I have just had yet another call from the school, saying my son is having a hard time staying focused in the afternoon and takes time to settle down, tries to negotiate everything ie. they ask where his glasses are, he says he doesnt know.. just tries to be awkward, he also does this at home, plays the fifth, like he doesnt hear things, says he doesn't know and he does - how do u deal with this to make it not happen anymore.

The school are on my back to take him back to the doctors to up his meds, I am really against this, I have a hard time having him on the meds, he is 8 and on 18mg of concerta.... I am just wondering if anyone has had any luck with changing the childs diet... I know take out preservatives, sugars etc, but I would like some actual ideas of lunches as I am at a bit of a loss.

Thanks, and also thanks to everyone who has responded to my other threads.

N

My daughter was constantly losing her glasses. I finally bought the ugliest chain I could find and attached them to her glasses so she looked like an old woman but hey they were always on her face or around her neck. She quickly learned to keep track of her glasses so she could get rid of that chain. girls are vain they make it a little easier.

My nephew is adHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHd the school started bringing him in 5 minutes before recess let out so he could calm down and get his act together. My sister in law said they did it for a month and told him that if he could focus and stay focused they would stop calling him in early. Apparantly it worked.

Both my kids acted this way from the time they hit 8 until well I'm still waiting for it to end. I've noticed a lot of other kids acting this way as well and they are not ADD. I have the feeling its a growing thing once in awhile when my kids want something I return the behaviour so they know how it feels unfortunatly they forget quickly and its a repetative problem so if anyone else has crafty advice please share. Cause I don't much care for this ride.

Your not alone if that is any consolation,
Cherity

I am glad I am not alone, my son will often play "dumb" when asked something but if I say calmly okay well I can this or that will not happen, he will go .. oh hang on I know .... it is sneaky behaviour..... the other week he was grounded and had $3 in his pocket and at the grocery store he went after I told him he couldn't till grounding was done and bought stuff out of the kiddie machines.. I told him to throw the toys in the garbage and he was ****y about it, then decided to take on the toys out and just throw away the ball it came in.. I caught him on that too and made him throw it away... this week I was at the grocery store and told him not to spend his money in a machine.. relief.. one war won only another billion to go :)

My daughter is ADD/ODD has your doctor mentioned Oppositional Defiance Disorder? Your son sounds so much like my daughter but at the sametime I think a lot of the behaviours are relevent to their age just taken to another extreme. They aren't testing the waters to see how far they can go before the bottom falls out, they are leaping into the middle of the lake and trying to find a foothold. If that makes sense?

Instead of picking her toys up and putting them in the toy box 5 feet from her my daughter will pick her toys up, walk them thru the living room, kitchen to the trash can and throw them away after giving me that "I hate you" glare. What a shocker when I took them out to the dumpster and wouldn't let her retrieve them.

I go grocery shopping anymore when my kids are at home. I just can't stand to take anyone with me I always over spend and am constantly getting that page "Cherity (yes they know me on a first name basis by now) your daughter/son is once again lost, you know where to find them". ARgh I hate that page, I hate over spending even more. NOpe they can stay at home with their "I need this, I need that" daddy lol.

Hi .. yes the doctor said he was borderline ODD.... I think part of it is age too but my fiance does not ... he has a son same age who is totally different to my son.. so he gages behaviours based on this, as he hasn't really been around kids of this age ... so I have that barrier to break too.
I do not have a problem anymore shopping, I used to... but now I give him little jobs to do, like go ask for my deli meats at the counter, or go pick me 6 lemons... he is a good helper there....
I get this often if he knows he has done something, he will say fine i will put my stuff in the garbage or he likes to use this line if I am disciplining, "see I knew you didn't love me" or " I am ugly and stupid and that is why I act like this.
It is a constant job to keep the self esteem up ... but sometimes it is hard if they just do not listen.

I get this often if he knows he has done something, he will say fine i will put my stuff in the garbage or he likes to use this line if I am disciplining, "see I knew you didn't love me" or " I am ugly and stupid and that is why I act like this.
It is a constant job to keep the self esteem up ... but sometimes it is hard if they just do not listen.
Sounds to me your son is manipulating you when he says that. All my kids when through this phase and my daughter who just turned 8 yrs old is starting that wonderful time :eek: :rolleyes: :) . My way of dealing with it, is i dont make a big deal about it, i dont even acknoledge that, i do acknowledge positive talking tho.

