View Full Version : What do you make of someone who is oversensitive of insults?


Kazunaj
11-08-16, 08:41 AM
It's my 18 y/o lil brother. I think he has some sort of mental disorder. He is diagnosed with depression and anxiety. To me, it seems he has ADHD also. I think it runs in the family, certain of us including me has some sort of restlessness, absent mindedness, shy and reserved, and other common symptoms of ADHD, but only milder. My brother's friends thinks he's a mental freak, he has a very low self esteem, he talks in a mean voice, sometimes he jumps out of the blue, talk alone, laugh alone, punch things like chairs/walls out of nowhere and laugh afterwards.

But the thing I'm most worried and annoyed about is how he is overly crazily oversensitive of insults someone makes to him. When someone insults him (sometimes I think it's more of a joke rather than insult) he would not stop think of it for years, maybe more than 2 years, almost everyday he talks about it with my mum. about how he wants revenge and he kept having headache abt it when that person already achieved so much in life, while my brother kept thinking abt them for years and failed so much in life. Sometimes My mum keeps complaining she's so tired of all the **** sometimes she just told him to shut up but he keeps going on and on. Meds are not working for him, how can I help my brother? Advice and counselling doesn't work as well.

sarahsweets
11-08-16, 09:17 AM
Well who wouldn't be sensitive to insults? It does sound from what you describe, that he has something going on that's more than being overly sensitive but if that's the case he shouldn't be blamed for it. He obviously needs help but I don't know how much help you and your mom can give him. What was it about therapy that didn't help?

Kazunaj
11-08-16, 10:27 AM
Well who wouldn't be sensitive to insults? It does sound from what you describe, that he has something going on that's more than being overly sensitive but if that's the case he shouldn't be blamed for it. He obviously needs help but I don't know how much help you and your mom can give him. What was it about therapy that didn't help?

Thanks for replying. He's most attached to my mom so all the time my mom keeps advising him. Us siblings are not very close to him since he can be mean to us, but we didn't forget to advise and encourage him sometimes, we take him places, go to shopping, treat him to restaurants. All of those and therapy did made him recover a bit but only for a short while until he continues his old habit. Since I go through a more/less similar problem, I can't help him very much because I can't even help myself. The difference between me and my bro is I didn't tell anyone about my problems, I contained all of it to myself and try to develop some coping mechanisms. It was really tough times for me. I think my mom and my family did many things for him, I think he's really fortunate to get that much attention from my mom, she takes him to psychiatrist, counselling, etc. Years ago, I told her that I can't study then she threw a shoe at my face. He said he can't stop thinking abt it, the image just won't go away. Can't he help himself like I did?

anonymouslyadd
11-08-16, 10:47 AM
Was he ever taught how to handle insults? I don't think I was and I'm still learning how to handle criticism.

Kazunaj
11-08-16, 11:12 AM
Was he ever taught how to handle insults? I don't think I was and I'm still learning how to handle criticism.
Definitely he had been taught so. But I know it's not easy, it's not like you'll be a pro when you have all the tips, and myself struggle very much. After all the tips and advice people gave him, I wonder why he's still like that, I wonder if he's not trying at all? I think it's much more worse for me than for him. I got insults from my sister in my own home almost all the time when I was much younger. Oh boy did I suffer. I didn't know why she especially hated me so much, it's why I became so self-conscious. She even tried to kill me. But one day I decided to ignore her, and develops many many coping mechanisms by trial and error. I'm still very offended by criticisms even now but if I don't go around complaining about it, then I guess I'll be fine days later.

sarahsweets
11-08-16, 11:53 AM
but we didn't forget to advise and encourage him sometimes, we take him places, go to shopping, treat him to restaurants.
The only way to avoid his behavior and not let it affect you or your siblings is to stop doing these types of things with/for him.

The difference between me and my bro is I didn't tell anyone about my problems, I contained all of it to myself and try to develop some coping mechanisms. It was really tough times for me. I think my mom and my family did many things for him, I think he's really fortunate to get that much attention from my mom, she takes him to psychiatrist, counselling, etc.
I dont know how healthy it is to keep all that inside. What about you getting therapy now?

Years ago, I told her that I can't study then she threw a shoe at my face. He said he can't stop thinking abt it, the image just won't go away. Can't he help himself like I did?

Obviously he cant or doesnt want to "help" himself and why should he if his family is willing to accept unacceptable behaviors.
No matter what his issues and reasons are, if you continue to do things they way you always have he will have no reason to changer- and with change comes growth.

dvdnvwls
11-08-16, 11:54 AM
Is there something you can think of that happened long ago that might have made your brother this way?

ginniebean
11-08-16, 05:27 PM
his talking to himself, being jumpy and punching/ragey behaviour, laughing to himself could signify something. Other than adhd. Psychosis needs to be ruled out. Adhd shates symptoms with other conditions. he does need help, consider talking to your parent aboit getting him to a good psychiatrist.

Snottie
11-09-16, 07:17 PM
Your story is so close to my heart because I had an aunt on my dad's side and a brother just younger than me that was very much like your brother. If it is not depression and anxiety then your sweet sick brother needs help from a professional to rule out psychosis as another reply stated.

Bluechoo
11-10-16, 10:15 AM
It sounds like you and your family weren't given the most positive circumstances to grow up in; I hope you all have found some respite in adult life.

Did he ever have a masculine figure to look up to when growing up? It sounds like this role might have been lacking in your family, as you yourself had to learn tricks and coping mechanisms to deal with your older sister. A masculine presence, in this situation, would have benefited you and anyone else who was a victim of bullying by showing, rather than telling you, how to respond to bullying (which often involves not responding in a cool way that deflates your oppressors). I suppose it does not necessarily have to be 'masculine', so I hope I have not offended anyone with my ignorant gender-speech, but I definitely learned this from my father...

Perhaps the right psychiatrist can really help him out... Probably a youngish father-type would know exactly how to handle him with care and enough tough love to slowly acclimate him to the real-world: which is filled with spikes, sharp edges, and plenty of opportunities for us adults to learn about all the pain in the world only by experiencing it...

Nelson1967
02-23-17, 08:19 PM
That's is me for me anxiety and depression in me is from Hoshimotos low thyroid