View Full Version : Attentive ADD 10 yr old boy and school


momof2lilboys
09-21-16, 01:22 PM
My son is 10 years old, he's in 5th grade. He has Attentive ADD, he has trouble focusing, staying on task, remembering things, impulsive and stubborn.

School just started, two weeks into school he's back on Vyvanse.
He rushes through his work, his penmanship is not that good.
He has a hard time putting his thoughts on papers when essays are due.
He forgets to turn in assignments or return forms into the school office the following day.

4 weeks into school and the teacher only notices a change in his social skills. He's not as social and is quite with the meds.
I'm going to buy a 3 ring binder and stick his assignment pad, folders in it with labels, return to school next day, math, classwork, etc. So when he starts his day he can open binder with folders to see what needs to be turned in.
However, he's very comfortable relying on his parents and others to help him and figure things out. I partly blame my husband because he still likes to do things for the kids because "he's just a kid". Even though he's doing him a disservice. The other part is his ADD.

I'm a stay at home mom and deal with this daily.
I enrolled him in tutoring to help him with reading comprehension and writing prior going into 4th grade. Last year was a great year, Straight A's no complaints from teacher. This year, is different. He's struggling to write, rushing, remembering, focusing..
He's on a balanced meal (omega's, protein, fruit, veggies, no sugars, carbs) in conjunction with the meds and on a sleep schedule.

I'm at a loss as to how to help my son and running out of ideas for tools to help him. Any thoughts?

ADHDWife&Mom
09-21-16, 09:25 PM
My son is the same age/grade. He has combined type ADHD.

My first thought is maybe he should try different meds. We are pretty new to this as my son just started meds about 2 months ago for the first time. We had to try different doses.

Have you noticed any difference between morning work and afternoon work? My son was doing really well with his meds in the morning but they wore off by lunch time and his afternoon work was horrible. We ended up adding a second dose in the afternoon and it seems to be really helping. It seems that those extended release pills are supposed to last all day but many times they do not.

We are still helping our son with organizing and checking up on him. At this point we are more worried about getting him on track than making sure he can do it all on his own. He is a very independent boy in most aspects but with organization and remembering he struggles and really needs some help. Im not sure how long he will need help. We are just trying things out hoping that something will work and he will be able to stick with it on his own eventually. I feel like this is one of those things that you might consider a disservice for an average child but with an ADHD child it really is something that could be needed. He really struggled with 4th grade and we spent a lot of the year trying different things that we thought might help and this year is going much better.

Is there something very different about 5th grade than 4th grade that is causing him the struggles? I would maybe talk with him about what is causing him trouble and check with the teacher about what he/she thinks about it. Does he have accommodations? There can be little things that can be done that will help.

mildadhd
09-21-16, 10:07 PM
Maybe it has something to do with your son's preferred teaching style, courses, classmates, classrooms, some new distresses at home or school, less physical activity..?

I do not know?

Have you and your husband asked your son?

Sometimes my son and I hang out, without any intentions, and sometimes he surprises me and tells me things without me asking.


G

sarahsweets
09-22-16, 03:59 AM
My son is 10 years old, he's in 5th grade. He has Attentive ADD, he has trouble focusing, staying on task, remembering things, impulsive and stubborn.

School just started, two weeks into school he's back on Vyvanse.
He rushes through his work, his penmanship is not that good.
He has a hard time putting his thoughts on papers when essays are due.
He forgets to turn in assignments or return forms into the school office the following day.

4 weeks into school and the teacher only notices a change in his social skills. He's not as social and is quite with the meds.
I'm going to buy a 3 ring binder and stick his assignment pad, folders in it with labels, return to school next day, math, classwork, etc. So when he starts his day he can open binder with folders to see what needs to be turned in.
However, he's very comfortable relying on his parents and others to help him and figure things out. I partly blame my husband because he still likes to do things for the kids because "he's just a kid". Even though he's doing him a disservice. The other part is his ADD.

I'm a stay at home mom and deal with this daily.
I enrolled him in tutoring to help him with reading comprehension and writing prior going into 4th grade. Last year was a great year, Straight A's no complaints from teacher. This year, is different. He's struggling to write, rushing, remembering, focusing..
He's on a balanced meal (omega's, protein, fruit, veggies, no sugars, carbs) in conjunction with the meds and on a sleep schedule.

I'm at a loss as to how to help my son and running out of ideas for tools to help him. Any thoughts?

People with adhd are 30% less mature than their peers so even though your son is 10, emotionally he is operating as a 7 year old in some respects. My kids are 20,16 and 13. My son, the 20 year old was alot like your son. It was a constant struggle to get him organized and I have to say, its never been that great.He is college now, and things are better because he uses a laptop. My youngest daughter (13) is also a lot like your son. No matter what we do it always seems to be that she is losing papers and forgetting assignments. One thing that helps is good communication with her teachers. I dont mean at parent conferences, I mean reaching out at the beginning of the year and setting the stage with her teachers so that when a problem does arise, at least I feel comfortable reaching out.

When she was younger I would send in a notebook that I called a communication notebook. All the teachers and aids would write in it and we would send it back and forth so I always knew how she did and what was due. I came up with this idea and the teachers all seemed to appreciate it. We dont do this anymore but we did up until 6th grade.
Does your son have an IEP or 504?

Caco3girl
09-22-16, 08:45 AM
New teacher, new classmates, new expectations, and coming off of summer which is a completely different lifestyle. My ADHD kid never does well the first few weeks back. As counterproductive as it sounds your husband has the right way of it. Your 10 year old isn't ready to take on his responsibilities yet and needs extensive help. My 14 year old is just starting to grasp the idea of doing things himself and I still have to check up on him nearly daily.

Your kid needs a road-map on how to be organized and maybe the binder will work, and maybe you will have to employ a different strategy. I always think of my son as belonging to a different culture...he didn't pick up on the "how to stay organized" cues that his counterparts did.

I think of it like trying to drop a Jewish child off at a Catholic Mass...they can sort of figure out what is going on, they can kneel when others kneel but the automatic responses given in a Catholic Mass would surprise a kid who has never been to one. If he sees the same automatic response often enough he can try to emulate what others are doing, but it takes time.

Add the new culture to the inattentive ADHD and he's only mentally present for half of what is going on anyway so even if the teacher went over on day one how she expects binders to be organized, and/or what the culture in her class is like, your son likely didn't get it. He may have to sit back and watch what others are doing in order to figure out how things are suppose to work in that classroom. It's not impossible to learn, but it takes time to pick up on what is expected and until he's sure he isn't going to say something silly or at odds with what is going on I'm sure he is being quiet. He's in a foreign culture, everything is new and he is unsure of what is going on and trying to conform and becoming discouraged every time he does something wrong.

zuzuspetals
09-22-16, 01:52 PM
Hi momof2lilboys,
Man, caco nails it. I agree, it sounds like you and your husband are both doing just about everything right. The only thing I would question is the use of meds, but I'm not a doc. The way you describe that boy... it sounds like me from childhood all the way through my undergraduate degree - exactly. I was never diagnosed (I don't think ADD was even a thing then), just encouraged and left alone. Some of us guys are just... like that - we think about alternate stuff, and we move on from one thing to another at the slightest hint of being bored. Today, my body, mind, spirit, finances (I retired at 55) and marriage are all thriving. Keep loving him like you are now!

sarahsweets
09-24-16, 10:28 AM
Hi momof2lilboys,
Man, caco nails it. I agree, it sounds like you and your husband are both doing just about everything right. The only thing I would question is the use of meds, but I'm not a doc. The way you describe that boy... it sounds like me from childhood all the way through my undergraduate degree - exactly. I was never diagnosed (I don't think ADD was even a thing then), just encouraged and left alone. Some of us guys are just... like that - we think about alternate stuff, and we move on from one thing to another at the slightest hint of being bored. Today, my body, mind, spirit, finances (I retired at 55) and marriage are all thriving. Keep loving him like you are now!

What do you mean by this? That she shouldnt use meds? Or change doses or try a different medication?