View Full Version : Should I get 504 or IEP?


Exhaustedmom
10-29-16, 09:09 AM
Hello,

My son is in 7th grade, diagnosis ADHD and depression/anxiety. He is currently on Concerta 54mg in the morning and Ritalin 20mg at noon. He insists it helps him focus (we've tried many others which failed for various reasons) but it's not doing much for his behavior. He's still disruptive, and the biggest thing is that he cannot handle any kind of criticism or rejection at all. If a kid teases him, even playfully and not mean spirited, he rages to the point of getting suspended.

The school is actually great though, they want to help him but don't know how. They are already doing the redirections, they let him go to a different class when he gets upset, I can't think of anything else they can do to help him.

He has already been on out of school suspension 7 days this school year. Due to that, to give him more protection, the asst principal suggested getting him a 504. Can anyone give me advice regarding 504 versus IEP?

I realize that an IEP gives more protection, but my concern is that I need something in place ASAP, before he gets thrown out. He just started therapy for anger management, but that will take a while to help him. I fear that he'll be thrown out before an IEP is eve in place. I am torn.

I need advice from anyone who has their child on either the 504 or IEP and if it helps?

Thank you!

Jeftheginger
10-29-16, 10:50 AM
I do not know much about the IEP or the 504 but I do know concerta. It does not help unless you allow it to help. For example. Concerta works perfectly well for me, but this year I got 4 detentions in the first 3days of school, not because concerta does not work but because I was totally board and hated my teachers.
Maybe he or she does not want to learn, or he might be bullied.

ToneTone
10-29-16, 12:35 PM
Two points:

1. Have you told your prescribing doctor about the rages? The doctor needs to know and even needs to hear your anguish over this.

2. Time to get him to a therapist who can help him get in touch with what he's feeling and where that's coming from and then help him develop some practices to handle the rages .... One, there could be something going on out of view that is causing the rage ... or two, he might just have a tendency towards rage ... Either way, a really good therapist could be of enormous help.

My strong preference is to say do NOT rely on medication alone ... Medication + therapy can be an amazing combination .... The trick will be to find someone he really likes that you also like ... and then there might even be a way you can work with him on being so defensive ... But get pro help ... No need to struggle with this on your own. Go to a professional who can see the patterns and explore more deeply. And I'm talking weekly meetings so he gets a chance to retrain his brain, and go over how he reacted in previous week and connect his rage to what he was feeling at the time, etc ...

Good luck.

Tone

dvdnvwls
10-29-16, 02:02 PM
Rage can happen for a lot of different reasons. Sometimes several reasons at once, unfortunately.

Don't discount the possibility that it could be legitimate rage, something that anyone in his situation would be feeling. Maybe there are things going on that not everyone knows.

There's also the possibility of normal anger being grossly magnified by an inappropriate dosage of medication.

Built-up frustration over a long period of time in the past can cause rage that looks nonsensical to everyone else ("What's wrong? I thought things were going well for you now!") - but pain from the past can often invade the present for the raging person.

And the possibility of a psychological disorder separate from ADHD causing rage.

Or any combination of the above, or something I've forgotten to say.

A personal note: It can be unbelievably hard to constantly know what you need to do and constantly be unable to do it. It hurts. It hurts worse when everyone is watching. And... it hurts to be a 7th grader at the best of times, let alone being a 7th grader with the emotions of a 5th grader.

Exhaustedmom
10-29-16, 03:51 PM
Thank you all! I agree with all of you. Regarding the teachers, he is actually really good for one of his teachers, he would have never guessed that my son had ADHD or any issues. He's perfectly behaved and focused. Other teachers he's so-so for, one teacher he can't stand and he's worst for her. And then the other students, he does get teased a lot, for all kinds of things, so I understand his anger.

I did tell his psychiatrist about the rages the first time we saw him and he wanted to put him on a mood stabilizer and those have some scary side effects, I'm not ready for that. I forgot to mention he is already on Zoloft and that has helped tremendously...yes, crazy to say that as angry as he gets now, before Zoloft he was so much worse.

He is indeed seeing a therapist already for the anger. The medication is handled by a psychiatrist and for the therapy he is seeing a psychologist. She is great and we both clicked with her. She has weekly CBT scheduled for him, but he's only had one session so far which was mainly the "getting to know you" session. Which is where she discovered that he is being smacked around and teased on the bus and told me to address it. I did, he is sitting far away from them now (in the front of the bus) and he says the bus is fine now. But she too diagnosed him the same - ADHD and depression/anxiety, from years of being undiagnosed. He was just diagnosed in 6th grade.

I am doing everything I can to help him, he is great for me at home now that I know how to speak to him, I bought him a book about social skills, he will get the therapy now, there isn't anything else I can do to help him that I know of. I just need time really. Time for the therapy to change his way of thinking and reacting. And during this time, I'm afraid he'll get kicked out and I don't know what he needs and what will protect him best (as far as 504 or IEP)

dvdnvwls
10-29-16, 05:19 PM
What's wrong with those teachers, from his point of view?

ginniebean
10-29-16, 06:07 PM
Given he has behaviour issues he qualifies for an iep. An iep is likely something the school will try and talk you out of because there is more accountability (and paperwork) There is a legal limit to the amount of suspension a disabled child can be given.

http://www.greatschools.org/gk/articles/idea-2004-close-up-disciplining-students-with-disabilities/

There is so much to understand when it comes to iep and 504 you need to really spend time studying. Wrights law is a good place to start

Exhaustedmom
10-29-16, 06:47 PM
Given he has behaviour issues he qualifies for an iep. An iep is likely something the school will try and talk you out of because there is more accountability (and paperwork) There is a legal limit to the amount of suspension a disabled child can be given.

http://www.greatschools.org/gk/articles/idea-2004-close-up-disciplining-students-with-disabilities/

There is so much to understand when it comes to iep and 504 you need to really spend time studying. Wrights law is a good place to start

I sensed the same about the IEP when I mentioned it earlier in the year. Thank you for the link, I will read it because I wouldn't even know what specifically to request with an IEP as far as modifications.

Exhaustedmom
10-29-16, 07:11 PM
What's wrong with those teachers, from his point of view?

He says they're mean or rude. When I meet with them, I definitely sense more distance and a bit colder attitude but not downright mean. He also seems to click better with male teachers. The few male teachers he's had, they were always the more fun, upbeat teachers, who just knew how to talk to him. One he misses dearly from his last school would give him nicknames (he was much younger then), like admiral or colonel, he would move him up and down a rank as needed, but always in a cheerful way. His favorite teacher right now is similar, he's young and very upbeat and can redirect him by just giving him the "come on, really" look. The ones he is so-so for, they try to just ignore most of his distractions and pull him aside when he gets to be too much. The one he hates, he says she just has no personality and boring as heck and accuses him all the time.

The thing is, he will encounter different personalities all his life so he needs to learn how to work with that somehow. Sigh.

dvdnvwls
10-29-16, 10:04 PM
The thing is, he will encounter different personalities all his life so he needs to learn how to work with that somehow. Sigh.
I can probably make him a copy of my "Avoid At All Costs Forever" list, if it will save him any time or trouble. :o:)

Exhaustedmom
10-29-16, 10:41 PM
I can probably make him a copy of my "Avoid At All Costs Forever" list, if it will save him any time or trouble. :o:)

Hahaha...now I wonder if he has such a list too :lol: