time.

I'm not exactly sure if I'm experiancing the samething as you then gourmet; but, I think perhaps my mother is. I caught her a couple of weeks back looking at herself in the mirror and when I asked what she was doing jokingly she told me she didn't even know who was looking at her. Concerned due to her unstable diabetes I questioned her further which she explained that yesterday she did not look like that, she looked like her but today there are wrinkles and lines and age spots she said she felt like someone had stolen her essence and put it in an old body. My mother has not bothered with make up her entire life and has always worn her long hair in a pony tail or braid; but, lately there are subtle changes that have kind of worried me she has started wearing make up more and more and her hair has been cut in three different styles in the last month which makes me worry about depression. I think it would be hard to wake up one morning and realize your face and body have aged 30 years from the last time you looked.

Thanks NF-
I did like your mother did the when I turned 49..........ahem,mmmmm, 30, yeah that's the ticket.....

Anyway,
I was going through some depression and my age just hit me in the face overnight.

My eyes began doing that "thing" that middles get and I think I was having a body image crisis? I have heard that is something real that people might feel when they are diagnosed with a serious illness, such as heart disease. Are you familiar with that?


Motorbrain, hmmmmmm.....I am still not sure we are on the same page.....I think this
that I am experiencing
is similar to what people describe happening to them on the operating table....they are out of their body looking down and it is all so strange. You know that it is you but it is so unfamiliar......not your self, only a body you do not know.

I wonder if it is stress related, maybe not ADD at all.....or am I a sureal woman living in a real world?

Thanks NF-
I did like your mother did the when I turned 49..........ahem,mmmmm, 30, yeah that's the ticket.....I did it last year when I turned 31. I somehow lost a year of my life and truly believed I was only going to be 30 which was hard enough and then when my daughter said "30 again mom ?" My husband had to prove on paper that she was right. So, last year I did not get a year older in my mind but two years older. :eek:

Anyway,
I was going through some depression and my age just hit me in the face overnight.

My eyes began doing that "thing" that middles get and I think I was having a body image crisis? I have heard that is something real that people might feel when they are diagnosed with a serious illness, such as heart disease. Are you familiar with that?I have not heard of any real medical information to confirm nor deny. But, with personal experiance I would say its truly a real issue. When I was dx'd with my first breast lump I started realizing how old my body was getting and was confused on why my mind couldn't seem to keep my body and mind together. Its a strange feeling to feel young but have problems usually associated with old age.

My mother has recently been dx'd with diabetes and takes an oral med and has had two heart attacks, not to mention an unchecked, unmedicated anxiety disorder she is too ashamed to speak to our doctor about. I also think there are definatly some issues with depression. I've talked to our doctor and she is going in for a fasting in two weeks when she gets back from California and he will discuss these issues with her as though its something she may face with her recent dx and hopefully he will be able to create a comfort level so she'll open up some to him.

I wonder if it is stress related, maybe not ADD at all.....or am I a sureal woman living in a real world? Is it such a bad thing? I mean having a healthier mental image of myself rather then that of what people see gives me a confidance not found in many women my age. I mean I know I'm not beautiful by any means and that my looks have their limits but in my minds eye I'm limitless. :D

I just don't see your last paragraph as being a complete flaw; but, rather maybe an assett in a world where women are so concerned with physical beauty. IMHO a woman who is size 16 with curves and a personality is far more attractive to a waif who is always concerned about her weight. Am I making any sense? Are you feeling any better?

Thanks NF-


Motorbrain, hmmmmmm.....I am still not sure we are on the same page.....I think this
that I am experiencing
is similar to what people describe happening to them on the operating table....they are out of their body looking down and it is all so strange. You know that it is you but it is so unfamiliar......not your self, only a body you do not know.



Oh it's exactly the same for me. I notice that when I am focused on something for a long period of time and the project ends - it's even worse.

I guess I just figured out a way for myself to deal with it. Oddball as the solution might sound.

chain has a poll that fits in with this topic :)

http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17702

That was interesting thanks for sharing the link I doubt I would have seen it on my own or that it would have caught my eye.

You're Welcome Futs
I find this interesting also.

Ok NF:) Thanks.
You are right……not a flaw, just interesting. Well grounded is not necessarily me....more like somewhere in the sky with the little birdies.

I feel great......:) happy enough with my weight...about 5 pounds off. Enough curves, definitely not a waif....so I agree!!! We are probably a couple of beauties;) (snicker)

Ups and downs highs and lows.....but not 39 anymore, thank god.
39 was worse than 40...don't know why, maybe anticipation of the slope?
Not depressed now. A little confused.

This phenomenon has a name I think. Not a body image problem like the age or illness thing. I feel an urge to google.

Stori.. thanks for the link. It actually inspired me for this thread but I don't believe this is related to any sort of body image problem or eating disorder.

Must be deep or mental or more of a spiritual nature? I am curious when and why it happens. Because so far it's me and Motorbrain, me thinks :)


Imagine this...maybe it is a similar thing, and surely everyone has this once in a while.

