View Full Version : Videogames and frontal lobe


Astrettal
12-09-16, 06:25 AM
Hi,

my son is 9 and he has been diagnosed with ADHD 5 intense years ago.
I lack the opportunity to discuss with other parents about techniques and ideas, thus I'm writing in these pages.

Lately my son has been particularly verbally aggressive and arrogant and impulsive. Thinking that this was related (among other things) to his time spent playing on his mobile phone, we decided to have a break and took away the phone for two weeks of detoxing.

This option has been discussed with him and it is not perceived as a punishment despite his occasional tantrums because "I don't have anything to do, I just want to play, you took it away from me, it is all your fault".

Our problem at the moment is that we can se he is generally much more relaxed, is brain works in a different way and is not as tired as it use to be.
On the other side, he is three times more hyperactive.
In the morning before his medication takes effect, it's all a blabbing swearing words and flipping fingers, in the afternoon he jumps and run all over the house engaging in pillow fights and wrestling with anyone and anything available.
I mean anything: he would throw paper planes around and try to jump on them, like a cat would do with a yarn ball.

In order to calm him down, I would need to engage him constantly (surpassing the first "I'm not interested, this is stupid and boring *add insult*" answer).
Of course I do prefer to have him hyperactive than lobotomised by a phone, but one week is gone and I feel exhausted of the fighting and in lack of ideas.

Did someone went through a similar experience? How did you stimulate your children in a way that gives a boost big enough that they don't feel the need to defy rules or get in trouble in order to have a rush of adrenaline?

Thank you for any help, idea and support.

sarahsweets
12-13-16, 03:34 AM
kids with adhd can get lost in their gadjets for sure. What worked in my home when they were little was to earn time for them.This was never a punisment sort of thing and was never meant to be anything that they couldnt meet. It was simple. Like getting dressed, having homework finished or packed up, shoes on and breakfast done meant they could have their gadget of choice. As they have gotten older, we have only once had to take a phone away as a consequence and that was hell.But it did work.

SB_UK
12-14-16, 12:09 PM
Stimulant meds should supply the need which is otherwise satisfied through self-medication.
Ideally kiddy would be able to derive reward from life - but that is difficult (impossible) in this world.

The secret to helping ADDer kiddies - will be to generate a world in which success (at exams, sport, art etc) is not forced.

Everybody wants to do something - it's when we force people to engage that everything goes wrong - kids lose a sense of personal volition in activities which might otherwise be fun
- feel stress
- self-medicate -

-- in much the same way that adults do this with alcohol, certain foodstuffs (particularly takeaway class), etc ... ...

just self-medication for those with money.

For kids without - they take what they can get - stimulation from cheap and nasty junk foods (particularly blood glucose level raising and glutamate-rich foods) and extreme/competitive sports, not to mention dreaming of their next present -

- there are parallels in the self-medication of child and adult

- so from above -

--- child ---
stimulation from cheap and nasty junk foods (particularly blood glucose level raising and glutamate-rich foods)
--- adult ---
similar - perhaps a bit more expensive ie KFC instead of Iceland chicken nuggets

--- child ---
extreme/competitive sports
--- adult ---
watching, but instead of actually winning - winning by proxy through some arbitrarily chosen team

--- child ---
dreaming of their next present (https://play.google.com/music/preview/T24tyscckj6k4k3optxwwmhxbha?lyrics=1&utm_source=google&utm_medium=search&utm_campaign=lyrics&pcampaignid=kp-lyrics)
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday, happy birthday--- adult ---
pretty much the same and courtesy of Amazon - the adult need not even leave their house

--- child ---
computer gaming
--- adult ---
adult sites also

-*-

SB_UK
12-14-16, 12:14 PM
So in 'stupid world' you can either stimulate with meds or stimulate with academic/sporting etc competition.
None of the above is optimal - you (and we all) need a world in which a child chooses a path without consequence to / fear of failure.

And once that happens - the child will become good at whatever it is that they choose.

but when do we start ?
The newborn has needs.

Yes a sliding scale from birth to wisdom (mid-30s) where we're required to teach excellence in words, ideas, basics of art or empathizing, systematizing and sensory skills - but push it a little further and what would be nice is when excellence in worthwhile pursuits - all learning associated - become personally desired .

SB_UK
12-14-16, 12:25 PM
Being as simple as I can - you need a world in which your kid has fun becoming better.

That's all.

'becoming better' defined in post above.

SB_UK
12-14-16, 02:17 PM
The need to be stimulated is our problem.

And it goes away either if nonADDer attains wisdom (this represents loss of need for speed), or if ADDer (doors of perception open cf Highly Sensitive Person) is left alone (non-co-ercive environment to drink in information) (this represents loss of need for speed for stress-relief) ie explains away the paradoxical effect of stimulant on nonADDer and ADDer.

Pre-wisdom nonADDers needs to be stimulated.
ADDer in default state wants to be free from stress/coercion.

peripatetic
12-15-16, 04:16 AM
moderator note:

this thread is reopened. this is the main question(s) in this topic:

Did someone went through a similar experience? How did you stimulate your children in a way that gives a boost big enough that they don't feel the need to defy rules or get in trouble in order to have a rush of adrenaline?

any posts that veer off topic going forward will be removed and so forth. please be respectful of the thread starter, who sincerely wants replies directly to her question.

cheers,
-peri

Astrettal
12-15-16, 05:18 AM
Thank you, I got lost somewhere in there :)

Reading the previous posts though, something to add came to my mind.

My kid practice sports 4 days per week and plus he practice violin and he is a Scout.
All these activities are his choice and we would be lost without them.

The problem is that once taken off the videogames (his personal source of stress and tension) we didn't expect him to become more hyperactive vocally engaged in filling every quiet moment in the house.

Astrettal
12-15-16, 05:21 AM
...and...
He does have the opportunity to earn his gaming-time, but at this moment he was so stressed by it that we decided together with him to have a break.
He himself, recognises that there was a problem and needed help. It was not a punishment.

sarahsweets
12-15-16, 06:41 AM
Even tho those activities are his choice do you think its possible that he is overscheduled- even if he isnt mature enough to realize it?

Astrettal
12-15-16, 11:22 AM
Yes thank you for the suggestion. I've thought of that as well, and we did had a pause, but it was worse than ever.

Apparently he needs constant stimulus, I trying to figure our how to obtain it without using is phone or wrestling with his sister.

SB_UK
12-15-16, 12:34 PM
How did you stimulate your children in a way that gives a boost big enough that they don't feel the need to defy rules or get in trouble in order to have a rush of adrenaline? So in brief.

[1] Encourage adrenaline through competition
[2] Whilst (hopefully) education takes child (confers morality) away from the competitive reward system
[3] ... ... and imparts a collaborative reward system

In the absence of [2], [1] doesn't lead to a nice place (we all lose at some point) - the key is to [3] no longer caring.