View Full Version : a bit of rambling about my 'dream job'


psychopathetic
12-02-16, 01:55 PM
A bit over a year ago (I think. Was it 2 years ago? I don't know lol) I was hired for a position at a nursing home for the elderly.

I quit within a month or 2.
A large part of my soul was left behind.

From the first moment I stepped into that building I could feel the magic.
It was such a lovely facility. Clean, sunny, full of smiles and cheer...warm and welcoming.
There was a spark in the air there. It was incredible.

The first time I went to visit this magical kingdom, I was there for an interview.
I bombed it. Hard. I was completely unprepared for formal questioning. I stuttered and had no answers to some very basic, easy questions, and I just felt miserable.
I walked back out to my car, started to cry a little...then I came to these forums to pout about it.

And then something incredible happened.
I made the decision to get myself back up, jump back into my car, drive back to the nursing home...hold my head high, and ask to speak with the guy who'd be my boss (and who was 1 of 2 people interviewing me earlier that day) and pour my heart out to him.

And damned if I didn't do just that!
And it was amazing. It was so beyond me to do something like that! To pick myself up and assert myself like that!

And it worked. I was hired! It took a while as they had to do a background check on me, and for whatever reason my background check took longer than they typically take.

But I was hired.

I had the coolest freaking title ever! I wore a badge (that I was SUPER proud to wear!) that had my name on it...and under it was my title. "Life Enrichment". Seriously...how cool of a title is that?
"Hey Psychpathetic? What do you do for a living?"
..."I enrich people's lives!" haha! I got such a kick out of that title!

And it was the COOLEST job ever!
I was the guy who helped set activities and projects up for the lovelies who lived there. Everything from coffee in the mornings, to bingo, to parties.
It was an amazing "job" and I was overwhelmed with glee about it.

I even got to take the lovelies out on a small bus to drive them around scenic routes around my beautiful town (that's just under some beautiful mountains). I felt so unbelievably spoiled to be getting paid to do such a fun and amazing thing!

...
And omg guys!
I fell SO in love with SO many people there! I walked around there with my chin up and a HUGE grin on my face. I couldn't help it! I was BURSTING with happiness. Joy.
I seriously felt as if I'd FINALLY found it. The thing I was good at. I'd been searching my entire life and always felt so frustrated and heart broken because everyone always makes the claim that "everyone is good at something!"...only I wasn't good at a danged thing.
But this was it! This IS my calling.

I belonged there. I never felt like that before. It was right where I was meant to be.

And it was all just so amazing. I spent as much time as I could sitting with and chatting with all my lovelies. So many amazing people.
And I was only there for a short period...and yet I could feel a whole book full of heart warming stories I got to be a part of in that time.
It makes me want to weep and to sing all at the same time.
I loved that place. I still do. A large part of my soul is still in that building.

I was so amazing with the people guys! And not just the lovelies that lived there. But I was so warm and loving and helpful to EVERYONE there. All the nurses, all the cleaning people, the barber (haha they had a barber shop there! How cool is that!?), the physical therapists, the volunteers...EVERYONE. I was like this big fluffy cloud of happiness lol.
It actually caused some difficultly for me...as I was bursting so much with excitement that I was talking too fast cause I just couldn't help it...and a lot of my lovelies complained over and over to me that I needed to slow down cause they couldn't understand what I was saying lol.

But I just LOVED it. Spending time with them. I felt SO needed. There's not enough 1 on 1 with a lot of the lovelies there. A lot of the lovelies have no family that come to visit. I could almost physically feel that need for a friend.
And danged if I didn't make for a good one. I'd listen to your stories all day. And I was always so polite and always so considerate. And I was always so busy keeping everyone well hydrated and fed haha. The place has a popcorn machine, ice cream machine, cappuccino machine (as well as regular coffee of course) a soda fountain...and a juice fountain (usually it was orange juice, grape juice or apple juice).
And I was always SO happy to go around asking if any of my lovelies would like something to snack on...something to drink.
They were always SO appreciative of it too!
Oh I loved that!


Alas...
It wasn't meant to be. :(

I was hired on as a part time worker...I'd be working 2 days 1 week, 3 days the next. I told my boss it was important for me to start out slow...that I jumped into full time work a year earlier and it overwhelmed me.
Why then was I scheduled to work 8+ days straight? I mean...I know why (people were taking vacations during that time and someone in our department had just moved on to another job)...so I knew if I just stuck it out for a month or so, things would settle and I'd be on a regular, truly "part time" schedule.
But dang.

