View Full Version : How can I stop them to deal with me as a crazy girl?


Emy_93
07-09-16, 09:45 PM
Hi ladies and gentlemen
How are you all ?
Could you help me please ?
This is my problem
Many people in the places where worked or study observed how impulsive and inattentive I am
So they all the Time deal with me as a crazy weird girl
They always wonder me !! Their wondering stares at me while talking to me are so painful
They deal with me in that way all the Time
even if I stopped that behavior I did
That bad impression about me seems to be final whatever happens
They are not always at the same level of mine to blame them about that
And if they insidely disrespect me they may do many thing at my expenses or ignore my rights and interests
What can I do ?

Pilgrim
07-10-16, 12:13 PM
Not to long ago I harnessed the ability of not noticing what people think. Works a treat.

GoalieMel33
07-10-16, 01:24 PM
It's true that our condition can make functionning in school and in the workplace challenging. Symptoms may be noticiable by others and they either assume it as a part of our personality or condition depending on whether they know or not.

I think the big part here comes from what you can do and how you see yourself. What makes you believe they perceive you as the ''crazy girl''? For instance, could there be a chance they were simply staring at you struggling with a task, wondering if they should lend you a hand/help out? Do you get along with them?

Some people, especially the ones in high positions like supervisors, might come across at first as mean. They aren't necessary, but their behavior shows them as impatient, demanding or strict. Do these individuals treat everyone the same way, or only you?

Sure, we have no control over what others think of us, but we do over how we learn to accept our ADHD and adapt to how we function. Our brain is wired differently and doesn't work the same way as our colleagues, but that doesn't make us crazy or stupid!

You are as valuable and competent as whoever you are with, otherwise you woudn't be there. We can be succesful with the help needed (therapy, medication and/or accommodation for example) and getting to know our difference will help is finding ways to cope with difficulties.

Some people we come across will be rude and won't understand, and that's fine. You know your worth and with time you'll find that it doesn't matter. Sometimes they might be afraid of difference, prove them that you can still thrive no matter what.

If you spot nice colleagues, it could be a good idea to discuss with them. You might learn what others really say about you but also get insight on how you can improve at the job. As for people mocking or disrespecting you, you could try to confront them.

Like when there is a break and they are alone. Remain calm and tell them that ''x comment'' they said was gratuitous or if they critized you ask them what they meant. Show them that you won't back down and tolorate being taken advantage of.

No one shouldn't have to go through harassment or bullying. We are already reminded our struggles everyday and nobody should make us feel like we are less (cause we aren't). If it continues or becomes serious, you need to adress it to your boss who can assist in handling such problem.

optimismhitting
08-21-16, 08:39 AM
Maybe you can consult a counselor or pyschologist just to deal with the bad things happening to you. Just my thought! :)

Mr.focus
10-25-16, 11:42 PM
It's totally normal. It just the social dynamic going on.If they all think you are impulsive for example, thdy are going to treat you like a impulsive maniac event if you are complety conscious of your action and in perfect control.

They don't trust you so everything is view as a treat (maybe i am going to far but you see the point).

To change the social dynamic currently in place, it's a long process of building trust with your friend/coworker.

You can do it!

Btw, I'm still view this way by my family and i'm in the working process of building their trust again. It's a long process but it's possible :)

Jeftheginger
10-26-16, 01:15 AM
Not to long ago I harnessed the ability of not noticing what people think. Works a treat.

"Hi I am an impulsive maniac with knives and a clown mask and I do not care what you think of me"

Am I getting the idea.

20thcenturyfox
10-26-16, 01:45 AM
I know how maddening--yes, and painful-- it is to be disrespected, patronized, or laughed at, but the first few lessons are the hardest.

Unless you're prepared to kill them (just joking, folks), you probably can't actually stop other people from doing whatever it is they do.

You can probably make it less important to yourself, by either looking down on them or just accepting that many "small" people puff themselves up and make themselves feel better by judging others. It's what they do, and not only to you.

You might be able to make it less rewarding for them by not reacting, especially not with anger, impatience or frustration. The rare person may actually care how you feel, but most don't, so don't open yourself to further abuse by giving anyone the satisfaction of a reaction.

When I was younger and more sensitive to what other people said, I used the image of an "emotional raincoat" to help me brush off other people's "wet" and ignorant remarks. You don't have to tell them what you are chuckling about.

Finally, I think it really helps to try to find that line between being good humoured and able to laugh at yourself and people's foibles generally, but not being too self-deprecating and putting yourself down. It will take trying and practice and getting it wrong sometimes, but while you are trying to get it right you will be learning a social skill that many people never learn.

dvdnvwls
10-26-16, 01:50 AM
Hi ladies and gentlemen
How are you all ?
Could you help me please ?
This is my problem
Many people in the places where worked or study observed how impulsive and inattentive I am
So they all the Time deal with me as a crazy weird girl
They always wonder me !! Their wondering stares at me while talking to me are so painful
They deal with me in that way all the Time
even if I stopped that behavior I did
That bad impression about me seems to be final whatever happens
They are not always at the same level of mine to blame them about that
And if they insidely disrespect me they may do many thing at my expenses or ignore my rights and interests
What can I do ?
Idea #1: Don't be impulsive or inattentive, ever.

Idea #2: Stay away from stupid bosses.


As you can see, idea #2 might be difficult - but idea #1 is completely impossible. So you need #2.

Lloyd_
01-26-17, 09:33 PM
Hi ladies and gentlemen
How are you all ?
Could you help me please ?
This is my problem
Many people in the places where worked or study observed how impulsive and inattentive I am
So they all the Time deal with me as a crazy weird girl
They always wonder me !! Their wondering stares at me while talking to me are so painful


I kills me to know other people have to go through what you're going through.:grouphug:

I've been feeling down in the dumps this week having to be reminded that my limitations keeps me from being a full functional person, I do have a few friends and family members that I know care about me and out of respect for them promised myself that I would stick around on this earth as long as they're still around, I've been over it for awhile now and if I found out tomorrow that I have a terminal disease I would probably look forward to my own death, I am at that point in my life to where I no longer find anything fulfilling other than trying to become more economically viable so that at the very least I don't die as an indentured servant.