View Full Version : Being 'childlike'...a bad thing for a 33 yr old man?


psychopathetic
11-28-16, 10:20 AM
What's your opinions on this? It's been bugging me.

I'm 33 years old.

Yet I still do a LOT of childish things.

-I still collect action figures.
-I like to collect little blind bags with my mom with random cute little animal figures in them.
-I still sleep with a baby blanket and stuffed animal.
-At anytime you can ask me about what toys are currently in mcdonalds happy meals...and I can tell you all about them lol :doh:.
-I enjoy making friendship bracelets. In fact I'm picking up a bunch of new thread and a kit someone is selling for super cheap tomorrow.

-etc. etc. I could go on for quite awhile (I collect 'little golden books', sometimes talk like a child with my parents, own a furby, always make sure to walk down the toy aisles...on and on lol).

I feel bad.
I feel wrong.
I feel like I'm a sissy or something...like people should shun me and be disgusted in me.
It's like I'm suppose to be a man, and men are suppose to be strong and serious and not at all into kid toys. Sure men love toys...only men like big boy toys like cars and electronics and tools and things.

It's something I feel a great deal of embarrassment about. Like I was doing a bunch of origami a few years ago and though I REALLY enjoyed doing it...I was always afraid someone was going to catch me and find out.
Or I love making friendship bracelets...and I made my mom a really cool one a year ago that is white with little orange (her fave color) hearts...but I'm always scared my mom's going to tell someone her son made it for her. Her 33 year old "adult" son.
Like how lame is that? A freaking grown man, making bracelets?

I'd LOVE to make some bracelets for my 2 nieces and send them to them...but yeah. How wrong would that look? For an adult dude to be sending kids friendship bracelets? It just seems bad to me.

...
What do you guys think? How do you feel?
Am I bad? Wrong? Sick?
I mean...surely I shouldn't be playing with kid toys anymore, right?

And if it's not wrong and bad...why do I feel such shame and embarrassment about it?
Do you think society in general disproves greatly of me? Or do you think society is probably a lot more 'okay' with me than I give them credit for?

Little Missy
11-28-16, 10:41 AM
As long as you're not hanging off of the cyclone fence at playgrounds for children, you should be okay.

psychopathetic
11-28-16, 11:03 AM
As long as you're not hanging off of the cyclone fence at playgrounds for children, you should be okay.

I'd probably get stuck in the slide anyhow. :lol: :lol: :lol:

Fuzzy12
11-28-16, 11:59 AM
Lots of men play with the toys you mentioned i think.

I still sometimes talk to my teddies. And I still love climbing frames. And I always do the activity sheets that some restaurants have to keep kids busy and not playing with the candles on the table (which I also do).

I can't see anything wrong with what you are doing. It doesn't hurt anyone and if it's fun for you that s all that matters really.

ginniebean
11-28-16, 12:36 PM
Ok so you're a nerd and a dork. I still buy comic books and I have action figures. I'm 20 years older than you.
Welcome to the club you dork.

talking like a child. ok, you feel safe when taken care of so I'd hazard a guess is that it is a way to reinforce to yourself and others that you need taking care of. Being a child is pretty care free. There is nothing wrong with it if you are honest with yourself. If it starts to rub you the wrong way, cause you pain, impacts your self esteem, then you may have to alter visible behaviours (not hobbies) that infantalize you.

You are a deeply good person and you will be a deeply good man. In fact you already are. All you need to do is own it. -<3

C15H25N3O
11-28-16, 08:21 PM
I am 44 and I went to university at 41.
I had lectures and fun with 19 year old guys.
Do you remember the elders having no option
to communicate with young guns?

Nothing is wrong if it comes from your heart.
In this case the others are wrong and cannot enjoy life.

Believe me there are some at your age who feel and look
20 years older. They are not wiser but are ranting all day.

Reading your posts you are a very beautyful mind.

Honestly you could write poems to share your mind – not
to addf but to the public.

Unmanagable
11-28-16, 09:50 PM
I think the goal may actually be to get back to our childhood as much as possible, to remember and embrace what it's like to live in the moment, to not be bothered and controlled by all the so-called grown up stuff, and to be able to openly and freely express ourselves however we see fit, so consider yourself ahead of the game and allow it to continue. :)

Get to know the big love that you are a bit better each day. Welcome it and make it feel at home. It's hard to recognize it at times, especially when we are used to questioning it, calling it other things, and not knowing quite how to receive it at times. But the beauty of it is, it never escapes us, it just gets covered up by the debris of our disenchantment. I'll let you borrow my broom and dust pan as soon as I'm done sweeping up over here. ;) ((((Hugs))))

BellaVita
11-28-16, 10:07 PM
Psycho has someone made you feel bad about this recently? :grouphug:

I'm a firm believer in people should just be themselves (as long as it doesn't harm anyone).

You are clearly not harming anyone, in fact I bet you make people's days with those friendship bracelets!

I would LOVE a friend like you to hang out with in real life. I am also rather child-like, and I'm a 23 YO adult.

I still sleep with my stuffed bunny that I've had since I was a baby, I still dress up and go trick-or-treating at Halloween, I have a collection of Avatar the Last Airbender cartoons that I love watching and never get tired of, I even go play on play grounds by myself lol. My husband used to do sock puppet shows every night for me to help establish a routine when I was getting settled, and he even came up with a theme song for the show - the socks were named Carol and Gordon. I'm sure there is way more that I'm not thinking of. :)

There's nothing wrong with being excited about toys!

I don't get why there seems to be some secret "rule" that adults can't enjoy the same things kids do.

