View Full Version : Advice for Talking to Doctor?


BlitheDragon
10-11-16, 12:57 AM
I'm really scared to bring up the possibility of ADD to a doctor.

I've always suspected that maybe this was something I should look into, and it's been commented on by coworkers and family that maybe I may need to talk to a doctor. I have other issues that may be the cause of the ADD-like symptoms (thyroid disease, anxiety disorders, depression) which is why I want to talk to a professional. My symptoms have really caused me difficulties with friends and at work and even at home.

But, at the same time I have friends that tell me that I'm overthinking things and that I can't have ADD. This is really difficult for me, especially after a friend was diagnosed I wanted to talk to them about how they spoke with their doctor and how their medication was helping them and how I might go about seeing someone because I had similar symptoms. He blew up at me- essentially calling me a faker and how their illness was serious and not 'everyone' has it. I tried to explain that I understood it was very serious and that's why I was asking but he just kept on belittling me.

It really stopped me from asking anyone for help after that. Now I constantly second guess myself and my anxiety convinces me that I am a faker even though I have so many of the symptoms that I look up, and every 'do you have ADD' quiz I can find recommends I talk to a doctor.

I guess I wanted to know if anyone may have been/is still in the same boat and some tips on overcoming my anxieties and discussing this with a doctor.

I hope my rambling makes sense, I appreciate any advice.
Thank you!

Swissy
10-11-16, 08:31 AM
I could have written this exact post! Here is my timeline with this decision:

1. Always joked about my ADD causing me to forget things, overlook things, lose things and be a hot mess in the organization category. But, noooo, I can't REALLY be ADD.

2. Always told I am good at my job, skated through school with decent grades, so noooo, I can't REALLY be ADD.

3. A friend who is dx'd ADD tells me about her symptoms, I have ALL OF THEM. Tells me about how good she feels with treatment. But still, I am 40, NOOO, I am NOT ADD.

4 Recently I can't hold my ***** together. I am getting anxious, depressed about it (But not depression, make sense?) my husband is getting frustrated that I am forgetting to mail out bills, losing his stuff, etc... But I can't be, right? I am just stressed and overworked, right?

So I start reading about ADD online. I have taken online evals. And say what? I am ADD? But then I read how people try to fake it because of the "drugs" and I feel like if I go ask a doc I will be "judged." But when I look back at my childhood I had extreme anxiety, I had to go to a counselor before & after class to help me make sure I had my homework, I was an annoying, loud, bouncy child. But I was pretty much called 'stupid' and 'heartless' my whole life so I never thought there was a reason other than my own idiocy for all of this.

Lately I have had mood swings, no motivation, I don't care about stuff anymore. I am not depressed, per say, but I am very upset and just "meh" about everything. I can't follow conversations, I constantly misplace things, but I am 40. I have convinced people I am good at my job (when I have one). My PCP (who I have issues with) tells me since I was a good student and have a successful career I can't be ADD. But then I read stuff that says the opposite.

I am afraid to call a doctor. I don't want a psychiatrist because I don't need to tell my life's tragedies to anyone. I just want to be able to manage my life, so my friend gave me her neurologist info. But that title scares me. And then I scare myself into thinking I am faking. And i just can't stop the cycle of thinking thinking thinking. To the point I am driving and suddenly I am at my destination and don't really remember the drive because I was so wrapped up in my thinking. Then I realize sometimes my problem is being TOO focused, which makes me miss ***** that's going on around me... so how can I have ADD?

Sorry I rambled. You aren't alone. Let me know your next step and how it goes. Maybe you can give me some courage :)

Bluechoo
10-11-16, 08:43 AM
Try talking to a doctor instead of your friends. The doctor is going to be way more supportive, no matter what their opinion is, than your friend who accused you of faking it. I have known people like that, and they were usually hiding from a truth they were unwilling to admit to themselves.

You are in distress, and you need help. You should not feel guilty or anxious about taking that courageous step to ask for a professional's opinion.

Unmanagable
10-11-16, 08:44 AM
Welcome to the neighborhood! :)

I took a list of symptoms and my struggles, in writing, with a copy for me and a copy for them, to my doc and then a counselor/therapist who both agreed it sounded like adhd, then later visited a psychiatrist, who deemed it to be severe adhd. (we won't discuss all the in betweens and the misdiagnoses - the process is pretty much the same, regardless of the results)

I find I have to prepare in advance and take things in writing to be able to use my professional treatment peeps to the best of my, and their, abilities to get the most help out of their professional knowledge.

I also request they provide me with their assessment, suggestions, etc. in writing. I take notes during my appts., too. And later, I ask for copies for my records, especially of any tests that are done. I used to not do that, but painfully learned through several experiences of professional incompetency that it's in my own best interest.

