View Full Version : Need help


Loveandhope
08-26-16, 09:44 PM
I am 26 years old. I started taking adderal when I was 22 I guess I should say abusing adderal because I was not prescribed it. The reason I started was because I was working full time and in college full time. I started to do great in school and felt more energized at work. It started off just taking it about twice a week and everyday during final exams. I graduated this year with a bachelor's and now working full time making good money and back in school for my masters degree. December was when I graduated and got my new job. I did some research because I really wanted to stop taking adderal and read about suboxen. I didn't know much about any drugs or what it was. So now I been taking suboxen for 9 months. It is hard to pay for so I only take half a suboxen a day but then 4 months ago I started school again and working full time and started abusing adderal again. I'm so disappointed in myself and regret ever taking an adderal or suboxen. I haven't taken an adderal in 2 days and feel so anxious and no energy and still taken half a suboxen throughout the day but it's not having the same effect - probably because I'm not taking adderal with it. My family has no idea and we are super close. My family mom and dad are people who don't even drink and we live in a community where drugs are not even talked about or an issue because no one takes them.

I feel guilty and know I can tell my mom because she had always been here for me with no judgements and I think she knows something is going on because I am sleeping more and not myself. On top of this I am a type 1 diabetic and have been since I was 12 and started taking Paxil when I was 17 for anxiety.

I plan on not taking adderal and slowly get myself off suboxen by cutting down a little bit every other day but it's difficult when I feel like this and have to work full time and in a master degree program that gives me 2 hours of homework a night and working all day while making time for class.

I know I'm not alone by reading other people stories on here, that makes me feel better, but any advice or suggestions would be appreciated.

sarahsweets
08-27-16, 06:56 AM
I am 26 years old. I started taking adderal when I was 22 I guess I should say abusing adderal because I was not prescribed it. The reason I started was because I was working full time and in college full time. I started to do great in school and felt more energized at work. It started off just taking it about twice a week and everyday during final exams. I graduated this year with a bachelor's and now working full time making good money and back in school for my masters degree. December was when I graduated and got my new job. I did some research because I really wanted to stop taking adderal and read about suboxen. I didn't know much about any drugs or what it was.

First of all, youre not alone and you are not a horrible person so turn those tapes off in your head. You just need some support and help.


So now I been taking suboxen for 9 months. It is hard to pay for so I only take half a suboxen a day but then 4 months ago I started school again and working full time and started abusing adderal again.
Suboxone is for opiate addiction right? I know it can also be abused. What does the suboxone help you with, or helped you with prior to being addicted to it?

[qupte] I'm so disappointed in myself and regret ever taking an adderal or suboxen. I haven't taken an adderal in 2 days and feel so anxious and no energy and still taken half a suboxen throughout the day but it's not having the same effect - probably because I'm not taking adderal with it. My family has no idea and we are super close. My family mom and dad are people who don't even drink and we live in a community where drugs are not even talked about or an issue because no one takes them.
[/quote]
The first thing you need to do in order to get help and be successful is to get honest. Keeping the secret causes guilt, which causes you to want to self medicate. Its a vicious cycle. You need to talk to your family so they can help you.
Not having taken adderall for 2 days is good-but without help its hard to white knuckle it alone.

I feel guilty and know I can tell my mom because she had always been here for me with no judgements and I think she knows something is going on because I am sleeping more and not myself. On top of this I am a type 1 diabetic and have been since I was 12 and started taking Paxil when I was 17 for anxiety.

If your mom is non-judgemental then she should be able to support you, once she gets over hearing the news for the first time.

I plan on not taking adderal and slowly get myself off suboxen by cutting down a little bit every other day but it's difficult when I feel like this and have to work full time and in a master degree program that gives me 2 hours of homework a night and working all day while making time for class.

Its very hard to stop an opiate or opioid-type med on your own. Do you have adhd?

I know I'm not alone by reading other people stories on here, that makes me feel better, but any advice or suggestions would be appreciated.
I am an alcoholic in recovery, and I use a 12 step program to help me. Not everybody needs that, but I like the support. You should try and consider seeing a doctor about a safe way to stop the suboxone. And if you think that the compulsions/obsession to take these meds will still be god awful even once they are out of your system, its worth seeking other types of help.

ToneTone
09-06-16, 12:16 AM
Time to share this with mom and with a doctor ... support groups can also be good ... But basically you have a secrecy thing going on ... secretly using Adderall and secretly using suboxen.

Drugs were not my problem, but I have had other addictive behaviors and looking back, I can say hiding and secrecy were the biggest problems ... Deep problems because this tendency often mean I failed to seek help BEFORE engaging in addictive behavior.

That's the biggest change. I now open up and get help ONGOING ...

Time to go to meetings, call a doctor. You can lick this, but most likely you can't lick it in secret!

Good luck.

Tone

Centimorgan
09-13-16, 10:48 AM
Tell your mom! You are so fortunate to have support like that. You are in trouble and no problem can get solved in secrecy. Please keep us updated.