I am a former teacher. I stopped teaching because of the discipline problems and all of the paperwork that I can't handle...not to mention, I was asked to leave! The main reason I took the job was because of the health benefits (I am on medication for depression). I keep taking jobs I'm not good at or don't want, so I can afford medication. But then I get more depressed, and need more medication, etc.

I am interested in library/information science but I am afraid that it will be too detail-oriented for me. It seems like most jobs that are above minimum wage involve lots of attention to detail, multi-tasking and paperwork that I can't keep track of (I was terminated at another [non-teaching] job because I couldn't focus on what to do first...especially with constant interruptions).

Honestly, I don't want a "regular" job (i.e. same thing, same people, same place day after day). But my resume sucks, I need a steady income (medicine, plus a low savings account) and I don't know what else to do. I really don't. Most of the time I'm too depressed to try to figure it out. I would really like to find a job/career that is meaningful to me and that I enjoy, and that pays OK.

I'm moving back home this summer and starting online library courses. Hope it goes OK. Thanks for letting me vent...

Until you figure it out: Look into becoming a contract for hire writer/reviewer/editor for training development firms.
There are lots of opportunities out there to work from home in the environment that suits you best.
Search the usual job boards for contract or temporary work in this area. Talk to some recruiters at different firms that specialize in placement of writers, editors, and subject matter experts. There may even be positions looking for researchers with your skill set.

This way you can apply your teaching experience and creativity to a different medium. Instead of working in a classroom or library you can still put your experience to good use....and might even find a "career" that you can pursue easily.

You might also look into a business coaching students who need help 1-on-1 - this would not be so demanding as having a class full of them.

I'm alarmed by how much I relate to this post. It's disappointing to hear that teaching didn't go well, though, because I've always felt that teaching or training might be a good career choice for me. (I know we're all different and that I shouldn't try to over-generalize form another's experience; it's just one data point.)

To the OP: Do you enjoy just teaching? Not as a job taken with all the paperwork, I mean, but the actual teaching part? If so, I wouldn't give up on it, because the right employer will see your value in that role and get you support for the paperwork. At least I think such employers exist.

What are the "discipline problems" to which you refer? I'm assuming they refer to disciplining students, not self-discipline, and that they're probably most teachers' least-favorite part of the job. Could you ask for training in meeting this requirement more effectively?

It sounds like you've already made an emotional break with teaching, and that's fine, but even so it will be to your benefit to reflect on what you liked about it and what you did well, and then be willing to ask for help in those areas that you need help in. Frankly most employers probably won't be willing to give you that help, but it's worth screening to find one that will.

(I've never actually worked for one of those, so I'm really just speculating from intuition -- or maybe wishful thinking. Still, the more introspection you do now the better-prepared you'll be to interview for your next job.)

Good luck with the library courses!

Hi,

Thanks for your reply and support. I had several problems with teaching:

1. Wasn't fully qualified for the subject area, since my degree was in another area.

2. Taught in a low-income district, which meant I had a higher than average amount of special education kids (both mild and severe), behavioral problems (i.e. confrontational students who were also gang members) and apathetic students (they couldn't care less about school, me, the class, etc; neither could their parents). My 6th period class included a severely retarded student who required constant individual attention and whose aide was almost never there, and several former gang members who were loud and disruptive. I had to call a police officer 4 times during the year to prevent physical confrontation. Out of 22 students, only 6-7 could write coherently.

3. I am not very assertive, so maintaining consistent discipline was difficult for me. Comments like, "This is stupid!", "I hate this class!" etc. really bothered me.

4. I also had a kid start a petition to get me fired my first year there (HE could see I wasn't qualified; the administration couldn't--or didn't care, since my class was a fine art and an elective) and another kid meet with the principal to discuss my "shortcomings."

5. The second year I taught, 4 of the kids from the previous year (including Petition Boy) dropped out of the program because they were unhappy with me. What made it worse was that they were all bright, talented kids that the program badly needed. To this day they won't look at or speak to me (not that it matters, since I finally left).