My daughter is 9 dx ADHD (and I am beginning to think probably ODD, too), anyway, she behaves in the same manner. I do think it is a stage of growing up and with the added ADHD it seems to be intensified. I have no idea if there is anything that could help it get better, but like all the other stages I'm sure it will pass, too. The other day my girls had an awards ceremony at school and we had to get them something nice to wear and new shoes for it and of course I had forgotten until the last min. so we were rushed. First, my daughter absolutely pitched a fit because they didn't have any dresses in a solid yellow in the style that I was willing to buy, so I compromised and we did indeed find a yellow that I thought was appropraite. Then, we headed to the shoe store and stood in the aisle and yelled at each other for 20 mins over shoes. The employees kept coming over trying to be "helpful" (I know they just wanted us to leave). We really needed to get her some decent shoes and I would not give in to the horrible, ugly, expensive things she kept picking out and she resisted everything I put in front of her. I should mention that this in NOT the way we usually shop for clothes because when presented with too many choices my daughter gets kind of manic and irritable and can't make a decision. I normally sit her away from her sizes, pull a few items and then let her make her choice away from everything else, but we only had a about and hour and a half until we had to be at the ceremony so this was anything but normal. Anyway, she finally realized that while I can compromise on some stuff, clothing and shoe choices ultimately come to my final decision -- it's my money and she is a child so she'd best pick her battles wisely. It was a very uncomfortable situation with strangers trying to be "helpful" and us making a huge scene, but in the end she got a decent pair of shoes that are appropriate for a 9 year old and she learned that no matter what when I feel something is imprtant enough I WILL stand my ground.

BTW, does anyone's child use the "I didn't know" line? My daughter loves to do something totally against the rules and then when caught give me the oh-so-innocent look accompanied by the phrase, "I didn't know!"

LOL, gotta' love raising these kids nothing is ever typical!!:D

I get the "I don't know" line all the time..... but now I have started to give my son an immediate time out... he knows he is trying to be sassy.. so I tell him he had better go take a sit down then to think about knowing..... of course it immediately springs to mind then...... lol
Who are these kids kidding - we have done and tried everything they will ever think of so we are one step ahead.. saying that there are a couple of times my son has surprised me .. I didn't think he had it in him to some something... lol

HI
My 7 yr old daughter had nothing but trouble from the word go at school. She went to a private school for her 1st year (transtion) and every afternoon without fail I would have to talk to the teacher about her behaviour. Nothing I said to Taye would convince her to start behaving in class b/c she was certain the teacher had it in for her (looking back now I agree the teacher was very old school & never let any child express themself). After school ended that yr we moved states & i put her into public schooling & her grade 1 teacher here was nothing but helpful & understanding towards Taye. Halfway through the yr I finally was listened to & got her dx. Since then she has come along in leaps & bounds but I found she was still having problems settleing after lunch (at her school they have lunch at 10:50 and the little lunch in the arvo as it's too hot to be playing in the middle of the day) so this made the rest of the day lots of fun for the teacher. By pure accident I stummbled across an additive book which lists them all. I removed additive 102 & 104 from her diet altogether. Tartrazine yellow. It's in a lot of products but the change and calmness that comes from her now is great. Even her teacher this yr has commented on how calm she is after lunch now....in the additive book it says straight out that 102 causes hyperactivity in children who have ADD/ADHD.
hope this helps

I am glad I am not alone, my son will often play "dumb" when asked something but if I say calmly okay well I can this or that will not happen, he will go .. oh hang on I know .... it is sneaky behaviour..... the other week he was grounded and had $3 in his pocket and at the grocery store he went after I told him he couldn't till grounding was done and bought stuff out of the kiddie machines.. I told him to throw the toys in the garbage and he was ****y about it, then decided to take on the toys out and just throw away the ball it came in.. I caught him on that too and made him throw it away... this week I was at the grocery store and told him not to spend his money in a machine.. relief.. one war won only another billion to go :)
Oh wow. My son is doing this exact sort of thing and I just can't seem to get him to stop.
I always praise him when he does a good job. So all that's left is for me to punish him when he does something like this.... but nothing I've tried has worked.
There are a couple of huge devastating punishments left, but until I've taken him to a doctor I don't want to try them.
I took him to a doctor months and months ago for his ADD, but it was very expensive and being ADD myself it took me FOREVER to finally get us on medicaid. Now that we finally are, it's too late for the time being because he is off to spend the summer with my parents now.
I wanted to have a nice weekend with him because he's leaving but he's pulling this stuff again, and to do something fun would feel like rewarding him for bad behavior.

Grrr. He's very frustrating.