View Full Version : As a child, were you "mature" for you age?


castalia
09-29-16, 01:27 PM
I rarely had friends throughout my school years. In fact, I was extremely lonely (and an only child) in elementary school partly because I emigrated to the US at age 9 without speaking English and then partly because my classmates did not like my attitude. When I did make a friend or two, it was always with kids who were outcasts themselves. As a result I developed social anxiety well into my twenties and had a subconscious belief that no one really liked me.

As a child, my interests were not the same as those of my peers. I read books on mythology and history and was not in the slightest interested in boys when my peers in high school were going crazy about the cute ones. I also did not work after school (my parents didn't want me to) and I was constantly losing things. My room was always a mess. However, despite all that, I was the top student in my class in the subjects that interested me and I got a PhD from one of the top universities in the world.
As a child and teen, I was called a "walking encyclopedia" and I actually thought that it was a compliment! I only became interested in men from my mid-20s.

Is this part of ADD or am I just an anomaly?

mctavish23
09-29-16, 07:12 PM
Um, I was (and still am) immature for my age :D :eek:

Welcome to the Forum.

tc

mctavish23

(Robert) :cool:

TygerSan
09-29-16, 09:13 PM
I rarely had friends throughout my school years. In fact, I was extremely lonely (and an only child) in elementary school partly because I emigrated to the US at age 9 without speaking English and then partly because my classmates did not like my attitude. When I did make a friend or two, it was always with kids who were outcasts themselves. As a result I developed social anxiety well into my twenties and had a subconscious belief that no one really liked me.

Yes, yes. A thousand times yes. I don't know if it's an ADHD thing or not, but I was totally not like other kids. At all. I had a hard time navigating the social world that is pre-teens/teenagers. Middle school was hell.

I talked to the wrong people (including the guy with cerebral palsy). I stood up for the fat kid and got teased for the next three years because of it.

I got made fun of at camp for wanting to um. . . actually interact with the nature around us when we were on a hike.

In some ways I feel like I was more "mature" than the rest of the kids, and in some ways I feel like I'm constantly catching up.

castalia
09-29-16, 10:06 PM
Yes, yes. A thousand times yes. I don't know if it's an ADHD thing or not, but I was totally not like other kids. At all. I had a hard time navigating the social world that is pre-teens/teenagers. Middle school was hell.

I talked to the wrong people (including the guy with cerebral palsy). I stood up for the fat kid and got teased for the next three years because of it.

I got made fun of at camp for wanting to um. . . actually interact with the nature around us when we were on a hike.

In some ways I feel like I was more "mature" than the rest of the kids, and in some ways I feel like I'm constantly catching up.

Do you think this was because they subconsciously knew that something was different with you?
My teachers sometimes didn't know what to do with me. I was the smart kid who was great at certain subjects (I aced geography and history) but didn't care much about math. They could also tell that I was different, but I didn't cause any trouble. So the problem was, do they put me with in the class with the gifted kids or in the class with the retarded ones (because my social skills were not great)?

Twiggy
09-29-16, 11:07 PM
I don't think I was ever "mature" enough...not even to this day.

Cyllya
09-30-16, 12:13 AM
I was similar to most of your description, and I was considered "mature" by most of the adults.

I wasn't ever lonely because (a) I was friends with a couple other weirdos (b) I'm such an introverted person that I rarely wanted company (c) my social skills were so bad that I often didn't realize when I was being rejected or criticized! Later, when my social skills became less bad, I did end up getting social anxiety.

I knew I was different, but it didn't bother me. At some points, it was something I was proud of.

("Walking encyclopedia" isn't a complement?)

I think most kids with ADHD are probably considered immature, but these traits will contribute toward adults thinking they're mature:

inattentive rather than hyperactive -- bonus points if they're less rambunctious than typical kids that age
untalkative
introverted OR socially anxious, as long as it doesn't cause trouble for the adults
read a lot
higher IQ than normal AND/OR good at academics

sarahsweets
09-30-16, 04:20 AM
Immaturity is like a find wine.....it gets better with age.

TygerSan
09-30-16, 10:48 AM
My teachers sometimes didn't know what to do with me. I was the smart kid who was great at certain subjects (I aced geography and history) but didn't care much about math. They could also tell that I was different, but I didn't cause any trouble. So the problem was, do they put me with in the class with the gifted kids or in the class with the retarded ones (because my social skills were not great)?

Yup. The technical term is twice exceptional. I was not a discipline issue, so teachers really didn't care about the social stuff. I was good at school and good at fitting into the structure of school. I actually spent most of my time arguing and self-advocating for the accommodations that made my school career successful. There were definitely teachers who resented the fact that I needed extra time to get through stuff.

ginniebean
09-30-16, 11:36 AM
i am on old soul and forever youthful. i relate to what you say in many ways.. But mature? Yes. And nu uh

Fuzzy12
09-30-16, 12:42 PM
I was similar to most of your description, and I was considered "mature" by most of the adults.

I wasn't ever lonely because (a) I was friends with a couple other weirdos (b) I'm such an introverted person that I rarely wanted company (c) my social skills were so bad that I often didn't realize when I was being rejected or criticized! Later, when my social skills became less bad, I did end up getting social anxiety.

