hey :D

i wanna know is there any ADD woman who is not talkative?

i'm not awfully shy...i really don't consider myself shy...but i dunno what to say most of the time...is it common?

i'm gd at taking about current events, politics, sports, but really bad at opening myself up and bring up personal topics...and then i guess having ADD makes me procrastinate on things...i keep procrastinating on friendship as well...procrastinate to develop the friendship...procrastinate on discussing personal topics...procrastinate on making phone calls to keep in touch until long time has passed and lost touch with friends...

i have been pretty much like this since junior high...but i think it becomes a problem on my career and personal relationship...

I am talkative with someone I know and I am comfortable with. I am however still kinda shy. I won't open my mouth to someone I don't really know and always worried about what to say when I have to. I have come a long ways on this though. I am not as shy as I used to be when going through school. I had no friends in school b/c I would/could not even try to get a conversation going. But too my friends and family, I am a blabbermouth.

addparent

I can be very shy around new people, and sometimes reserved. I find I am not talkative in a school environment and seem like an anti-social and reserved daydreamer.. but to most people I don't ever shut up. In fact I think my best friend has been asked "does she ever shut up" more than any other question in her life lol. I love to talk about anything and everything!!!!!!!!1

Making small talk with people I hardly know.
Is the only time I'm not talkative.

And I have all talkative friends.
Probably because when I first met them they were good at small talk.

i'm both all the time. there's no real reason eithe rway. i'm shy around new peole like wehresmykeys.

sometimes i'm overtalkative. then i shut up for a long time.
just depends on my mood etc an dlevels of hyperactivity.

I'm like that alot of time. Like when people around me are having a conversation and there are things I could say to join in but alot of time I just dont feel like talking. And especially around new people I dont talk that much at all. My boyfriend always tells people how I am around him and when they meet me they dont believe him cause I dont talk that much.

Me 2 it depends on how i feel , i am more talkative when i am hyper and i can be very quiet at some times to. It all depends on what is going on around me, if there is a lot of noise forget it i will not start a conversation i just cant .

Yes! I can be talkative at times, but especially in group settings I tend to be quiet. It might have something to do with the fact that people often don't hear what I say because I tend to speak fast, unarticulated and in a low voice (except when I'm angry :eyebrow:) ) so this makes me less inclined to say something when I know that people will probably ask me what I said.

Sometimes, it could be at dinner parties for example, I really want to talk to the persons around me. I want to ask them things, and show interest in them, but I just can't think of how to formulate what I want to say. This would be in situations when the other person doesn't start talking to me, cause then I have no problem; it might get quiet at times, but I don't think that's a big deal.

I've always been looked at as shy, I even considered myself shy, but I've realised that's not true. It was quite some time ago this happened, I don't remember excactly what I thought, but what I realised was that I didn't have difficulties with meeting new people, I atually enjoy it. It's in group settings I have problems, it's in these situations I turn quiet.

And where do we find ourselves while growing up? In school, in a class that may have the same people for something like 9 years (mine did). That has to be one of the most unflexible kinds of group settings. You get your part and your expected to play it no matter if you change, or how you develop.

I remember talking to a class mate from when I was 7-15 years old a couple of years after we left junior high ( or the equavilent to it). She mentioned she had met one of the boys, who used to be really quiet, and he had been very talkative. She thought this was really strange, but I didn't. He wasn't in school, he didn't have to play his part anymore. Maybe he was shy when he started school, but over the years this changed and he became less shy, but he wouldn't have been allowed to change. He would have been expected to comply with the part given to him based on how he used to be.

I remember telling my mother that I didn't think I was shy. She agreed and told me about how I would go up to other children and make contact at the playground etc. before starting school, but being in a group of 25-30 children, which happened when I started school I turned quiet and was considered being a shy child.

Yes! I can be talkative at times, but especially in group settings I tend to be quiet.

