View Full Version : About to be expelled from second preschool

12-13-16, 11:17 PM
Hi there,

I guess I'm just looking for words of wisdom or advice on something else we can do to help our 4.5 year old son.

Some background info: our son was diagnosed ADHD a few months ago and was started on Tenex 0.5mg/day about 1 month ago. We hadn't wanted to give such a young child medication but his impulsivity was proving to be very dangerous as he would try to run away a lot, and also had been having issues with being aggressive at school with teachers and other children. The medication worked great for about 2 weeks, and now he's pretty much back to his regular self.

He had been at a preschool since age 2 and they started having problems with him around age 3.5. His first school worked with us a lot over more than 9 months as we tried to get to the bottom of his behavioral problems. So far we have seen a child psychologist, OT, and a child psychiatrist. We ultimately decided to change schools so he could get more individualized attention at a much smaller Montessori school closer to our house.

So fast forward to now....

We were just told that his second preschool doesn't want him back after the end of this year. He has been there for about 5 weeks now and we had our first parent teacher conference after about a week and a half in which they told us he would need to improve a lot if he was to stay. Even though he did improve a lot, his impulse control is still almost nil so he acts out a lot.

One of his main issues is he is always trying to run away and escape school, which is an obvious safety concern. Also, he can be very defiant at times and the teachers have trouble getting him to follow instructions. We don't have quite so many problems at home but we do still see some of these behaviors.

So, now we aren't sure what to do next. We are worried about his self esteem from being rejected from preschool so close to starting kindergarten. Do we even attempt another preschool or have him at home with a nanny? It just seems like such a step back for him to go from school to nanny when kids his age are doing the opposite.

We have an appointment with the psychiatrist this week to see if his medication should be adjusted or switched. I just feel so sad and at a loss for what to do.
Any advice is welcome. Thanks

12-14-16, 09:53 AM
My 7 year old daughter is likely dyslexic and she did wonderfully in a Montessori school where she was allowed to do things in her own way. My 14 year old son is ADHD and while he did not go to a Montessori school I truly believe he would have done very poorly if we had tried that.

Perhaps your son is different than mine but maybe he isn't. Through the years I have learned that what my son truly needs is strict rules and guidelines, HOWEVER, the punishment for breaking those rules needs to be mild. He doesn't do well in a one size fits all box, he phsycially can't act like other students, but he does very well with CLEAR SIMPLE directions, with a lot of redirection.

If he doesn't get directions that are clear and simple his brain goes a bit haywire. He starts trying to do one thing, bounces to another, can't remember what he was doing, then gets mad that he forgot to finish his painting and now that time is over, this causes anger at himself at the rules, at the staff...etc.

My son plays baseball, very high level baseball. He has always done better with a coach that says do it THIS way and ONLY this way. The coaches that say "Hey have fun out there, do your thing...etc" He doesn't do well with those coaches. My daughter needs the leeway to do things her way, which isn't the standard way but she gets there in the son needs a firm do it THIS way, or his brain goes nuts.

Just a thought!