Hi, i have suffered/ am still suffering from a clinical depression, for the third time in my life, and i am now seeing a therapist for that.
Today i said i would like to get tested for ADD, but he was very sceptical about that. He said he would discuss it in the meeting, but he doubted that i have it, and he didnt seem to be to eager to let me get tested.
And i feel like i exhausted all my assertiveness mtoday..... if he doent let me take that test, i'll never have the courage to ask for it again.:(

He suggested that my ADD-ish symptoms are caused a negative self image (which i admit i do have) which he thinks is caused by childhood trauma. I was sexually molested a few times by my older cousin when i was 8 or 9, and true, i never received any support for that from anyone.

But i so totally recognize myself in ADD symptoms, and they cant all be caused by that can they? Or can they?
Am i tricking myself here? Do i have ADD, or am i traumatized or am i just a useless person?? Which one is it?

Even if i turn out to not have ADD, wouldnt it be worth getting tested just to know that at least that is not the reason for my constant failures in life?:confused:

Well, I don't know how it works on that side of the pond but over here you could simply go to another doc and simply ask to be tested for ADD.

Rakshi,

I can relate to your post. I have a history of childhood trauma. I've also suffered from depression, PTSD and just within the last 6 months dx'd with ADHD. All of this stuff intertwines and interacts with each other so its hard to say that one particular 'something' is due to just the depression or just the trauma or just the ADHD.

I do know that ADD symptoms can be mimicked in other disorders but if you feel its important to you I would look into getting another opinion. I also would consider how your therapist is handling this. I am just guessing but my therapist would not stand in my way if I felt something was important for me to know.

If you do have ADD it will interact with the depression but it also will become its own issue. I have been in therapy for the trauma for awhile now and have found that the further along I get with the trauma the more I am able to seperate out ADD from trauma but in the beginning it was much too difficult. I do know my therapy took a big step when I was able to get treatment for the ADD. I guess what I am saying is that a dx is important because of how it affects the depression and trauma issues. Getting treamtent will help with those and then as you are able to move beyond the trauma things seperate themselves out so you can know what you need to do to deal with the ADD.

Are you on any medication now for your depression? I went on an antidepressant and found it worked on the depression but made my ADD worse. I switched and that has helped. I know how debilitating depression not to mention a trauma history can be so please continue to get help for that. If this therapist isn't listening to you then get another one.

If it turns out that you don't have ADD the symptoms you are dealing with will likely work out as you work thru your abuse but it took me being in therapy for 2 years before we knew about the ADD. Its like you have to peel back the layers one at a time to see what all you're dealing with.

It is most definitely not your fault that you are struggling with this. Please remember this!

Take care!

Thanks for your replies, HIXX and Fly away.

The thing is, i havent been seeing this therapist for a long time yet, and didnt even tell him everything. I didnt tell him about my chronic confusion, always losing things, being late, forgetting birthdays -including my own-, not being able to hear what a teacher/professor says, not being able to read uninteresting things, and so much more.
And i was considered an unusual child long before the abuse.
Also, i honestly feel that i have dealt with the trauma reasonably well already -after my second depressive episode. But i still mess up.
Now i handed my entire administration over to some administration person, and that cost me 40 euros a month, but its worth it. My mom helped me reorganize my house, and she still comes over every week now, to help me out.
Embarrassing, yes, but it helps so much that I am feeling a lot better now, without anti depressants too. I did use anti depressants before. I think that what they did was make me less sensitive, but my life was an equally big mess while i was on them. It just didnt bother me that much. :p

So i just cant believe that all my problems are the result of that one disturbing event, that i think i dealt with ...i think it must be more.
But perhaps i am wrong.
I want to get tested because if i do turn out to have ADD, i can get an allowance for the administrator, and i think i will need a slightly different approach to deal with my problems. Or a very different one, actually.
Because it would mean that the constant lack of structure and the stress that comes with that are major causes of my depression, and i should perhaps focus on that instead of on my social skills....
(Therapist thinks there is something wrong with my social skills. I just think that most other people are very boring! :eyebrow: )

I hear you brotha. One thing I would try to avoid is trying to influence the outcome of the diagnosys. I sometimes feel like when I go in on thursday and get the full workup if the guy says I'm not ADD I will be a little disappointed because that'll mean I am just a scatterbrained lazyass. But if the guy gets the feeling you are trying lead him to a diagnosys even if you really are ADD he might not give you the correct treatment for your condition because he/she assumes you are just med hunting

Hey, i am not a brotha! :p Look, all pink, I am a sista:o

But apart from that, my therapist agreed to put me on a waiting list to take a shortened test - a questionnaire- for both ADD and personality.
I didnt ask, but i suspect he thinks i have borderline personality disorder. I am pretty sure i dont have that (looked it up), but perhaps this test will show that?

