I will try to make this as brief as possible. I have 3 children, my oldest daughter who is 13 and I both have inattentive ADD. I am divorced from their father and he is married to a woman who has 3 children, the oldest (12) was diagnosed with tourettes about few years ago. I have had a decent relationship with my ex and his wife, we actually watch the boys ballgames together, along with her ex and his fiance - way to sordid, I know. My kids spend 3 nights a week with my ex, those nights there are 6 kids there ranging in age from 13 down to 7.

The boy with tourettes has had a few rage attacks lately. I have not seen one, but my daughter called me once when she was alone with him and he was having one and I could hear him. He was screaming and throwing things for about 10 minutes - basically going nuts. He has been taking his frustrations out on my 8 year old son lately. I know he is jealous of him, things come very easy to my son. He is great in sports, homework is a breeze, tons of friends and best of all he is oblivous to the fact that he excels at things. He is just a happy go lucky easy kid. During these rages he directs it at my son, I am concerned that he will do something to hurt him. They leave the kids home alone sometimes (6 of them) and I am worried that he will have an outburst while they are away and it will be directed at him. I told my ex today that if he needs to be somewhere I would keep the kids that night because I would prefer if they not be home alone because of this. His wife called me later asking what I had against her kids and screaming at me. She has had a very difficult time with her son being diagnosed and thinks everyone is judging him. My ex understood my concern, but I have caused a big us vs. them thing at their house. I have never seen a rage attack so I am wondering what people think, am I wrong to worry about my children's safety? He isn't very big but I am assuming with adreneline during something like this he is stronger than usual, and also he doesn't have to be big or strong if he grabs a knife.

Am I overreacting?

This is out of the blue in my head, but, I'm thinking your number 1 responsibility is YOUR children.

Your ex should be supportive, but as he is married to another woman he may feel the pressure of that alliance as well and be stuck in the middle.

I'll bet the mother of the lad with tourettes is just heartbroken and sick with worry that her son's involuntary/uncontrolled rages are going to destroy his ability to have friends altogether, and she probably already has seen that plain old tourettes means that friends are hard to come by. Meanwhile children with tourettes are just as sensitive and warm and loving in their hearts as any other child. Isn't that crappy???

I'm going to put a vote on suggesting you have a sensitive mother to mother talk in all honesty and sincerity and discuss what your concerns are and how can you help, but what the boundaries are for safety for your kids.

I might just be feeling all mushy right now, but I really feel for both of you moms.

cs

I like the sounds of that too cs.

Keep us posted with how it goes please Debs.