Sometimes, it could be at dinner parties for example, I really want to talk to the persons around me. I want to ask them things, and show interest in them, but I just can't think of how to formulate what I want to say. This would be in situations when the other person doesn't start talking to me, cause then I have no problem; it might get quiet at times, but I don't think that's a big deal. me too..tend to be much quiet in a group setting...i really assume that people dun remember what i have said anyway...so y bother to say...

and it all depends on who i hang out with...i'm ok if i hang out with a really talkative person...

i think i learn the phone conversation bad habit from my mom...since she seems to have ADHD...when i was a kid...i saw her talking on the phone with friends...she was doing other things but just give mechanican responses "um...", "yea...", "u r right...", "ok.."

i guess i pick up that habit from her...when friends talk about long stories, gossip,etc...i didn't listen 80% of the cotent...just giving mechanical responses...at the last 20%...then i started to listen and look for the cue to say something nice and elaborate on the points...

but when i'm with my family...i'm so talkative and hyper...they would never guess or believe i have these concerns in the college social setting...

my mom and dad always say that i need to cut back on my hyper gestures and fidgetness...i don't look like a lady and no guys would wanna date me...

hey :D

i wanna know is there any ADD woman who is not talkative?

i'm not awfully shy...i really don't consider myself shy...but i dunno what to say most of the time...is it common?

i'm gd at taking about current events, politics, sports, but really bad at opening myself up and bring up personal topics...and then i guess having ADD makes me procrastinate on things...i keep procrastinating on friendship as well...procrastinate to develop the friendship...procrastinate on discussing personal topics...procrastinate on making phone calls to keep in touch until long time has passed and lost touch with friends...

i have been pretty much like this since junior high...but i think it becomes a problem on my career and personal relationship...
I can relate to all of this...I do it all....and I am not shy either....but I don't talk to people, it's like a wall, very few people get past it.

My doc says it's social anxiety

im really shy. but not sure if i have add yet. but sometimes i can be talkative around my family.

Group Settings = I don't talk to much

More personal Settings = I'll talk more and actually "relax"

Family Settings = it's both depends on how my family is doing and how I feel that day

I always wondered this to cause I'm more shy but I love to talk and have fun at the same time...it's this battle with myself inside of me....blah!!

I find it very hard to make small-talk, particularly with girls. With a lot of guys you can bring up the news, politics, sports...with girls, a lot of them seem pretty clueless on any of that. I don't know what a lot of them want to talk about. I think they just want to be with their own group of friends so they can gossip and stuff.

With the female friends I've made, it's been the two of us in a similar situation that got us talking, and helped me to open up. And the fact that these girls are not shallow.

I have to agree with you there. Even though I'm a girl I still find it easyer to talk with a guy cause they are more relaxed about stuff. I do have two friends that are girls and we get along well. One has ADD so thats prob. why and the other is just really down to earth and is a sweetheart!!

Girls tend to scare me though, cause they are so into the fashions and whats going on in the world. I feel like I'm a 12 year old when I talk girls that are my same age (I'm 24)

so yeah thats all :D

It depends on whether or not I feel like being talkative at any given time.

I have to agree with you there. Even though I'm a girl I still find it easyer to talk with a guy cause they are more relaxed about stuff. I do have two friends that are girls and we get along well. One has ADD so thats prob. why and the other is just really down to earth and is a sweetheart!!

Girls tend to scare me though, cause they are so into the fashions and whats going on in the world. I feel like I'm a 12 year old when I talk girls that are my same age (I'm 24)

so yeah thats all :D
When you say girls your age are into fashion and what's going on in the world, do you mean world events? Because most females I know are into fashion and not so much WORLD events, but more celebrities' lives. They know about all the Hollywood relationships (i.e., all of Gwenyth Paltrow's boyfriends) and I listen to them talk about movie stars and I'm like :confused:

I can relate to all of this...I do it all....and I am not shy either....but I don't talk to people, it's like a wall, very few people get past it.

My doc says it's social anxiety
This is to STRUGGLING...

I procrastinate in the same way.....however, my self esteem is measured by "what I can do"....and am for the most part an over-acheiver regarding those things that have actually been completed.

I too often...."imagine" in my head....the "friendship"....or whatever else or "phone call" or what have you.....I imagine it in my HEAD....BEING COMPLETED and somehow reach a level of coping when it all falls by the wayside.....meds help alot, but if I told the doctor just how much he prolly won't believe me....that's how much they help....it's more than even I would have thought or expected. Maybe someday we can get some sort of "once a year" shot or something....to make it feel like we are cured.....lol

Perhaps stem cell research holds the key......hmmmm, food for thought......