And my boss.
He's amazing. That place is SUPER lucky to have him. He's a damn hard worker, is a super clean guy...super kind and you can just tell that he genuinely loves and cares for the lovelies there.
But grrrrr....
He was a huge perfectionist. He had lists for everything which was nice as it gave me stuff to follow...but totally overwhelming at the same time. There was far too many lists for me to keep up with.
And he kept me SUPER freaking busy. I often didn't even take any breaks (which was okay with me. It's not like I smoked or anything). I always felt like I was 2 or 3 hours behind.
And I was having some serious difficulties learning everyone's names...then learning all their family members names (it was up to my department to keep track of who visited who each day).
And the paperwork...it overwhelmed me. I had to go through every lovely that lived there and go through a whole checklist of things. Did they have any visitors? Did they leave their rooms? Did they do anything spiritual that day? Have any complaints? Join in on any of the scheduled activities? Etc. Etc.). I would've gotten use to the paperwork eventually and it would stop being a big deal...but at the time it was overwhelming to me. It was tough as heck to even find spare time to do it...then I didn't know who was who on half the names...gah. I ended up just blazing through it and copying the check marks from the previous day.
My boss caught me doing it just before I quit and really chewed me out about it...about how important the paperwork is, and he could tell that I hadn't been taking it serious.

And then he sat down with me. My boss.
He explained to me that this place was not a 1 on 1 facility. That they didn't have the staff for it, and that it'd cost way too much...that I needed to manage my time better and that I couldn't sit down like I was doing to hang out with all the lovelies. That it wasn't my job to help them with everything (I was CONSTANTLY asking if anyone needed anything, and man I was SO thrilled to help as I could! I made a woman cry cause I helped her clean off her desk in her room one afternoon. She was just so danged happy that I did that for her! haha omg I love her guys).

This stopped me dead in my tracks. This was the crushing blow. It was this talk with him where I realized I wasn't going to make it much longer.

He kept me so busy the next week that I really had no time to sit down with any of the lovelies to begin with. And I hated it. I felt miserable.
And my boss was breathing down my back, and I could feel his quiet anger and frustrations with me building more and more each day.
I was too slow, I was too behind. I didn't manage my time well and I was always making dumb mistakes. He had lists for me to follow for nearly everything. He'd scold me about it...I'd do something wrong (or forget to do something) and he'd be all like "well...did you check the such and such list? I have it written down for you! :mad:". Gah!!!

I fell apart.
I crumbled.
I started to feel like I had zero time for my lovelies. I'd stay after work sometimes, or stay during my mandatory lunch break sometimes just to get in some 1 on 1 time with them. They needed it. I needed it.
That's what I wanted. That's ALL I wanted. I just wanted to be there for THEM. I wanted to serve them. I wanted to work for them.
Instead I was working for my very strict, perfectionist boss who kept me on such a tight schedule that I couldn't breath.
And it broke my heart. How I was constantly so far behind on my schedule that I couldn't even offer to get a gentleman a cup of coffee...or to sit for even just 5 minutes with a lovely woman and looking out a window at some of the birds at the bird feeders...

I just couldn't do it.

I found my dream job. The powers that be...whatever they may be...came down and made me keenly aware of my true calling in life.
Never have I ever felt like I so strongly belonged to a place before. I was SUPPOSE to be there. I could feel it, and it felt good.
It's one of the most beautiful experiences I've ever felt in my life.

But dang. I just wasn't meant for the job that was offered to me. I was being asked to work too many days and too many hours early on...instead of slowly easing into it like I had specifically requested...the constant pressure and the not having enough time with the lovelies...
It just wasn't the right fit for me at that time.
Again though...I don't mean to make my boss seem like a bad guy here. He's not. He was just a perfectionist and I'm not so good with people expecting too much out of me like that.
That place would fall apart without him though. They need someone like him who takes that position so seriously. He's really the backbone of the entire place. He keeps things running smoothly and on time. He's a heck of a man and I hold no ill feelings towards him. I genuinely like him and feel privileged to have met him...it's just I can't work with him.

...
But I'm not done guys.
I'm just slow. Too slow.

I strongly believe I could work my way up into my own position at this elderly nursing home. The position doesn't exist...but I truly believe I could convince enough of the higher ups that such a position NEEDS to exist, that I could create my own path.
I completely believe that this nursing home needs a payed staff member to be there 100% for those who live there. To go around and just be a friend. To offer to help...to offer to get them refreshments.
Someone who's wholly dedicated just to them.
Not a nurse who spends half their time doing paperwork...not someone like I was who was their to set rooms up and help schedule and run activities...not someone there to clean...
A friend. Someone that has all the time in the world to sit down and just talk. About anything. To just be there...1 on 1.