Do you ever, as a being on this earth, get an overwhelming sense of the enormity of the world and how we are included and you look around and think "where the ****am I ?" How did I land here and why HERE?

Who am I and how did I get here? All your faith and knowledge and connection goes straight out the window and you are just freaked out? The trees are not trees, the sky is beyond understanding, and am I in my physical body?
And you are not on drugs…don’t take drugs.

The realness returns, but the trip is somewhere unfamiliar.
Where did my face go?

~gourmet~

Gourmet I'm sorry but I have to disagree with you.
These things can all be related to each other.
And the concern was not to confuse or mislead those struggling with an eating disorder or a body image problem.

Ok NF:) Thanks.
You are right……not a flaw, just interesting. Well grounded is not necessarily me....more like somewhere in the sky with the little birdies.

I feel great......:) happy enough with my weight...about 5 pounds off. Enough curves, definitely not a waif....so I agree!!! We are probably a couple of beauties;) (snicker)As long as my husband finds me desirable I'm happy. :D

Ups and downs highs and lows.....but not 39 anymore, thank god.
39 was worse than 40...don't know why, maybe anticipation of the slope?
Not depressed now. A little confused.I'm confused by how fast the years seem to be going. When I was a kid it seemed like a year was forever and a day; but, the older I get a year feels like a week maybe.

This phenomenon has a name I think. Not a body image problem like the age or illness thing. I feel an urge to google.

Stori.. thanks for the link. It actually inspired me for this thread but I don't believe this is related to any sort of body image problem or eating disorder.

Must be deep or mental or more of a spiritual nature? I am curious when and why it happens. Because so far it's me and Motorbrain, me thinks :)


Imagine this...maybe it is a similar thing, and surely everyone has this once in a while.

Do you ever, as a being on this earth, get an overwhelming sense of the enormity of the world and how we are included and you look around and think "where the ****am I ?" How did I land here and why HERE?

Who am I and how did I get here? All your faith and knowledge and connection goes straight out the window and you are just freaked out? The trees are not trees, the sky is beyond understanding, and am I in my physical body?
And you are not on drugs…don’t take drugs.

The realness returns, but the trip is somewhere unfamiliar.
Where did my face go?

~gourmet~

I wonder if it has anything to do with reflection. When you were younger you had so many expectations of where you were going to be and what your life was going to be like, so many dreams. And now your at an age where your life is pretty much settled and you've realized while you didn't acheive all your dreams you did acheive some you never thought possible. I know I'm not making any sense of it right now I need to think about it a while.

Gourmet I'm sorry but I have to disagree with you.
These things can all be related to each other.
And the concern was not to confuse or mislead those struggling with an eating disorder or a body image problem.

I'm sorry stori while I agree I have to disagree at the sametime lol if that makes any sense. While some of the issues can be explained as a body image thing I believe more of it goes deeper for me anyways. I wanted so many things in life and while its depressing what I didn't acheive, what I have accomplished is exciting and exhiliarating. For instance my goal was to be a nurse but I got pregnant and had to start working my first year of college. While I didn't actually acheive my dream I found that working in my current field is just as rewarding and a lot less paperwork and I also found out that motherhood is truly a gift even on the bad days. Something, I never would have even considered had we not slipped up.

Hey Stori.
Sorry this came across as confusion. :( I pray no confusion for those struggling with body images and eating disorders.
I have used food as an addiction in the past and have been very much overweight. I have always had a confidence problem regarding the physical me and extremely self-conscious. A closet dresser at slumber parties and even when I was tiny, I would never wear a bathing suit. Maybe I misunderstood chain's poll, but I thought he was polling about the way ADD people see themselves in their bodies vs. the way others see them.

I was trying to assure Nucking that I am not depressed at the moment because she was sweetly asking if I was feeling better. It is remarkable that I am not depressed for a change. I was worried that NF thought that maybe depression or some distress in my life was why this thing has been happening to me.

What I am having is so hard to put into words because......... I DO understand the looking in the mirror and not knowing who you are due to some change in thinking.... whether physical or otherwise, possibly even misplaced shame.

I also understand not feeling that you own the body you are looking at because that is "not how you feel inside". Or maybe you are realizing suddenly that you have changed beyond your body and the image is no longer you. (you being the universal you)

The event that I am trying to speak of is different I think and has happened to me since I was a child.

Though I lack proper words to use to communicate, I was hoping to find someone to tell me that my thing is somewhat common. I have not talked to people about this much and not sure what this "absent state" is. Possibly it has been seizure related, didn't know if it were somehow related to ADD because of the zoning out of sorts.

I am still aware I am a being, just not recognizable as the image has no part of me.

I do not know, but it is not painful or distressful, just not anything other than "seeming not real" and "not within the body". It only happens while looking in the mirror and I have not been able to establish a pattern or reason.

Hope to not make you concerned or think I am discounting anyone else's feelings...I sincerely understand and shouldn't have come across as anything other than serious. I have a bad habit of throwing out one-liners and was playing around with futs. I may have been insensitive. I was not meaning to express an opinion at all, just to try to communicate in a way so someone might understand my particular looking glass absence.


