View Full Version : Calling all primary care-givers whose children are diagnosed with ADHD!


mildadhd
07-18-16, 11:25 PM
Hello.

At what age was your child, when you first noticed your child has a more sensitive temperament?





m



[MODERATOR NOTE: Please see the related threads here (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=178801) and here (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=178782).]

Little Missy
07-19-16, 07:30 AM
I have a problem with 'primary care giver' that sounds so cold. Why aren't they parents whose children are diagnosed with ADHD?

rbarbosam
07-19-16, 07:36 AM
My son was like 4 years old when we first went to a psychiatrist, because he was too uneasy.

sarahsweets
07-19-16, 11:34 AM
My son was extra sensitive since birth. He had collic and cried so much until he was about 3 months old. I got all kinds of advice on what to do, but extra love and cuddles are what I offered.

Lunacie
07-19-16, 12:50 PM
I don't think my ADHD granddaughter seemed all that sensitive as a toddler, although she has since developed anxiety and depression.

My autistic granddaughter was very sensitive. Although the fact that she didn't get enough sleep could have made her seem more sensitive. Many kids with autism don't sleep well.

mildadhd
07-19-16, 09:34 PM
I have a problem with 'primary care giver' that sounds so cold. Why aren't they parents whose children are diagnosed with ADHD?

Because biological parents are not always the primary care-givers.





m

Little Missy
07-19-16, 09:36 PM
Because biological parents are not always the primary care-givers.

(Note: I am replying to a question/topic raised by a member)



m

Thank you. Big whoops on me.

mildadhd
07-19-16, 09:40 PM
My son was like 4 years old when we first went to a psychiatrist, because he was too uneasy.

Does "uneasy" feel like anxious, depressed, etc.



m

Lunacie
07-19-16, 09:48 PM
Because biological parents are not always the primary care-givers.


m

Adoptive parents and foster parents are still parents, IMO.

mildadhd
07-19-16, 09:54 PM
Adoptive parents and foster parents are still parents, IMO.

Parents are not always the primary care-givers.

Sometimes parents are in the picture, but are not the primary care-givers.

(Note: I am replying to an interesting question/topic asked by a member)


m

Caco3girl
07-20-16, 10:10 AM
Hello.

At what age was your child, when you first noticed your child has a more sensitive temperament?





m



[MODERATOR NOTE: Please see the related threads here (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=178801) and here (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=178782).]
My ADHD child does not have a "sensitive temperament". He just isn't always present in a conversation, or in class, or pretty much in my reality.

He also has trouble stopping his brain long enough to focus on directions, even if they are written down, he will do steps 1-4 and not realize there was also 5-8 that he didn't do.

I have never thought of him having a "sensitive temperament".

Lunacie
07-20-16, 10:57 AM
Parents are not always the primary care-givers.

Sometimes parents are in the picture, but are not the primary care-givers.

(Note: I am replying to an interesting question/topic asked by a member)


m

I know some people have nannys but I've never met any of them. I'm too poor.

Phillyr121
07-20-16, 08:43 PM
My ADHD child does not have a "sensitive temperament". He just isn't always present in a conversation, or in class, or pretty much in my reality.

He also has trouble stopping his brain long enough to focus on directions, even if they are written down, he will do steps 1-4 and not realize there was also 5-8 that he didn't do.

I have never thought of him having a "sensitive temperament".

Geez welcome to the club.

mildadhd
07-20-16, 09:33 PM
I know some people have nannys but I've never met any of them...

That's a great idea. Thank you.



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mildadhd
07-20-16, 10:13 PM
My ADHD child does not have a "sensitive temperament". He just isn't always present in a conversation, or in class, or pretty much in my reality.

He also has trouble stopping his brain long enough to focus on directions, even if they are written down, he will do steps 1-4 and not realize there was also 5-8 that he didn't do.

I have never thought of him having a "sensitive temperament".

All children are born with a sensitive homeostatical-sensorial-emotional biological temperament.

Some children are born with a more sensitive homeostatical-sensorial-emotional biological temperament.




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mildadhd
07-20-16, 11:38 PM
Examples

Some people feel irritated and blood pressure rises when they hear certain external sounds.

My skin reacts quit differently, and my hair changes texture and colour when exposed to different environments and seasons.

Seasonal depression. (Most low pressure systems in general) (sometimes both quick short term and consistent long term emotional reactions)


m

Caco3girl
07-22-16, 09:40 AM
All children are born with a sensitive homeostatical-sensorial-emotional biological temperament.

