View Full Version : lost in life


NateDEEzy
11-28-16, 11:11 PM
I don't know why I keep coming here. No one's going to have an answer for my problems, but I just don't know what to do. I seriously have no drive, I feel no love in my life, I suck at what I do for a career, and I'm around smart people and my lack of aility to focus or really just function makes me feel like a ******* waste. That and my office mate, who is sometimes cool, likes basically talks **** about me in front of others. But I question if it's good for me, bc he basically said today in reference to needing to call someone and ask for a sample of something, that the other guy in the room should do it and then wen't on about how I'm a pushover and I'm not a salesman. It's true, but it's like I want to shout out, I'm seriously so ******* depressed that I could honestly kill myself if I wasn't so afraid to do it, this is like the last thing I need in life.
I know that life isn't easy for basically anyone, but I also feel like 99.9% of the population doesn't have to go through what I do. I'd honestly take a ****tier life, without things, if I could just be more capable. I'm 30 years old and I haven't dated anyone in like 8 years. I haven't even gone on a date, really without getting high before bc I have such bad social anxiety. I just feel like life is soo totally hopeless and I don't know what to do bc I hate my life but I don't see how I'd even be able to make it better bc I'm so incapable. Not only am I so spaced out all the time, but I have a lisp, which makes my inability to communicate that much harder. I mean I don't even know anyone who'd like my company, bc I just sit silently most the time, while my brain races about how I should say something, but I never know what to say. I'm just so ******* tired. I try so hard but I feel like I'm getting really close to breaking. I can't focus, I'm always tired, I don't like what I do but I can't think of anything I'd even enjoy bc I'm just such a miserable person that no matter what I do, I know that I'll always have to live with me, which I don't like who I am. I feel like life has become something I always need to pump myself up for, to just function at a low level. I so ******* lost..

Jeftheginger
11-29-16, 01:05 AM
Are you medicated. If so the problem is in your attitude. I know it is hard but you must at least fake being happy, then you will become happier, a You become that roll.
Try making a game out of everything. Smile as much as possible. Do not give up.

sarahsweets
11-29-16, 12:36 PM
I want to validate your despair. I also want to encourage you to try therapy- even if you have before and didnt like it, its tough to get our perfect therapist match. People are as*holes if your lisp bothers them. When you talked about getting high I assume you mean weed? I can tell you that despite the positives for some people it can seriously affect your mood in a downer way, decrease motivation and make you tired more often. But I can see how it helps some people with anxiety. If you can manage it, try a few months off it, and see if it makes a difference.

ADDon1
12-04-16, 06:11 PM
Standing on a line between giving up and seeing how much more you can take.
If you can't do it on your own -as you have clearly stated- seek help.

jkimbo
12-04-16, 07:17 PM
A number of things can be going on. I strongly recommend you bring this up with your pdoc and if you don't have one, get one. I can tell you this for certain though, NO you are not the only one that feels that way, and YES there is help!

I have a great pdoc, we don't worry about diagnosis or labels, we just treat my symptoms. Also some times therapy works for a lot of people. The point is there is a lot you can do. I run a mental health group for people with bipolar and borderline and a whole assortment of other stuff too. What you are feeling is far from rare. I feel like that too sometimes! There are so many factors at play that can contribute to this there is no point in speculating your guessing. That's where a pdoc comes in. That's his/her job. It could be something as simple as a med change, or a spat of depression, lots of factors! To complicate things even more, a lot of these symptoms are very common in a number of different mental health illnesses. I've been diagnosed so many different things over the years by professionals! So you can see why it's kind of pointless for us to speculate. Just treat the symptoms my friend! Good luck to you!

jkimbo
12-04-16, 07:26 PM
I want to validate your despair. I also want to encourage you to try therapy- even if you have before and didnt like it, its tough to get our perfect therapist match. People are as*holes if your lisp bothers them. When you talked about getting high I assume you mean weed? I can tell you that despite the positives for some people it can seriously affect your mood in a downer way, decrease motivation and make you tired more often. But I can see how it helps some people with anxiety. If you can manage it, try a few months off it, and see if it makes a difference.

You are so right about the weed. It can be a life saver for some, but for others, like me included it brings out more bad things, like paranoia, anxiety, hallucinations, visual and or audio. I kid you not! I am all for legalizing Marijuana and it can help a lot of people, but it can also have a lot of negative effects on some people too. Like all meds I guess.

Fuzzy12
12-04-16, 08:01 PM
Are you on meds? Could you be depressed? Are you getting any sort of treatment? Therapy?

Please don't vr so hard on yourself. I know it's tough but it might not always be this way. It might not seem like that but 30 is still fairly young.

Strutsen
12-06-16, 05:26 AM
You'll make everything worse by comparing yourself with others that's something you have to deal with or you'll never find happiness.

Pilgrim
12-12-16, 08:35 AM
When life starts to suck go to the gym, and don't feel guilty about it. That's what I reckon.

ginniebean
12-12-16, 01:17 PM
Ahh Nate, I am so deeply sorry you are so down. You're frustration and despair are being received. You're right, we can't help, maybe a pdoc or therapist can. All we can do is tell you we care and we're here for everything up to and including the primal scream.

Be kind to your self.