-Rhonda Radio-

i'm both all the time. there's no real reason eithe rway. i'm shy around new peole like wehresmykeys.

sometimes i'm overtalkative. then i shut up for a long time.
just depends on my mood etc an dlevels of hyperactivity.
Hey there ADDitives......

I believe ANYONE male or female with ADD or ADHD can sometimes suffer from "diarreah of the mouth".....at any given moment, it just depends on the moment....

My own biggest problem as far as "Talkative" goes.....the complaint my entire life (I am 40 yrs. old).....was "Get to the point Rhonda!"......everybody says that to me....

Because, on any subject....or any topic.....even a mere statement.....I somehow feel I have to speak a novel.....including beginning, middle, stressing the theme...and try to put a happy ending on it. What could be carved down to a small simple sentence ends up becoming an entire storybook novel.

Ranting, and rambling.....and I even sometimes lose my own frame of thought.....lol

I forget what I was going to say in the first place.....! And for some reason, I often cause others around me to forget what it was they were talking about because I jump from one topic to another all in the same breath.....

Can anyone relate? Has anyone heard :

"Hey....can you GET TO THE POINT!" ...and this is one symptom that medicine doesn't seem to help very much, at least not for me. However, on meds I find there are far LESS COPWEBS in my brain and thoughts are much more clear and my paragraphs don't get so LOST.....lol


-Rhonda Radio-

This all sounds very familair to me. I was diagnosed with social anxiety and performance disorder many years ago and ADD just recently. I never really had problems going out in public or problems talking to people i Knew. I just had problems figuring out how to communicate with people I did not know. Once I get to know people alittle I am very talkative and babble way too much. I also have the problem "getting to the point" If I have to tell a story or describe something I am told that I make something that should take 5 miniutes take 30 because I tell more than I need to. I am also told I overexplain things way too much.I am on Lexapro right now whiich I love, I feel like I can talk to strangers normally ever since. Although I still have problems with the constant talking and overexplaining:p

Group Settings = I don't talk to much

More personal Settings = I'll talk more and actually "relax"

Family Settings = it's both depends on how my family is doing and how I feel that day

I always wondered this to cause I'm more shy but I love to talk and have fun at the same time...it's this battle with myself inside of me....blah!!
Im the same i think... if i take too much rit's im too talkative, or either, too much beer/wine :D

Hey I can relate too,

My thoughts can distract me to the point of "where am I" and if I have something to be ready for at a certain time, I have to stop and start getting ready way ahead, but the rambling thought thing is worse lately, how do you focus on just one thing without geting sidetracked into ....the next thing? I am either hyper-focusing or daydreaming, I need a happy medium-any thoughts? thanks

um...i really don't know if i'm shy or am i talkative at all?

i do see it as because my mom has ADD and i had seen her ADD traits when i grew up...she never gets to her points...daydreaming, not paying attention when spoken to...i didn't wanna be like her...and i didn't know anything about ADD back then...but i knew i didn't wanna be like her...

so i guess i tried to be more straight-forward, talk less to make to the point faster...

but now i think about it...it's funny...although i didn't wanna be like her...i get her ADD anyway...haha...i'll be like her...no matter...

i don't know if i'm shy or am i talkative...but i think i feel like i try to say something...but i cannot say it clearly and withou saying too much...i will have the tendency to say too much...so i guess i start to learn to become less talkative

Hey hey all.

As a child I was fairly shy and non talkative around people I didn't know very well if at all or , those I wasn't comfortable with or if I was unsure of myself in a social situation but around people I'm comfy with or those I know well I can be a real raving chatterbox overall I'm probably not the most talkative ADDer.

I think to say that all ADDer's or ADHDer's are talkative chatterboxes is quiet stereotypical.

Now that I'm older I tend to keep to myself only mixing with close friends and all of my close women friends have ADD/ADHD or Bipolar Disorder.

So yes there is such a thing as a NON talkative ADDer!!!!