~gourmet~

Thank You Gourmet
You always understand what I'm saying.:)

Thank you for the reply Futs

I have no idea why I do it..I am only 18 so I certainly dont think I look old but I stand uselessly in front of the mirror just about everyday. I think I just doing have the motivation to leave the bathroom when there is something to stare at..I relaly dont know, but I totally relate! ..wish I didnt though I usually have about 2 minutes max to get in and out of the washroom before Im late, not like I wouldnt be late anyway....

wheresmykeys!

I think this is very close to where I am. When I was in my late teens I can remember sitting on my bed, with the music the insense, and hippy beads and looking over at my dresser mirror thinking....who is that? Is that person me? And it is almost trance-like.



I think I have heard it called body displacement.



Now to correct a statement I made earlier as a typo/braino ....


(("I did like your mother did when I turned 49..........ahem,mmmmm, 30, yeah that's the ticket....}}}my quote

I have never been 49 but one of these days I'm gonna love it...
I meant when I turned 39 ! Not a wonder there is no face in the mirror...she's not there yet. hehehehhe

~gourmet~

Im so amazed this post came up...I was JUST thinking like a day or so ago how wierd it is that I always get so much slower when I walk into the bathroom and was determined noone else ever did that..then like always I come here and find its common. Im so relieved Im not insane!

It could be body displacment..I haev never really thought of it as anything more than just zoning out, being too lazy to move, or oddly struck by such everyday things as my face... Next time I catch myself doing it I'll ponder it a little more.

lmbo Gourmet getting a little ahead of yourself are ya?

NF..... LOL :) I could not in my right mind let that go unsaid...caused me endless nights of sleep.


Also.....still googling, body displacement aiin't it. sigh

Great day outside and lot's of running to do.......so had to put my FACE on today. ;)
Wish I could laugh MY butt off too! LOL

I have a story that may make you laugh it even involves my own image and mirrors.

Last night we had a resident pass. I've never feared death or the body of one who has passed on; but, last night it was storming and I was working with a freak (sounds harsh but I love her and its said in a light tone I call her freak and she calls me KYE BABY)

Anyways she went on and on about ghosts being in the building and claiming to have seen some on certain halls. Now I don't necessarily believe in ghosts but don't want to press my luck either. So, I made her go on those two halls with me everytime a light went off. And she would make spooky sounds, etc. to freak me out.

Well, our resident passed away and I told her to get the paper gown while I started washing his face and making him presentable for the mortician (I can't stand anyone who sends a body out of our facility without making sure their presentable I think its rude). As she was leaving the room the light went off and I yelled "Hey, ****er" and she is standing near the closet in fear and whispered "it wasn't me, honest". Well, I got a little nervous and started coming up with all kinds of logical explanations in my head about what happened to the light (which by the way was the storm knocking all the power but those run by the generator out) as I was walking over to the light switch I saw myself in the mirror and started screaming cause it didn't look like me at first...Shock I suppose. My co-worker and I both ran for the door at the sametime and knocked each other on our butts much to the delight of our other co-workers.

NOW how to get revenge?!!!!

Ooooooooh that is so funny!!!
I have startled myself in the mirror in the dark too...that is just too funny!

Mirrors are not always our friends......actually I have not made a friend with a mirror in a long time! :faint:

Gourmet: I think what you're experiencing is called depersonalization. I'm not a psychologist or anything, but maybe a Google search on that can help you find out some answers.

Thanks Zoide! I thought it might begin with the letter "d" ! I am heading for google :)

oh, and Hi! Don't think we have met. Nice to meet you:)

Thank you Zoide. Looks like we have a name for it and it looks like the S (stress) word is responsible.


"Depersonalization is the third most common psychologicical experience, after feelings of anxiety and feelings of depression, and often occurs after a person experiences life threatening danger, such as an accident, assault, or serious illness or injury.

Depersonalization disorder has not been studied widely, and its cause and occurrence in the population are unknown."



"*A lasting or recurring feeling of being detached from the patient's own body.

*throughout the experience, the patient knows this is not really the case. Reality experience is intact."

I get that sometimes too. I have ADD, depression and pretty bad anxiety. The odd time I will have a look in the mirror, and wonder who I am looking at. I don't think that it's me or I realize suddenly that this is how people see me./ It's a very frightening thing for me, and really sends my anxiety through the roof when I feel out of body like this. At the same time, when I first started taking antidepressants when I was 20 (I'm 31 now), I remember having this really incredibly good feeling one day when I was in the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and my eyes looked bright, I looked absolutely beautiful ( my version , of course) and it was like looking through "rose coloured glasses". I attribute that to my depression lifting from the meds. I would like to think that maybe it's just depression that's making you feel this way now. I only say that because of the weird experience I had when I felt great at 20. Anyways, I completely understand what you're asking.

Thanks barbaradoll :) I have some rose colored glasses too.

When this mirror thing happened to me it was confusing and troubling because it was so strange. It is good to have a name for it and to know I am not the only one with this mirror image.

Keep wearing those beautiful glasses!