I don't believe in that rule. :)

You are totally good the way you are. I think it is so cool that you collect action figures and toys, I'd love to see your collection haha.

If there's something wrong with you, then there's something wrong with us both! :lol: And I just don't think there is! We are just a bit odd and different. :)

Please don't listen to whoever is saying that you shouldn't be the way you are, even if it's yourself.

Enough Rope
12-15-16, 09:19 PM
You just need the right comic shop to hang out at... ;)

Works for me...

sarahsweets
12-16-16, 04:41 AM
Hey, I am always down for a game of hide and seek or freeze tag.

peripatetic
12-16-16, 05:25 AM
Hey, I am always down for a game of hide and seek or freeze tag.

ohmygod; freezetag! yes :D

acdc01
12-16-16, 10:22 AM
You just need the right comic shop to hang out at... ;)

Works for me...

Sounds like a good idea.

That said, I myself have learned to stay cleaner not cause being messy bothered me but because of societal pressure and people not being able to stand living with me because of it.

In an ideal world, I'd say be yourself. But in our world, I do wonder if we need to compromise sometimes. We should never be ashamed cause nothing about us is a shame. But what our interests do is limit the number of people that are right for us whether it be romantically or as friends. I do think the action figures, oragami, toys, etc. Won't limit you much at all if you make friends in the right settings like at a comic shop or something. Giving friendship bracelets to your nieces should be no problem either I would think.

Have you lost friends and romantic partners because of your interests? If so, I'd first try finding new ones that suit you better. If you can't find any because of certain intersts, well I would never give up all or even any interests that i need to be happy. but I might try changing a couple that I can actually live without just as a compromise. Could be wrong but that's what I'm thinking

Little Nut
12-16-16, 04:00 PM
Psych, for me it would simply be writing down the positives of being childish (gather much joy from doing the "things", developing cherished friendships, making others happy or helping others...)at your age and writing down the negatives (alot of angst, missing out on friendships/relationships with certain people, interferes with your job fulfillment...). From here I would push the GUTCHECKER Button. If I am still stuck, or still very conflicted, I would seek out someone that knows me and that I respect and trust and ask for their help with me sorting it out. OTOH if the answer comes back that being childish is not something you want to continue, I'm not sure how to go about making the change. GL, -LN

TygerSan
12-16-16, 05:21 PM
Or I love making friendship bracelets...and I made my mom a really cool one a year ago that is white with little orange (her fave color) hearts...but I'm always scared my mom's going to tell someone her son made it for her. Her 33 year old "adult" son.

When I was 9 and living in Austria, my family, my best friend and I were walking through the market by the river bank. There was this hippie-looking dude in his 30's or 40's making friendship bracelets. Like the really elaborate ones, with cross-hatch patterns. My friend and I were really into making them ourselves. I turned to her and said, in English, "Wow! I'll never be able to make one like that!"

He surprised the crud out of me by responding, in English, "Sure you can. All it takes is practice," before selling us each one.

I've never forgotten that story. So, at least one 9 year old girl would've thought you're a bad *** for making the bracelets.

aeon
12-16-16, 05:43 PM
Given common parlance:

childish = yes

childlike = no, and in fact, very much a positive if it means remaining open, curious, and full of wonder.


Cheers,
Ian

Little Missy
12-16-16, 07:51 PM
Given common parlance:

childish = yes

childlike = no, and in fact, very much a positive if it means remaining open, curious, and full of wonder.


Cheers,
Ian

hear! hear!

stef
12-17-16, 02:47 AM
This was one of my mom's finest qualities and she showed me how to just take delight in the simplest of things.

And so, in general and in tv shows etc, why is kind of ok and " cute" for a woman to be like this, but not men?
it always seems there's this theme in sitcoms of a man haaving some fun or quirky hobby and the wife " not letting him" indulge in " childish" hobby. Or this thing with gaming, i mean a woman who meets a guy who obviously loves video games -he's expected to not play them anymore, ever ( i dont even know where i keep reading things like this.)

sarahsweets
12-17-16, 05:37 AM
I dont see any problem with it. You do you psycho and screw anyone who tells you differently. qq

peripatetic
12-17-16, 05:48 AM
we all have our proclivities and it's a matter of finding those who either don't see them as odd or who have the same.

my husband is a mathematician. he's an introvert of sorts, but then he teaches. he makes dumb math jokes. they're awesome. he and a few of his friends play these online games on tuesdays and fridays. i don't care. i colour in my colouring book. seriously. i am on here. i mean, he puts up with that. and he puts up with my troubles.

i don't care that he's a nerd. he's brilliant and funny and handsome and a wonderful father and husband. very supportive. but, yeah...he's seen or going to see every science fiction everything ever made. he has a doctorate in theoretical mathematics.

i have my own weird ****. i pace at night. i don't like cables coming into the house. i could go on and on.

the point is, you like action figures and things that many children...who are little awesomenesses, by the way...enjoy. children don't enjoy unenjoyable ****. they're smarter than that ;)

it's a matter of whether you genuinely enjoy the things you enjoy and whether enjoying them holds you back. you can't be the only person of your sexual orientation's match that enjoys these things or wouldn't find them problematic. you just need to find your match. broaden the search maybe. but it's not a "problem" unless it's pathological in some way...which...i don't see why it necessarily would be. do you enjoy what you enjoy and feel confident in that? if so, then the problem is just one of scope...widen yours to find others with similar interests or who can appreciate your interests.

xx

TurtleBrain
01-17-17, 10:56 AM
Don't worry, I've seen plenty of gamers on youtube who are in their mid 20s and they collect toys and plushies. If I had alot of money, I'd probably do the same.