Take Care
Selena:D

I've just accepted the fact that I'm introverted and not talkative due to many reasons. It's a behavior I've learned over the years, I think mostly as a defense mechanism. I was always a shy kid but I wouldn't call myself shy anymore, just quiet. I'm not the type of person that has this electric personality that draws everyone to them. I'm the type of person that it's going to take some time for you to get to know me. I'm very guarded. And I actually like it that way because I'm so cynical and fed up with people, I don't want anyone around me that's going to be there for a bit, then walk away. I want people around me who are genuinely interested in me as a person.

I'm also just plain horrible at expressing myself verbally. I can write my behind off though! I express myself beautifully when writing and I think it's because I have more time to think and analyze and choose my words very carefully. When I speak, and I'm not sure if it's because of my ADD, but my mind goes all to pieces. I know what I want to say, but I'm not good at thinking on my toes and putting words together to form complete and understandable sentences. And it's gotten worse over the past few months. I have it in my head what I want to say, but by the time my brain sends the signal to my lips to speak it, I'm already on to the next thought or word or sentence which should come waaaaaaaay later in the conversation, which causes me to stop and back peddle and then I get confused and then it's just all over. So that makes me not want to speak at all.

I have this fear of coming off as stupid or an airhead or embarassing myself. I hate that I can't express myself as intelligently as I write and think. I'm also very blunt. And I have this tendency to run off at the mouth and say things I shouldn't, which often gets me into trouble. So I'd rather just not say anything at all.

I'm great at talking about stuff like music because I'm a huge music fan. Or web design or graphic design, because I love to do it. Or pop culture or Harry Potter or great books I've read or movies I love. Whatever. If it's something I love or I'm passionate about, I'll go on for hours. But if you want to talk about me, forget it. Besides, I'm constantly changing and I don't know or understand myself very well yet anyways, so whatever I tell you today will most likely be different tomorrow. So there's really no point in discussing me LOL Ok. I'll stop talking now LOL This is what I mean. I blab so much when I write. I could never in a million year say any of this.

I am talkative with someone I know and I am comfortable with. I am however still kinda shy. I won't open my mouth to someone I don't really know and always worried about what to say when I have to. I have come a long ways on this though. I am not as shy as I used to be when going through school. I had no friends in school b/c I would/could not even try to get a conversation going. But too my friends and family, I am a blabbermouth.

addparent

Same here addparent...........

How's the weather up there? ;)

Hi dfac ~
Have you ever taken the Myers Briggs Type Indicator? You may be an introverted type of person (it's a good thing!), which on top of being ADD - can make forming and sustaining friendships, being socially "out-there", and good with large groups, extra challenging. BUT, there is absolutely nothing wrong or disfunctional about being that way. It's just different.
There are loads of books and sites online on Myers Briggs; I recommend you check them out. Being shy is different from being introverted. I'm an introvert and have ADD, and I have issues very similar to yours. It is good to educate yourself about types, and about where you get your energy and motivation. This self-awareness can help a lot in coping with ADD as well.
Being introverted and being ADD can often have similar characteristics - and it has helped me to learn about both, has made me feel like less of a bad person for not being such a "great friend" or socializer - and has given me some confidence to work the way I am, instead of against it.
Good Luck!
Heather :)

I am usually quiet when people first meet me. Then when they get to know me I start talking but I end up saying somthing stupid so i try not to talk to anyone that much.

I'm shy and quiet by nature, and all my friends are my friends because they befriended me, not me them. I never approach anyone first. If I'm in a group of people and there is someone who is a strong personality I won't say a peep. I just listen to everyone else.

AHAHAHHA i dont talk at all, that is me, im so untalkative. but in fun settings i go crazy and talk to strangers and hug them and all hahah

I really don't like talking unless it's about something stimulating--i.e, I HATE small talk...but I love philosophy or religion or stuff like that...

um...i think i just don't put effort into forming and maintaining friendships

i have a few best friends...those i tried my best to maintain...

but others...i dun really care...i dunno how come i view the world in this way...but i feel like some ordinary friends, after college graduation i won't see them again...why bother to try hard to maintain...especially we don't get along extremely well

i hate this...i just can't make small talks to other females and behave like other females...and u know...dun make small talks = no female friendships...i hate when ppl judge me by how well i fit into the female stereotypes...i'm from hk, grew up in hong kong but i just couldn't fit into the typical hk stereotypes either....

i'm lost in cultures and genders...