View Full Version : making people upset and frustrated with me


fosterthehuman
10-31-16, 08:51 PM
my mom and bf have told me before that i'm being lazy, theve gotten upset at me for forgetting stuff, or running late in the past. there were times where because i was running late that i made other people late. when this happened, it turned into arguments with my mom, being told that i need to prioritize my time better (before we knew i had add) itms led to arguments with my bf, he's called me stupid before cause of it, he's told me that it doesn't matter that i have add, this isn't acceptable. cause there's been times when he wanted to go hangout somewhere like the mall or the park and i ended up taking really long (like 3 hours) and he got upset and yelled at me and changed his mind about goinf cause i took so long. he can be understanding about it sometimes, he tries to help.

when i was in high school, on oe of the first days of school, i was running late (i knew nothing about time management) and my step sister ended up leaving without me cause i took so long, when i caught up to her at the bus stop, i think i tried to say something to her, and she started yelling at me, i can't remember but i'm pretty sure it was about me taking so long. and she was talking about how she's already having a lot of stress right now. it was really humiliating for me.

another time, i was supposed to meet my step sisters at the near by concession stand after this football game, but i got distracted and ended up walking with this girl across the street to an after party. and as soon as I remembered, i ran to the place, but i mixed up the concession stand with the nearby liquor store. so i was waiting there (at the time i think they didn't have phones or something or i wasn't able to get a hold of them, cause i tried calling their friend asking where they were) then i thought that maybe i mixed up the place, but that took me a while, i ended up walking to the concession stand but they weren't thwre by then. then i found them at the after party and one of them started yelling at me, and the other one told her to calm down, and they were like, you need to learn to be more responsible (random people from the party were looking at me) they have said this type of stuff happened before and i wasn't even aware i was doing this stuff, again i wasn't diagnosed at the time. and when we all got home, i tried yelling back at them and i was about to tell them that i mixed up the place and i tried contacting them but i didn't get to, i remember my mom telling me to be quiet and just cried in my room while my step sisters at the time continued talking to each other. nothing was ever said after that.

similar incidents still happen where i can tell people are annoyed with me cause of it. i should probably be over all of this stuff, but i can't seem too, i get afraid that it's gonna happen again. it makes me feel stupid. i've been to an add support group before and they talked about how you shouldn't feel stupid when these things happen, and just try to work on these things. i was trying to think this way at first, and not get upset when i made a mistake or forgot something. but it's really hard, i don't want to upset anyone else. idk if these situations have happened to other people.

i don't think i'm normal alot of the times cause of this. it's caused me a great deal of shame and anger due to having add, or not being diagnosed sooner. but aslo, i feel like maybe i'm just lazy or something, or maybe i have something else wrong with me, and it's not add. i know i need to be told just to keep working on stuff, that it'll get better, i'm just really tired of it. i'm starting to blame myself for all these mistakes, cause maybe if i would have gotten diagnosed sooner i would never have messed up in the first place.

i should have studied harder in school knowing how long it took me, then maybe my classmates wouldn't have laughed at me when i took super long to take tests. and just stuff like that, i should have pushed myself harder, i shoulf have been harder on myself, maybe i'm lazy and that's why people get so mad at me. sorry i'm just venting now

ginniebean
10-31-16, 08:57 PM
my mom and bf have told me before that i'm being lazy, theve gotten upset at me for forgetting stuff, or running late in the past. there were times where because i was running late that i made other people late.


when this happened, it turned into arguments with my mom, being told that i need to prioritize my time better (before we knew i had add) itms led to arguments with my bf, he's called me stupid before cause of it, he's told me that it doesn't matter that i have add, this isn't acceptable. cause there's been times when he wanted to go hangout somewhere like the mall or the park and i ended up taking really long (like 3 hours) and he got upset and yelled at me and changed his mind about goinf cause i took so long.


he can be understanding about it sometimes, he tries to help. when i was in high school, on oe of the first days of school, i was running late (i knew nothing about time management) and my step sister ended up leaving without me cause i took so long, when i caught up to her at the bus stop, i think i tried to say something to her, and she started yelling at me, i can't remember but i'm pretty sure it was about me taking so long.



and she was talking about how she's already having a lot of stress right now. it was really humiliating for me. another time, i was supposed to meet my step sisters at the near by concession stand after this football game, but i got distracted and ended up walking with this girl across the street to an after party. and as soon as I remembered, i ran to the place, but i mixed up the concession stand with the nearby liquor store.


so i was waiting there (at the time i think they didn't have phones or something or i wasn't able to get a hold of them, cause i tried calling their friend asking where they were) then i thought that maybe i mixed up the place, but that took me a while, i ended up walking to the concession stand but they weren't thwre by then.


then i found them at the after party and one of them started yelling at me, and the other one told her to calm down, and they were like, you need to learn to be more responsible (random people from the party were looking at me) they have said this type of stuff happened before and i wasn't even aware i was doing this stuff, again i wasn't diagnosed at the time.



and when we all got home, i tried yelling back at them and i was about to tell them that i mixed up the place and i tried contacting them but i didn't get to, i remember my mom telling me to be quiet and just cried in my room while my step sisters at the time continued talking to each other. nothing was ever said after that. similar incidents still happen where i can tell people are annoyed with me cause of it.


i should probably be over all of this stuff, but i can't seem too, i get afraid that it's gonna happen again. it makes me feel stupid. i've been to an add support group before and they talked about how you shouldn't feel stupid when these things happen, and just try to work on these things. i was trying to think this way at first, and not get upset when i made a mistake or forgot something. but it's really hard, i don't want to upset anyone else.


idk if these situations have happened to other people. i don't think i'm normal alot of the times cause of this. it's caused me a great deal of shame and anger due to having add, or not being diagnosed sooner. but aslo, i feel like maybe i'm just lazy or something, or maybe i have something else wrong with me, and it's not add.


i know i need to be told just to keep working on stuff, that it'll get better, i'm just really tired of it. i'm starting to blame myself for all these mistakes, cause maybe if i would have gotten diagnosed sooner i would never have messed up in the first place.


i should have studied harder in school knowing how long it took me, then maybe my classmates wouldn't have laughed at m. e when i took super long to take tests. and just stuff like that, i should have pushed myself harder, i shoulf have been harder on myself, maybe i'm lazy and that's why people get so mad at me. sorry i'm just venting now

a lot of people with adhd can't read a wall of text. I broke it up for you. please put in paragraph breaks.. Even randomly as i have .

ginniebean
10-31-16, 08:58 PM
Quit blaming yourself for everything. Adhd is a legitimate disability.

fosterthehuman
10-31-16, 09:03 PM
a lot of people with adhd can't read a wall of text. I broke it up for you. please put in paragraph breaks.. Even randomly as i have .

sorry, i do tht when i rant, i apoligize if it's difficult to read

Little Missy
10-31-16, 09:09 PM
sorry, i do tht when i rant, i apoligize if it's difficult to read

I'm sorry that you are feeling so frustrated. Tomorrow is a whole new day. :)

fosterthehuman
10-31-16, 09:11 PM
I just feel like this doesn't happen to other people with adhd.

Little Missy
10-31-16, 09:19 PM
I just feel like this doesn't happen to other people with adhd.

It sure happens to me!

ginniebean
10-31-16, 09:26 PM
sorry, i do tht when i rant, i apoligize if it's difficult to read

No apologies.. You couldn't have known lol

ginniebean
10-31-16, 09:26 PM
Oh and all that stuff has happened to me. A lot

fosterthehuman
10-31-16, 09:26 PM
could i ask how you deal when people or someone seems angry or is angry with you in situations likr this? maybe my social anxiety gets in the way and i become really sensitive to what people to say to

Little Missy
10-31-16, 09:39 PM
could i ask how you deal when people or someone seems angry or is angry with you in situations likr this? maybe my social anxiety gets in the way and i become really sensitive to what people to say to

Same thing happens to me also. I am extremely sensitive. I have realized that I am not in the happiness business and I stay away from those people so that they can never hurt me again.

There is a great big world out there of nice people to find. I no longer have time for those who are not nice to me.

anonymouslyadd
10-31-16, 09:47 PM
sorry, i do tht when i rant, i apoligize if it's difficult to read
You can rant but if you want to be heard and understood, it's best to take extra time to organize your thoughts. :)

anonymouslyadd
10-31-16, 09:49 PM
could i ask how you deal when people or someone seems angry or is angry with you in situations likr this? maybe my social anxiety gets in the way and i become really sensitive to what people to say to
You're far from alone on this issue. I have a hard time with this.

anonymouslyadd
10-31-16, 09:50 PM
I just feel like this doesn't happen to other people with adhd.
It does.

fosterthehuman
10-31-16, 10:11 PM
Same thing happens to me also. I am extremely sensitive. I have realized that I am not in the happiness business and I stay away from those people so that they can never hurt me again.

There is a great big world out there of nice people to find. I no longer have time for those who are not nice to me.

wait i'm confused, should i stay away from the people that i just brought up in the thread? I apoligize again if i'm reading into what you say incorrectly.

a lot of the people i brought up in the thread didn't know i had adhd or didn't really know what adhd was, or at the time when i was around them, i didn't even know i had adhd. so i'm not sure if some of the people who have gotten angry with me just don't understand, and maybe i should give them a chance? like at first, my mom would always call me lazy, yell cause i got bad grades, and just be frustrated but since we've talked and i've gotten diagnosed, and through things, she's come to understand and has been supportive for me.

fosterthehuman
10-31-16, 10:17 PM
You can rant but if you want to be heard and understood, it's best to take extra time to organize your thoughts. :)

i swear i used ti try to do that, i've just been not really caring recently. idk if it's cause i've been really depressed or not. i just hope you guys aren't annoyed by it, i didn't even think people would want to read this

anonymouslyadd
10-31-16, 11:10 PM
i swear i used ti try to do that, i've just been not really caring recently. idk if it's cause i've been really depressed or not. i just hope you guys aren't annoyed by it, i didn't even think people would want to read this
People want to help you. The people here are incredibly compassionate.

You can always use the blog feature on here to post your thoughts or when you just want to get something out of your head. It's in your best interests to keep paragraphs smaller. You'll have more people read them and responding, which is ultimately what you want, right?

Simargl
10-31-16, 11:28 PM
I just feel like this doesn't happen to other people with adhd.

Oh. Yeah. No. I've dealt with similar situations.

Jeftheginger
11-01-16, 01:39 AM
You can rant but if you want to be heard and understood, it's best to take extra time to organize your thoughts. :)

Wait let me refrase that so that no one can understand it...
You can rant however to really be heard you must listen. Listen until there is an silence of understanding. Then your voice will echo whith the music of emotion and love. Or hate your choice.





Wow I tried to some cool and it kind of worked