6. I enjoyed the teaching part, when I had kids that were actually interested in the subject. Unfortunately, I was usually too busy dealing with the slackers and behavior problems to attend to them fully.

7. I was very disorganized, which made things even worse. In fact, in two years, I was not able to manage one class field trip to see a play, which still bothers me. A lot of these kids have never seen a play and maybe never will.

8. There was little help from the administration. My second and last year there the principal began collecting documentation on me as early as October. It was around this time I began to realize I had ADD, but I was too scared and embarassed to tell anyone.

Last week was graduation. I saw some of the 4 students from last year who were now graduating; NONE of them would look at me. The principal walked right past me and said hi to someone standing next to me but completely avoided eye contact with me.

I worked SO hard and had no outside life while I had this job (too depressed). And it still wasn't good enough, not even close. Their reactions really ****ed me off. I kept thinking, "I CAN'T HELP WHAT HAPPENED AND I HAD NO SUPPORT AND I SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN HIRED TO BEGIN WITH!" (the other fine arts teachers have two degrees in their subject areas, + years of experience, but of course I can't go around saying that).

Anyway, on the way home, I began to think that maybe they were right, I am inferior, a bad teacher, not worthy of being acknowledged, etc. Not true, but it FELT true, if you know what I mean.
***
ANYWAY, the fact that you want to be with teenagers in your spare time indicates that you are dedicated enough to at least try teaching; maybe try summer camp first, or volunteer at a school if at all possible.
Best of luck...and sorry about the blurt!

Golly Dramaqueen,

I can relate-finally someone who understands!!! That could have been me, so many things that can overwhelm so quickly, and things like-making copies with the addresses on already to save you time-just don't occur to me until it's too late, and I get so mad at myself, why can't I be like the other women in my family-all of which are teachers and very good ones. I just want to know that I can do it, and I want feedback and other's beliefs in me that I can, and patience, is that too much to ask? And then also, why am I so drawn to it, like a moth to the flame-but when I get in the door someone just slams it in my face-I just want a chance to prove myself too- are you on medications now? Where do you live? I am just glad to know I am not the only one who has struggled with these same issues, I know I am a good teacher it has been ingrained in me since I was very little-but I can't seem to know where to start? Do they hire you after they have to call an old "boss" who won't be so kind about your history? That is what I wonder, thanks for writing. LORI

Thanks for your post. In case you get discouraged, you should know that the medication I was on at the time--and still am--only worked for my depression and not my ADD. So, maybe things could have gone better. :) My doctor gave me a prescription for Ritalin, but unfortunately it expired before I remembered to take it to be filled (oh, the irony), but I think he gave me a voucher. Now, if only I can find it.... :0)

About your former boss...I would use another teacher as a reference instead if at all possible, or even several. It depends on your situation. Good luck with everything....I'm glad I'm not the only one who has ever gone through this!



Best of luck.

Update, if anyone is interested--or even if they're not...:foot:

I started taking the online library courses I mentioned in an earlier post. But I keep avoiding the work. It looks really difficult and detail-oriented and I feel completely overwhelmed. In fact, today I went to the Texas Film Commission website instead, to see if there was any film extra work...I used to act in plays and take acting classes and even wanted to be an actress at one point, but for various reasons ended up teaching (unhappily) instead.

I don't know how much of my anxiety is procrastination vs. a gut feeling....like my gut feeling that I shouldn't teach.

Plus, acting is a notoriously difficult profession. I can't pay my bills on time or find my keys; how could I succeed at something so competitive, challenging and luck-based?


I've had so many cumulative failures and negative feedback at work that I have almost no confidence in myself. And even if I were to get training in theater/acting, about the only thing I could do if I didn't make it professionally--which is very statisically likely-- would be.....teaching.

AAAAAAARGH!

