View Full Version : Starting to feel like ADD & my treatment regimen is the core of my identity...

08-15-16, 08:49 AM
I know some common ADD medications (I take adderall daily, then a low dose SSRI) cause antisocial behavior or sentiments, but this feels like something else at play (or perhaps I should say, also at play).

I'm definitely a bit odd...but it feels like ADD and my treatment regimen is such a central part of my identity, lifestyle, and even interests or goals. More significant than my sexual orientation, race/ethnic background, gender identity, etc.

I used to think I was being ridiculous and unrealistic or extremely picky when I would allow myself to acknowledge the feeling of just not "clicking" with certain people, as if I wasn't investing in relationships or potential relationships and friendships because I was expecting to find people identical to myself.

But I've really really been putting myself out there for a while now, and taking a lot of chances in trying to get make more friends and network both for emotional or platonic support and companionship, as well as professional networking toward my creative and artistic passions and aspirations. Yet I haven't had much success or made much progress...and the people who do keep in contact with me and will reciprocate in equally taking initiative to hang out or talk and what not, it just feels like we're so foreign and on different pages where were run out of common ground very easily.

To be clear, I do have friends and acquaintances (like what I just described) where despite little common ground, we continue to put in the effort. But it's like we genuinely just have to take long breaks in between catching up b/c otherwise there isn't much stuff that falls within our venn diagram of common interests to talk about!

My career goals and passions are very important to me and I'm definitely not satisfied so to speak with the role they play in my life. Said differently, I'm very passionate about creative arts, writing, photography, filmmaking, lots of media and design ventures, and although I've really modified my goals in terms of forging a career path that involves the creative aspects of myself into my work to become more and more realistic or modest over time, I haven't progressed much.

I've seriously considered trying to just let go of certain goals and interests, and I have also taken significant breaks in hopes that I would have some realizations and refreshed energy and perspective when I return or resume, but it I always just feel like I'm still at square one and haven't made any connections, inroads, or progress.

It sounds like a joke, but I'm truly baffled to the point that I feel like I'll have this "stuck in the mud" feeling with regards to both my social life and professional career, until I magically discover and join some community of relatable peers or people who share some of my quirky ADD traits and furthermore have compatibility as far as certain lifestyle considerations or patterns that manifest from my medication regimen.

I've tried online and "in real life" or in person networking. Mixers, workshops, meetings, volunteering, community organizations that are relevant to my life in one way or another. But still, nothing!

I had some success with certain creative ventures through entrepreneurial type efforts, but whenever I encounter situations that really beckon or call for a partner or business partner, mentor, someone to just talk shop with, etc., I never can find someone even remotely compatible.

I often wonder if I'm wasting my time when I look for or explore collaborators and business partners, and that I should just chalk that up to a lost cause and just focus on "one-man show" endeavors that don't call for collaboration as much.

It appears as though people either lose interest bc they were just excited by the initial thought of a plan, proposal, or project I was keen on pursuing, OR the person is very established and has figured out a situation or modest but sustainable and sufficient business on their own, so it would make sense to partner up with me, as it sort of inevitably means trying something a bit new or different than the routine they've already established.

I'm just venting, but make my year if you have some concrete tips in the form of a good network or resource I should check out that might be fertile grounds for making concrete professional contacts with people that have ADD and their treatment regimen does shape the way they work!

Genuinely confused about the sounds cliche and a bit idealistic, but it truly feels as though "settling" is ultimately my only option, even if I'm "hustling" and putting nothing short of 100% effort into figuring out practical plans and leaving no stone unturned I "fishing" for remotely compatible people or professional contacts, as well as perhaps existing organizations and businesses/resources.

It's as if the only way I'll find such a network and such resources, connections, and contacts would be to create it myself..."make an app for entrepreneurial ADD folks with similar treatment regimens and lifestyle circumstances!" It feels like in order to really make headway with my creative and entrepreneurial ventures, I have to first create and launch a startup dedicated to filling in the tools that feel as if they're missing just to get started :confused:

08-16-16, 02:54 PM
Hi, and welcome to the forums .....I'm a bit stiff this morning and having a lot of trouble spelling for some reason.....but I see you wrote this yesterday, and no one has responded yet .....I don't want you to feel unwelcome and ignored .....lots of folks have read your post but no responses .....

.....I know I have had trouble understanding exactly what is that you're talking about haven't been very specific and I think that's maybe the problem ....I'm having trouble figuring out how to help ....we don't know what it is that you do, how old you are makes a difference too, are you in a big city or a small town ...all these things make a difference and, I hate to say this ....but even your gender makes a difference ....

.....speaking as a creative person myself, it has taken many years to get to the point where I feel successful....I have always felt talented, creative, and good at what I do ....I have a degree in photography from San Francisco Art Institute.....( the one that Ansel Adams founded the photography dep't in) ....I've had 1 show, and done 6 album covers ( back when album covers meant LPs !) I have made all my own clothes for a period of about 20 years, and then designed and made the costumes for a vaudeville and melodrama theater for 2 shows .....I was a professional cook for 8 years during my college years and a little after....I owned an antique store for a couple of years and in the process and since have refinished or done faux finishes or stenciled or did something to about 1500 pieces of furniture ....then crafts of all kinds ....

....What I am doing now, came from being a vintage watch dealer for 7 years work isn't steampunk, but I use vintage watch movements and dials to make jewelry....and am now an official SF Street Artist .....and do other shows as well ....and I am finally making close to a living ....if I were younger, I could do better ..but it took me this long to find something that people love, and more than that ...they buy ! ...

...As a photographer, I worked alone ....behind the camera and in the darkroom ( that was the days of film cameras) a costume designer, I worked with everyone involved from the director, to the actors to the stage manager .....and now I am working alone again....

.....I know that there are a lot of artistic things going on in my area ( SF bay area) from shows, to artist co-ops, to work spaces in shared artists buildings.....which I may be ;heading for as I am fast outgrowing my space at home .....

....I'm not quite sure what it is you're asking .....if you are in a field that means you work with others.....or if you are an artist who has to do their work alone .....but I think maybe if you think about getting a space in an artists co-op of some kind you will likely find kindred spirits if you are a person who is making unique art .....if you are in film or theater, then take a class or try to find a local theater to get involved with ....

...I hope this helps a little ....being creative is touted as being a lucky person ...but it mostly brings frustration as you figure out what it is that you can actually do .....

08-16-16, 03:15 PM
I must admit to have scanning these posts, a little long for me. But if the title is at all relevant, I think understand. Sometimes it seems all I do anymore is schedule and make doctor appointments and go from pharmacy to pharmacy, let alone the occasional tests like MRIs and X-Rays for my broken arm problem.