View Full Version : Starting With This


SkipingLifeWhy
11-10-16, 03:40 PM
I'm a 225lb 33 year old Caucasian Male with an MBA from a highly respected school and my adderall abuse is currently trending around 300mg/day normal tablets. At this rate I am running through 100 pill Rx in 10 days and spending the next 20 days feeling paralyzed, lost, and eagerly waiting for the next full. For awhile I was decently functioning at work until Gambling snuck its way into the equation and I was going to the corporate office sometimes not sleeping for 3 days..But didn't bother me much...What caught up to me was loosing my car to the gambling, using girlfriends credit card for the casino, bad check writing, the pawning of ever piece of metal and jewelry my great family left for me..and much much more...It was around the period when I started begging the bus driver for free rides despite making over 100k annually that all my work relationships began collapsing....The layers to my story run very deep and too long for this post but today adderall doesn't get me moving, doesn't help me lose weight, and doesn't result in productivity like it once did. Today 300mg/day makes me smile and feel happy for a few hours every day...That's truly all I want.

So why am I writing this...I'm looking for some medical journals and studies related to the effect of heavy adderall abuse on the brain. I am beginning to experience a lot of memory loss, loosing my ability to speak clearly and completely, and experiencing foggy brain spells that I often stop sentences for 4-6 seconds before I'm able to complete them. At this point I'm mostly interested in learning about real data in real studies on the brain...Nervous system is studies are next.

I always say I want help with my addiction..until the refill is up..It has helped me in certain ways but I now feel like I'm slowly dying and I sadly seem to be okay with it. I don't know what my future holds but I'd like to start figuring out where I stand medically, can I reverse any damage, how quickly can I reverse the damage, and What additional damage to the brain can occur at higher and higher amounts, and most importantly Can I feel as happy off adderall as I feel on it - scientifically speaking with neurotransmitter releases. Any sources to such studies would be extremely appreciated.

Thank you everyone.

dvdnvwls
11-10-16, 04:19 PM
First thing is no more refills.

Withdrawal is not a health or safety issue here. You just stop. Sure it feels bad, but nothing bad happens except you feel like s***.

Looking for research is nothing but a stalling tactic. No more refills.

Pilgrim
11-16-16, 05:13 AM
First thing is no more refills.

Withdrawal is not a health or safety issue here. You just stop. Sure it feels bad, but nothing bad happens except you feel like s***.

Looking for research is nothing but a stalling tactic. No more refills.

I agree, you got to dry out.

And your not sleeping. How? Therapy can be the missing part also.

sarahsweets
11-16-16, 06:59 AM
I'm going to be blunt and I am speaking as an alcoholic with tons of outreach work in the addiction community in my state.... You are an addict in every sense of the word. If its not food, its adderall, if not adderall, gambling..maybe not hard drugs sex or alcohol- yet. Always remember-YET. The only way to not be an addict is to stop doing and using the substances and things that fuel your addiction. Not everyone needs inpatient care and under most circumstances with stimulant abuse I wouldnt push for it, but you are poly-addicted and I believe intensive outpatient or even a 30 day inpatient could help you break that cycle- at least in the short term. The real work of course would be maintaining that with positive, healthy action. I am not saying you are a lost cause- I am not saying you can never get treated for your adhd again but adderall cant be the choice and its your behavior now thats the problem.

I am an alcoholic- I have been fortunate enough to never have had an issue with any type od stimulants or pain meds- but I got too comfortable with xanax and had to stop taking that 2 years ago- not because I was addicted physically, but because I could see the same exact patterns of behavior that I had with alcohol. I have been taking stimulants for over 15 years but then minute it goes from theraputic to recreation- I would be out. Thank god it hasnt been that way.

Some people say once and addict-always an addict and I am not saying that. But you listed three problem addictions with real world consequences that you dont like.