I knew I was different, but it didn't bother me. At some points, it was something I was proud of.

("Walking encyclopedia" isn't a complement?)

I think most kids with ADHD are probably considered immature, but these traits will contribute toward adults thinking they're mature:

inattentive rather than hyperactive -- bonus points if they're less rambunctious than typical kids that age
untalkative
introverted OR socially anxious, as long as it doesn't cause trouble for the adults
read a lot
higher IQ than normal AND/OR good at academics


That was me as a kid too. St least till secondary school
Then my grades dropped and I wasn't the little polite girl anymore that all adults loved.

Stevuke79
09-30-16, 10:31 PM
I can relate to a lot of what you wrote. It could have to do with ADHD. I also think that moving to a country at a young age and learning a new language and stimulate your intellectual develolment.

Anyway, I always thought I was very mature for my age. Adults around me always told me I was and I always assumed that's why I didn't fit in. In some ways it was true but in other ways the opposite was true.

On the one hand I had more sophistocated interests and a very developed sense of responsibility. I was also much more sensitive and intuitove than my peers.

On the other hand I never seemed to behave the way that was expected... either by kids or teachers. I was never where I was supposed to be and I could never keep up with directions or manage to fit in with a crowd .... which i think in some ways was indicative of a developmental delay... which would mean I was less mature.

So is this like what you experienced? Or we you "all around" more mature?

castalia
09-30-16, 10:49 PM
I can relate to a lot of what you wrote. It could have to do with ADHD. I also think that moving to a country at a young age and learning a new language and stimulate your intellectual develolment.

Anyway, I always thought I was very mature for my age. Adults around me always told me I was and I always assumed that's why I didn't fit in. In some ways it was true but in other ways the opposite was true.

On the one hand I had more sophistocated interests and a very developed sense of responsibility. I was also much more sensitive and intuitove than my peers.

On the other hand I never seemed to behave the way that was expected... either by kids or teachers. I was never where I was supposed to be and I could never keep up with directions or manage to fit in with a crowd .... which i think in some ways was indicative of a developmental delay... which would mean I was less mature.

So is this like what you experienced? Or we you "all around" more mature?

Oh yes, I can relate. I was mature in certain ways but immature in social skills. I remember being very blunt and offending people without meaning to do so. I would also tell people how I felt straight up without realizing that they could use the information against me.

sarahsweets
10-01-16, 08:13 AM
Maturity is overrated.

Little Missy
10-01-16, 08:30 AM
I sure thought I was very mature for my age.

julialouise
10-01-16, 09:01 PM
i was considered mature for my age, especially in elementary and middle school, and i definitely think it has more to do with the inattentive symptoms. but when my friends would fight in 6th-8th grade, i was always the "mediator" or "voice of reason"

i also have always seemed to understand abstract concepts and higher levels of thinking, specifically about human nature, philosophy, religion, etc

i never fit in with kids at school, and i still feel strange/unwanted/weird when i'm in a group of people i consider friends, but its not so bad right now, because all my friends have issues similar to mine, and some that are different.

i try to be financially responsible, but thats really difficult,... it feels like theres no hope for me to ever save receipts, balance a check book, or take care of "adult" matters on my own. i can't tell if i'm emotionally sensitive or actually emotionally immature.

aeon
10-02-16, 12:14 AM
I was considered mature for my age as a child.

This likely was because I was well-mannered and polite, in part because I was reared to be, and in part because I was a people-pleaser in search of praise for my behavior.

I was most definitely a daydreamer, not the kind of child who was a fidgeter, or energy-animated in any way.

I was talkative in turn and when it was acceptable to be so, but I never talked out of turn, or in class, etc.

I read constantly as a child, and I read early and at an advanced level, so if I talked about a book, it was almost certainly with another adult who had read it.

I sought out adults for company when I was small, because they were always interesting to me.

Now Iím likely behind the curve, lol, and I donít care. :lol: :p ;) :yes:


Cheers,
Ian

karenparker
10-02-16, 04:14 AM
Apparently (I talked to my mother) I was mature, hmm, intellectually, while being significantly less mature emotionally.
I feel like it didn't change all that much over the years.

unpsychable
10-06-16, 03:59 AM
Catalia,

Your story is almost same as mine except for:

I still have social anxiety but didn't feel that people dislike me. I realized that I am 'different' and I should work on it.
I was good at studies but was forced to learn stuff I wasn't very keen about. It's an issue with our education system so my education is pretty much screwed up.

I also read a lot and considered mature for my age.

What haunts me from this thread is Ian's comment: First off, his description matches mine EXACTLY. Daydreaming, well-mannered, talkative and reading.

However, the people pleaser in my made me do a lot of unwanted things. It is a big problem with me. I am too considerate and sometimes, people don't even try to hide the fact that they are taking advantage of me. Worse, sometimes, it is perceived as my responsibility.

After my diagnosis, I learned not to encourage such behavior but I still commit to many things I don't have to. When a favor is portrayed as my 'job' I get mad and end up relationships. It sucks.

peripatetic
10-09-16, 10:35 PM
No, the opposite. The 30% rule totally applies in my case.