And I am absolutely the right person for such a position. I am such a genuinely nice and loving person. Patient and interested, courteous and caring, pleasant and willing.

This is my dream.
And I don't know how far fetched it sounds to others...but to me I fully believe it's an obtainable dream.
The people who own nursing home here...own dozens of them across the country and it's obvious that they strive to be a premiere nursing facility. Everything is so clean and well ran with such friendly staff.
I think I could convinced even the 2 who established this place of my ideas.

...
But I can't just jump in either. I'd only become overwhelmed and burn myself out and quit. Can you imagine going through all that effort only to quit within the first month or 2?

No...what I really want to do is to volunteer...or more accurately...become just a visitor. To do this for a minimum of a year. To prove myself...not only to the higher ups...but to prove to my own self...that I'm ready for this. To stick it through.

My heart belong at this particular elderly home. I so fully believe I belong there.
It'll take a lot of time and strength though.

But it's right there guys! It's so close that all I have to do is reach out for it.

And yet I haven't.
I've been stuck. I want so badly to go back and to start hanging out with my lovelies again. Unpaid for now. On my own terms.

But when? I've already went and spoke with my old boss and the director of this particular facility...They both would love to have me back as a volunteer.

haha I gotta go though. I'm falling asleep at my computer.

Maybe it's time I start talking about this more. Maybe that can help motivate me to get up and out there...to go and invent my dream job.

psychopathetic
12-02-16, 01:57 PM
haha...I kinda sorta love that I just posted a big a** post like this again. It's been so long since I've just let it out like I did here and made a huge post.

No need to read it guys, haha I'm just using this place as a diary for this post. A blog lol >.<'.
I use to love typing up big posts. I guess I just needed to release this! :p

Fuzzy12
12-02-16, 03:22 PM
Definitely go and volunteer. Sounds like you made a huge difference to the lovelies. I'm not sure if it will definitely be possible to convert it into a paid position as they might jtst not have the money for it but it's definitely worth a shot and you get to make a lot of lovelies happy jn that time.

I remember when you were working there and how much you loved it. I always loved reading your posts about this job.

You sre an amazing person by the way...in case you didn't know...

Joker_Girl
12-02-16, 05:18 PM
As much as nursing homes cost, they could absolutely afford such a position.

But it is ALL about money. It shouldn't be, but it is. The last time i worked in the nursing home, i did the MDS and care planning, QA, all kind of stuff, and i was always getting more piled on me. This is a FOR PROFIT business, there is little to no concern for the residents and employees, just get more done, with less staff, to save money. Some of those poor aides were running themselves to an early grave, for 9 dollars an hour, and it was NEVER ENOUGH. They just wanted to help people, and it is WRONG. We owe the residents and the caregivers better than this.

Seek out a home health agency as they will hire aides/ companians for the elderly to help them stay in their home. Generally if a hospital has a long term care facility or skilled nursing facility attached to it, they will be better staffed and less profit focused. They will of course seek a profit, but ownership is local rather than corporate. This will make a difference in patient care.

If you can find an alzheimers care facility, they generally understand about the need for structure and activities, and will staff someone to manage this.

stef
12-02-16, 06:36 PM
have you considered a residence for senior citizens?
not a nursing home , people have their own apartments , but there are activities ( my mom and aunt lived in places like this).

Little Missy
12-02-16, 07:08 PM
have you considered a residence for senior citizens?
not a nursing home , people have their own apartments , but there are activities ( my mom and aunt lived in places like this).

Yes! This is a much better option.

psychopathetic
12-02-16, 07:21 PM
You sre an amazing person by the way...in case you didn't know...

No I don't know.
Please tell me ALL about it!!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

And thanks guys, i have more to say later. But am on phone atm so will. E. a k later.

Joker_Girl
12-02-16, 08:06 PM
Oh! Great idea!
It is usually called an assisted living community!

It is for people who are mostly independant, and can take care of themselves for the most part, but just need a little extra help.

I have a friend who works at the one here in town, she does hair, and helps with different things, they play cards, go on outings etc. Another of my friends (the sister in law of the first friend) used to be the director of nursing there. It is a nice place!

Here is the link to that place, to give you an idea. You should be able to find similar things near you.

http://gonebraskacity.com/member/morton-place/