Of course, this may all be moot because right now I feel so blah and depressed that I have to actually remind myself to brush my teeth, wash my face, and not sleep in my clothes. Pathetic. I need a therapist and new meds. If only I would get out of bed and pick up the phone! Like I used to tell my drama students who refused to bring anything to class, "It's not calculus, people!"

thanks for letting me vent......................:faint:

Good luck to you in your endeavors,, I don't know if I spelled that right, but I am right there with you. For me, what draws me to teaching is all of the bright colors you can use to decorate your classroom and all the "teachable" moments you know when a light goes on, but I think personally I would do better with like a tutoring position-one on one, or maybe like a home-bound student, or something like that-I may try to get an aide job, even though I have my special ed degree and my cert. up to date. My mom insists that I go on meds before I attempt any teaching at all-I think I do better to take orders, not give them out, so I am in a muddle as to what to do. I just know balance is the key and right now, I have enough on my plate,

But I hope the acting thing works out for you, and that you find your balance. I think you are on the right track. Good luck. LORI

Dramaqueen, I think most of us here know the angst around anxiety and procrastination or is it procrastination induced anxiety?

Anyway, I have found that if I pick one thing for each day that I think would normally be the hardest thing to get done that day and DO IT FIRST then if I do nothing else the rest of the day I've accomplished something HUGE.

The great thing about this is that just the action of picking that one thing gets me motivated to do something to move me forward. When I accomplish it that motivates me even more. In fact some days I'll get so motivated that I accomplish a few days worth of "hard" tasks in a single day.
That way it balances out I don't worry too much about the days when it seems like I'm backsliding.
The key is to pick something and do it.
That is where the motivation comes from.
If you pick the wrong thing....try something else.
If that doesn't work....try something else....
if that doesn't work....try something else... just DOING something to move forward helps get you in gear and sooner or later you hit the mark. And along the way you'll learn so many skills that you will just end up with more options later if you ever get bored with what you are doing. :D

Yes fighting boredom,

I agree, one little thing but make sure you give yourself plenty of "atagirls" when you get it done, and pick something very small to start, that you can build on, for me it is one load of laundry and then "yeah I did it" way to go! L

I am newbie one 3 or 4 days in forum. I was referred to your May post from another one. You and I have similar backgrounds. I have haulted by my "resume". I am curious if anything has changed.

It is rough once you are locked in the syndrome...need job to get ins..need ins...to get dr. appt..need dr. appt... to get meds..no ins..no meds.. no jobs.. losts of errors..end of job..update resume...new job search....long gaps..finally find jobs..supr/mgr introduces you as "fabulous"..everyone hates you..u're not fab..everyone and supr.. hates you..no ins yet...no more job...story of my life.

I try and ...FOCUS ON THE SOLUTION AND NOT THE PROBLEM; whenever possible.

One of the things that helped me the most was aptitude testing.

Finding your niche is critical to working in an area where you have natural talent or aptitude.

It increases the likelihood for success.

Good luck to you and remain positive.:)

"31 and still no career"....how about 36 and no career!

35 and no career! It is 9:30am, just woke up, crawled up to get coffee...sat at the computer to look for a job (while wife is gone to her high-paying job). So I sit down, turn the TV on, read (sorta of) my emails, look into my bookmarks to find my job websites and end up here...n-e-e-d t-o f-i-n-d j-o-b!!

My resume sucks (mostly retail jobs, which I hate), want a career change...
something I can be proud of...I started going to Real Estate School, but stopped going...'cause I realized its sales (duh) and I started sweating, worring, got nervous just thinking about it.

My wife thinks I spend all day looking for a job...if she only knew, I watch TV, spend time on the internet just surfing the net, going to the gym, making my self lunch, go into monster.com, go thru 2 or 3 pages and then jump to ebay, addforums, etc...you get the picture.

Mostly...I have no idea, not a clue what I want to do with my life and dont want to get a dead-end job I know I wont last more than a few months.

Just started reading a book called "what color is your parachute", my therapist recommended it. The book is for helping to find a dream job. If yu have never heard of this book...maybe this is a good book to start with.

I apologize I kinda went on and on. good luck with your endeavors.

