View Full Version : Being a guest at a wedding VS being in a wedding.


sarahsweets
09-04-16, 05:07 AM
We are going to a very formal wedding for my husband's cousin today as a family-and we are very excited. About 3 years ago we were in my husband's brother's wedding and it was such drama. We couldnt enjoy it because there was so much stress about not making mistakes, not ruining the wedding for the bride and groom, not tripping down the aisle. Worrying about getting the right shoes and not missing the dress fittings. We havent been a guest at a wedding in like 15 years and I cant wait. We all have beautiful things to wear that we picked out, and the bride is very well off- or at least her wedding will be over the top, so its like a family date night for us.

As an aside- I cant believe the expense and garbage that goes into weddings, I dont know how I would ever afford it and I have two girls! My wedding was a lot more economical- but we had to get married before college started.
I dont think I would ever be comfortable wasting money like this. The bride had formal invitations to her BRIDAL SHOWER. Like the kind where you had to dress up for.
The couple is registered at William Sonoma, Macy's and Crate and Barrel. Who gets registered there.
We could only afford a grill set from their list and a pot holder. What ever happened to backyard wedding showers, and gifts that people could just give? I wasnt registered.
My wedding was planned and executed in 7 weeks.
Oh well, all the b**ching aside- its still going to be fun for us!

midnightstar
09-04-16, 05:19 AM
I hope you have a wonderful time sarah :grouphug:

TheFitFatty
09-04-16, 06:50 AM
We are going to a very formal wedding for my husband's cousin today as a family-and we are very excited. About 3 years ago we were in my husband's brother's wedding and it was such drama. We couldnt enjoy it because there was so much stress about not making mistakes, not ruining the wedding for the bride and groom, not tripping down the aisle. Worrying about getting the right shoes and not missing the dress fittings. We havent been a guest at a wedding in like 15 years and I cant wait. We all have beautiful things to wear that we picked out, and the bride is very well off- or at least her wedding will be over the top, so its like a family date night for us.

As an aside- I cant believe the expense and garbage that goes into weddings, I dont know how I would ever afford it and I have two girls! My wedding was a lot more economical- but we had to get married before college started.
I dont think I would ever be comfortable wasting money like this. The bride had formal invitations to her BRIDAL SHOWER. Like the kind where you had to dress up for.
The couple is registered at William Sonoma, Macy's and Crate and Barrel. Who gets registered there.
We could only afford a grill set from their list and a pot holder. What ever happened to backyard wedding showers, and gifts that people could just give? I wasnt registered.
My wedding was planned and executed in 7 weeks.
Oh well, all the b**ching aside- its still going to be fun for us!

I know what you mean. We had a really cheap wedding (I actually didn't get invites made, I invited everyone through a facebook event), my husband and his groomsmen bought their outfits from Banana Republic, my bridesmaids dresses were from H&M, and I had my dress made at a tailors for under $100. My friend was the photographer for free and I got the venue very discounted through work connections. :D

Hubby and I blew all our money on two weeks in Bali!

psychopathetic
09-04-16, 07:22 AM
Awww! I'm so happy you're looking forward to this! I hope you and your whole family have an amazing experience!

I wish I had a wedding to go to. I love dressing up and having a proper reason to look all fancy and what not lol.

Little Missy
09-04-16, 07:35 AM
ooooooh! I hope they have a really good band and food!

TygerSan
09-04-16, 07:55 AM
To each their own, I guess. Those registries would give me sticker shock for sure (and God forbid you look at them late and the only things left are the thousand dollar item and the overpriced dishtowels that really don't seem like a great gift on their own.

We registered on Amazon when we got married. I know a lot of other couples have done the same. Although there was one time, when the shipping for the bocce ball set was more than the set itself, so even online registries aren't perfect.

When we were looking at venues, it was clear that the minute The word wedding was mentioned, the price shot up astronomically. We ended up in our own churches parish hall, 70 people all told. The one thing we didn't skimp on was the catering.

We had a lot of people who either didn't know about the registry, or didn't find anything they wanted to give from the registry, just give gift cards or those Visa cards. I don't know how other couples feel about that, but we were absolutely fine with it.

One of the things that seems to be a thing right now is to ask for money for a honeymoon fund. Somehow, maybe I'm old-fashioned or something, that just doesn't sit right with me. Then again it means that you get exactly what you want.

For what it's worth, my sister got married in her backyard and we had a very nice dinner afterwards. I kind of dig the low-key affairs.

Unmanagable
09-04-16, 08:28 AM
Since it was both my and the hubster's second marriage, we did the formalities of the service at the small chapel where I worked at the time, invited only close friends and family, had it catered by a friend for a total of 100 bucks, I wore a skirt and shirt I found at a thrift shop, he wore a suit he already had, I decorated everything myself with stuff I already had, minus a few candles, and we didn't accept gifts since we already had everything we needed, instead, I asked folks to please donate to their favorite charities. We used bird seed for peeps to throw at the end, then headed off to the mountains for the honeymoon festivities.

Little Missy
09-04-16, 08:58 AM
I've not been to a wedding in YEARS, but the bands always began with Proud Mary! None of those fussy have-to rules, people got down! Michigan and all.

Hey, the 70's were fun.

My mum and dad always had a lot of wedding invites and my dad would say, "Find out who the caterer is so we can decide which ones we'll grace with our presence. I'm not dressing up for bad food."

That must have been before the DJ days. It was always a live band. Ancient history and all.

I think it is unbelievably crass that people register for the gifts that they want. But that is just my unsolicited opinion. :D

Little Missy
09-04-16, 09:58 AM
My daughter has been in SO many weddings and all of those hideous dresses she had to buy and travelling all over the place to be in the weddings...they always look happy in the pictures though. And she's on another one again.