I wonder, has any of you ever taken a similar test? :confused:

Now i have no reason to involve this :faint: smiley, but it is so cute!

:eyebrow: Sorry for assuming you were a guy. You just don't see very may ladies with sweet robo-skeletal icons:)


I guess that is the pleasure of Nat'l health care! A waiting list for everything? If you are curious you might consider checking this test out.

http://amenclinics.com/ac/tests/add_test1.php

Thanks for your replies, HIXX and Fly away.

The thing is, i havent been seeing this therapist for a long time yet, and didnt even tell him everything. I didnt tell him about my chronic confusion, always losing things, being late, forgetting birthdays -including my own-, not being able to hear what a teacher/professor says, not being able to read uninteresting things, and so much more.

Embarrassing, yes, but it helps so much that I am feeling a lot better now, without anti depressants too. I did use anti depressants before. I think that what they did was make me less sensitive, but my life was an equally big mess while i was on them. It just didnt bother me that much. :p

(Therapist thinks there is something wrong with my social skills. I just think that most other people are very boring! :eyebrow: )
Find a psychiatrist or therapist who specializes in ADD. It might be that yours specializes in depression, and doesn't work with (or even believe in) adult ADD, and it sounds like he's already made up his mind that you have depression. There's really no test that's going to confirm you have ADD. It's based on your history. Testing is expensive and generally unneccessary. Good luck to you!

Oh, but i do have depression -well, i think its nearly over now, but it was very bad for a few months, up to writing the suicide notes....:(

Anyway, i feel a lot better now, and that also raises my suspicions about ADD. With the help of a social worker i hired a person (dont know what his job is called in english) to do my administration, something i have been messing up for the last.. ehmm.. 17 years or so, so i always got into financial trouble. He now gets all my papers and deals with all of it, and that alone is such a HUGE relief!!!
Furthermore my mother helped me clear up the mountains of mess in my house, so that is gone too.
And voilà, all depressive feeling instantly start fading.

Jazzper, I think most tests are simple questionnaires anyway.. are there any other tests?? Actually, my normal doctor does think i have ADD, solely based on my history. :p But he isnt allowed to give an official diagnosis.

HIXX, i did that amen test, and scored high ( i forgot the exact words) on ADD inattentive type. I dont generally trust online test, altough i admit that this one appeared a bit more thought through than most...

:D :D But, the most important subject of this message: my avatar! It is a Rakshi (hence my forumname), and a Rakshi is a evil destructive monster from the world of the Bionicles (a series of robotic/android creatures created by Lego). My seven year old son is crazy about them!
I just thought it looks cool and i like the sound of the name.

As someone who's only relatively recently been diagnosed (coming up on a year soon), I strongly suggest you A> find someone who at least deals with ADD, and don't feel weird about asking your current therapist to refer you if it's not something they're used to dealing with, and B> ensure that they take a look at your history just as much as your current state. One of the key signs of ADD is that it's always been there; they should be able to see signs in your elementary school records and such. My therapist found oodles of stuff; practically every year I had "has trouble paying attention" or some such on my report card, from grade 2 on.

The problem is that depression and such can mimic some of the signs of ADD. It's not something you'll suddenly come down with, it's something that'll have always been there. I'm not saying or suggesting it's isn't, for you, I'm just saying that any decent testing will include historical stuff, so you should try and get to see someone who will include it.

Hi Rakshi:

Everyone has given you good advice. The one thing I learned about therapy is you have to find a good fit. Sometimes that's hard to do. Another thing is that you would get more out of therapy if you go in with specific goals. I mean it could be as simple as "Look I forget things. What do you suggest?"

For me, it was difficult at first to find someone to give me an ADD test. One place wanted I think it was $1600 dollars!!! I didn't take that one. I found a counselor who was willing to reduce her rate and the test was simplier, it did not include physical testing. I used the internet to locate most of the sources.

There are also probably books that have lists of questions that would give you an idea whether you have ADD. The benefits of being officially tested, is that my doctor will probably try medication. The benefits of using the questionnaires is that if you come up positive for ADD, there are probably steps you can take to mitigate the effects of ADD and to learn to look at aspects of ADD more positively. Since I am new to ADD, I am still learning.

It can be overwhelming to try and combat various maladies. But, if you just try one change at a time maybe that will reduce the sense of burden.

Take care, Ann