Some children are born with a more sensitive homeostatical-sensorial-emotional biological temperament.




m
Your question specifically said "At what age was your child, when you first noticed your child has a more sensitive temperament?"

I guess I will change my answer to "My child does not have a MORE sensitive temperament".

Socaljaxs
07-22-16, 11:22 AM
Hello.
At what age was your child, when you first noticed your child has a more sensitive temperament?
I don't actually understand what you are asking:confused: what about the children that have ADHD but don't use sensitive temperaments?

The children that had healthy stable upbringing, yet have ADHD and are not emotional or sensitive to expressing/ feeling emotions?


All children are born with a sensitive homeostatical-sensorial-emotional biological temperament.
Some children are born with a more sensitive homeostatical-sensorial-emotional biological temperament.
Yes, some children and adults are more sensitive, others are not at all. my question is, for this discussion, are you only interested in children that presented sensitive type/emotional behaviors/ tempers? Also, what scale or system would you base that on as well? I'm not sure if this is a 1 size fits all type in terms of what is/isn't considered sensitive temperaments.

Your question specifically said "At what age was your child, when you first noticed your child has a more sensitive temperament?"

spamspambacon
07-23-16, 11:10 AM
I don't actually understand what you are asking:confused: what about the children that have ADHD but don't use sensitive temperaments?

The children that had healthy stable upbringing, yet have ADHD and are not emotional or sensitive to expressing/ feeling emotions?



I believe, if I'm not mistaken, that "being more emotional" / "being more sensitive" is commonly recognized as a trait of ADHD'ers.

I'm not saying it's present in all ADHD'ers; I'm just saying I do believe that it IS an ADHD trait common to many of us ADHD'ers.

That being said, I think when you say:

"children that had healthy stable upbringing, yet have ADHD and are not emotional or sensitive to expressing/ feeling emotions?"

may infer that those of us who are sensitive in some way did not have a healthy, stable upbringing....and I believe that conclusion is wrong.

mildadhd
07-23-16, 01:04 PM
Well said, SpamSpamBacon thank you!

Many of us are born with a more sensitive temperament but I do not think all of us are born with more sensitive temperament.

People with ADD are hypersensitive. That is not a fault or a weakness of theirs, it is how they were born. It is their inborn temperament. That primarily, is what is hereditary about ADD. Genetic inheritance by itself cannot account for the presence of ADD features in people, but heredity can make it far more likely that these features will emerge in a given individual, depending on circumstances. It is sensitivity, not disorder, that is transmitted through heredity. In most cases, ADD is caused by the impact of the environment on particularly sensitive infants.

-Gabor Mate M.D., "Scattered", p 59.




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mildadhd
07-23-16, 01:18 PM
What may be perceived as a normal environment for a person born with a more robust temperament , may not be perceived as a normal but a distressful environment for a individual born with a more sensitive temperament.



m

TLCisaQT
07-23-16, 05:44 PM
That's a hard one because while both my kids have add/ADHD, it manifests so differently!! My youngest has been a little more moody and temperamental since age 6 or so, and tends to see things negatively. My oldest is more hyperactive and it wasn't until she was about 9 or ten that her mood altered more and she became more temperamental - it's so difficult!
In response to the caregiver - you can have foster parents, grandparents, guardians, etc who are taking care of children, instead of moms and dads :)

Lunacie
07-23-16, 05:53 PM
That's a hard one because while both my kids have add/ADHD, it manifests so differently!! My youngest has been a little more moody and temperamental since age 6 or so, and tends to see things negatively. My oldest is more hyperactive and it wasn't until she was about 9 or ten that her mood altered more and she became more temperamental - it's so difficult!
In response to the caregiver - you can have foster parents, grandparents, guardians, etc who are taking care of children, instead of moms and dads :)

In my area I'm so used to grandparents being either the primary care-giver or co-care-giver that I just think of us as parents.

I have been co-parent to my grandkids since they were born, 18 and 14 years ago.

mildadhd
07-23-16, 08:00 PM
I personally find "primary care-giver(s)" all around easiest to understand and the least confusing, but if anyone wants to refer to the primary care-giver(s), as "parenting adult(s)", "parenting figure(s)", "co-parent(s)", etc, would not change the thread discussion. As long as we understand the primary parenting figure(s) are not always the biological parent(s).






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Socaljaxs
07-23-16, 08:18 PM
I believe, if I'm not mistaken, that "being more emotional" / "being more sensitive" is commonly recognized as a trait of ADHD'ers.

I'm not saying it's present in all ADHD'ers; I'm just saying I do believe that it IS an ADHD trait common to many of us ADHD'ers.

