View Full Version : bf yelled at me for venting


fosterthehuman
08-28-16, 11:54 PM
my roommate just texted me something that made me mad but also really anxious and i started venting to my bf about it. i admit that i was angry and i almost started crying cause i was so frustrated, idk why. at first my bf tried to comfort me and tell me don't worry about it. but i was like "but i can't, i know that she's mad at me." and i was saying stuff like is this my fault, and saying that i think i ****** up. my bf kept saying i didn't. but i wouldn't believe him. eventually he got frustrated and was like "okay then sit there like a baby and ***** about it" and just stuff like, if you don't wanna take my advice then **** you. and said that i should be more grateful cause he made me some cereal this morning and i've barely touched it cause i've been ******** about my roommates.

i told him i'm sorry for not taking his advice before, that i was just acting hysterical and anxious and he was like "well you weren't taking it before." and so i just kind of sat there for a few minutes feeling ****ty and kind of just thinking and he was like "stop pouting and eat your cereal" idk ik this is my fault and now i feel horrible. and now were sitting playing video games and i'm trying to just pretend that i'm okay but i feel like i really upset him. i told him that sometimes i don't like when he yells at me to make me get over stuff but i said that i understand how it might annoy him. he's done this before when i vented about stuff and didn't take his advice. idk but i wanna change and start being able to get over things, if anyone has advice, that would be helpful.

anonymouslyadd
08-29-16, 12:15 AM
How is he at listening? It seems like he wanted to give you a quick response, telling you not to worry about it.

Don't most people just want to vent?

fosterthehuman
08-29-16, 12:18 AM
sometimes he's really nice to me and just listens. but other times he does stuff like this.

and i thought people did, but i feel like i just bother everyone now.

anonymouslyadd
08-29-16, 12:43 AM
sometimes he's really nice to me and just listens. but other times he does stuff like this.

and i thought people did, but i feel like i just bother everyone now.
Don't wish him something he's not. I'm not saying not to give him the benefit of the doubt.

We need understanding people to be in a relationship with. My ADD coach taught me that.

TheFitFatty
08-29-16, 01:47 AM
Why are you still with is this guy? He is abusive. Emotionally and physically. You did nothing wrong, you were turning to him for support and he yelled at you about not saying thank you for pouring a bowl of cereal?
This is NOT NORMAL. Leave him!@

TheFitFatty
08-29-16, 03:48 AM
sometimes he's really nice to me and just listens. but other times he does stuff like this.

and i thought people did, but i feel like i just bother everyone now.

Ok, OP you're in what's called an abusive mindset. One of the ways abusers are very good at what they do, and how they get away with it for so long is they encourage the abused person to "change themselves." They turn everything around so it's the victims fault and not theirs.

Some people actually refer to this as the abuse victim's script, basically it's "If I can behave better and not provoke him the abuse will stop".

He's assigning all the problems, all the fights, and all the abuse that HE deals out to you as your fault and your responsibility to stop. He is minimizing all of his actions/responses and blowing your perceived faults way, way out of proportion.

By the time many women realize they're being abused they've been abused for a really long time. Which erodes self confidence and makes it even harder for them to leave.

You have every opportunity to walk away from this loser now. Before things get worse. You aren't financially dependent on him, you have your own place. Walk away. It will not get better. :(

sarahsweets
08-29-16, 04:22 AM
my roommate just texted me something that made me mad but also really anxious and i started venting to my bf about it. i admit that i was angry and i almost started crying cause i was so frustrated, idk why. at first my bf tried to comfort me and tell me don't worry about it. but i was like "but i can't, i know that she's mad at me." and i was saying stuff like is this my fault, and saying that i think i ****** up. my bf kept saying i didn't. but i wouldn't believe him. eventually he got frustrated and was like "okay then sit there like a baby and ***** about it" and just stuff like, if you don't wanna take my advice then **** you. and said that i should be more grateful cause he made me some cereal this morning and i've barely touched it cause i've been ******** about my roommates.

i told him i'm sorry for not taking his advice before, that i was just acting hysterical and anxious and he was like "well you weren't taking it before." and so i just kind of sat there for a few minutes feeling ****ty and kind of just thinking and he was like "stop pouting and eat your cereal" idk ik this is my fault and now i feel horrible. and now were sitting playing video games and i'm trying to just pretend that i'm okay but i feel like i really upset him. i told him that sometimes i don't like when he yells at me to make me get over stuff but i said that i understand how it might annoy him. he's done this before when i vented about stuff and didn't take his advice. idk but i wanna change and start being able to get over things, if anyone has advice, that would be helpful.

What a sh*tty way to treat you. You are not REQUIRED to take his advice, and whos to say if you did it would have turned out differently?

Lloyd_
10-08-16, 06:21 AM
my roommate just texted me something that made me mad but also really anxious and i started venting to my bf about it. i admit that i was angry and i almost started crying cause i was so frustrated, idk why. at first my bf tried to comfort me and tell me don't worry about it. but i was like "but i can't, i know that she's mad at me." and i was saying stuff like is this my fault, and saying that i think i ****** up. my bf kept saying i didn't. but i wouldn't believe him. eventually he got frustrated and was like "okay then sit there like a baby and ***** about it" and just stuff like, if you don't wanna take my advice then **** you. and said that i should be more grateful cause he made me some cereal this morning and i've barely touched it cause i've been ******** about my roommates.

i told him i'm sorry for not taking his advice before, that i was just acting hysterical and anxious and he was like "well you weren't taking it before." and so i just kind of sat there for a few minutes feeling ****ty and kind of just thinking and he was like "stop pouting and eat your cereal" idk ik this is my fault and now i feel horrible. and now were sitting playing video games and i'm trying to just pretend that i'm okay but i feel like i really upset him. i told him that sometimes i don't like when he yells at me to make me get over stuff but i said that i understand how it might annoy him. he's done this before when i vented about stuff and didn't take his advice. idk but i wanna change and start being able to get over things, if anyone has advice, that would be helpful.

Playing video games? No offense but how old is your bf? 15? :rolleyes:

Ever considered maybe your only problem is poor decision making in who you choose to be with in a relationship? Don't feel bad because I'm guilty as charged myself.

But seriously the guy sounds like a manchild and like a little brat demanding you to do stuff for him like a spoiled rotten child.