I started out teaching in a situation similar to public school teaching. And it was really difficult--lots of rules, students not motivated, same students everyday, having to enforce rules--not a good environment. Then years later I did some teaching at a community college. It was really different--not perfect, but you have several different classes that you meet with two or three times a week, so you have more variety. And you don't see the department heads very often--we only had two or three meetings per semester. We were on our own to develop our lesson plans etc.
In some ways, when you start out, it's difficult because of being on your own, but it lets you be creative and solve problems while if you need you can find help from the people in your department if you hang out around them. And everyone was busy and had other things to do than breathing down your neck. It was part-time so no benefits, but the pay was decent, and there was the possibility of going full-time if you are qualified and interested. At the time I didn't know I was ADD but I really did enjoy the variety and independence. The students are paying to be there and are there by their own choice, so they generally do want to learn, although they may be working full time and have families, so there are problems to deal with, and it's sometimes frustrating because of that. Which gives you something to try to solve, which isn't so bad. So anyone who has any teaching experience might try this. And so many students these days are so poorly prepared for college, a lot of the classes are actually at high school level, college prep, so you don't need to have an advanced degree.

Not a perfect job, but it has possibilities.

I'm smack dab in the middle of this dilemna too. In fact, I've been on medical leave for a week because I had some kind of meltdown at work...I was paralyzed, and couldn't get it together enough to work.

I've been unhappy (aww, freakin' MISERABLE describes it better) in my career for years, but kept slogging through. My income went down and down, my positions did the same; I couldn't understand what was happening, and I know I tended to blame it on a lot of externals, specific to each job. It's taken me awhile to realize....

Well, anyway, I found a career counselor who knows about ADD (turns out, not as much as I thought). I realized that what I've perceived as career 'failures' have left me feeling pretty negative about having any marketable skills, and the certainty that I would probably hate any job I found anyway.

That 'failure' issue has pretty much paralyzed me; I'd look at job listings and find myself either lacking in skills for them, or nauseous at the thought of doing them.

I'm starting from scratch; I've found I need a job where there is opportunity for creativity. Not like in art or music...but maybe creative problem solving. I also need variety....lots of it.

The only reason I mention this is that I think that it might be helpful for us to work with a career coach or counselor, or someone who can help identify strengths and weaknesses....and interests....and help us realize that we don't suck at everything.

There may be aspects of your job that you love and can focus on in finding a new job or career. However, it is tough to do this on your own, I think. Especially coming from a place where you are feeling bad about yourself and your abilities.

This is an interesting discussion.....keep it moving!

i am miserable where I work
it is a temp job, and brings in
alittle money which is important.
my wife makes most of the money
but I still need to contribute.
I have finally discovered what I really
want to do in life. It will take a year to
get going, while I am temping-
I have been developing a plan
and have gotten it moving along
which is very exciting.
I still have to temp during the
day however. the job is easy and
the folks are great, but I just
get into these funks where I just
can't get myself to the job.
I am almost 28 and can relate to the
frustration many of us ADD career-seekers
go through. wish I had an EASY button like at staples;)

"It is 9:30am, just woke up, crawled up to get coffee...sat at the computer to look for a job (while wife is gone to her high-paying job). So I sit down, turn the TV on, read (sorta of) my emails, look into my bookmarks to find my job websites and end up here...n-e-e-d t-o f-i-n-d j-o-b!!

My resume sucks (mostly retail jobs, which I hate), want a career change...
something I can be proud of...I started going to Real Estate School, but stopped going...'cause I realized its sales (duh) and I started sweating, worring, got nervous just thinking about it.

My wife thinks I spend all day looking for a job...if she only knew, I watch TV, spend time on the internet just surfing the net, going to the gym, making my self lunch, go into monster.com, go thru 2 or 3 pages and then jump to ebay, addforums, etc...you get the picture."

holy $hit, whatsmylife that describe me perfectly when I was looking for work!! man, when you have ADD and look for a job, its SUPER hard..think of all the things you can do, BUT look for a job...oh boy