That being said, I think when you say:

"children that had healthy stable upbringing, yet have ADHD and are not emotional or sensitive to expressing/ feeling emotions?"

may infer that those of us who are sensitive in some way did not have a healthy, stable upbringing....and I believe that conclusion is wrong.


I asked a question! I wanted to get specific questions to figure out exactly what the op was looking for.

I'm not sure why or how the question I am asking would even draw any conclusion? I wanted clarity that is all..I did not or wouldn't make such a statement, of claiming anything of the sorts. Nor did I make a statement of opinion to claiming such or even stated that I believe this either..

So I am not sure why there is a conclusion or assumption to my question that is being drawn.. Or it even being considered a statement instead of a question...

My intent of the question was asked purely for clarity of the ops question! It is also based on my knowledge of the op and the previous,relevant discussion that have taken place.

my intent was a question not a comment or statement nor was it meant to claim anything, that would draw any conclusion. It was merely a question, because I do not understand specifically what the discussion he is looking for..]
I didn't make clear the reason I asked such a,question. It wasn't a statement So yes I apologize for,any offense that question may have had
What may be perceived as a normal environment for a person born with a more robust temperament , may not be perceived as a normal but a distressful environment for a individual born with a more sensitive temperament.



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mildadhd
07-23-16, 08:20 PM
..Yes, some children and adults are more sensitive, others are not at all. my question is, for this discussion, are you only interested in children that presented sensitive type/emotional behaviors/ tempers? Also, what scale or system would you base that on as well? I'm not sure if this is a 1 size fits all type in terms of what is/isn't considered sensitive temperaments.

Considering a more sensitive temperament that could consist of one or more, homeostatic, sensory and emotional biological systems, for this discussion.




m

mildadhd
07-23-16, 11:58 PM
..Almost any parent with an ADD child, or any adult living with an ADD spouse, will have noticed in the ADD person a touchiness, a "thin skin". People with ADD are forever told that they are "too sensitive" or that they should stop being "so touchy". One might as well advise a child with hay fever to stop being "so allergic"

-Gabor Mate M.D., "Scattered", p 59

I can really relate to having "thin skin", homeostatically, sensorially and emotionally.

m

mildadhd
07-24-16, 05:43 PM
Can anyone else who has ADHD also relate to being partly described as having "a thin skin", in some way?

I can relate to feeling like having "a thin skin", ever since I can explicitly remember, at least.




m

spamspambacon
07-24-16, 06:33 PM
I asked a question! I wanted to get specific questions to figure out exactly what the op was looking for.

I'm not sure why or how the question I am asking would even draw any conclusion? I wanted clarity that is all..I did not or wouldn't make such a statement, of claiming anything of the sorts. Nor did I make a statement of opinion to claiming such or even stated that I believe this either..

So I am not sure why there is a conclusion or assumption to my question that is being drawn.. Or it even being considered a statement instead of a question...

My intent of the question was asked purely for clarity of the ops question! It is also based on my knowledge of the op and the previous,relevant discussion that have taken place.

my intent was a question not a comment or statement nor was it meant to claim anything, that would draw any conclusion. It was merely a question, because I do not understand specifically what the discussion he is looking for..]
I didn't make clear the reason I asked such a,question. It wasn't a statement So yes I apologize for,any offense that question may have had




Socaljaxs:

I can understand your feeling of being misunderstood.
However, if you re-read the thread from the beginning, down to your your original "questions", perhaps you might see how your words might be misunderstood.

From my own viewpoint, when you use the word "yet", you are drawing a conclusion that a sensitive temperament (or worse, ADHD itself) is caused by a somehow unhealthy unbringing.

Now, you may not have intended to say that. If your intention was to better understand the original poster's question, then perhaps proofreading and editing your comments for clarity, before you post them, might help.

Cheers,

Spamster

spamspambacon
07-24-16, 06:38 PM
As far as myself, I first noticed I was more sensitive after realizing I can cry on cue....
and I realized this fact in my early-mid teens, if I recall that far back....:faint: hahahaha....

mildadhd
07-24-16, 07:30 PM
Nothing exists by itself.

Existence is a relationship between two or more things.

Overall is not possible for ADHD to be caused by one single thing.

Recognizing that children are sometimes born with a "thin skin" and therefore may be physiologically more reactive to homeostatically, sensorially and emotionally stimulating experiences, is essential for treatment purposes.

Consider a child born with "a thin skin", who does experience consistent aware unconditional primary care-giving.

Then consider a child born with "a thin skin", who consistently does not experience aware unconditional primary care-giving.


m