View Full Version : Adhd ruining everything in my life and im at a loss to stop it.


mozetows
10-22-16, 06:09 AM
Long story but i had adhd as a kid, a lonely attention craving juvenile delunquent whom spent 12-18 in juvenile placements. IQ 140... I dropped out of school in the 7th grade and fumbled thru my own raising.
18-26 nothing i did went right. There were substance abuse issues and other happenings. I mostly roamed with menial jobs and a lower scale kinda life. Dad was diagnosed bipolar in there somewhere.
26-30 prison. No biggie. 2000 I'm home doing well with gf whom i marry and we got all our kids but w spilt. Im a chronic cheat and sex addict... Back to prison 2003-4.
Resume marriage and do well. By now kids are getting aware, believe im raising well behaved kids. Cheating again we move state.
Few years of smooth enough sailing but inevitably we're both unfaithful. My career going well and hers starting. Divorce 2009.
Typical bs, her bf a jerk. From our past even. Few years and i leave to work out of state. Gf with me, long distant style. Ex drops all kids of with me and parties her summer.
38 I panic. Move home to our original state with kids and buy a home. Parents nearby. Ex comes to visit and takes kids back out of state.
So I'm stick here when i have a very strange feeling and start having very ocd like symptom. I believe this is my adult onset adhd.
Gf with me, I'm a cheat and drug user and sex addict. Cannot focus, hoarding and messy.
Ensues a very bad time. Years of inactivity that matched my success. Poor financing ideal has always plaques me. Struggle, gf suffering.
2014. Prison. Lost everything and get out to nothing. Gf with her folks, brought down as well.
2016 i have meltdown, leave gf stranded and get myself arrested on a warrant. 75 days later I'm on one side of this usa and my kids gf job and ex are over there.
All along this timeline I've had more issues with my own depression and panic. Gf an angel, ex was a manipulative but effectively so person.
Today I'm asking what the he'll do i do next?
Im considering a chastity device and exersize but at 44..... Cmon. I have very manic moments and i cannot dwell on losses and regrets. I'm positive for the most part.
Someone tell me something. Does that sound like I'm in the right forum?

ToneTone
10-22-16, 10:47 AM
"I cannot dwell on losses and regrets."

1. What do you want? ... Do you want to have a better relationship with people, with your ex, with your children?

2. What goals do you have for yourself? For job? ...for health? for your emotions wellbeing? You want some clear goals to strive for ... to hold onto as you release the addictive and compulsive behavior.

3. Are you in therapy? ... sounds like you have serious compulsion/addiction issues. Therapy and various support groups. When I was deepest into one of my addictions, I went to therapy twice and week to end the crazy behavior. And I attended multiple recovery group meetings a week ... Time to find an EXCELLENT therapist who you get along with, and who gets you and go from there. You need to build a new coping system. Clearly the one you have now isn't working. So time to build a new one .... almost always we need guidance to do that!

4. You need to visit a psychiatrist as well ... as you may benefit from medication treatment of depression and anxiety and ADHD.

5. Go to a recovery group ... Plenty of groups with slightly different approaches to the issues you present here. Very inspirational to be around people who are working to rebuild their lives and enjoy their lives in the healthiest way.

6. It helps sometimes to focus on things we are proud of ... qualities we are proud of ... this helps if the negative side of our life is so overwhelming that we want to give up or think we can't change.

Basically ... it seems time to start treatment and recovery ... and growth ... Maybe you have already started on those paths, but you don't mention that here.

Good luck.

Tone

finallyfound10
11-02-16, 10:46 PM
I don't have any better advice but I just wanted to say that you are on the right track if you realize the issues that you have and that you need help. Life has become unmanageable for you.

Listen to ToneTone as he has been there. Everything that he said is excellent advice.

Good luck!!

Pilgrim
11-03-16, 04:58 AM
I sort of love the way you mapped all that out.

I recently/ seriously started seeing a therapist/ trick cyclist who specialises in ADD.

To be fair I wasn't really in that head space before this time to be going through this process. Lots of examination of behaviour and thinking.

I've been medicated for a while and I did a lot of self study regarding the condition.

Years ago I only meant well but just seemed to run into brick walls all the time, I realised without effective treatment I was never going to get out of it.

Lost all my self respect and I was going to get it back.

You might be in the right place. Welcome

sarahsweets
11-03-16, 10:02 AM
I was also going to recommend a recovery group. For me its AA but there are lots of other options out there. The substance abuse is usually at the heart of the issues. When you are not making decisions with a clear sober mind, you f**k up your life and only realize it when there are consequences.

dvdnvwls
11-03-16, 01:56 PM
I was also going to recommend a recovery group. For me its AA but there are lots of other options out there. The substance abuse is usually at the heart of the issues. When you are not making decisions with a clear sober mind, you f**k up your life and only realize it when there are consequences.
There are always consequences. Just sometimes it's possible to not see them.