OK this is a long story so I'll try to break it up.

Our school has what is called a resource coordinater. She is supposed to help families in the school access local services of various kinds. She told me she could get my daughter and I an in-home counselor when I asked if there were any ADD coaches in the area.

Well that was in January... now school is out and all this time she's telling me to be patient, there's lots of "paperwork" involved, I'm working really hard on this for you. Did I mention she basically said that the only way we could get this service was through her! :mad: What a crock!! My daughters aide at school told me that this woman pretty much spends her time chatting with her favorite male teacher and not a whole lot else.

So long story short;) In about 15 minute worth of phone calls, I have arranged an intake interview with one of the providers my ins. will cover, BUT, there is a waiting list and it could be another 4 MONTHS!! before we can start! I really can't wait that long, heck I waited too long when I asked in the first place, and that was over 4 months ago. I'm already half way to a nervous breakdown. My child needs more help than I can give her. I am just too worn down from just dealing with the daily drama. For example , I just spent the whole day cleaning my daughters room so I could vacuum, steam clean and spray for BUGS (carpet beetles eeeww)due to her refusing to pick up so that I could vacuum. To make this even more mortifying, I found out about the bugs NOT from my lovely child but from the building manager that let in the plumber who had to access the main plumbing line under her bed! EEK!:eek:

So, now we are in trouble with our housing (not too bad but still...) Do you think this could qualify as a "crisis" and if so will it get us help any sooner? I'll go through social services if I absolutely have to. I just don't know what to do at this point. I really, truly am at the end of my ability to handle her. What should/can I do?

thanks for listening,
Kirsten

p.s. my daughter is 9yo. dx with adhd w/poss. odd but more than one person has mentioned autistic tendencies (aspergers??)

Find out who the counselor's boss is. Never wait. Never be patient. The "paperwork" is a load of crap. You should have at least received some confirmation that you case was being reviewed by now if the "paperwork" was started.
If it takes 4 months to do the paperwork the system has a big FLAW. But, the flaw is likely to be a lazy @$$ counselor that wouldn't know what a sense of urgency is with a gun in her face.

Call social services. Call every child support service the government offers until someone gets you to the right person.

In Illinois we have medical coverage for kids called kidcareillinois.com. They have links to ALL sorts of resources for things related to the well being and support of children. Minnesota must have a similar program since this is federally funded.

Check with local hospitals and home care services to find out how they get things expedited since they provide services that are subsidized by the government.

Does your child have an IEP? If not has a child study meeting been held to discuss the components to be looked at to determine services that she might need? I wouldn't recommend calling social services, unless you, yourself want to be investigated.

I would go see the Principal of your child's school and ask for a meeting with an exceptional education teacher. If your child has been diagnoised adhd and u have this in writing from a doctor, you really need to get her under a 504 plan or IEP...

Good Luck

yeah!! our first appointment is thursday (tomorrow) for intake and assesment with counseling to start within 2 weeks! All as a result of my own phone calls.

Yes, she does have an IEP. Our school district is actually quite good about that. Also, my dad was a sp.ed. teacher here for 30 years, so that has been a big help too! She still loves school even with all the problems she has with it. I think that says a lot about this school in particular.

This resource lady is the only problem I have ever had there, and she has been helpful in the past with another issue. Thats why I just took her word for it on the delays. Well since school is out, I have a couple of months to decide what to do about that!

Thanks so much for having this forum. It sure helps to have a place to vent where people actually GET what you are talking about!!

Kirsten

babybear,

When it comes to "lighting a fire underneath someone", whether it's in the regular school system or the special education school system, the saying of "The squeaky wheel gets the grease" holds true.

I have so much grease on my wheel, but the more grease, the better. Especially when it comes to disability awareness and getting what is fair and equitable for your child.

My adhd/ocd/mood disorder son is 12, just finished 6th grade and is anxiously heading into 7th grade. It's been a long, tough, uphill battle but it is something that has to be done. The more we fight for our kids, the better it will be for other kids just like them.

We have had a few on the teaching staff that needed more of a kick than others to jump on board the adhd wagon.

The grade school principal was a militant and I really think she didn't believe in adhd.

The counselor from hell was even worse. Starting in Kindergarten through 4th grade, she would sit in IEP meetings and in the "Can I please come back to school after being suspended meetings" and try and make us feel as though it as "our" fault that my son had no social skills, was disrespectful, and was unable to listen. Like we weren't doing enough at home with him.

My daughter, who is 14, goes to a private catholic school, has made honor role every quarter since 4th grade, received the "Do the Right Thing Award" and won the "Dare to Say No to Drugs Essay Contest". My daughter and son were raised exactly the same, in the same household. The difference is that he has a severe case of adhd/ocd and mood disorder.

In 5th grade, after going as high as I could with the Special School District, I received a liason from SSD that would go to the meetings with us and whom I could call or email whenever for whatever. She was not necessarily an advocate like we had when I hired one, but someone that I would deal with rather than dealing with the nimrods like the principal and counselor.

I pretty much gave the counselor a "cease and desist" from talking with me, looking at me, etc... I was patient holding my tongue (for the most part) for 5 years.

Once we got to middle school, I was going to put the counselor and principal from elementary school on every single fricking mailing list for anything that even remotely mentioned the word add or adhd...but being the adhd person that I am, I got over it and moved on.

I know that what I squeaked about for my son was definitely heard and that there are more of me to come. The teachers, principals, and counselors need to realize that us add/adhd moms are relentless and passionate when it comes to our add/adhd kids.

"THEY BETTER BE ABLE TO PLAY WITH THE BIG DOGS OR GET BACK ON THE PORCH." (I love that saying. It is so true.)

Anyway, hang in there. You are so lucky to have your dad with his wealth of knowledge in the special school district world.

Squeak your wheel. Go after the grease. Don't give up.