Bmddolemite
10-11-16, 09:15 AM
There is nothing to be scared of. I know you are probably thinking exacted what I would be, the heck there isn't you have no idea what its like stranger. YOU'RE RIGHT I DON'T. NO ONE DOES. INCLUDING YOUR FRIEND PARENT LOVED ONES AND EVEN THE DOCTOR WHO YOU WILL SEE won't ever be able to know what its like.

I have personally and alll anyone can do is exactly what you did try and explain to a friend that by asking them it was a sign that I understand that you are struggling and I am in no way projecting that I understand what you deal with. I just have struggles of my own that hoping you would have insight on . The friend was misplaced anger nothing intentionally mean just something that I believe was still hard for them to explain without lashing out for various reasons endless.

I would have been the most fervent one against me having ADD being born in 1982 late 90s even though was known the idea that by age 17 I'm graduating high school highest honor's choice of college on full scholarship academics and\or hockey scholarship to any school I wanted. 2 years of college already done fro!m taking AP classes. Senior year I could have taken teachers aide PE and elective have first lunch so be done before 11am. I still took 6 periods all AP classes with scholarships in hand for hockey since freshman year. I didn't need it for my college applications or anything like that had just gotten 1540 on SAT as a Jr. ZERO REASON TO TAKE MORE. Especially because I was already getting paid three times that my teacher's made when I was 15 I had a contract for 6 figures a year and could go right to professional hockey if I wanted to take the million dollar signing bonus right out of high school. ADD NO WAY I HAVE ANYTHING WRONG.

I was happy kid outgoing no problem with dating life actually embarrassingly easy. I didn't fall under any of the symptoms. However deep down something wasn't right just off. School was always easy for me. My older sister and I had some years of friction because I had to just show up and ace my classes while she worked herself to death to get valedictorian. Life slapped me in the face during my physical after being drafted in the first round of NHL draft to the Phoenix Coyotes closest team to Las Vegas my home town. I had been lucky to be alive playing unknown to me fracture of 6 vertebrae that never healed right and if hit right since didn't heal the right way severed spinal cord . NEVER COULD PLAY AGAIN AT 18 Needlepoint to say I had a lot of time alone after surgeries not in the greatest state of mind I was depressed like no other got addicted to the medication the doctors handed out like candy and was a zombie for years I had a hard time with anger and everything. One day I don't know how or why I ended up with adderall but I took one while I decided to just get real estate license mom owns a century 21 get her off my back I don't want to do a thing. That adderall was as if your a car and 25 years driving along with no idea there was windshield wipers and defrost the haze the jumbled thoughts the million miles per hour my mind went could see think clearly controlled.

I was very not ashamed of it but didn't broadcast that I have to set an alarm 15 mins early to take my adderall pain killer muscle relaxers and xanax go back to bed just to I guess feel like everyone else. Its a hard thing to deal with for everyone in there own ways because and just my belief nothing else is that we are alone every day like it or not with each pill or whatever we take or do reminding you that you aren't normal. I kept with the adderall it saved my life. I didn't need what was the 20th antidepressant they were trying that just made me feel nothing which is no way to live. Alcoholic to my wonderful girlfriend who came in town and brought me over a bottle of my favorite drink to notice that the one. She got me the month before was still in the box in the same spot she put it. I didn't evren notice that I had stopped drinking or try to it literally was a shock to me . Pain kil!ERS which is the worst to need because of what it does to you has cut down 70% and my xanax was a only emergency thing from 2 bars a day.

I'm only 34 and hope to have a long life but by accident I found out I had ADD and anyone can do the math an figure out just how many years it saved my life in not needing all the other crap. IT MANIFEST ITSELF INWARD AND OUTWARDLY IN WAYS AS unique as your fingerprint. My girlfriend has been diagnosed with depression anxiety ADD since little and we are polar opposite in way it effect's us personally and how it effects us outwardly polar opposite but we've learned so much from each other. If you had to guess how the heck I managed to snag myself not only a women I never dreamt of BC even in my dreams the idea of someone so perfect too wild for my dreams and at 34 have my as society would say "trophy wife".

IS BC OF THE ADD ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION WE BOTH HAVE EVEN THOUGH IT'S DAY AND NIGHT COMPLETE OPPOSITE WE BOTH KNOWS THAT THERE IS THAT UNDERSTANDING. THATS WHERE I STARTED AND ENDED FOR A REASON.

DOCTOR IS TRAINED AND WANTS NOTHING MORE THEN TO UNDERSTAND AND MOST OF ALL HELP YOU UNDERSTAND. THERE'S MANY TYPES FORMS TREATMENT ECT WITH ADD ADHD AND WE ARE LEARNING MORE AND MORE NEW MORE EFFECTIVE TREATMENT AS UNDERSTANDING GROWS.

THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS IS THAT YOU KNOW SOMETHING JUST ISN'T RIGHT. GO TO A DOCTOR AND BE EXCITED FOR THE DOCTOR TO DO THEIR JOB TAKE IT AS THE OPPORTUNITY IT IS.

A CHANCE TO MAKE YOU HAPPIER. IF YOU ASK ME CARING WORRYING WONDERERING IF YOU ARE HAVING THE BEST QUALITY OF LIFE YOU'RE CAPABLE OF ....... SEEMS RATHER LOGICAL TO ME. I HOPE IN SOME WAY MY RAMBLING helped.

ginniebean
10-11-16, 03:50 PM
Talk to the Oregon chapter of CHADD and see if they can give you the name of adhd knowledgable doctors. Your friends approval means nothing. If you want to be taken seriously finding a doc that will take you seriously is your firat step.

caretothepeople
10-12-16, 09:53 AM
Please don't keep this to yourself and have the conversation with your doctor. Getting a proper evaluation is not only a way to ease your worries but opens the door to getting the right care– or rule out other causes for the symptoms. Look at it this way: what have you got to lose to just ask your doc?

Itcan be really stressful to bring up. It makes us feel vulnerable to talk about symptoms, especially if you've been so harshly judged in the past! A good doctor, particular one who specializes in adult ADHD, can help. Great suggestion above to reach out to CHADD and see what they recommend.

Also, here are some general questions to talk over with the doctor. maybe these will be a helpful start:



Are you familiar with diagnosing ADHD in adults? How long have you been diagnosing ADHD in adults? What is your treatment philosophy?
What kinds of tests do I need?
What treatments are available and which do you recommend?
What are the alternatives to the primary approach that you're suggesting?
Should I see a specialist such as a psychiatrist or psychologist?
What medications are under consideration? Why start with a particular medication? What can you expect to happen? How should you evaluate the effect of the medication?

ToneTone
10-12-16, 06:08 PM
It's quite typical for people to not be responsive when we share with them our initial suspicions that we might have ADHD.

I remember the time I figured out that I must have had it ... I felt like the world shifted, that I had suddenly gained some new and helpful understanding of my mind, my brain and my life. I'm understating things. This realization was blockbuster for me, HUGE!

And I called up my oldest brother (now deceased) to read the symptoms to him ... He was undiagnosed, but his symptoms were far worse than mine ... He reacted a little bit, but not much. I'm literally reading the symptoms that describe and capture his life ... and he's blah ... And I'm trying to have a conversation about how this diagnosis seems to fit and the possibilities it holds for reducing the amount of frustration and failure in our lives ... and very little interest.

In his time ADHD was not much diagnosed ... and sad but true story ... He never did seek a diagnosis ... His ADHD was so bad that it made it really hard for him to stop and think and get a diagnosis ... He later fell ill and a lot of the illness was from self-neglect, a frequent ADHD trait ... and he died two years ago.

That's all a setup to say that the world is indifferent to ADHD. Most people think it's a fake condition ... and that ADHDers just need to "get themselves together." So in reality, I've had very few helpful or interesting conversations with friends about the condition.

The people I've had the best conversations with are people who I found out were also diagnosed. Both of these people are colleagues and with them, I can laugh at all the oddities of the condition and how we struggle to meet deadlines and get work done and not get fired or overwhelmed by life. Other folks with the condition GET IT! Get how major the condition is, how debilitating and maddening and frustrating its symptoms are.

On a related note, I have had interesting conversations with a lot of highly organized people as long as I don't mention ADHD. When I stay focused on the symptoms and how this particular person clearly does not have the symptoms, I can get into pretty good conversations. But I don't use the word "symptoms." I simply say, "I'm not good at running meetings or serving on committees or managing anyone but myself." I say this to colleagues who are highly organized ... and I make my point with no shame. There are other people skills I have that these organized folks don't have. And I've had interesting conversations about how the people who can run things have brains that are totally different from mine. I have gotten to the point where I can marvel at what their brains can do without feeling the slightest bit insecure about my brain.

So you've got to trust yourself on this. Most of us came to this conclusion quite reluctantly. And I'll say this: part of successfully coping with the condition is making sure we don't pretend we're something that we're not (me thinking I can run a committee). And the minute I pretend on my job that I can use a certain organization system--and I know I can't--I get into big big trouble and make my word doubly hard and doubly frustrating. A few years after I got diagnosed, I was having a real frustration with a computer program that my school uses. I found a much easier system and discovered that my school didn't care what system I used ... So I used the system that was a lot easier for an ADHD person.

So this is a great moment and opportunity for you to trust yourself, schedule an appointment, seek a diagnosis. If you get it, look up CHADD or another ADHD support group.

Good luck.

Tone