View Full Version : Not sure if this is the right place but...


maysarieltiff
08-14-16, 10:48 PM
My brother is addicted to Oxy. He was sober, we reconnected after years and he has relapsed. He confided in me and it hurts me so bad that I cannot help him. I offer advice and a listening, non judgmental ear. It seems to be what he wants, yet I feel I am lacking.

I talked to my boyfriend about it and all he can say is this has been a pattern, etc. and I am like what the hell does that have to do with anything? Does that change my feeling about my LITTLE brother fighting with this? Eventually he said he would talk to me tomorrow because he doesn't want to upset me but I already am upset, and he only made it worse because I feel he does not understand me at all.

it feels terrible to be at the bottom of something with no hope of escaping. I want to help but I know that I really cannot. This is something he needs to deal with internally, and I feel he needs to see a doctor regarding depression and anxiety. I told him that but going through with it is another story. I tried to relate my story to him to try to help but I don't think he will see a doctor, and I don't think that he will use anything I said to help himself.

I am beyond frustrated and misunderstood. This is about my brother, what he needs and where he is right now. The fact that my BF tried to downplay it or make it seem like there is no "use" in trying to help only ****** me off and makes me want to scream, honestly. I want to help my brother. I want him to understand there is help out there, if he will take it. He does not have to battle alone.

EDIT: since the post, my BF has texted me "sorry baby" I simply said I am tired, have an early morning and need to get to bed soon. Goodnight. He said goodnight and that was it.

Am I being crazy for wanting a real apology of what he did and not just a customary I'm sorry? What is he sorry for? I know I did nothing wrong, I want him to accept that I asked for what I needed from him, and he denied it to me.

Hermus
08-15-16, 01:23 AM
Hi Maysarieltiff,

So sorry to hear about your brother's addiction. Having a younger brother who has been addicted to different substances (GHB, to a lesser extent alcohol and methamphetamine) I know how hard it can be to have to deal with someone in your family who is suffering from addiction.

It sounds like you're boyfriend has a difficult time showing the empathy you need and comforting you. What I believe is important to understand is that people have different ways to show empathy. It might not mean that your boyfriend doesn't care. Just that he isn't attuned to the way you need him to show it. The fact he texted you to say sorry says he does care.

Take care off yourself and I wish you the best with your boyfriend and your brother.

:grouphug: