View Full Version : I have my first appointment with a psychiatrist tomorrow


saladin9256
11-20-16, 01:44 PM
Hi i'm new to this forum and i wanted to talk about myself and ask some questions. I'm 24 years old turning 25 early next year. I'm graduating from university in jan with a 2:1 degree in business and management. I enrolled in 2011 and took two gap years in 2013 and resumed my course in 2015-2016. I cant begin to describe what life was like since 2011 up until now but after doing research for many years I now think I have add and depression with a symptom of derealisation. What made me believe that I have add now is that, as a kid my mum told me that I was hyperactive in class, and more often than not, my teacher would put me on her lap to stop me from running around the class. She also told me that i was taken to a hospital and the doctors put me in a room and basically monitored me? I think this is how they diagnose whether a child is autistic or not, I dont know, but i was 5-6 years old at the time. This hyperactivity continued up until i was 11. I noticed from this age onwards, that I've become less hyper and school had become difficult in the sense that i wouldn't finish my class works or homework and as my teachers would say in almost every parents evening, I was a nice kid but easily distracted.

I would force myself to sit down and study multiple times, but the focus was never there and with each attempt, my head would feel like its closing in on itself.

In 2011 when i first enrolled in Uni, the first few weeks were fine. I felt what i now know as anxiety, in every group meetings, presentation and just attending seminars. This anxiety quickly grew on me, and i didn't know what it was at the time. Without going into too much detail, i attended university less frequently, and most days getting out of bed was difficult. I couldn't get anything done no matter how much i tried. I even ordered a textbook that was delivered to my local post office collection service, and day after day i would tell myself to pick it up, but without sounding too cliche, i was extremely depressed and couldn't do it. :(

When it came to assignments, i would try to prepare weeks before the deadline. Each time i sat down and tried to get something done, this strange brain fog feeling, along with anxiety would kick in. I would try to shake it off and attempt to read the assignment brief, for some reason i couldn't make sense of what i was reading, i would repeat each line in my head but it wouldn't register with my brain. The more i tried, my head would feel extremely heavy, brain fog/ confusion/ dizziness feeling would come over me. At the same time my neck, shoulders would get tensed and i would feel really uncomfortable. I still feel this way, even as i'm typing this. I don't feel focused at all in anything i do, whether if it was studying or talking to people. :(

My interaction with other people is extremely difficult also. Whenever I leave the house, society doesn't seem real to me. I feel slow and dumb when inside I know that i'm not. Whenever i'm communicating with someone, i continue talking like everything is fine, but i'm not putting any concentration or focus into it, and i'm just hoping that i make sense, i rely on this fake personality that i put across and just agree with people in whatever they say and in my head there is no focus i honestly feel like a zombie when all i want is to focus and have a nice conversation with people and be myself. Also these symptoms that i'm describing can be noticed in my face, my friend, back in secondary school and college would notice this confusion look in my face when i'm trying to laugh and be apart of our groups conversation, It feels like my face is numb and i cant express emotions naturally, its a terrible feeling.

Now I'm 24, with nothing to show for except a degree which I don't know what I can do with in my current state. Financially, i was able to work at my uncle's internet cafe as well as my dads office which requires little customer interaction, the work is repetitive so these symptoms that i'm always experiencing don't really interfere with the work. But it's come to a point now where waking up in the morning, my head feels kind of numb, and without exaggerating, it feels like that strange feeling you get when you bump your head, like a weird numbing sensation. I feel extremely depressed ever since my last exam in university which was August, i noticed after being done with uni finally, the anxiety left and I noticed these other symptoms even more and I can now make sense of what's bothering me.

I'm sorry for making this post long and hard to follow, and if anyone has made it to this point, can you relate with anything i've mentioned, and how do i have add or is it just depression. I forgot to mention an important part, in 2012 my gp prescribed citalopram 10mg for 2 months and that hasn't helped... Anyway thanks for reading this post i really appreciate it

ToneTone
11-20-16, 11:47 PM
Just be specific in telling the psychiatrist about your symptoms and how you are feeling and your description of your motivation and the cloudiness of your mind ... what you say here ... just shorten it a bit and tell it to the psychiatrist.

Good luck!

Tone

saladin9256
11-21-16, 01:10 PM
Hi Tone,

the psychiatrist told me that i may have personality disorder. I showed her my uni transcript and the 2 gap years, i told her about the hyperactivity that was present in my childhood I've also told her about the fatigue and braig fog i experience on a day to day basis. She believes that because I didn't have much interest in things growing up and avoiding things that there may be some sort of personality disorder but she gave me an add assessment sheet which I've filled out and my brother filled one out also. I'm handing it in tomorrow but i think she might be right too, I behave differently with everyone, there's not a distinct personality trait or traits that i relate with, I don't know what being myself is like.

Can i ask what the best method is to treat brain fog and being forgetful, because i struggle to focus when talking to people or doing work on the computer, my brain feels like its shut off and my vision is kind of blurry but at the same time my eye sight is good its hard to describe this, but please if anyone knows how to treat this i would appreciate it.

sarahsweets
11-21-16, 03:26 PM
Hi Tone,

the psychiatrist told me that i may have personality disorder. I showed her my uni transcript and the 2 gap years, i told her about the hyperactivity that was present in my childhood I've also told her about the fatigue and braig fog i experience on a day to day basis. She believes that because I didn't have much interest in things growing up and avoiding things that there may be some sort of personality disorder but she gave me an add assessment sheet which I've filled out and my brother filled one out also. I'm handing it in tomorrow but i think she might be right too, I behave differently with everyone, there's not a distinct personality trait or traits that i relate with, I don't know what being myself is like.

Can i ask what the best method is to treat brain fog and being forgetful, because i struggle to focus when talking to people or doing work on the computer, my brain feels like its shut off and my vision is kind of blurry but at the same time my eye sight is good its hard to describe this, but please if anyone knows how to treat this i would appreciate it.
Keep in mind that you are entitled to a second opinion

ToneTone
11-21-16, 08:16 PM
It sounds like your doc did some thinking ... which is all you can really ask for.

Does the personality disorder thing seem to "fit" your own understanding of your life? People can and do have multiple conditions.

Question are there times when you don't have the "brain fog"? ..Like times of the day ... or periods of your life? Thinking about that question might be helpful in describing your symptoms to the doctor.

But don't sit quiet ... be aggressive in describing the brain fog ...

Tone

saladin9256
11-22-16, 09:10 AM
Hey Tone

It's really hard just thinking, its extremely hard to think clearly, talk to people even on the internet, i think my doctor might be right. This brain fog has been apart of my life for as long as i remember, and it's the reason why i did so poorly in school. I feel like i can't show emotions and be serious, i feel mute most of the time. My brain doesn't feel like its functioning the way it should be and i know that I'm smart enough to realise this, something is really off. I want to be passionate and speak loud and break out of this trance because inside i know what my real personality is like. If my doctor is right about the bpd, do you think antidepressants might help, with derealisation as well? Another symptom I haven't described was fatigue, i feel mentally exhausted just by talking to people, and it gets worse throughout the day, i experience this sharp, migraine feeling and at this point i feel completely dysfunctional. :(