Even though my parents were so extravagant about many things, springing for a wedding brought, "Forget it! We'll buy you a new truck or give you some money for a house and that's it!"

Not even the lure of good food worked. :confused:

TygerSan
09-04-16, 10:34 AM
We never really were counting on people giving us the the stuff on the registry. It was more of a list of stuff we could really have used to blend our two houses (really, not much) or things that would be fun to own but non essential.

I suck at giving gifts so having a cheat sheet for folks I don't know really, really well takes the pressure off. Also, registries decrease the number of fondue sets from 5 to 2. ;)

My parents gave us money which we were free to either spend on a wedding or on anything else we wished for. We were grateful for the lack of interference.

Fuzzy12
09-04-16, 10:59 AM
I think registries are great ideas. I never know what to get anyone so rather than getting them something they don't want I can get them something they have asked for.

The last two weddings I went to asked for a contribution to their honeymoon abd I like that idea as well. The most important I think is to somehow do something that the couple will appreciate so if they just tell you what they want it makes things so much easier.

In my home country it's customary to give money and I think that's not bad either. The most practical. Weddings see a huge affair though. Lots of fun as a guest but an abuse nightmare for the groom and bride. We had more than 500 people at each of several functions and I probably didnt know 90% of them, which is good because the 10% I did know just created trouble.

Fuzzy12
09-04-16, 01:01 PM
I meant absolute nightmare not abuse. Predictive texting on my phone is no match for my butterfingers. :rolleyes:

salleh
09-05-16, 12:55 AM
I used to raid the dumpsters of a large florist shop, ( got a bunch ....no wait bunches of flowers to dry ....) anyway, I about fainted when I saw the multi-paged list of the flowers and costs per for what must have been an extremely costly wedding ....

$65,000 for flowers .....just flowers .....

I could see $65,000 for flowers for a coronation ....but a wedding ...these dimwits had way too much disposable income .....


When my ex and I started to look into what and where for out wedding ....I found that a mere 10 grand got us some really ugly place and catering was extra ....we decided to have an announced elopement to Scotland, (in Jedburgh, Gretan Green was too obvious)

Splurged on a lovely B & B across the river from the spires of Abbotsford then went to a trade on our time share in the same town as Fawlty Towers was set..( can't remember the name of the town ) ....

came home had a family party at my MOm's and then went up to Sonoma, and threw a big party at the Kenwood depot, my musician friends played ....wonderful time was had by all .....( you know a place is truly your home, when You haven't lived there for 8 years, and 150/60 people show up for your Wedding reception.....I was truly touched by all my old friends showing up ....)


.....On our wedding night, Tom spent it in the bathroom, constipated beyond belief.....and I mean the WHOLE NIGHT !


....Shoulda been a clue eh ?


The wedding trip, both parties, and the trip to SOnoma, in total, all cost less than the cheapest of the nasty possible venues we had looked into .....


I have serious doubts about people who will spend upwards of 40grand and more for a wedding ......I question their values, and wonder about their readiness for a real marriage ......they aren't living in the real world and it doesn't bode well for the future together .....


....It's just a wedding fer hevuns sake .....

that being said ....check out the groom and his mens' dance for the bride .....absolutely adorable ....of course it helps that he's a professional dancer ....

I must confess, I have a huge crush on the groom.....and the entire clip really shows a slice of what must have been a joyous wedding .....

enjoy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXhQKWGL27k

mctavish23
09-05-16, 02:21 PM
Sarah,

Time to break out the "James Brown" moves :D :eek:


U R Welcome :cool:

Lunacie
09-05-16, 07:43 PM
I've only attended a couple of ritzy weddings, didn't really enjoy them.

I've only officiated at one semi-ritzy wedding, under a canopy in the bride's parents back yard. Big house, very nice. River view. I didn't stick around for the reception.

Most of the weddings I've done have been small, 30 people or less, not so formal, really lots of fun to do.

sarahsweets
09-10-16, 03:05 AM
http://i68.tinypic.com/2ivxw5j.jpg

http://i65.tinypic.com/2wmqhch.jpg

A couple of pics from the wedding. It was a blast.

sarahsweets
09-10-16, 03:07 AM
Ok everyone. I am trying to edit this and remove a pic to resize and I cant. Can anyone tell me how to resize using tinypc?

sarahsweets
09-10-16, 03:13 AM
http://i65.tinypic.com/jt5e8x.jpg
http://i68.tinypic.com/2ivxw5j.jpg

sarahsweets
09-10-16, 03:15 AM
http://i66.tinypic.com/25qvtk0.jpg

sarahsweets
09-10-16, 03:16 AM
Mods can you please remove the two pics that are duplicates and tell me how to edit pic uploads?
Sorry for the extra work. Just wanted to share.

salleh
09-10-16, 03:57 AM
.....the photos are great ....and glad to hear you had a good time ! ....but no stories ?? ....details my dear details !

Little Missy
09-10-16, 06:40 AM
LOVE the pics!!! :D

sarahsweets
09-10-16, 11:42 AM
If someone can show me how to upload a video clip without posting it to youtube I have some great videos. One of my husband and son dancing. Hubby was a little tipsy.
It was a great time. Gourmet food, almost made me feel guilty because I knew it cost so much. Great tunes, the wedding song was a talking heads song! I thought that was really cool.
No slow songs though which I wouldnt have minded.

mctavish23
09-10-16, 05:06 PM
Beautiful pics. Glad ya'll had a great time.


Robert

Fuzzy12
09-10-16, 06:36 PM
Great pics. Beautiful family! !!